#marilila

So we have Hot Mess Marinette, whose traumas are very different from those of Jessica Jones, but resulted in a similar air of 'just give me a drink and something to punch so I can stop feeling like trash for a bit.' I like Birdie's comment about the passive superpowers, so we're keeping that.

A JJ AU needs a competent mean lesbian to be a sharky lawyer, and I've decided that's Lila. She's giving PI Marinette jobs for court stuff (find evidence of an affair, serve a subpoena, etc), as her Jeri Hogarth.

Lila would make a good politician. She's got great hair and loves lying.

We're setting this in Chicago. Both of them moved out of Paris for different but similar reasons, boiling down to 'holy shit, trauma' and 'I don't want anyone who knew me as a teenager to know me now.'

Birdie:

They both sass each other constantly, and everybody who sees them interact for five minutes would swear that they hate each other, but low-key they're extremely close and can always count on the other to come pick them up when they're wasted (And make fun of their outfit) while dragging them home Lila + Marinette friendship based on the fact that Marinette is the only person Lila doesn't feel any compulsion to be liked by so she can actually express herself honestly with her and vice-versa

Marinette is such a mess these days that she's almost ashamed of being seen by her old friends BUT she's never cared what Lila thinks, and Lila pays her to serve subpoenas, so.

Yes, that's it exactly! "You don't expect me to be anything other than a Fucking Mess so I don't have to feel guilty about being a fucking mess"

I'm imagining that like, years post canon, everybody from the old Miraculous Crew has done remarkably well for themselves (on paper) and Marinette feels like a fucking wreck because Never-fully-processed PTSD from being a Child Superhero and her only social connections are either people who Didn't Know Her or people she can be comfortable being a mess around (Lila)

(Lila is having an affair with her secretary. Just. That part of the Jeri thing is very important to me.)

(Lila and Marinette messed around a bit, before Marinette dropped out of college for the aforementioned trauma-and-burnout reasons, when she was still trying to keep it together and thought Maybe It's Just A Sexuality Crisis I Can Kiss My Way Out Of.)

also, idea for general/vague plot points: Marinette "I can't bother my friends they're all well adjusted and successful within their field and I'm a wreck"

Alya "I can't shake the horrible feeling that all my success as a blogger/reporter is based on the fact that as a teenager I hit the Popularity Lottery by randomly being best friends with a superhero and everything I've built from that point on feels like a huge lie that I don't deserve"

Nino "I'm a touring musician with success and notoriety but I've lost touch with all my friends from highschool which makes me feel like a sellout bastard and I'd trade it all away to have them back except I'm terrified they wouldn't have me so I can't let go of material gains"

Adrien "I have exactly three neurons remaining that aren't drowning in stress and guilt about the fact that my Fashion Empire was built by my supervillain father and I never had the chance to figure out who Ladybug was before it all came tumbling down and I have no way to contact her or any of my other friends because I've convinced myself they'd all resent me for my father's actions anyways"

Chloe "Is actually remarkably well adjusted because she went to therapy and ditched her abusive family and is living her best life in her own lane and is probably the one Marinette runs into first"

Kagami is Marinette's Matt. The blindness was hereditary and hit in their twenties. Mostly I want Lawyer Kagami, and in regards to her and Lila being in the same field, I think they're unrelated lawyers who do different work? Lila does mostly civil suits.

I am also just like, deeply into "Lila is a lawyer because it lets her weaponize her Worst Traits to do Good in the world" and also "Lila does not by any measure actually stop being a huge bitch or actively problematic in her personal life" she's just like, actively trying to shovel garbage out of the world in order to personally make up for the share she put into it. Does a lot of divorce cases for abused spouses pro-bono, still definitely cheats on her fiance with her secretary.

"I am committed to making the world a better, safer place" "Do you want to examine any of your personal actions in the face of that statement?" "No"

A mess, but a shiny one. Chloe got therapy, Lila got a law degree.

Chloe got therapy and a motorcycle and a punk undercut and the only member of her family she regularly talks to is her half-sister. (And her dad on his birthday. He was incompetent but not Evil.) (Also shoutout to the Crimson Vision version of Chloe for being my ideal Headcanon for Adult Chloe)

I LOVE CV CHLOE SO MUCH

I feel like Kagami visits Lila for Law Reasons and runs into Marinette in the lobby, and it's deeply awkward for everyone (except Lila, who thrives on drama), because this is the first time anyone's seen Marinette in years.

Alya, after the gossip reaches her with Marinette's new contact info: SERIOUSLY? ILLINOIS? YOU LEFT PARIS FOR ILLINOIS?

Marinette and Lila both wanted a fresh start and NYC wasn't an option because Chloe.

Kagami and Chloe bullied their way into staying friends with Adrien and Nino still makes the effort so Adrien does in fact have a girl gang. (Per Birdie, it lessens the "Everyone's a hot mess bitch let's get you some fruite" vibes, but it's also still good.)

Lila seems like the kind of overachiever that would have a license to practice law in both the US and France. She makes her big fancy return to Paris for something insane like "Ivan was framed for triple homicide" and she's decided to take the case Pro Bono (and dragged Marinette along with her).

Marinette just bulldozes her way through the investigation and it scares the shit out of everyone. She has a "Talks about their city like they kind of want to have sex with it" monologue in Paris.

Lila gets Complaints about Marinette and just laughs it off. This has been happening for years, people. She's not concerned. This is the new normal, friends!

Alya: Girl I haven't heard from you in three years and NOW you come back with Lila of all people, smelling like a distillery and punching information out of people?

everyone expects her to be the Clever Inspiring Leader and instead she's just. The Tank. Plows through obstacles and drags people out of bars into the alley to have a Talk with them.

segue but Chloe is the Kristen Stewart of this reality in the "Is incredibly, visibly gay, just short of Actively Having Sex with her Girlfriend in Public, and all the tabloids call them Pals and speculate on whether she and Adrien are in a relationship" sense Chloe: Okay so maybe I was carrying a bit of a torch for Little Miss Perfect in high school so what" Lila: Bitch you were carrying a roadside emergency flare and repressing so hard you tried to drown it in a lake"

Marinette, pretending to not be in the hotel room when Alya comes by: Lila you have to cover for me make up an excuse you're good at that Lila: Hey Alya, yeah no Marinette's not here right now, do you want me to tell her you dropped by? Alya: uh... yeah that would be good. Sure. Lila: [turns her head] Alya dropped by. Anyways I'm gonna go get some coffee you two sort your shit out before I get back [opens the door wide open as she leaves]

Bitch Love her

helpful bitch! Ain't nobody got time for this shit, get the messy crying stuff over with she already knows you're going to be fine afterwards!

"You shacked up with LILA?" "Hell no, she's already got a fiancee AND a mistress, I'm not getting involved with that." "Oh. So you didn't sleep with Lila then." "... I didn't say THAT."

Alya, certified Flannel Wearer, looking at Lila walk down the hallway in heels and a nice suit ".... okay yeah fuck I can't throw stones here"

what if all the Miraculous Kids kept some measure of power after Whatever Happened Happened? So there's an element of like "How are you so sure that Ivan didn't murder those people?" "Because he didn't level a city block in the process, Lila. We'd know if something made him lose his temper." to that angle of the plot.

hmmmmm no Kwamis, because however the final nonsense with Gabemoth went down they all had to go dormant for a while to recover? (no Trauma related to it other than "Wait what do you mean my emotional support Cute Magical Mentor isn't going to be around to give me advice any more" but isn't that enough when you're also a Teen Superhero who never got therapy?) And that's part of why Marinette is spiraling so hard?