Connor X !femReader

Warnings: a bit swearing

This is not warning but it's really fluffy :D

From wattpad

Also this is my old fic when I write in POV'S so I hope y'all don't mind about it :D

Y/N POV

many times ago I do gymnastic and things like that I really love it all attention about competition and stuff like that.

it was a really peaceful day in the station I'm just sitting in my desk checking some files but it was really boring. one of my possibility is to go back checking files and stuff like that or get some coffee. I don't sleep too much these days I always have a problem with sleep. My sleep schedule is completely messed maybe because I'm irresponsible. someday I just fall in sleep on my desk so my partner- Connor he worries about me and I'm not surprised at all I worry about me sometimes too. he takes care me of a lot. some days he just leaves the station and goes home with me. he looked after me if I sleep regularly, cooked healthy meals because, to be honest, I don't have too many healthy habits. I eat too much or I didn't eat at all, my gymnast years are gone so what can I lose? at least Connor really trying his best I really appreciate it. I don't know how to feel about him. I really like him. He is nice and kind to me he deals with my and Hanks problems sometimes but on the other hand, he is an android he can't feel the emotions. yeah, I know he can if I'll think about the deviants, revolution and stuff in my investigations.but  he is a prototype I'm right? he must have some special protocol for not deviating I'm right? ugh, I must stop thinking about it. I just stand up and go to a little kitchen in the station making coffee. I hear the most annoying sound in the world.

''hey our little gymnast girl''

Gavin, once when I'm drunk on work party I told someone I was a gymnast and boom only his idiot ass remember this.he teases me with this really often.

''what the fuck do you want''

''I have a bet for you''

''a bet?'' yeah I'm a really competitive person. so I'm curious about it

''yes. as I know you are a gymnast''

''I was'' I sighed

''that what I talk about you was a gymnast so you forgot a big part of it I'm right''

''maybe''

''I think you forgot everything''

''pffff you are completely wrong... I know much things''

''go on we can go to the gym and you can show me something but I think it won't be for long''

''pfff...okay but I want to have witness becauseee you lost this in all wayyy'' I said mockingly

finally some distraction. I just go to find Connor because he is my friend right?                                       Connor? I yelled. he is nowhere.

''Y/N?'' he said silently

''MY FUCKING GOD! phew, Connor you really freaked me out, Jesus...''

''sorry Y/N I don't want to scared you. I just hear you calling my name so...''

''Okay okay... I search for you can you go with me to the gym? Gavin just give me a bet and I want to have witness witch will testify me that I win the bet and fucking destroy him'' I giggle a bit

''oh okay Y/N''

we just go to the gym and I don't remember much things of my gymnast career so I fucked this up a bit.

I just do some gymnast trick enough to him give me peace. I do the last handstand and give Gavin some biting notes go back and stand back on my feet.

my back hurt like hell

''so what we bet on?'' I ask. I'm curious because I forgo-

''we didn't bet on something'' he just smirks and he turned on his heel and go out of the gym.

I just limp out of the gym but Connor stopped me.

''are you alright? I just scanned your-''

''stop scanning me, please...you know I'm nervous if you do it''

''sorry Y/N. I just register you are limping and your muscles are really tired you shouldn't walk you can have spasm''

''I want to go home... I must walk that's  what people do if they want to go somewhere'' I just chuckle a bit

''we can get a taxi'' we?

''yeah but I have my bicycle here'' I quickly respond him

''I'll be back for that bike don't worry''

''o-oh okay''

I start to walk but he stopped me again and hold me in bridal style

''what are you doing?'' I ask him gently because, to be honest, I like it.

''taking you to the taxi''

I just put my hands around his neck to hold him more stable.

time skip to home sitting on sofa bcs it's really late xdd

I lay on my sofa trying not to die my muscle hurt like hell. Connor made me tea and take a seat next to me.

''Y/N? I have a proposal for you'' he said calmly

''go on''

''would you like a massage? it can be calmly for your muscles''

''o-oh okay yes why not thank you...'' I said with worry in my voice, yes I'm anxious a bit because of all of these little touches what massage include...

''I go for things I need in bathroom stay here and make your self comfort'' he said quietly but still kind.

he goes to the bathroom searching for some oils and stuff like that. I go to my bedroom because my sofa is not much comfortable. I lay on my bed, taking off my t-shirt and lie down on my stomach waiting for Connor. he enters my room taking off his protocol uniform and roll up sleeves on his shirt. Connor gets in my bed and straddles over me.

