#marvell

He feels your arms carefully wrap around him, his chest shuddering as he lets himself reach for you. You stand and wrap yourself around him, holding him tightly against your chest. The tears keep coming, something broken open inside him, the need to let these tears fall. How often had he held onto tears, emotions, locking them carefully behind doors. So many doors, layers upon layers of doors in endless hallways. It’s not just him releasing these feelings, but the Soldier. He’s finally free from the maze, from being trapped. Allowed to feel small comforts and hold onto this woman who wants to be with him. 

You. Doc. His. 

Leaning back, he wipes at his eyes. You grab tissues and hand them to him. He takes them, wiping his face and blowing his nose. You do the same, eyes red-rimmed, trying to force a smile onto your face. 

Bits and pieces of memories float in. The two of you lying side by side in bed, talking into the early hours of the morning. Watching you race to them and cut Steve free. Seeing you bleeding and bloody. How you took your time to get to know him, stood up for him when others wouldn’t. 

“I know you,” Bucky rasps, reaching up to wipe a stray tear you had missed. “It’s here.” He points to his mind. “S’Fuzzy.”

You try to smile, dabbing at your eyes, “It’s going to take time. Weren’t sure how much you’d remember.”

“I remember being inside my mind,” Bucky continues, letting himself talk to you. He trusted you; it was on instinct. His mind hadn’t remembered everything, but his body knew. “The Soldier, he’s not trapped anymore. No more mazes and doors.”

You nod, “We wondered if that would be the case.” Your thumb rubs against your lip as you think. “There is something called anesthesia awareness. Your mind was still awake; we could see it as we monitored you. There was a chance that you’d remember what was going on. It’s good that he’s not trapped anymore, means your mind is healing, and your memory will come back.”

“Just takes time?” Bucky asks; he knew there was something missing, pieces that were just out of reach. Time he had spent with you that he desperately wanted to get back.

“You got time; can take as much as we need.” You reach out to touch him, but stop and pull back. 

Not letting his mind get the better of him, he reaches for your hand to hold it again. You squeeze his. There had been a time when he didn’t want to be touched and didn’t allow anyone to touch him. Nevertheless, being touched by you was okay. Instinctively, he wanted that. Wanted to be closer. 

There was a knock that had both of you turning. A man stood there with a small smile, two trays of food in hand. 

“Hey, Kona,” You reply, a stand over to the bed. “You can put the food here. Thank you for bringing it.”

Something twists in Bucky’s stomach; you knew this man, Kona. Seemed friendly with him, was he a nurse? Someone you worked with? Bucky tries to not let it bother him, the urge to tell him to leave making his mouth go dry.

Kona puts the tray down on the stand. “How are you doing, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, just watches him, the man nods his head, mouth thinning. He looks towards you, waiting for an answer. Bucky bristles, doing his best not to say something stupid.

“We’re okay, Kona.” You say, reaching back for Bucky’s hand. He takes it and has to stop himself from pulling you closer to him.

“I’ll check in with both of you later tonight.” Kona gives a small wave before leaving. 

Bucky watches him leave, the twist in his stomach relaxing as the man leaves. Looking towards you, he finds you looking at him, eyebrows up. 

“You okay?” Bucky looks away, feeling his face heat up. “James?”

“Who is that?” 

He carefully looks back at you, watching chuckle a little, sucking at your lip.

“That’s Kona, a nurse. Who did you think it was?”

Bucky shrugs, not sure why he had that reaction. It wasn’t like he could stake a claim on you, he wasn’t even sure if the two of you were anything more than friends. 

The hand that isn’t holding his carefully touches his cheek; your eyes glint with amusement. “Kona is a friend. That’s all.”

He hates how his shoulder relaxes at those words, that his stomach stops lurching. That jealousy had overtaken him so easily.

“James, what do you remember about us?”

Us. 

