How's Tedders teddy boy :) do you wanna share some trivia about him
He's. Well. As good as he can be at the moment !!!!
Truth be told. Teddy isn't doing too hot on any fronts. He's trying his best of course, but there's only so many pretty powerpoints and charts a kid can throw together to run an entire corporation, so people don't really respect him. And it's really not his fault either. He's like 9 ! He basically didn't have any proper training ! One day he was learning multiplication with a private tutor, the next he was put in charge of well over a million factories !! It's Scary !!!! He's trying very hard to process that, and to deal with the responsibility thrown on his shoulders the best he can. The fact they haven't gone bankrupt yet is only because he's trying so hard it's making other people who work with him feel bad, so work hard as well, if only to keep it together a little while longer.
That being said however ☝️ I have been pondering him a lot lately, so I do want to share some trivia on him <3
- Teddy's parents recently got divorced in an incredibly public scandalous way, but he doesn't really know what is happening at all due to being very sheltered. It really doesn't matter either way, because he's come to think of his robot bodyguards more as parents than his actual biological parents.
- Speaking of being very sheltered, Teddy has no contact with people his own age, he's usually surrounded exclusively by adults. The only exposure he has to other kids is on his tablet, where he watches children's shows and movies mostly unsupervised save for hos robot bodyguards. Playgrounds are rented out for him whenever he wants to go out, he's heavily monitored when he's outside, and most kids his own age would 100% bully him so he's shit out of luck on the friendship department.
- Before his father passed the CEO mantle to Teddy, the plan was for his older brother, Harold, to take over the corporation. This quickly became unviable, as Harold was unceremoniously murdered in Pandora by bandits after telling them he was a, quote, "Aspiring Vault hunter". Teddy does not know this, and just assumes he'll be back any day now.
- (Teddy also doesn't know that his sister Aubrey was only skipped in the line because she's a girl. He can't really comprehend structural misogyny and she hasn't told him either on account of him being 9 years old and unable to do anything about it.)
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Angel friendship tierlist, but it's mostly based on my au where she's alive <3. Don't mind the Suspiciously Long Roland Shaped Tier. Also my thoughts on all of these under cut because I do actually have a LOT of thoughts on this one
Peepaws Tier:
Self explanatory, but also heavily dependent on the Angel Jakobs theory. I think it would be so interesting for Angel to have a more unconventional support structure because her whole life was dictated by a very specific familial core (Patriarch (dead) Mother and Daughter (property)), so it would feel good to kind of get away from that dynamic and instead just hang out with your gay granduncles. I still think Angel maintains a certain distance because, especially post the wedding, the normalcy starts settling in and she gets scared it'll be a repeat of what happened before. Their doors are always open to her whenever she comes by, even if its infrequent, because they love her no matter what, no strings attached. I also think the individual dynamics with Wainwright and Hammerlock would be so fascinating personally. Hammerlock would probably be closer to her by default because they're both wanderers looking for challenges in the six galaxies, but she does hold a fondness to Wainwright because he treats her both like an adult (which she appreciates, after a lifetime of being infantilised) and like a precocious niece (which she also appreciates, as she never got to have a childhood where she was cared for). Her peepaws :]
Best friend potential tier:
Ellie: I was talking about this w June last night but Angel would fucking ADORE Ellie. She deeply admires how independent and self sufficient she is, how she's never afraid to stick it to anyone, even her own parent, because her life is her own to live. To a kid who's been sheltered her whole life, Ellie is the equivalent of a revolutionary. So needless to say Angel would worship the ground she walks on and visit her every other day to make sure she's doing good. Ellie is fond of Angel too and takes to her like a little sister, encouraging her to do stupid shit to make up for a lifetime of being a goody two shoes (Forcefully), and allowing her to just be her own person without having to ask for permission, because she too knows how its like to live your life in the wants of someone else ("Is it okay if I cut my hair?" "babygirl you can do anything you want forever y'hear me?" "okay yay"). They're best friends.
Zer0 / Fl4k: Both are here for the same reason and that reason is Zer0 and Fl4k would be the coolest people ever in Angel's eyes. She'd follow them around during hunting trips and help them out occasionally whenever they cross paths. Zer0 recognizes Angel from the control core and Fl4k majorly associates her with Death herself, so they're both willing to put up with her ragebaiting them occasionally to have her around. I like to think Zer0 keeps tabs on her but never directly reaches unless she's looking for them. Fl4k's pets run at Angel full speed everytime they see her because they miss her soooo bad already, she's like a magnet for scritchies.