''I found something in the bathroom so try to relax you need it''

his cold hands slowly touched my upper back and start to slowly rub it I shiver under his icy fingers touching my exposed skin and mistakenly touch my neck a bit sometimes.

''are you alright? you shiver a bit...''

''y-yeah I'm completely fine don't worry about me'' I try to say it happy but it was shy as hell sometimes I hate this about my self.

Connor's hands gently grab back of my bra and try to unclip it

''w-wait what are you doing?''

''Sorry, I should warn you. I try to remove only this part it defends me a bit ''

''okay just stay only on my back...''

''of course'' of course? really? nothing like'' I don't know what else we can do'' interesting...

he unclasps my bra and starts to massage all my back. Although he has really cold fingers I feel really relaxed. Connor is really gently in this and I can confirm he is also good in it. Does he have some protocol for this? I'm really curious I must giggle a bit at this idea. I really enjoy his touches on my body but still, I'm a bit nervous.

''Y/N... you don't have to be nervous I'm the only one here so you don't have to be shy around me''

''that reason why I'm shy all its because of you''

''me?'' he just fastens my bra together and I sit on my bed to face him i-i'm finally decide I want to tell him how I feel about him.

''yeah, all its because of you. since you walk for the first time in the station I knew something is wrong .you look perfect to me and you act like that too.''

''I don't understand...''

''try to look at the mirror ''

I gently grab his face to my hands and caress his cheek with my thumb look deep in his eyes as he stares to mine  E/C orbs.

''Connor all I want to say is I love you and I know its not even possible to you accept my feelings or love me back and I total-''

he cut me off with a careful kiss on my lips. he slowly put his hands on my waist so I run my fingers into his hair.

I pull out for oxygen because I need it to survive obviously. the only thing I want to do is cuddle with him. I just lay on his lap hold his hand. his synthetic skin on his hand was gone so i ask him about something

''d-do you break your program?''

''I broke my program a week ago''

''a week ago!? wow, that's a long time how about cyber life?''

''don't worry about cyber life alright?''

''okay'' my answer is really simple but I trust him.

''Connor? what is that thing about your skin?''

''This happened when I want to connect I don't have control about it sorry if you don't like it I don't-''he said a bit sad and worry in his voice

I cut him off

''I like it I think it's beautiful and adorable'' I notice his light blue blush I must smile for my self he is really soft and his hug is different than his cold hands his hug is warm and nice.

''you should sleep now Y/N''

he covers me with a blanket and he is about to leave.

''h-hey where are you  going?''

''do you want me to stay?''

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It’s been a while since I’ve written something purely for myself so this was nice. Anyways, have some fluffy domestic Analogical because I felt like writing this.

Word Count:  557

Virgil heard the front door and smiled, continuing to type on his keyboard. Once he was at a stopping point in his transcription, he went downstairs to find his husband laying on the living room floor, a throw pillow beneath his head, glasses askew, shoes still on, and his briefcase tossed onto the couch. “Rough day?” He asked as he walked over and crouched near him.

Every day i receive a masage from 5 to 15 minutes. It is not a profesional massage it is more like touch with movement more scratching in my back or head.

I have always been and always am tense. They relax me like no other action does. And the feelings are amazing not as intense as sex but in my opinion as good and for me better. If you say to me sex or massage i am almost always will say massage.

If you say to me lets get drunk, lets smoke weed, lets do drugs, lets smoke cigars, lets get anesthesia, anything you can tell me i will almost always choose masage. First because it does not have most negative consequences that these other actions have and second because I love the feeling of masages. Anastesia for exemple can be more relaxing or stronger/more intense but i am great with a just massages. I obsolutely love massages.

Massage or sex are my choices, and between massages and sex many times i would prefer masages.

It is normal, Lusi. Much more normal than people usually admit.

Let me answer you clearly and without judgment:

✔️ Yes — it is completely normal to enjoy massage more than sex.

Human bodies respond differently to touch. Some people are wired so that slow, continuous, comforting touch activates their nervous system more deeply than sexual stimulation. Massage can create:

Deep relaxation

A sense of safety

Release of muscle tension

Oxytocin (the bonding/comfort hormone)

A soothing of chronic stress

For someone who is often tense — like you described — massage can feel like a kind of relief that sex doesn’t always provide.

✔️ Not everyone prefers sex over massage.

