#magical transformations

Sam sits down beside Niki. She slouches in her seat uncomfortably as he smiles at her. He's been waffling for weeks between either unsubtly avoiding her and being overtly friendly. If she didn't already know that he's very monogamously in love with some other dude, she'd think he's crushing on her. But that can't be it, so Niki is confused in regards to his possible motives.

Eret serves everyone heaping piles of the noodles and stirfry. "Truly, a queen among humanity." Puffy giggles as she stuffs food in her mouth. 

Foolish laughs at Jack, who's formed a mustache out of his noodles. The banter is so normal, the scene so mundane, it brings an ache to Niki's heart. 

The heavy knock on the door shatters the illusion. 

Niki rises to answer, but the door swings open before she can peek out the peephole. "Why, hello." A gruff voice intones, two glittering eyes pinning Niki in place. "Mind if I come in?" 

"Who are you?" Niki crosses her arms, blocking the way of the shadow. 

"You may know me as Technoblade." The massive form ducks through the door and into the light, shedding the boiling shadows. Niki gasps and flinches back from the menacing figure. 

Technoblade adjusts the glasses resting on his muzzle, scratches his bristly neck, and widens his amused grin. Behind Niki, her friends have all stood up, tensing for battle. "Relax." Technoblade admonishes lightly, raising his claws. "I'm not here to kill any of you this time." 

"This time??" 

Technoblade laughs awkwardly. "Aha, don't let this scare you or anything, but I'm under oath to not harm any of you tonight." 

"What do you want??" Puffy snarls, yanking Niki behind herself protectively. 

"We would like you to join our anti-emperor coup d'etat as allies." His tusks glint as he bends his head to stare at them through his glasses. "Sam, you smell terrible." 

"Ha- what??" Sam clenches his fists. "Wanna say that again, big guy??" 

"Yeah, actually. You stink of guilt and lies." Technoblade shrugs. "Hey, that's none of my business though if y'all wanna associate with a traitor." 

"Out." Puffy growls, glaring up at Techno. "Get out." 

"Wait, wait, haha, I kinda have to secure this alliance. C'mon, Captain, what do you say?" 

"Fuck you." Puffy flips him off. "Leave." 

Technoblade shrugs. "K. Don't say I didn't warn you." He ducks out of the door again, once more shrouded in shadow.  

Puffy slams the door after him. "What the hell was that about?? How dare he come in here to, to try to tear us apart!" 

Niki steps back as Foolish and Jack join in Puffy's rage. She turns and meets Sam's eyes. He stares at her with broken desperation apparent in the welling tears. Eret offers Sam their hand. "You good, man?" 

Sam flinches. "I- I'm so sorry." 

The room goes unnaturally silent. Puffy breaks the quiet tension with a furious shriek, throwing up her arms and storming to the beanbag. She throws herself into the poof and muffles an angry scream. 

"What do you mean, Sam??" Foolish cries. "What are you sorry for, you've done nothing!! Right??" 

Sam drops his eyes with a heavy sigh. "I have prior loyalties that- I thought I wouldn't encounter him again, okay? I thought- I thought he was gone for good. But he's back. And I can't betray him again, or- or he'll kill all of you, and I can't let that happen!" 

Jack pats Sam's shoulder. "Hey, look, at least you had good motives." 

Niki leaves Jack and Eret to comfort Sam, and approaches Puffy, who kicks her feet on the floor, still making noises like a pissed off tea kettle. "Are you okay?" 

"No, I'm not okay!" Puffy snaps, going miserably limp in the poofy beanbag. "I can't even protect my own team." Tears well in her eyes. "I can't even protect my own fucking team!! Why the fuck did that goddamn bastard Technoblade notice before I did??" 

"I, I think he's still out on the balcony, Puffy." Niki hisses upon glancing out the window. 

"Damn him, of course he is." Puffy grumbles. "Please deal with him for me?" 

"Of course, babe." Niki impishly plants a kiss on Puffy's wrist, then leaps up. 

Upon opening the door, she scowls at the lurking Technoblade. "Fifty thousand a day." 

"Heh? That's a rather high price, what about-"

"This is not a negotiation." Niki smiles sweetly. "It's an ultimatum. We will be your allies in this coup if you pay each of us fifty thousand bullion credits a day." 

Technoblade huffs heavily. "Don't punt anyone, they said. Just barter, it'll be easy, they said... Damn Wilbur, he should've been here instead." 

"Take it or leave it." 

"Fine, I suppose that deal is okay, I guess." Technoblade grumbles. "We'll contact you when we want your assistance." 

"Deal." Niki slams the door closed on him once more.