Sasha: I don't know how to articulate this one properly but I think they could bond soooo well... Pandoran girls with abusive dads who were controlling their every move until they finally got away and managed to take control back into their hands. Sasha is also super smart so I think Angel would enjoy their conversations a lot, maybe they'd do it while fixing guns together and exchanging personal projects. They'd just have a cute ass dynamic 2 me.
Fucks w them heavy for their vibes Tier:
Amara: She's just so cool. I think Angel would look up to her a lot, but never actually show it because she's scared of getting too close and being lame in front of her. Amara thinks she's silly but appreciates her company a lot as a fellow siren sister. Wants to get closer to her but is afraid of losing the mystique of being Cool + making Angel scared since she's so skittish. They're both losers for this but they don't see it /silly
Clay: Same reason why Nisha is here. Angel would fucking love cowboys ok. I know this in my heart. He's just cool as hell and she wants to be his friend. Clay would looove Angel he seems like the kind of guy who grew up with sisters so he takes to her very easily.
Ember: In my au Angel tends to spontaneously shave her head a lot so a fellow bald person would of course match her vibes perfectly. I also think her chaotic vibes would entrance Angel sooo bad. She wants to know what her deal is Badly and the same goes for Ember. They should commit a nonzero amount of arson together.
Nisha: I have so many thoughts on Nisha and Angel's dynamic if they were both allowed to liveee ughhh it just means so much to me. I think Nisha, who's already so averse to motherhood and family, would NEVER treat Angel as a kid, and would instead opt to treat her completely as a grown adult and nothing else, and take her opinions about as seriously as she would anyone else (Which isn't to say she's going to take them into consideration, she's just pretending to listen either way). Completely disinterested in being part of her life, even when Angel is so adamant in knowing more about her, because God forbid she get attached NOW, knowing what she knows, having done what she's done. Angel feels similarly in that she does respect Nisha and enjoy her presence, but in the same breath she can't find it in her heart to forgive her for not doing anything when she could've. It's too little too late. Angel wants something from her and she can't figure out what— Maybe its closure, maybe it's just the feeling of understanding why she's like this— but even if she can, she'll never Get it. That's part of why she keeps coming back to Lynchwood, probably.
Vallory: I'm a sucker for Pandorans getting to meet Angel. I think Vallory Would try to adopt Angel mentally but the way she does that is just by being nice and offering to kill people for Angel. Angel does consider accepting it sometimes but she sees their relationship more as "50 year old coworker" core. Does that make sense
Scarlett: I just think it'd be funny as fuck. Nisha's ex girlfriend who keeps trying to swindle Angel and failing but she just doesn't stop. Everytime they cross paths its a different scam. Angel is very fond of her for it.
Gaige / Moze: Both here for the same reason, that being "I think Angel would get a baby crush on them both and not be able to pin down why, thus frustrating her endlessly and leading her to bite both as hard as she can out of nowhere like an overstimulated cat". Baby butches who keep accidentally triggering her kill switch out of nowhere
Close, but not as much as they could be due to Circumstances Tier:
Ava: Ava thinks of Angel like a cool cousin who's never around., and desperately wants to have her closer because she's just SOOO cool ! And she used to be a siren ! And she's just out of reach !...and Angel doesn't know what to do with Ava, because on the one hand she's seeing red flags everywhere with how she's being raised, and her head tells her to intervene before Something Bad Happens, but on the other she doesn't know how to approach her either. In my head, Angel isn't very sure how she can interact with anyone younger than her because she's already so far removed from her childhood (<- girl who had it stolen from her) it feels difficult to approach them without her feeling kind of weird and predatory for it (<- girl who might've developed OCD). Ava needs someone closer to her that isn't just her mentor and the order, and that someone Could be Angel, but Angel needs to go through extensive healing before she can consider herself a good influence on her.
Janey: I just think Angel would like Janey but find her unapproachable because of Athena. Still friends from afar...
Fiona: Same motives as Sasha but I think Fiona would be harder for Angel to approach for some reason. Not sure how 2 explain.
Pickle: Same as Ava, but I think Angel would be much more concerned for him in comparison because they just left this little boy alone on the moon ??? And her fuckass dad got him in trouble !! She has to do something !! (Gets paralyzed with the fear of interfering and becoming like her father) nevermind
If Only both of you had a little more time to spend. Tier:
Athena: She was so close to finding out about Angel, so close to doing something, so CLOSE. And so far. I think the guilt of it keeps her up at night a little. I think having met the Guardian would make her feel crazy when she sees Angel. I think Angel would also feel really weird about it.
