#may i repeat

Like it happened - like history has already recorded this moment in the books of time BUT I am unable to understand it fully to its greater power

1. Sam Ryan 😍😍😍😍😍

2. It was such a good idea. Already on season 3

Hey, anon :)

Thank you for the love! I'm glad you enjoy the content around here. And yes, you are correct, I am NOT an expert by any means. To comment on this situation is probably not overly appropriate, since I don't know anything about either of you or your relationship dynamics, so all I can really do is speak to how I feel about relationships with large age gaps like this in general. To give you my gut response.

When someone dates this far outside their age range, there is usually a reason, and it's not generally good. When you met him, he had nearly twice the life experience that you did. You were (and I don't mean to sound rude here) a child. At the age of 30, there is next to nothing I could see myself having in common (from a relationship perspective) with a junior in high school. I'm sorry. There just isn't. You have to ask yourself what a grown man is doing seeking a romantic partnership with someone so much younger than him. What does that say about him and his motivations?

Relationships like these, at their heart, create subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) power dynamics that foster inequality between the involved parties. Perhaps seeking out a partner much younger allows the older party to feel like they can exert more control, maybe they're emotionally immature and inexperienced, maybe they fear rejection by people their own age because they feel inadequate? Whatever the reason, from the outset of your relationship, you have been on unequal footing with your partner, whether you are aware of it or not.

Again, I don't know him or you, but in my mind? This kind of thing is a red flag of the DEEPEST colour when it comes to relationship dynamics. I apologize if this isn't what you were hoping to hear from me, but I wouldn't be so quick to ignore the opinions of others, especially if they are speaking to the relationship from more than a surface level (as I am). If these people offering you advice have witnessed behaviour that concerns them? It is worth taking a step back and assessing how you feel about that, and if there's any part of you that can identify with where they're coming from.

Once the cakes have been split and shared, the party starts to mellow down. Most of the kids head upstairs for a movie. Bianca and Lily Camryn retreat into Bee’s room. Aunt Poppi rounds up her family and they all bid their goodbyes, while the remaining adults take their conversation out to the deck.

Soon, the living space that was bustling mere hours ago is empty, with the exception of Casper and Rosie.

“How’s the cake?” Aunt Rosie asks.

Casper nods, poking at the remaining crumbs. “Good.”

“Good.”

Casper taps their foot against the leg of their stool. “Aunt Rosie?”

“What’s up, boo?”

Casper bites on their bottom lip. “…is my dad going to die?”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

Casper braces themselves for some weird talk, like the one they got the other day, about granny Cyn.

“…Yes, eventually,” Aunt Rosie finally says. “But not anytime soon, okay? Your side of the family has a habit of living for a long, long time.”

Casper looks up, and Aunt Rosie smiles. She knows Casper is always eager to learn more family lore. She leans in to whisper.

“If you happen to see your ancestor, Pippin, floating around sometime, ask her how long she lived for. It was for so long, even I don’t remember.”

Casper laughs. “But you’ve always said you have the memory of a goldfish!”

Aunt Rosie bursts out laughing. “All the more reason to ask her directly!”

Casper smiles. The rock that sunk into their stomach after talking to Willo shrinks to a pebble.  

“That makes me feel a lot better, Aunt Rosie.” Casper jumps off their stool and turns to the stairs. Maybe they can catch the beginnings of the movie still. “Thanks!”

(however, bit of a different story if they were being rude to the partner, this anon clearly said they’d be happy for them)

While I understand that feelings are valid and cannot be helped. There's a lot of naivety in that response. I get it. Dylan is hot. Dylan is wonderful. We all love him, that's why we're here. I just think that you need to find a way to find a balance and look at things from a realistic perspective. Letting the idea that a man you do not really know being in a relationship ruin your day and break your heart is just...kind of unreasonable, in my opinion.

Also... I just think the things being expressed on a forum where he is being tagged and @ mentioned to see it are just wildly inappropriate at times and do cross a line. If I was in his shoes, it would certainly make me uncomfortable at times.

I understand where you are coming from with your argument and I'm not saying that everyone should agree on this. I just really think it is healthier to detach yourself a little bit from that depth of emotion when it comes to a crush on a celebrity and that maybe sharing that opinion might help some people gain a wider perspective? I don't know. I certainly don't want people to think I'm judging them, because trust me... I understand the appeal and how people get so caught up on this guy. He's really got just about every admirable trait you could be looking for.

I think fandom is a lot of fun, and it's fun to meet people who share interest and have an appreciation for the same thing that you do, but I also think that it's REALLY important to have healthy boundaries. For yourself, mostly... but also because he deserves to have his boundaries respected as well.

I don't really want to invite much more of debate on this topic, so I won't be replying to further anons about this in particular, but my inbox is always open for discourse! I just hope we can all respect one another and just know that we're all unique and respond to things differently. Just make sure you are taking care of yourselves and be kind to each other. The world is full of too much nastiness and I don't want my blog to be in any way a part of that.

- Trashy