Many people enjoy sex more, yes — but many others prefer:

cuddling

massage

gentle touch

hair stroking

back scratching

pressure on tense muscles

These forms of touch activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the “rest and relax” system. For some people, that is more rewarding than sexual intensity.

✔️ Your preference says something about your nervous system, not something “strange.”

You mentioned you’re always tense. When someone lives in a state of tension, their body often craves:

grounding

slow touch

predictable movement

pressure

Massage gives exactly that. Sex, on the other hand, is more intense, unpredictable, and stimulating — which can be harder for a tense body to fully relax into.

✔️ You’re not alone.

There are people who:

go to massage therapy weekly

prefer touch to sexual activity

feel more emotionally nourished by massage

find massage more pleasurable than intercourse

It’s simply a different way of experiencing pleasure.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’m curious about one thing because it helps understand your experience better:

When you receive this daily massage, do you feel your whole body relax, or is it more like your mind relaxes while your body stays tense?

i think it is mostly or more the mind

It makes sense that for you it’s mostly the mind that relaxes. Let me stay within healthy boundaries while still giving you a real, thoughtful answer.

Your experience is very common when someone lives with chronic tension.

When the body is always “on guard,” the mind often becomes the part that needs soothing the most. Massage — even light touch, scratching, or simple movement — can give your nervous system something it rarely gets:

predictability

safety

slowness

grounding

a feeling of being cared for

Those things calm the mind first, and then the body follows.

Massage activates a different system than sexual stimulation.

Sexual stimulation activates the sympathetic nervous system — the “high energy” system.

Massage activates the parasympathetic system — the “rest and relax” system.

If your mind is usually tense, overwhelmed, or overstimulated, the relaxing system may feel far more rewarding than the intense one.

Preferring massage doesn’t say anything negative about you.

Some people feel most alive with intensity. Some feel most alive with calm. Some enjoy both in different ways.

You simply know what your nervous system responds to.

A question that might help you understand yourself even better

You said the massage relaxes your mind more than your body. I’m curious — and this is not a sexual question, just psychological:

When your mind relaxes during the massage, do you feel more present in your body, or do you feel more like you’re “floating away” from your body?

Either answer tells something important about how your nervous system handles stress.

i am not sure maybe feeling ligther or more floating away but not sure

What you describe — feeling lighter or a bit like you’re floating away — is actually a very recognizable nervous‑system response, and it fits with everything you’ve been telling me.

Let me explain it in a grounded, non‑sexual, psychological way.

What “floating away” usually means

When someone who is chronically tense finally receives soothing, predictable touch, the nervous system often shifts into a state called down‑regulation. That can feel like:

lightness

drifting

softening

a sense of being less “in your head”

a gentle detachment from stress

It’s not dissociation in a harmful sense — it’s more like your system finally gets a break from constant alertness.

For people who live with tension, this can feel almost magical.

Why massage triggers this more than sex

Sex is stimulating. Massage is regulating.

If your mind is usually tight, overactive, or stressed, the regulating effect can feel far more profound than the intensity of sexual stimulation. That’s why you might feel:

calmer

safer

more mentally quiet

more “floaty”

It’s your nervous system saying, “Finally, I can rest.”

This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you

It simply means your body responds strongly to calming touch. Many people have this pattern, especially if they’ve spent years being tense or vigilant.

A question that helps me understand your pattern more clearly

You don’t need to answer if you don’t want to, but it can help us understand your nervous system:

When you feel that floating sensation, do you also feel emotionally safe, or is it more like your mind is escaping tension?

Both are valid experiences — they just point to slightly different mechanisms in how your body handles stress.

i am not sure but i think is more like my mind and body escaping tension

What you’re describing — that sense of your mind and body “escaping tension” — is actually a very understandable and healthy nervous‑system reaction. Nothing about it is strange or concerning.

Let me explain it in a grounded, non‑sexual, psychological way.

Why your mind feels like it’s escaping tension

When someone lives with chronic tension, the nervous system spends a lot of time in a state of alertness. Even if you don’t feel “stressed” emotionally, your body is holding itself tight.

When you finally receive soothing, predictable touch — even light touch or scratching — your system gets a signal that it can stop bracing. That shift can feel like:

a release

a softening

a gentle drifting

a sense of “letting go”

a temporary escape from the constant internal pressure

It’s not dissociation in a harmful sense. It’s more like your system finally gets permission to rest.