Felicity: AUUUGHHGGHHHFGHHHHHHHHHH. TRAPPED BY THE CIRCUMSTANCES . THE PATRIARCHY . JACK !!!!!(sounds of despair)
Wilhelm: He knew about Angel. He couldn't NOT have known. He could recognise what Jack was doing, he recognised that what reached out to him in the first place wasn't an ai, or even Jack at all, it was Something Else. But because he wasn't paid to care, he just didn't... Or at least, he was very good at pretending like he didn't. And it drove Angel so mad for so many years.
Zarpeddon: AUUUATGAAGAUAYGSHGZYCUUGHGGHFGG. THE GUARDIAN .!!!!! THE GUARDIAN KNEW OF ANGEL !!! IT MUST'VE TOLD ZARPEDDON AT SOME POINT SHE MUST'VE KNOWN. SHE MUST'VE KNOWN SHE WOULDN'T BE SAVED. FUUKJUCKJ (SOUNDS OF MADNESS)
Steele: Not even sure what to say here I just think if Steele knew of Angel's existence, Atlas would jump on Jack like a pack of wild dogs, and it would be horrible for everyone involved.
Funny Little Robot :] Tier:
Yep she loves them just for being silly robots <3 they're her friends. Don't do anything to them or she'll scream.
Disastrous Dynamic but Fascinating 2 Me (The #parallels and #foils) Tier:
Aurelia: Her extremely rich auntie who projects HEAVY on her. I think if they were to ever come together it'd be during a family hangout from Hammerlock's side of the family and she'd be sharing details of her life even Alistair doesn't know about. And Angel is just sitting there mouth open like 🧍🏻♀️ Miss Aurelia why are you telling me that .
Maya: Maya had to know Angel was a siren right. She heard her saying Executing Phaseshift. She knew, in some part of her, that it was a person speaking to her all along. And she knew from the bottom of her heart she wouldn't be able to save them in time. And she didn't. She failed a version of herself that was never powerful enough to break away from the chains that bound her down. Angel knows it too.
Tyreen/Troy: Ignoring the fact they'd immediately leech her dry, I think they'd be like horrible older siblings to her. They have her as a cult prisoner for a while and are just nightmares and terrible influences the entire time. Angel can't fucking stand them but in the rare moment they're vulnerable to her, she can't bring herself to hate them proper. They went through the same abuse as she did and they never got the closure they needed. Of course they're like that. They're still fucking annoying though she's running away !!!
Katagawa Jr: (Normal) Let me tell you about the Katagawa jr Angel dynamic that exists only in my brain . That's his little sister . that's her online friend. They knew each other as kids and now they're both so far removed from what they used to be that they don't immediately recognise each other. Angel gets so disillusioned again with yet another corporate man using of her trust to just do some bullshit again. Kat just sees his little sister still. Its a Bad Time for everyone involved
Salvador: What if you met your God and she was a teen girl. What if you met your God and you had to kill her. What if she hadn't died properly and she came back to haunt your peripherals. Well this happened to my buddy Salvador.
Yvette: Diversity win ! This corporate woman is doing the same shit the corporate men are doing, and it's driving Angel mad that she sympathises with her more than any of those other guys just from the principle!
Tina: Tina resenting Angel is soooo maddening to me. Redirecting all that grief from Roland's death into Angel and blaming her for what Jack did, calling her a freak and a monster, not knowing she too was an abused girl with a parent who could never care for her proper. Man. I think Angel would understand even if it makes her really upset. They play bnb together and it's incredibly awkward.
Krieg: What if we were both Hyperion science experiments and things were so fucking bad constantly <3 I think the way Krieg sees Angel is similar to Salvador's, but he relates more to her on a personal level because of what happened at Hyperion. Feels really bad for her but has no way to properly articulate it
Heavily Disillusioned with after Fight For Sanctuary, will never see them the same again Tier:
GRIPS MY HEAD. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HER FRIENDS. SHE JUST WANTED THEM TO BE HER FRIENDS. AND THEY FAILED HER TIME AND TIME AGAIN. BECAUSE OF JACK. BECAUSE THEY NEVER SAW HER AS A PERSON. BECAUSE JACK FACILITATED THEM TO USE HIS OWN DAUGHTER AS A SCAPEGOAT. MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suspiciously long Roland Shaped Tier:
Yeah. Yeah. I just. Roland man. Rolandddd. (grips head) Auuaugh. the parallels . FUCK
Last two tiers are very self explanatory so I won't go into detail I just don't think Angel fws them
Archer (Knows he fucked up bad even though he didn't tell him) Oh, sir. Just the man I was looking for! So happy to see you Casanova. How you doing pal? Holding up good Lightning? Got a moment?