It felt like a loaded word. Us could mean friends, or coworkers, or something. The memories seemed intimate, more than just friends, more than just two people who knew each other. He won’t be reacting like this if you and him weren’t something closer. 

“We are together?”

“Yeah, we are. Little a-typical. But we’ve been together for a while.”

“I am remembering things, fragments.” Pausing, he looks towards the door. “I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“It’s okay, you just woke; your mind is hazy. Perfectly normal to react on instinct.” You kiss his knuckles. “But I only want you, just you.”

The words hit him harder than he thought possible. It cracked him open, emotions spilling out unchecked. Everything you said he believed, no hesitation, no wonder. He just knew. This wasn't something that would just happen; he didn't let people close to him. Yet, here you were, breaking every barrier he had ever put up. 

“You should eat,” You reply, dragging the tray over. Carefully sitting down and opening up the tray.“ It’s just soup to start, and some kind of nutrient shake.”

Bucky takes it without much word. The soup smells good, but the nutrient shake makes his stomach turn. Flashes of being force-fed something eerily similar make it not palatable. 

“Just eat what you can, we got you on an IV drip as well. As long as you get something down, that’s what matters.” You grab the shake without him having to say anything, moving it over to sit on a side table.

The next few days go by similarly, you’re always there, aside from the times you go for physical therapy. Sitting beside him, talking to him about the latest news, what is going on outside the small room. A small cot had been rolled in so that you could sleep near him. Claiming you were tired of sleeping in an empty room. It comforted him knowing that you’d be there, that every time he opened his eyes, you would be within reach.

Bucky’s memory is still hazy, bits and pieces slide in. What he remembers the most is the maze, doors, his younger self. Though it feels more and more like it’s him and not someone else. They were the same person, it was a strange realization. For so long he had unintentionally kept those parts of himself separated. Wanting to leave what the Winter Soldier had done behind him. At the same time, the Winter Soldier was him, it was done by him under mind control. It felt almost silly to say it out loud, but he’d seen it himself. Seen what they had done to him, what he had went through, over and over again. 

“You okay?” Your voice cuts through the fog as you slide him over some yogurt and crushed bananas. 

Bucky swallows, “Thinking.”

Your shoulders sag, but you nod. The two of you are quietly eating. It bothers him how you hold back, he can tell that before your relationship with him had been more physical. You often stopped yourself from reaching for him. Didn’t push when he didn’t want to talk about things. Instead, you let him guide, let him lead the things. He still felt the sadness that you couldn’t completely hide. 

“I am sorry,” Bucky whispers, putting down his spoon and reaching for your hand. He had to constantly remind himself that he was allowed to touch you, to be near you. That you wanted to be here.

Blinking a few times, you squeeze his hand. You place your own food on the tray and move it away. “You have nothing to be sorry for, James.”

He shakes his head, swallowing down the emotions that well in his chest. “You’re sad. Because I don’t remember. I don’t remember us.”

You bite your lip, shaking your head, and sliding closer to him. “I am a little sad. Doesn’t mean I am not going to be here. I knew what I signed up for. Even if it's upsetting.”

Bucky looks down at where your hands are joined. “Why?”

A small huff leaves you, “Cause you’re my person, the man I fell in love with.” You try to give him a small smile. “Even if you never remember what we had, that’s okay. We can make new memories, get to know one another again.” Squeezing his hand, you pause for a moment. “We have been through so much together. So much horror and terror. Been so close to losing one another over and over again. But I won’t trade that for anything.”

Nodding, he feels his words slip away from him. How does he express how he feels? He can feel that connection, but it’s just out of his grasp. He wanted to fix this, to remember, to understand everything. Not just the glimpse and flicker of a relationship that just remained under the surface.

“Can I hold you?” You ask quietly, clearly seeing his distress. “Only if you want to.”

“Yes, please.” Bucky’s voice barely comes out, not entirely sure what is going to happen.