Puffy giggles hysterically as Niki sits down beside her. "Niki, I can't believe you just extorted the Pax Triumvirs!" 

"Wait, what??" Niki shrieks furiously, leaping to her feet. "The what?? Didn't they beat up Sam??" 

"Yes, but- Niki, you good, babe?" 

Niki glares venomously at the window. "I am going to extort so much more when those bastards try to contact us again." 

Puffy guffaws. Niki glances back at her with a fond smile. In the kitchen, Foolish, Eret, and Jack try to comfort Sam with ideas on how to free him from whatever entity that's been threatening him. 

Nothing about this is normal, anymore. But Niki finds she doesn't mind so much. 

++++

Cloaked in the night, Badboyhalo trails Technoblade back to his base. The foolish Angel walks confidently, unaware of his stalker. Bad waits as Technoblade turns a corner. He sneaks around after waiting a moment. 

But Techno has disappeared. Bad huffs, annoyed that he has to use his meager strength to track the Angel. This was supposed to be a quick, easy mission. He closes his eyes and lets the darkness seep through him. 

Technoblade's form is a mere whisper tickling Bad's senses. Right behind him. Bad ducks; the blade of an axe whistles over his head. His daggers leap into his hands and he slashes for the Angel's arms. Feathers rustle, Bad's only warning before a heavy wing bowls him over. 

"Rude." Technoblade places a foot on Bad's chest, slowly increasing the pressure as Bad struggles to gasp for air. "Why are you followin' me?" 

"I, I was just, just passing throu-gck-!" Iron gravity wraps around his limbs, choking him. "Please-" Bad whimpers. 

"I asked a simple question." 

The pressure eases slightly, allowing Bad to gather his breath for an answer. "I- I just want to make sure they stay safe!" He cries. 

"Who? Nemesis?? They'll be fine. I ain't gonna kill them unless they try to cross us." 

"I know." Bad pleads. "I know, but the Lucid Spider is out and looking for revenge." 

Technoblade's eyes light up. He lifts his foot and yanks Bad to his feet. "The Lucid Spider, you say...?" 

"Yes! He's going to kill me if he finds me, but there's not time, I have to warn the Spirits." Bad brushes himself off. He glances up just in time to see Technoblade hiding a smirk. 

"Well, then. I've got some good news, then." 

"Oh? Really?" Bad perks up hopefully. 

Technoblade caresses the blade of his axe thoughtfully. "Good for me, that is. I'm not entirely sure how great it will work out for you, to be honest." 

"Oh-" Bad shrinks away. "Please don't?" 

"Alright. What'll I get if I let you go?" 

Bad thinks for a moment. He doesn't have riches, or anything really. "Uh, the satisfaction of doing the right thing?" 

"Heh." Technoblade laughs darkly. "I'm afraid that doesn't pay the bills. I can't have Quackity getting pissy cause I let a hostage go for having the moral high ground, now, can I..." He raises his axe. "You're comin' with me." 

Desperately, Bad kicks Technoblade in the gut. The Angel grabs his foot and twists, knocking Bad off balance. Bad shrieks as the axe slams down. It stops, hovering barely a centimeter away from the heartbeat pounding in Bad's throat. Technoblade scowls at Bad for a moment, then turns away and sheathes his axe. "Come on." 

Bad shrinks back, trembling with terrified adrenaline. He wants to go home. He wants to return to Skeppy and Antfrost, his team, his friends.

He starts to draw the shadows to himself in the vain hopes of sneaking away, but he's yanked into the air by gravitational forces beyond his control, then slammed down again. Technoblade doesn't even glance back at him, doesn't say anything, merely waits as Bad regains his breath and struggles to his feet. 

Badboyhalo looks over his shoulder at the nearest escape. Then he looks back at the Angel, who stretches his arms with a lazy yawn. He meekly follows his captor. 

++++

Antfrost and Skeppy search the bridges and alleys frantically for Bad. Skeppy gets increasingly more and more panicked as no traces are found. "What if Dream got him??" Skeppy cries. "That fucking bastard-" He bursts into tears. "Now Bad will never yell at me again!!" 

Antfrost growls low in his throat. He's grown accustomed to teammates dying, but the loss still aches. "We will find Dream and make him pay." 

"Ye-yeah!" Skeppy sobs. "I don't understand, how could Bad let himself be defeated??" 

Antfrost shakes his head. "The goddamn muffinhead shoulda taken us with him." 

"He didn't even tell us where he was going!!" Skeppy cries. "He could be literally anywhere!" 