Hansuke (Knows he knows because he Always Fucking Knows): Haahaaaa heyyyyy thunderrrr... good to see you man, but uh, I'm kinda busy right nowww (skittering away) sooo I'll see you later! Party and drinks tonight at the Zanara, right? haha
Archer: (Smiling and going after him) C'mon now your Majesty, surely you got a second. I just needed to talk to you. (Face suddenly gravely serious) Alone.
Hansuke: (Scared) Ohhhh Actually . I think I'm good. I'll see you in a second yeah bossman? Don't worry about it— (Calling the elevator with building desperation and then trying to close it faster than he can get in)
Archer: (Holding elevator door open with his bare fucking hands???) Hansuke Katagawa. We will talk. And we will talk right now. (gets in elevator and hits the close door button Very Calmly) (smashing that thing with his fist)
Hansuke: (I'M SO FUCKED) Hahaa alright Ace . sure (Elevator slowly closes on his terrified ass face)
(In the elevator. Peppy music playing)
Archer: So. Heard about what happened. Real shame we lost that deal.
Hansuke: So it is. Where'd you, uh, even... hear, about that anyway?
Archer: (Smiles Normally and Non-threateningly) I have my sources, you know that. (Not smiling anymore) But you could've come to me with an issue like that, you know. What am I if not your right hand? Don't you trust me?
Hansuke: (Puffing up like a scared cat) You know, most guys don't feel like it's trustworthy when you stalk them and then confront them about it alone, Shadow.
Archer: My apologies then (Does not fucking mean that), but as you know, I'm here to ensure the productivity of my sector. If my sector isn't running smoothly, or if something is jamming, it's my responsibility to figure out what happened and deal with it, (Getting very close to him. get off freak) Ain't it, tiger?
Hansuke: (Puffing up More) Hey. Personal space, would you buttercup. Don't forget who you're talking to. (Still backing away)
Archer: (Backs off) Sure. But don't forget your half of our deal either, yeah champ? Wouldn't want to do that.
(Elevator door opens)
Archer: (Smiling like nothing happened and pressing Hansuke's right floor) Right, won't hold you up anymore. I'll see you around Lightning! And, y'know— (Serious again) Fix it. (Walks away, elevator door closes back up)
Hansuke: (Normal about what just happened) (leaning on elevator wall) what the fuck ? what
Give us the rundown on Luis? The basics and the crash course perhaps... Bullet point list? Intro? Luis us up boss
HEEHEEE otay !!
Luis is, well, an anomaly in the universe. Once a charming young man from a people long lost, his life was cut short after a conflict that erased him from existence all together... only to end up being reborn again. From sheer fiery rage and the incomprehensible power of the abyss, Luis was brought back to life in a state of technical immortality— No longer having a soul, he can't be considered alive, but that doesn't stop him from marching eternally, full of spite and hatred for not just those who killed him, but for the gods who allowed to let it happen in the first place, especially the one who was most present when it did: Solaris. Or more accurately, one very specific vessel of Solaris, whom he keeps travelling dimensions and colliding universes just to keep killing.
As he continues his existence in this state of undead living,he harnesses more and more knowledge of the void and its properties, exploring universes and relentlessly pursuing revenge. Despite not being too concerned from his initial conception, being content to let only their vessels and lower rank influences deal with him, the gods are now starting to realise how dangerous he is becoming, and it's turning into a multidimensional chase as they try and fail to seal him away. He's unpredictable, and the nature of the abyss has already gone majorly undiscovered on account of its terrifyingly unknowable nature, meaning he's a threat with no known way to permanently be contained.
...Thankfully though, It seems like he's calmed down a lot. Huh. Wonder what happened...
- Luis' actual name is Lockett 'Xheah' Ifiea. Luis is just one of the many names he's gone through over the centuries, but it's the one that seemed to stick the most. No longer uses his actual name on account of no longer deserving it. Because he's Normal <3
- Lost most of his senses over the years on account of no longer being alive and all. His hearing is slightly dampened, his sense of pain is askew, his taste buds are kind of dead so he struggles with tasting, he's extremely light sensitive and his sight organs were., you know, literally removed before, so he's been kinda fucked up ever since. Disabilities Georg.