You climb in gently beside him and pull him to lie on your chest, filling his senses with your smell. Fresh fruit, linen, and something he knows as you. The way he’s missed you suddenly rips at him, making him hold you as close as possible. Flashes of memories flutter in his mind, the two of you looking out over expanses of mountains. The way you’d hold his hand when you’d walk in public. The night you’d come to him without having to be asked twice. More of it starts to filter in, there were so many memories. The last couple of years had been spent wrapped around each other. 

Everything narrows down to just you and Bucky, the way his hand finds your waist. The steady beat of your heart, how your breath slows as you relax against the bedding. Comfortable. Safe. Something neither of you had been granted in so long. It had been so long, and now you were right here. 

More tears fell, hot and steady onto your shirt. Your hand was carefully rubbing circles along his ribs. The other carding up into his hair, nothing said, just being there. That’s what you did: you showed up, pressed on, kept going despite everything. There had been so much that you’d both endured. The two of you had fought to be here, to get better. Bucky had been reunited with a part of himself that had been created to protect his own mind. The Soldier, a broken young man who had been locked inside a never-ending maze. 

‘Not anymore,’ A distant voice echoes inside his head. 

They were one again, not separate entities, but one complete person. With all of the memories, some of the darkest ones that had lain hidden so deep they had almost vanished. It was terrifying, and exactly what was needed. Now it was time to let his mind come back together. Cryo had scrambled things, but he could feel it starting to come back together. You holding onto him made that so clear. It helped solidify what his unconscious already knew. 

Bucky whispered your name as you grabbed some tissue to hand to him. “I missed you.”

You kiss the top of his head. “I missed you too. You tell me if this is too much, okay?”

He wipes away the mess on his face. “Being close to you helps.”

“Okay. Still, your comfort comes first.” You affirm, pressing him against you. “I did miss this.”

Your free hand runs over your knee, a gesture he remembered. Carefully, he placed his hand onto it, feeling the small ridge from the stab wound and a few new ones. His fingers carefully circle it a few times, grounding himself as he feels you let out a sigh. Your fingers find the top of his head again, carefully scratching at his scalp. 

“Your knee is better?” Bucky remembers you being in a brace, being in pain. It had never healed right, but now here you were, braceless. 

“It’s a lot better. No pain meds, just a lot of PT,” Bucky’s felt his body start to relax, your voice soothing his frazzled brain. “Soon I won’t need crutches anymore, be like it didn’t happen.”

Bucky swallows, trying to find his voice. “That’s really good. You were worried about surgery, being immobile.”

“I was. Steve had to convince me to go. Said he was going to wake you up so that I would stop worrying.” You tease, your fingers continuing to card through his hair.

Bucky sits up, turning to you, letting the words settle in. “You wanted to wait for me?”

You smile and nod, “Kind of attached to you, if you haven’t noticed.” 

“Kinda?” Bucky teases, feeling himself take his first real breath in a long time. This was where he was supposed to be; this felt right, in ways nothing had in so long.

“Really attached. Didn't want to leave your side. Had to watch your surgery, make sure you got through it. Been a long seven weeks.” Both of you were leaning against the pillows.

Bucky pulls you against him this time, watching tears form as your voice wavers. He reaches up and wipes at your tears. A gesture that feels way too small. You had held everything together, fought for him to be seen, to be helped, despite him not wanting the help. All of this, even when it effected you own health and wellbeing. 

Memories of you sitting in a small room, covered floor to ceiling in notes. Endless files, videos, recordings, anything you could get your hands on. Working on it until you knew his brain better than he did. To the point you knew that Wanda wouldn't be able to work past it, not without breaking him further. Only to have T’Challa land in front of you. That had just happened. Two people and impossible situations.

“We made it,” Bucky chokes out, cupping your face to kiss you gently. You lean into it, holding onto one another like the world outside was ending. “Me and you.”