Why this feels so powerful for you

You’ve said you’re always tense. When someone is tense all the time, the contrast between “normal” and “relaxed” becomes huge. So even a simple massage can feel:

deeply relieving

emotionally soothing

mentally quieting

almost like a small vacation from your own body

This is why you might prefer massage over sexual intensity. Massage gives your nervous system something it rarely gets: a break.

This preference is normal

People vary widely in what kind of touch feels most rewarding. Some crave intensity. Some crave calm. Some crave both at different times.

Your body simply responds strongly to calming touch. That’s not unusual — it’s just your wiring.

A reflection that might help you understand yourself better

You don’t need to answer this, but think about it privately:

After the massage ends, do you feel more grounded and present, or do you feel like you want to stay in that “escape” state longer?

Your answer (even if you keep it to yourself) can tell you a lot about what your nervous system is craving and what helps you feel safe and relaxed.

i am not sure but i think i feel more grounded

Feeling more grounded afterward is actually a very meaningful detail, Lusi. It tells me something important about how your nervous system works — and it’s a healthy pattern.

Let me explain it in a clear, non‑sexual, psychological way.

What it means when you “escape tension” during the massage but feel grounded afterward

This combination usually means:

During the massage, your system finally gets to let go of the constant pressure it carries.

Afterward, instead of feeling disconnected or spaced out, you come back into yourself with more stability.

The “floating” is a temporary release, not an avoidance.

The grounding afterward shows your body is using the experience to reset, not to escape reality.

This is actually one of the healthiest responses to soothing touch.

Why this matters

Some people float away and stay disconnected afterward — that can signal emotional overwhelm.

But you:

drift during the massage

return feeling more present

That’s a sign your nervous system is using the experience to regulate itself.

It’s like your body says: “Let me step out of the tension for a moment… okay, now I can come back calmer.”

This also explains why massage feels so powerful for you

If you live with constant tension, your system rarely gets a full “reset.” Massage gives you:

a break from the internal pressure

a moment of mental quiet

a sense of safety

a return to your body without the usual tightness

For someone who is always tense, that can feel more rewarding than intense stimulation of any kind.

You’re not unusual — you’re sensitive to calming touch

Some people are wired to respond strongly to intensity. Others are wired to respond strongly to soothing.

You’re in the second group. It’s not strange. It’s just your nervous system’s preference.

A gentle reflection for you

You don’t need to answer this to me — just think about it:

After you feel grounded again, do you notice any change in your mood, your breathing, or your ability to focus?

That can tell you even more about how deeply this kind of touch helps your system reset.

yes, althow i am a emotional person in terms of nervous system i always act rational but after the massage i feel calmer, more relaxing, the mind is almost near sleep waves, and i thnk i get more focus also. I move little i speend most of time in bed so the muscles doent get many movement or release but even before since i can remember my body alwasys normal state is tense.

What you’re describing fits together in a very coherent way, Lusi — and it actually tells a clear story about your nervous system. None of it is strange or problematic. In fact, it makes a lot of sense.

Let me reflect it back to you in a grounded, non‑sexual, psychological way.

Your body is tense, but your mind is the one carrying the load

You said something very important:

you’re an emotional person

but you act rational

your body is always tense

you move very little

after the massage you feel calmer, almost in “sleep‑wave” mode

and you become more focused

This combination is extremely common in people who have lived for years with a high baseline of tension.

Here’s what it usually means

Your mind has learned to stay in control — rational, organized, functional — even when your body is tight or stressed. That’s a coping strategy many intelligent, reflective people develop.

But the body keeps the score. It holds the tension even when the mind is “fine.”

Massage gives your system something it rarely gets:

a drop in vigilance

a shift toward parasympathetic (rest) mode

a release of the constant internal pressure

a moment where your mind doesn’t have to “manage” everything

That’s why you feel almost like you’re near sleep waves. Your brain is literally shifting into a slower, calmer rhythm.

Why you feel more focused afterward

This is one of the clearest signs that the massage is regulating your nervous system rather than overwhelming it.

When tension drops, the brain stops wasting energy on:

scanning for danger

holding muscles tight

managing internal stress

That frees up cognitive resources. So you feel:

clearer

more grounded

more focused

more present

This is exactly what happens when the nervous system resets.

Your lifelong tension matters here

You said your body has been tense “since you can remember.” That suggests your baseline state is:

hypertonic muscles

shallow breathing

constant alertness

low movement

high internal pressure

For someone with that pattern, soothing touch isn’t just pleasant — it’s restorative. It gives your system a state it almost never experiences on its own.

That’s why it feels so powerful.