- His healing factor makes it so that he can heal from wounds almost immediately with enough adrenaline, with only the deepest injuries needing to cared for after battle. It hardly leaves any scar tissue behind, which makes it hard to count just how many battles he's won or lost exactly. Thankfully his memory is very good when it comes to this kind of thing (or So He Claims)
- Luis' body is always kinda cold, and if you look very closely, he has no pulse. This is normal ! His body doesn't have a need for his heart anymore, so it just kinda sits in his ribcage useless. Ever since the abyss took over his body, it flows through his veins on its own without the need for a pump, and it has basically the same effect as a regular heart, except with all the inconvenient stuff in the way. Also he doesn't sweat anymore <3
- His one and only hobby that he sticks with consistently is working out, and he technically doesn't need to do it because the hyperstrength comes with the void posession free of charge, but it does help him feel more grounded. Also he likes having that dehydrated muscle look what about it....
- Has two daughters, Petals (9 (and a quarter !!) and Jasmine (13), whom he loves and cherishes and is so so so terrified of losing because he has no idea if they're technically immortal too. Dilemmas ! Here's them bonding though don't worry about it
Cassandra turned three months old today. She's already so big, you'd hardly believe it's only been three months. She really takes after her old man in that regard, heh.
I cradle her as carefully as my rough hands can manage, holding her little head up clumsily. She is still unbelievably fragile, I feel awkward trying to dose out the correct amount of gentleness with which to handle her, but it's been such an experience. She's a little fussy, but I think all babies oughta be— It's hard being small. Harder still when you have no way of communicating it.
Cassie is very tired. She had a long day of being small and playing with soft toys today, so I take her on a small walk around the lab. I double check to make sure nothing can disturb us with loud, sudden noises, and then triple check again to ensure no danger is around, but sure enough, it's all good to go. I think she likes it when we walk around here. There's plenty to see, lots of small quiet sounds to notice, the temperature isn't too warm or too cold.
A small selfish part in me almost hopes she likes it for the same reasons I do. But maybe she just likes it because I'm there with her. Ah well.
We walk around the lab for a good couple of minutes, and after a couple of minutes of showing her things and pointing to her reflection to ask her who it is looking back, she gives her first tiny yawn. I find myself yawning almost in synch. The rhythmic gentle shaking we've been doing for our walk gets us both tired. With a tap of my feet, the room reactively shifts around, and pulls a chair from the floor onto the usual spot we like to sit at. Mel is at work, so it's just the two of us for today... three if you count ARC. And I do.
"You all tuckered out sweetie?" I coo, gently brushing her little cheek with my thumb. Cassandra hardly reacts, lightly stirring in her blanket bundle while putting out her little hands to reach for something. I offer her my finger, and she takes it in her tight little fists. She's so strong already. "Owwww, hey... Papai needs that!" I chuckle, shaking my finger around, but she refuses to let go. I keep entertaining her by tugging my finger away, until at some point it does happen to slip off her grip, causing her to flinch in surprise. Then, as if only just processing it was gone, she started to sniffle. "Oh- não não não, meu benzinho, papai tá aqui... shhh, shhhh," I hold her closer, patting her back gently, "Papai não vai a lugar nenhum. Tá tudo bem." She cries into my shoulder softly, and I can't help but feel a little guilty. Logically, I understand nothing is wrong— I'm right here for her, she just has weak memory because her brain is still fresh and mostly unwrinkled. But.
I kiss her tiny baby head, and she stirs some more in my hold. She's so, so unbelievably little. Everything is too much for her. How could it not be? It's her first time experiencing anything at all. I'm all she has for now. I stay quiet.
A familiar whirr in the walls reminds me to get out of my own head.
"Hello Arc. You in here right now?" I ask out to the empty room, petting Cassie's head as an apology for speaking louder this time. The room stays silent for a moment, until a slightly embarassed robotic voice module comes from its in-built speakers,
"Apologies, Primary. I detected two presences in the room, but our Secondary User is currently out of the house. I only wished to investigate,"Arc speaks, and I know part of that is a lie. They've been wanting to see the baby more lately, and it's clearly something they're curious about. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost mistake it for older sibling jealousy, given my time has been pretty divided between working on Arc's systems and caring for Cassandra. "Is this permissable?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it. Just try to run quiet," Your baby sister is falling asleep, I think to say. No words come out of my mouth. "Cass is all sleepy."
"Ah," They stop speaking, and I can hear the small distinct click of a camera lense being adjusted closer to see something. "Tertiary user?"
I can't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, sure. Let's call it that for now. She doesn't know any commands though, so don't be taking orders from her." I crack myself up, and Arc responds with a small buzz of curiosity.
"Will she have permissions one day?
"Maybe. Let's get there first."