A small, hiccuping sob leaves you as you lean your forehead against his. “I thought I lost you. That you had reverted, or forgotten who I was.”

He shakes his head, kissing your nose. “It’s coming back. I know you’re my whole world, I can feel it. Even the Soldier knew it.”

“He did? He knew who I was?” You sound astonished that it was even possible.

“Yeah, he did.” Bucky remembers how the younger man had reacted to hearing about Ultron. “Seemed protective of you. Did not like Ultron at all.” Bucky let a small smirk slip, watching you compose yourself. 

“Did you talk to him?” 

“More talked at him,” Bucky sighs, thinking about it. “He wasn't exactly chatty.”

A big smile graces your face, making him brighten. He could see your interest in this; no matter what had happened, this was what you loved learning. You were a doctor at your core. It was part of the reason he loved you.

“I remember someone else not being very chatty either.” You nudge him, making his cheeks flush. “Is it weird that I would have liked to meet him? Like he is you, and you him, but not?”

Bucky thought about that. It had been strange to be there; to talk with him and experience everything. It was hard to think of him as a separate entity, to still put that space between himself and the actions. Now that he was out, they weren’t separate anymore. They were the same person.

“S’not weird. Unreal that I was there. How many people get to say they’ve seen inside their own mind?” Bucky sighs, rubbing up and down your arm. “I know he liked you; not sure how much you would have gotten out of him. Though if there was anyone, it would be you.” 

“I am just happy to have you. That you remember us. I meant what I said; I would still be here even if you didn’t remember.” You leaned up and kissed him again. “The parts about the maze are just extra.”

“It’s more like a dream; I know it was real, but I think that’s because I had been there before with Wanda. The place was familiar. But this time, I could actually talk with the Soldier. He could see me and hear me.”

“That’s very interesting. I wonder if it’s because of how you were put under. Still being somewhat conscious gave you the possibility to meet him. This is just a theory I have; I don’t fully understand it all. The team is analyzing all the data we’ve gathered over the last seven weeks. They will be able to explain it more than I can.”

“I knew when I went further under, everything stopped. I have no memories until I was woken up here.” 

“There was a difficulty with two words. No matter what they did, your mind was fighting back against it. Shuri debated about it for a week. Talked to every expert in the world. She wouldn’t have taken the risk unless she knew it was going to work.”

“Did it?”

You look towards the door, your eyes clouding over, and you rub at your nose. “From the tests that were run, yes. There will be more, something a little unconventional. It’s more traditional practices than purely scientific.”

“Long as I have you. I don’t care.” Bucky leans against you, never wanting to let you go. “You going to stay with me?” 

“If you’ll have me, yes.”

No one wakes either of you. Your stomach protesting is what finally rouses you from sleep. Actual sleep. You hadn’t actually felt rested like this in a long time. Shifting a little, James grumbles in his sleep, pulling you, one-armed, to press closer to him. A small giggle escapes you; he’d slept too. No nightmares or fits, just rest. For a moment, you relish it. Peace. It would only be a moment; then reality would set in. Your lives would once again be turned upside down. Yesterday had been a huge step, him wanting to be close to you. Remembering the relationship you had both had and have. 

Looking down, you take him in. James’ eyelashes are so long, small freckles dot his cheeks, the light makes him look peaceful. His hair is long, lying messily around him. The deep brown strands are dotted with small flecks of grey and white. Creases on the corners of his eyes and forehead are just showing, proof that he aged, even if it was much slower than everyone else. 

You try to capture this in your mind as best you can. Hoping to lock it away and hold on to it. Tears spring at the corners of your eyes; you close them tightly, pushing them back. There was so much to take in, to understand, to do.

Not yet. 

Taking a small breath, you squeezed him against you. Just a few more minutes. Leaning down, you breathe him in. You had never taken him for granted or underestimated just how fragile this relationship was. All of this, you would hold onto him for as long as you could. Knowing that at any moment it could get ripped from your grasp. It almost was.