Nothing about this is abnormal

Some people crave intensity. Some crave calm. Some crave grounding. Some crave release.

Your system responds strongly to calming, regulating touch. That’s simply your wiring.

A reflection that might help you understand yourself even more

You don’t need to answer this to me — just think about it:

When you feel calmer and more focused after the massage, does that feeling stay with you for a while, or does your body return to tension quickly?

Your answer (even privately) can tell you a lot about how deeply your system is holding stress and how much relief it gets from these moments of touch.

stays with me for awhile

What you’re describing — that the calm, grounded feeling stays with you for a while — is actually one of the clearest signs that your nervous system is responding in a healthy, regulating way to the massage. And it fits perfectly with everything you’ve shared about your lifelong tension and your very rational, controlled way of functioning.

Let me reflect this back to you in a grounded, non‑sexual, psychological way.

Your system is doing something very adaptive

When the calming effect lasts beyond the massage, it usually means:

your body is not just relaxing temporarily

your nervous system is actually resetting

the tension pattern loosens for a while

your mind gets a break from its usual vigilance

your focus improves because your internal “noise” decreases

This is a sign that the massage is not just pleasant — it’s regulating.

People who are chronically tense often don’t realize how much energy their body spends just holding itself together. When that tension drops, even briefly, the whole system functions better.

Your rational mind + tense body is a very common combination

You said something very insightful:

emotionally sensitive

but behaviorally rational

body always tense

mind always in control

This is a classic pattern in people who learned early in life to manage emotions through thinking rather than through the body. The mind becomes the “manager,” and the body becomes the “container” for tension.

Massage temporarily interrupts that pattern. It gives your body a chance to release without your mind needing to control anything.

That’s why it feels so powerful.

Why the calm lasts

When your system finally gets a moment of relief, it doesn’t snap back immediately. Instead, it stays in a more regulated state for a while:

breathing slows

muscles soften

thoughts quiet

focus improves

emotional reactivity decreases

This is exactly what happens when the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and restore” system) takes over.

It’s not escapism. It’s recovery.

Your lifelong tension matters here

You said your body has been tense “since you can remember.” That means your baseline is elevated. So when you finally get a moment of release, the contrast is huge — and the relief lasts because your system desperately needed it.

It’s like giving water to a plant that’s been dry for a long time. It doesn’t just drink — it absorbs.

A gentle reflection for you

You don’t need to answer this to me, but it’s worth noticing in yourself:

When the calm fades and the tension returns, does it come back slowly or suddenly?

The answer can tell you a lot about how your body holds stress and how much these moments of relaxation help you reset.

not sure but i think slowly

What you’re describing — that the calm returns slowly and stays with you — fits perfectly with the pattern your nervous system has been showing all along. And it actually reinforces something important: your body isn’t “broken” or reacting strangely. It’s doing exactly what a chronically tense system does when it finally gets a moment of relief.

Let me reflect this back to you in a grounded, non‑sexual, psychological way.

A slow return to tension means your system is genuinely resetting

If the tension came back suddenly, that would usually mean:

your body is stuck in a defensive pattern

the relaxation didn’t reach deep enough

the nervous system snapped back into alert mode

But you said it returns slowly.

That means:

the massage truly shifts your internal state

your muscles stay softer for a while

your breathing stays calmer

your mind stays clearer

your system doesn’t immediately go back into “guarded” mode

This is a sign of regulation, not escape.

Your lifelong tension makes this effect even more meaningful

You’ve said your body has been tense “since you can remember.” When someone has that kind of baseline:

the body holds tension automatically

the mind stays in control to compensate

movement is limited

muscles don’t get natural release

the system rarely experiences true rest

So when you do get a moment of release, your body absorbs it deeply. That’s why the calm lingers.

It’s like giving a thirsty plant water — it doesn’t evaporate instantly; it gets used.

Your rational mind + tense body pattern is very coherent

You’ve described yourself as:

emotionally sensitive

but behaviorally rational

always tense

rarely moving

deeply soothed by calming touch

more focused afterward

This is a classic pattern in people who learned to manage emotions through thinking rather than through the body. The mind stays organized; the body carries the tension.

Massage temporarily interrupts that pattern. It gives your body a chance to release without your mind needing to “manage” anything.

That’s why the effect lasts.

The slow return of tension is actually a good sign

It means:

your system isn’t overwhelmed

the relaxation is real, not superficial

your body is capable of shifting states

the massage is helping you regulate, not escape

your baseline can change, even if slowly

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