We both quiet down when Cassandra babbles in her sleep, sticking her tongue out to blow small raspberries in a displeased fashion. I imagine because we were talking too loudly. "Sorry toquinho, papai will be quieter now." I kiss her temple softly and cradle her to my chest, rocking her gently. I can hear the sound of Arc slowly approaching from behind my chair, deliberately being muffled while a camera pops up from behind my shoulder, extending itself almost comically slow.
"You can look at her Arc, it's okay." I pet the camera, inviting it closer to myself while it tilts its lenses to better see the chubby little baby wrapped up in a comfy, fuzzy blanket in my arms. It's very clear Cassandra got all of Melaine's genes– Cute little flat nose, rounded little doe eyes, so much hair right from the get-go, and the same small hole on the ear as her mama, down to the same side. Every parent thinks their kid is the cutest, but I think I take the cake here, because she IS the cutest.
Haha. I sound like my mom there. She always bragged we were the cutest kids on Pandora to anyone who'd listen. She would've been so happy to meet Cassandra, I know she'd fall in love just as deeply...
"She's so perfect, ain't she? Looks so much like her mama." I brush her little eyebrows very gently with a finger, absolutely enamored while looking at her. My dad always said I looked a lot like my mom too, but that he hoped I'd grow up to look more like him eventually.
"I recognise a lot of your characteristics on her facial structure as well. She truly had an amazing gene pool to pull from." Arc says. I can't help but swallow dry. My father never did get to see me grow up. When I was small, all he could've hoped for was to see me grown into a very specific version of myself, one that took after him more than anything. Sometimes I look at pictures, and I can clearly see the version of me he was hoping for. It fills me with dread to think about how much I look like them.
...She does have some things that are like my own though. The shape of her mouth, her round little cheeks and chin, the angry eyebrows. My mom used to tell me I was an angry baby, and that I constantly looked pissed off despite being so cute otherwise. Cassie isn't angry though. She doesn't know how to be, it's not in her nature.
"Well, if she gets anything from me, I hope it's my brain." I say, holding her closer to myself. "Hell, can you imagine that? haha, if she gets even a fraction of Melaine and I's intellect, then I think she's set for life!" I laugh thinking about it, already imagining all the science projects and experiment kits and report cards we'll get to experience together, as a family. She's gonna be so smart. "Oooo, yeeeees, you're gonna be the smartest little baby in the whole wide universeeee!" I scritch under her chin, and she sticks out her tongue to blow raspberries again, almost like she's laughing with me this time. I sigh with adoration, snuggling her with my nose carefully. "Imagine that huh? You could be a doctor like your mama, or you could make cool machines just like papai, or you could do anything else you want, and you'd still be the best at it." Perhaps a little selfishly, I start to wonder what she'd be like as a bioengineer. A little bit like me, a little bit like her mother, topped off with the sheer amount of intelligence needed to achieve such a goal, melding the biological with the mechanical. Wouldn't that be grand...
"And you know, if we ever mess up at any point, you can use that in your genius backstory to come out on top still, haha."
I go silent after that.
There are so many factors that could go wrong when raising a kid. Financial conditions, where you live, familial trouble, food. So many tiny things that all add up into monstrous amounts of damage. Damage you almost never fully comprehend until you take the time to try and repair it all. How many times did my own father mess up during my own childhood for me to turn out the way I did? Much more than I can count on my hands, that's for certain.
The man was awful. Repugnant. A man completely blinded with pride and with rage, whose hands were covered in unfathomable amounts of blood, yet completely unburned by regret or doubt. He hurt me. He hurt my brother. He hurt our mother. He hurt our neighbors, he hurt strangers, he hurt anyone who'd get close to him for the simple crime of being close. Nothing he ever said was wrong, no matter how much you'd argue, and he could never be guilty of anything, despite the weight of his sins being dragged behind him as he walked.
He was a monster.
A monster who gently cradled my face whenever I was hurt, and who held me at my most vulnerable moments with a kind of awkward tenderness I still find myself (regrettably) missing. A monster who saved me from the world's wrath by teaching it to me firsthand, who taught me to wield it to defend myself. Who moulded me into what I am with the gentleness of a hammer striking molten metal. For a long time, I thought he couldn't have been worse as a father, and I resented him for not trying to be better. But now I realise just how much worse it could've been still.
I look at Cassandra again. Here she is, cradled with her softest fuzzy blanket, with fluffy sheep and rainbows on the front, softly breathing air into small lungs to power an organism so complex yet so rudimentary at the same time. She is so soft, so small, she has no idea of how harsh the world outside this lab— outside of my arms— truly is. How do you prepare someone this vulnerable for the inevitable cruelty the universe has in store? Responsibility has never felt so heavy before, coming down on my shoulders and back, reminding me the weight of my decision to bring an entire new person into existence once more.
