You ever think of the fact that Erwin could've easily married Marie and had all the happiness in the world instead of enduring all the burden, guilt, and loneliness, and chasing a dream he wasn't even sure of, and eventually even dying without fulfilling it? The man clearly struggled with immense guilt and loneliness and I don't think anyone dwells enough on how tragic his life, and even eventual death, were. The man screams tragedy in every sense of the word š
Ok, Iām going to preface this answer by saying that Iām deeply uncomfortable with marriage being held up as the apotheosis of adult relationships. Certainly marriage works for some people, many people in fact, but I donāt believe itās necessarily something that everyone should be expected to aspire to. Relationships can take many, many forms and I think people would be a lot happier if they accepted that.
Right, now weāve got that out of the way, Iām curious about your suggestion that Erwin would have wanted to marry Marie and that this would have brought him all the happiness in the world. Ā In the manga, Erwin mentions Marie only once, when he tells Nile in chapter 53 that he was āquite takenā with her. The whole point of that conversation is to remind Nile that the life he has chosen; marriage, children, protecting his family rather than fighting for Humanity as a whole, is a path that Erwin and those who died before him couldnāt have chosen even if theyād wanted to. Ā The reason being that Erwin can see the bigger picture, and he knows that unless things change, Nile wonāt be able to protect his family, no matter how much he follows his orders, and sadly the most recent chapter of the manga has borne tragic witness to that. So no, I donāt think Erwin could have easily married Marie and lived the life that Nile lived, because he would always have known that he was living a lie.Ā
Of course thereās also the Smartpass Close-Up Interview with Erwin and Levi where they are asked by a journalist what they would do when there are no more battles left to fight, what their dreams for the future are. Ā Erwin initially avoids the question but when pressed by Levi, who is quite obviously teasing him, he says āAs for meā¦right. Retire to a reclusive area, or maybe have a familyā. Ā To which Levi responds āYour kids wonāt be cute for sure.ā The whole exchange is obviously flippant, however Erwin does make the same serious point that he makes to Nile in chapter 53, that āthe realization of our own dreams is less important than building a world for people, a place where humans can accomplish their own dreams.ā Ā Itās an interesting interview and worth rereading, as itās quite revealing about Erwin and Leviās characters and their relationship with each other.
I absolutely do agree that Erwin struggled with an immense burden of guilt over all the lives that were lost under his command, and his desire to prove his fatherās theories true, however I disagree strongly that Erwin was lonely. Ā The one saving grace in Erwinās life was that he had a small but close group of friends who respected and supported him; Mike, Hanji, Nile, and of course Levi. Ā However you interpret Erwin and Leviās relationship; lovers, friends, comrades, brothers in arms, itās impossible to deny that they had a deep and close relationship based on mutual trust and respect. Ā Erwin recruited Levi into the Survey Corps, created a rank for him, they fought side by side for years, they shared private meals together after expeditions, and, if the recent USJ exhibition is to be believed, shared a room together. Ā Leviās trust in Erwin never wavered, he supported him through thick and thin, eased the burden of his guilt and despair, and stayed by his side until the bitter end. Ā I think the fact that Erwin died with his two closest friends by his side is testament to the strength of that friendship. Ā So yes, Erwinās life was tragic, but one thing it wasnāt was lonely.
With regards to your last point āI donāt think anyone dwells enough on how tragic his life, and even eventual death, were.ā Ā The tragedy of Erwin Smithās life and death has been honoured and explored in depth and detail by the many, many talented writers and artists of the Eruri fandom. Ā If you need a place to start, Iāve got a whole host of fic recs devoted the Commander here: fic rec and a list of artists here: tags page. Ā