He yawns, eyes blinking for a moment, as blue eyes focus on you. You snort and boop his nose. James’ brows scrunch as he stretches out. His arm pulls you close to him, grumbling about wanting more sleep. Groaning, you grumble about being hungry, which has him opening his mouth to nibble on the skin near your neck. The two of you teasing the other until someone clears their throat. 

Looking up, you see Shuri standing in the doorway, Sam beside him. “Hello, you two. Glad you're awake.”

Bucky’s face flushes as he keeps you tucked against his side. “Morning, Shuri, Sam.”

Sam comes in with his usual crooked smile, “It’s afternoon; thought you’d slept for seven weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah, what have you been doing? Sipping mimosas in Sicily?” Bucky jabs back as you carefully slip out of bed. The banter does your heart good, it shows that his mind was healing. James was resilient in so many ways. 

Going over to Shuri, she watches you walk, noticing your lack of brace or limp. “Hey, Shuri. How are you?”

“Doing well now that I see you both up.” She smiles, a tablet in her hands. “Your knee seems to be healing well. How is Bucky doing? Seems like he’s remembering more and more.”

You glance behind him, watching him and Sam talk back and forth. “Good, memories seem to be coming back, not as confused as before. Going to take time, some healing; I know Ayo has plans for him.”

“That will come later. For now, normalcy is key, making sure he comes back. Then we can focus on the next steps,” She gives you a reassuring smile. “Not to mention you also have to heal.”

“I could use some normalcy, some rest, real rest,” You say, smiling as Bucky and Sam bicker. “Just happy he knows who I am again. Thought that it might be gone.”

Shuri pats your shoulder. “The next step will be the last one. It’s going to be hard, but I believe in both of you.” 

The place feels full; laughter drifts around the makeshift yard. Chairs had been pulled around a large fire pit that Bucky and Sam had hesitantly set up. A cooking spot was erected closer to the house. Chickens run back and forth, one tucked underneath Tony’s arm, happily clucking. Clint and Natasha were currently playing some lawn game with hoops. Goats and cows call out a little further away. Pietro stands talking with one of the neighbours, making your heart hurt. Wanda was still MIA, and her sibling was missing her something fierce. Pepper comes over with a glass in hand, a small smile on her face. 

“You throw quite the party, Doc,” Pepper says as she stands beside you. Bucky and Steve sit eating something off the grill while Sam mans it, talking loud enough for everyone to hear. 

The man had drawn a crowd of neighbours and friends to him, Sam was magnetic. He had proclaimed himself the grill master and would smack anyone who would get too close to the piece of metal. James and Steve had, of course, moaned about it being subpar. Which just made Sam double down. 

“Not just me, couldn’t have done it without everyone,” You reply as you sip your own drink. A fruity punch that T’Challa had brought over. You were trying to be the designated human, making sure no one wandered off into a lake or chicken coop. 

“How are you enjoying rural living?” She asks, both of you moving to some chairs near the fire. 

You have to ponder that for a moment. It had been ten days since James had come out of the hospital. He’d been doing well, enough that Steve and Tony had decided a little get-together was needed. Shuri and Ayo had wanted you and Bucky out of the city, somewhere quiet to rest and recoup. There would still be weekly check-ins and appointments, but for now your focus was healing. 

James’ memory was still blurry around the edges; he was jumpy, nightmares still plagued him more than before. It bothered you more than you wanted to let on. You were trying so hard to give him the space he needed, to avoid overstepping. Letting him know before touching him, sleeping in an empty bed on nights that James couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t the same as when you had first met. He had memories, but that over part of him, the Soldier, was now here. It was evident in the way he moved and the way he checked around the hut at night. How carefully he watched the chickens, his shoulders so tight. 

At the same time, you hesitated to tell anyone that. It felt too private. Something that you both had to work out together.