I hold her closer to the crook or my neck, placing my hand behind her head to keep her stable, and squishing my face against her little frame to ensure it remains there.
"...God, I really, really hope I don't mess you up." It is completely selfish to wish that I don't mess up instead of taking the precautions to not do it in the first place, but I feel as though it's also completely inevitable. It's going to happen. I can't do anything about it. "Or, maybe if I do mess you up, I do it in a really small way, in a way you don't turn out like I do, and," I pause. "...I really hope I do it in a way you can forgive me for it."
I squeeze her just the tiniest amount. She is alive in my hold, breathing and pulsing and warm, and I am terrified of it. She's going to grow up one day. I already feel the need to apologise for not doing enough, for not being able to solve everything. But damn it, even if its the last thing I do, I need to try.
"Papai is right here, and he's not going anywhere okay? I'm right here."
Arc settles by my side with a small whirr, snuggling their camera into my shoulder and turning down the lights to a softer hue. They have no way of knowing exactly what I feel, but I know they are trying their best to be there too. We all fall asleep together.
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Kinds of Relationships The Hireguns Have with Each Other
- Archer / Salt / Jonah - Childhood friends, siblings in consideration and in split blood. Do not separate or they start screaming. Closest out of everyone in the group. They love each other a lot, but their favourite activity is to just get on everyone else's nerves for fun. Ragebaiting triad.
- Radha w/ Everyone, but especially Jonah - Late 40ish year old coworker who no one knows anything about, but who's always good to have around because of their experience. With Archer she's more like a subordinate through technicality, but they both know he only has as much ground to boss her around as she allows it. If he tries to give her an order instead of politely asking her, the risk if her punching his ribs in is nonzero. He's not willing to take that chance.
- Salt / Tomto - Friends who bully each other every single day and you kinda wonder if some of it is serious, but they're just having fun. Tomto keeps misusing slang he has no right in using and it pisses Salt off so bad, but no matter how many times he sits his ass down to explain, Tomto keeps Doing It out of habit. (YOU CANNOT BE TALKIN' THAT WAY WHITE BABY)
- Archer / Valéria - Guard dog and guy who Does Not Want a guard dog and just kind of wants a friend. Val has a bunch of very complicated feelings on him and she's mistaking it for a crush, but because she also has never had a crush before, she just acts like an eternal sentinel ruthlessly protecting some precious fragile artifact. Archer cannot handle all that even if he wanted to. Tries to humanize her as much as possible and she kinda refuses it, which is kind of frustrating on his end because he knows he's competent on his own, and it feels very condescending to act like this toward him. Not willing to voice this to her because she's clearly just needy and insecure, so he's afraid it would hurt her feelings to know it.
- Melaine / Tomto - Tomto's track record with doctors is (gestures vaguely at the incredibly invasive procedures he had done to him) not great, so he was reasonably very skeptical and scared of Melaine in the beginning... but she's always so gentle and patient, she insists on getting consent before anything even outside if a medical context when she goes to handle him, and she expresses a lot of sympathy for his struggles even when he's slightly cold towards her. And he's just like Damn it it's getting pretty hard to dislike you for being a doctor when you're just a sweetheart. Is probably one of the only other people who know about the extent of things done to him. Melaine is glad to show him someone he can trust, but is also deeply horrified at everything he had to go through "in the name of science". It leaves her feeling really contemplative for a long time after because, well, it's hard to keep going through with your own goals of research when you're worried about the experiments needed for it possibly violating people's autonomy. Ethics and all.
- Salt / Valéria - Val idolizes Salt soooo much, he's a kind of knight in shining armour to her, and she wants to get closer but she's also so fucking scared of closeness. Salt is oblivious to this and just likes having her around, so he's fully under the impression they've been friends the whole time, even though Valéria would say they're acquaintances at most in her head. She's very weird and he likes her.
- Tomto / Jonah - Jonah HATES his ass. There is mostly no reason for it, he just didn't pass the vibecheck once and Jonah got very petty about it. He's perhaps one of the only people seeing right through to Tomto and recognizing his crush on Archer, which just feeds into his need to be spiteful because this guy doesn't deserve him. Tomto doesn't understand why he gets on his ass so much and is very annoyed about it. Still considers Jonah to be his friend because he wants his brother carnally and knows if he ever was mean to him he'd beat his ass however.
