#march thoughts

I was so damn angry I could set the world on fire. Some days I felt like I contained my rage well and other days I felt like it was slipping out of every pore. I would lie and say I didn’t know where it came from or how it started but I knew exactly the root from which it stemmed. I was angry at how people treated the state of my existence.

I used to think you a black hole. Completely dark, and a parasite, not a positive trait about you. And lifeless, absolutely soulless.

God, I was so very very wrong. You’re not just a black hole, you’re the night sky, a galaxy, the whole fucking universe.

My whole universe.

You’re not all darkness, like you want everyone to think. You’re riddled with stars, bright spots, like your humor, your pretty smile, your laugh. There are entire solar systems in the way you think, everything revolving and clicking so perfectly, so complex and mysterious but to you so natural, so easy. You’re so brilliant.

And sure, there are dark points, negative space in the in-between.

But honey, please believe me when I say this, that everything about you is beautiful. And frankly, I think God made a mistake when he hung the stars in the sky. He should’ve put all their glittering glory in your eyes.

Last night, I dreamt of you.

You, and your soft smile you only unearth when you think no one's watching.

You, and your witty quips and barbs, that lately, have not been so sharp.

You, and the way your eyes glitter when a joke is told, that small choked chuckle before you clap your hand to your lips

you, and your lips.

You, and the way your hand would feel in mine.

Today, I woke and thought of you.

You, and the way your posture shrinks when I'm around.

You, and the way your eyes avoid mine like we're magnetised, the same polarity.

You, and the way your fists and teeth clench when we're together.