“It’s quiet. Really quiet. Didn’t think I would miss the noise of the city.” You reply, not giving the raw truth, but a truth nonetheless. Pepper watches you carefully; she was always scarily good at reading people. “I miss the tower, the community, and people. Also the access to delivered food.”

Pepper laughs at that, her eyes crinkling. “I am going to have to let Tony know. He’s got it in his head that he wants to ‘settle down’ somewhere quiet. Remote. Like he did well in his cabin.”

“It’s a big change, but it grows on you,” You say, watching Tony hold onto the chicken, whispering to her. “He seems really taken with the chickens.” 

“If I am not careful, he will smuggle that chicken back home. Have her clucking around the condo, laying eggs in my plants,” She says easily. “How are you, though? I know Bucky is who people were worried about, but take it from someone who knows, it’s a lot to bear on your own.” 

Worrying at your lip, you try to find the words to explain what was going on. “I don’t know.” A small huff leaves you; Pepper lets you mull it over. “Things aren’t what they were, and I don’t think they ever will be. Part of him came back, a part that had been separated for a long time. It’s like we are both walking this wire, but we forgot that we are both on it.” You pause, having to try and hold back your emotions. “I keep waiting for things to come back together. At the same time, waiting for something that will tear us apart again. A vicious never-ending circle I can’t get out of.” 

Pepper crosses her legs, shifting in the chair, her eyes finding Tony and T’Challa talking. “You can’t expect yourself to get out of it.” You look at her, can see the sadness line her face. “Something will happen again. Maybe not tomorrow, or the next week, but it will happen. We do the best we can, cause we love them.”

Tears push at the corners of your eyes, knowing that she is right. That this would be a moment, maybe even something peaceful. It could even be the last time you all would be together. A pull in your stomach made you press your hand there, wanting to freeze time and stay here. Memorize every detail, every sound, how this felt. It was so fragile, a delicate web spun around them, waiting for the wind to sweep them all away. 

“I am not you, Doc,” Pepper says, reaching over and squeezing your hand. “My advice is to try and hold onto this for as long as you can. Work together, make new memories.” She gives an understanding smile. “Not saying you put down roots, but take your time, enjoy what you have. Love that man for as long as you can, because he will get called again. He will get hurt again, and all we can do is enjoy every day we get with them.” 

You wipe at the corners of your eyes, sniffing, and trying to find enough breath to speak. “It feels like too much some days. Every time we stop, it’s like it all crashes on me.” 

She nods sadly, “It does. I wish I could tell you it gets better; however, I’ve never been good at lying.” Lifting her cup, she finishes it. “With that, I think we need another drink. Also, you should stop Sam before he starts cooking your house bit by bit.” 

***

The fire has burnt down, the stars are out, and chickens have been tucked away in their coop despite Tony and Clint's protests. Bucky is certain that they would have tried to take a chicken in their inebriated state. You were sitting on his lap, hand playing with the hair on the back of his neck. He had been one to take your hand and ask if you’d sit with him. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by him that you had been talking with Pepper. A wave of shame had hit him. You had been working so hard to help him, to keep things normal, to deal with his issues without putting any pressure. Having you sit with him seemed like such a small thing, but it made you smile, and that was all he could ask for. 

Around the fire are so many people. People who care about him, who have grown to know him despite his own trepidations. They cared. They showed up and held on. The neighbours down the way that he’d only just gotten to know, who took care of the goats and taught him to care for them. Tony, who had somehow found it in his heart to be here, to forgive him in his own way. Pepper, who looked at him with the most understanding eyes, while also helping you navigate your own demons. He hated how hard this had been for you. Even if he knew he wouldn’t be here without you. 

Despite it all, they kept showing up for him. Somehow, he had to be okay with all of it. To be okay with the help. The hardship and voices that kept telling him he wasn’t worth all of this. 