- Tomto / Valéria - Tomto low-key projects on Valéria a lot in regards to feeling excluded from the group, so they bonded together over feeling like outcasts everywhere they went. It felt nice to be acknowledged by someone on his end, and Valéria didn't mind having someone who wasn't afraid of her for once, so it felt good for both of them. Valéria is terrified of Tom ever finding out she worked for Atlas once upon a time given she knows of his traumas pretty intimately now, so she kind of avoids talking about herself entirely to get around that. Tomto never notices it though, and just keeps talking about himself hoping she doesn't get disinterested at some point.
- Jonah / B111 - Jonah LOVES B111. They're the coolest to him, and he really does wish he could swap bodies with them sometimes, given they seem to want what the other has more often than not. Desperately wants to run deeper diagnostics on them, but B111 never lets him do it because the risks of their internal bomb's timer restarting if something so much as touches one strand of circuitry is VERY high, and it just puts everyone in danger. You'll often find Jonah hanging onto B111 like a kid on monkey bars, sprawling out on them and climbing around with little issue. They're unbothered by this and kind of delight in the fleshy human affections. Kinda wishes they could feel the touch on their chassis, but is satisfied to know he's comfortable enough to cling to them this way.
- Valéria / B111 - Val doesn't talk much to B111 because their sheer size scares her, even with all their gentleness, but she does find herself relating to them very often. Abandoning the purpose you were created for, and forging a new one with the people who have taken you in... Yeah. It hits hard for her. B111 wishes they could be closer so they could actually explore those kinds of sentiments with her, but she's a little difficult to get a hold of at any given time. A very puzzling young lady.
- Radha / Melaine - Tried SO hard to dislike her. Radha doesn't want to admit she ever needs help for anything, and going to a doctor to check out things is just further humiliation on top of getting hurt, but Melaine is SO fucking stubborn. She has burrowed herself deeply into her head and will not get out. Refuses to leave her alone without at least giving her a proper bandaging option. It pisses her off so much and she wants to keep the distrust almost out of spite now, because there's just no way someone is this angelic just because. Fuck off..... (<- longingly looking at band-aid ze gave her)
Will Archer ever find happiness? … okay WHEN he finally kiss Katagawa and get his happiness 🥺
The ominous answer: Archer is a person who will never admit, not once in his entire life, that he'd just like to be happy for once. He views that as indulgent in a way he doesn't deserve, but claims it's because it's beneath him instead. He doesn't want to admit that he never did need a grand destiny, or great wealth, or fame, because he never even wanted those things in the first place, he just... figured he was supposed to. That's what Great Men want. And since he is convinced He is a Great Man, he pretends that these are his own desires and not just vague projections of what success is meant to be like. His yearning feelings go ignored most of the time because they're not the "right" feelings to have as a Great Man. He will yearn until the day he dies without ever getting the satisfaction of material happiness. And he will rot knowing he didn't even have to do any of that anyway.
The funnier answer: I'm sure he'll be happy aaaanyday now !!! ........anyday now,
The totally real answer: Katagawa and Archer kiss in the epilogue #trust
Baltazar's highest moment, if asked by most people, was probably their career with Droball; They were at their absolute peak both physically and productivity-wise, the most popular player there was, and the most skilled too as considered by so many people in the industry. Baltazar Phoenix was a Legend, a one of a kind star player that so many people loved, a true cultural phenomenon !... in the eyes of the public, at least. Because if you asked Baltazar, this would've been the lowest they've gotten in a lifetime. He was constantly running low on sleep, always irritable, hungry and tired every single day, going through marriage problems then divorce when things crashed and burnt, depending on alcohol for pretty much every moment of 'relaxation' he ever had.. you get it. This was also around the same time he made an attempt on his own life, so you can imagine why he wouldn't look at it with a lot of fondness.
Truth be told, Baltazar resents pretty much every single life they've ever lived in their millions of years at least a little bit. They regret so much, even though they've generally had positive experiences, even though it feels so fun to live and they love to just be alive, because it really never feels like *enough*. Mortal lifetimes are so short and fragile; it inhibits so much, its hard to get properly invested when all you can think about is how this is the 60th time you've met someone and they don't recognize you because they've died 735 times and have been reincarnated as several different people. It just sucks you know. It's the kind of thing most normal people never have to think about because they'll always be blissfully unaware of those experiences, the threads of their souls washed by the life seamstresses before being woven back into existence... But vessels don't get that privilege. It's either they give up all their knowledge and memories, or they keep going back.
They resent being immortal and they resent being mortal, and truth be told they just kinda wish everyone would live forever so they could all hang out. But it's not like that and it can't ever be like that. So they're just gonna have to be bitter about it forever pretty much. His mental state is thriving btw don't worry about it 👍
