#melrambles

don't get me wrong, he adores you, you're pretty much his biggest, and sometimes only, reason to live.

but he, out of all the characters in genshin, is the only one i can see with absolutely zero defined preferences. if anyone asked him, whether on his past or his present, about what traits he found desirable in a person, he would have no answer.

even if people say that personality is all that matters, everyone always looks at the one they find most attractive first.

xiao's case isn't quite like that.

where others, if speaking honestly, would mention specific ranges of height, build, hair colors, texture, skin colors and whatnot- like a super tall, muscular man with a well-kept beard, or a slender, elegant-looking man who wears suits, or a delicate and petite woman with big doe eyes and the longest, straighter hair possible, or a tall, well-endowed lady with a tiny waist and a piercing, alluring gaze, among an infinite number of other combinations, xiao would only tilt his head in disconcert.

was he supposed to think of any of those traits as attractive?

because to xiao, in a way, everyone looks the same.

be it humans, other adepti or the archons, xiao thinks nothing about any of their appearances.

although if you caught him people-watching during his free time or patrols, you could think he's harshly judging everyone's looks and demeanor from his unwavering, hawk-like gaze.

in truth, he takes in apperances all at once, in a fraction of a second.

woman of short hair. intact foreign green dress, according to the direction she's coming from she must be entering liyue from sumeru. no recent wounds in sight, her face is flushed from the heating sun. there is no trouble on this road. move on.

lanky man gasping for air as he reaches the peak of a mountain, adventurer's typical uniform. green eyes, black hair. the gloves on his hands ripped from climbing on stone, and his hands have minor scratches. the bandage on his arm is the work of an amateur but would've done the trick to stop bleeding. the cloth isn't soaked in blood, but he can make out the distinctive shape the blade of an arrow makes when nearly piercing flesh. whatever happened, this area is safe. send a minor breeze his way to lead him to a safe path.

the appearances of the people he sees every day are little clues that let him know of any immediate threat to the lands. he's not staring hard at that child because his haircut looks silly, but because for a second he saw a ghost following him. he's not staring at that woman with dulled out eyes because he finds her hot, but because he's feeling the beginnings of the effects of a karmic curse poisoning her soul.

xiao has no preferences, all he sees in people's apperances are traces of what they do and where they come from- he doesn't associate any specific trait of the human body to 'beautiful' or 'ugly'.

peace is beautiful. war is ugly. those are his only definitions.

it's only after you've spent long with him, letting him join you while you fulfill your duties in the city or just to take a stroll, that he starts to understand the concept of beauty as seen by human society.

differents sets of traits are deemed attractive to a majority and each individual will have a different set of traits they deem attractive- beauty is, therefore, in the eye of the beholder no matter how many times a standard is pushed as the only one.

he doesn't understand.

appearances will fade, that perfect and smooth skin will one day turn into fragile wrinkles, that tattoo won't look the same when enough time has passed, that hair will become frail and fall, humans won't look the same forever, there is no use in making such a big deal out of their appearances to the point of feeling miserable about it.

xiao doesn't find any particular trait as attractive.

until you.

due to his nature, he's not going to be immediately mesmerized by your looks, whether you seem overweight or like you have god-like symmetrical proportions everywhere, whether you're tall or average or tiny, none of that matters when he meets you or when he falls for you.

one would think an adeptus like himself would have high standards, but what makes him fall is something as painfully simple as honest, pure understanding and care.

be understanding to him, care for him, hold him on cold and dreary nights, smile for him, share little moments of joy with him, help him carry the weight of his constant grief, let him care for you, let him protect you, and protect his fragile heart.

he will fall for you.

and then, and only then, will he start associating physical traits to the concept of beauty.

beauty is you. you are beauty.

at least to xiao, that is the only logical conclusion.

whether you're confident on your looks or not, to him, it is that simple.

Thinking about what c!Dream said. Being reminded of what c!Dream was like before everything happened. Before c!Tommy joined the server. He really was a good person, he was happy. He loved his friends and he loved the world around him. C!Dream was a good guy, maybe he still is somewhere deep down. 

Also, Sam telling c!Dream that what he’s going through doesn’t compare to what he put c!Tommy through is a big nah. C!Dream was being tortured daily, trapped in a small cell being reminded of everything he’s done on a constant basis. What c!Tommy went through shouldn’t be compared to that. 

Listening to c!Dream during all three streams, you can HEAR the tone of his voice, he’s changed. He isn’t the same person he was before. He called himself out on doing bad things, he knows he’s done wrong. But Sam doesn’t see that, Sam just see’s the man they threw in the cell and not what he’s become. 

The way c!Dream stood silently as Sam called him out on what the prison was for. What he believes c!Dream built the prison for. But Sam built it to. He’s just as to blame. He went along with it, he created it. Could he have done otherwise? Probably, but he throws the blame on C!Dream. “You wanted to throw Tommy in here”. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t, c!Dream said nothing during that so it’s unclear. But c!Tommy did exactly that to him. And c!Dream has it worse off. Being tortured, being hurt. ((((But since it’s c!Tommy. It’s fine?))))