Steve sat beside him, half-asleep with his head resting against Natasha's shoulder, watching her with love-struck eyes. Normally, Bucky would tease him for it, but he was just happy for him. Somehow they had found their person, their people, lifetimes apart, and yet bound to one another. 

Buck’s hand finds your hip and pulls you closer to him. You look down, eyes soft and clear as you watch him. He was going to work to keep you, no matter what; it had to become his priority. 

“I was wondering,” Sam asks, sitting down on the other side of Bucky. He must have just come back from walking one of the neighbours' homes. “If you’d mind me hanging around for a little while.”

You look at Sam, then back at Bucky, the two of you putting the strings together. Sam had spent the majority of the night talking with a lovely neighbour by the name of Neo.

“I am sure you could stay, maybe get yourself your own place.” Bucky can hear the teasing in your tone. Sam liked to act nonchalant and indifferent to affection, but when he was interested in someone, it all went out the window.

“Maybe Neo won't mind you staying.” Bucky was never good at subtlety. In fact, he liked to egg Sam on, just to get a rise out of him.

Sam huffs, “Come on, man. I got to play it cool now.”

Bucky chuckles as you shake your head. “Stay as long as you like, Sam. I think they’ll see the hearts fluttering around your head.”

Rubbing the back of his head, Sam's cheeks flush. “Yeah, yeah. Soo helpful, Bucky.”

You smirk, “Be nice, you two. Or you’ll both be sleeping with the goats.”

“Steve doesn't need you?” Bucky asks, watching you get up to get more water for everyone. Tony is passed out in his chair, Pepper covering him with a blanket. 

“Nah, he is going to look for Wanda and Vision. Before coming back to Washington for some sort of hearing.” Sam sighs, “Figured I could stay, learn more about Wakanda. Neo knows some people who do falconry, wants to show me how they hunt with them.”

“Didn't know you were so interested in birds.” Bucky watches as Clint covers himself with a blanket. Tents had been set up, but it looked like people would be sleeping outside. 

“I am a little into birds. Studied them when I was being trained for the suit. Learning how they moved, dived, rolled. Gave me ideas about what to do in the sky,” Sam explained, making motions with his hands.

You drag a chair over, handing Sam and Bucky a blanket before sitting down.

“I think you and Neo will get along well.” You take a sip of water, hand resting on the edge of your seat. Bucky reaches forward and takes it. “They speak twenty-four different languages and at least a dozen different dialects. Incredibly talented linguist.”

“Wow,” Sam chuckles, “That is so cool. Is she the one that's been teaching?”

A grin stretches across your face. “Yes, actually. I am not fluent in any, but enough; I can usually understand people.”

“You're just smart.” Bucky squeezes your hand as you roll your eyes. 

The three of you eventually turn to five as Steve and Nat come over. Other members spread out laying on the ground or chairs, watching the stars. It's peaceful, calm, something that doesn't happen very often. You start to doze before Bucky rouses you enough to go to bed. There was no sleeping in a chair for you; he knew that your knee still was healing and would get sore without it propped up properly.

Bucky watches you fall asleep, listening to the broken silence outside. Frogs, grasshoppers, other bugs, and wildlife make what's now soothing noises. For a moment, he remembers what it was like decades ago, lying on a small bed curled under blankets, wondering what tomorrow would bring. Wondering if he would ever come home, ever have a family. Some deep part of him still wanted that, wanted the dream. 

He remembers lying there with you, watching the emotions cross your face. You said that you could see a future together with him. That hadn’t been that long ago, yet it felt like a lifetime. Bucky had made several promises that morning, ones that he intended to keep.

Reaching forward, he carefully traces from your ear down along your jaw over your lips. Bucky loved you, could feel it every time you smiled at him, waiting for him to reach for you. The endless patience you had. Leaning forward, he carefully kisses your cheek, making himself stay in the bed beside you. One way or another, he was going to stick beside you, the same way you stuck beside him. 

PART 36

I am really enjoying getting back to these too. They've been through so much....

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