#mer!squid

I asked for ideas for what to write on my days off, and @unworried-corsair suggested "mer!squid". This is probably not what anyone was expecting.

I'M NOT SORRY.

--------

When Killian had been contacted by Ursula via shell phone, asking to meet on his ship, Killian hadn't expected this.

He'd found her on deck, staring out to sea, with a tiny girl about the same age as Hope cradled in her arms. Ursula regarded him solemnly, a look the child mimicked perfectly.

"Thank you for coming," Ursula said.

"I'm not one to turn away a lady in need," Killian said. "Speaking of... who's this lovely lass?" He leaned closer to the girl, and she scowled at him. A turquoise tentacle slapped him in the face.

Ursula smiled, a genuine one he hadn't seen since she was a good who'd still hoped for escape. "This is Uma," she said. "My daughter."

"She's lovely. Takes after you," he said, dodging another tentacle, only to be hit in the ear by a third.

Uma giggled.

"She's actually why I'm here," Ursula said. "I'm going to be away for a week, and I can't bring her with me. I was hoping you could babysit."

"Ah...me? A babysitter?" Killian scratched behind his ear. That was a new one.

"I've heard you have a child of your own," Ursula said. "I know you can handle her. And you and Emma would be able to defend her if necessary."

"Just how dangerous is this journey of yours?" Killian asked, eyes narrowing. "Are we in danger?" He didn't want to bring trouble down on his home and his own child.

Ursula hesitated. "Not yet," she said. "But if something were to go wrong..."

"Are you leaving immediately? I'd like to discuss this with Emma."

Ursula nodded. "I understand. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Please let me know when you have an answer."

"Aye. Where will you be staying?"

Ursula sighed. "I'll probably end up at Granny's inn. But it's better she stays near water for now."

Uma squinted her eyes at him. Killian imitated her. Uma stuck out her tongue. Killian reciprocated. Uma giggled.

"Why don't you stay on my ship for the night?" Killian asked. "My cabin is big enough for you and the lass. I'll try not to keep you waiting for an answer."

"Thank you," Ursula said. Uma babbled something that Killian chose to interpret as a thanks as well.

--------

When Killian brought it up with Emma later that night, he was surprised when she quickly agreed.

"It could be good for Hope to be around another baby," Emma said. "Plus...I know you still feel guilty for what you did all those years ago. It might help you gain peace of mind."

She wasn't wrong. Killian felt guilty about a lot of things he'd done, and he tried to help as many people he'd wronged as he could.

Killian contacted Ursula to let her know, and he and Emma met up with her the following morning.

The calm, collected Ursula of the previous day was gone, replaced by a frantic mother trying to tell them everything they needed to know about taking care of Uma.

Killian assured her they knew what they were doing, and he was certain they'd be fine, until - "There's one last little thing," Ursula said. "Uma needs to be in the water a few hours a day, the deeper the better. I was hoping you would consent to becoming a merperson so you can watch her in the deeps."

Killian's jaw dropped. "What?" he yelped.

"Temporarily! It's just while you're in the water," Ursula said quickly. "Once you dry out, you'll have legs again."

"Ah..." Killian had no idea how to respond.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Emma said. "Fins for a few hours a day? You may even enjoy it."

"Tentacles, actually," Ursula said. "Uma would be more comfortable if you had tentacles."

"All right," Killian said, feeling a little uneasy, but willing to give it a try. "Let's do this."

Ursula waved her hands, and Killian felt her magic slowly rise within him, like the tide coming in. Suddenly, his legs collapsed from under him, and there seemed to be way too many of them.

Much to his annoyance, his pants split.

Then things got really strange; his face itched, his skin crawled, and suddenly he found he was somehow looking both up and down at the same time. "Bloody hell!" he yelped.

"What's wrong with his eyes?!" Emma cried.

Killian tried to look at her, but could only seem to see her feet. And the sky.

"Huh. I wasn't expecting a cock-eyed squid," Ursula said.

"A what?" Killian tried to glare at her. His eyes wouldn't cooperate.

"Don't worry, it'll wear off in a moment, until you're in the water. I really appreciate this, Killian, Emma. You be good for them, Uma. I'll bring something back from a sunken ship, okay?"

There was a splash, and then it was quiet.

"Ah," was all Emma could say. Uma giggled. Something poked at his skyward-facing eye.

Then he felt it: a tingle of magic washing through him, and suddenly, he had legs again, bare and hairy and sprawled out in front of him like limp noodles.

But there was something really, really wrong - his eyes were way lower than they should have been, and still cock-eyed.

Also, he didn't seem to have arms.

That was concerning.

Emma walked into the field of vision of his upward-facing eye. She looked horrified. "Killian?" She asked in a strangled voice.

He couldn't seem to reply.

He tried to stand, but it was difficult without arms. What had happened?!

"You're reversed!"

Reversed? Like, what, legs and a squid body?

Bloody hell, that was EXACTLY what had happened, wasn't it?

Emma dissolved into hysterical laughter. "You look like a giant penis with legs!"

Made basic designs for the “inner circle” of marine reserve workers for the Shady Oaks Mer!au. Essentially, they’re the inner circle because they knew about Dan and Squid being merfolk first (Dan way before Squid.) These five are gonna have the biggest roles in the au. I know Ihascupquake wasn’t one of the founders, but she didn’t have much of a role in the actual SMP and was severely underrated, so I wanted to give her a more involved role in this.

(also kudos to @scoution for giving me the marine vet idea for Thnxcya!)

Justin is a childhood friend of Dan’s in the au. Justin was the first human friend he made (aside from Trayaraus, who found Dan) when he first shifted into human form and came onto land. They’ve been close ever since, even with Justin going off to do Coast Guard for a few years, and eventually met again when Justin came to work at the marine reserve, recommended by Dan himself.

James, or Thnxcya, affectionately nicknamed from how efficient his work was, is also an old friend of Justin’s and Dan’s. He may look unprofessional and shady, but he’s actually really good at his job.

Fish #2 yall

decided to make this a predominantly Shady Oaks SMP au but with elements of other things mcyt. I couldn’t not make Squid a merman, too. It’s like, in the name. Wanted to make him big too just to counteract against Dan’s size in merform.

essentially, Squid and Dan have a workplace rivalry that varies from being annoyingly petty in a humorous way to just full on arguing. Neither know that the other is a fellow mer yet, though.

I have had the Wicked movie soundtrack stuck in my head for the last 3 weeks every time I draw these two. They’re entirely Gelphie coded.

(Before they knew each other’s merman secret,) Essentially, on the more domestic side of the Mer!au, due to horrible construction, renovation, and unreasonable price hikes in the apartment complex Squid lived in, Squid was evicted. He had to stay night shifts at the Marine Reserve for at least a week just to have a place to sleep. He tried rooming with any of his other coworkers, only for all of them to (regretfully) not be able to house him for various reasons… and he had to room with the one guy he hates and that hates him. Squid was just a little too prideful to admit that he was evicted and was actually homeless right then and there. He made up some sort of jacked up lie that still convinced people he needed somewhere to stay without sacrificing his dignity.

Dan was against having Squid stay in his apartment at first, but eventually agreed after a little convincing from other coworkers. As much as they didn’t like each other, the rent was split and they both helped out around the place, which was nice.