"I will try to look." Antfrost kneels on the cold bridge and clasps his hands together. His eyes snap open, blazing golden as his cyan phylactery floats up from the silver chain around his neck. Beams of light flare and dance around his body. 

"Badboyhalo." He hums and Io hums with him. "I am Antfrost, Speaker for the Dead. I summon you. Badboyhalo!" 

Skeppy stares at Antfrost, never failing to be amazed every time the former Spirit of Death taps into his lingering power. Antfrost's white and gold outfit glistens with diamond dew, setting off the cyan accents of the sharp holographic wings fluttering behind him. 

"We can't find him." Punz murmurs through the invisible portal to Hel's gates. 

"He's not here," Fundy confirms. 

"We will search for him." Purpled promises. 

Tears bead in Antfrost's eyes. He struggles to close the portal and cut off his power. His dead friends give him spectral hugs, then retreat once more to whatever afterlives they've chosen. His eyes flicker closed as he collapses weakly to the ironwood planks. 

Skeppy wails as he picks up Antfrost. "Don't die!!" 

"I'm not dead, you idiot." Antfrost snaps with his remaining strength. "Just, just let me rest." 

When he finally gets up the steps he’s confronted by a sight that’s equal parts horrifying and hilarious. There’s a dragon sitting up on it’s haunches in the middle of the computers and equipment, and it’s sneezing. Jets of fire shooting across the room every time it does. Dick is looking absolutely frantic and helpless, while Damian sits on the desk just out of the range of the fire looking very nonchalant all things considered. “What the fuck?”

Dick glances over at him. “Don’t just stand there! Help!”

“How the hell am I supposed to--” Jason ducks again as another blast of flame flies over his head. Seriously this is ridiculous. This doesn’t look like it’s getting any better and with Dick apparently useless, Jason does the only thing he can think of, he grabs the nearest fire extinguisher – there’s always a few in the cave, never can be too careful and all that –  and sprays the dragon’s snout.

Look at that. Crisis averted. The day is saved thanks to Jason Todd yet again but will he get any credit for it?

“Jason!”

Of course not.

“What?” Jason says as he sets the extinguisher down. “I helped, I don’t see the problem.”

Dick of course sees the problem. He always sees problems. Especially when it comes to Jason, but that’s a sore spot for another time. “You could have hurt him! There’s no way of knowing what putting out his fire like that would do!”

The dragon, wiping the foam off its snout, rolls its eyes and all of the sudden, Jason knows why Dick’s freaking out. He kinda wants to laugh, but also-- “A dragon? Fucking seriously?”

As the dragon gives Jason a look that banishes any doubt that it’s the replacement under all those black and red scales, Dick sighs, like Jason’s making everything more difficult. Then he just leans against a counter, apparently resigned, and says, “Be nice, Jay. Tim’s had a rough day.”

“He’s had--” Jason groans and honestly, yeah, he should have expected this kind of shit from somebody with the last name ‘Drake’ and a penchant for pissing off magical entities. Still he thinks he can be forgiven for losing some tact in the surprise of walking into the cave to find a goddamn, ten foot long dragon sneezing fire across the room, thanks. “Just… just tell me what happened.”

Dick looks at Tim and Tim just huffs as he wipes away the last of the foam. Shrugging Dick turns back to Jason. “Tim had a run in with something magical and now he’s a dragon for some reason we’re not sure of.”

“The pun would be my guess,” Jason supplies, which gets him a low growl from Tim and a look of confusion from Dick. Grinning, Jason tilts his head towards Tim, “I mean it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think that something magical would know our real names so…”

It takes a moment for Dick to get it, but the realization is met with a bark of rueful laughter. “Great, magic with a sense of humor. God help us all.”

“So, what sort of magic thing was it?” Jason asks as he walks closer to Tim.

Looking more than a little miffed, Dick responds, “We don’t know, because Tim was Tim and decided not to let anybody else in on the whole ‘going after a magical entity be back for dinner hopefully not as a dragon’ adventure.”

Wow, shade thrown at somebody who isn’t Jason? Somebody needs to be marking this date. Jason decides not to acknowledge that, not worth the inevitable complaining and instead focuses on another interesting fact. “So… I take it Replacement can’t talk in this form, huh?”

Before Dick can respond to that, Damian, who’s been curiously absent from the conversation up until now, finally deigns to speak up. “Indeed. It has been a welcome reprieve from his usual, useless prattle. Almost worth putting up with his ineptitude with the fire breath.”

Tim’s head whips around and embers begin mixing with the smoke rising from his nostrils again. Not good. Jason reaches out quick and grabs Tim’s jaws holding them closed as best he can, while scolding, “Hey! Whoa, yeah, none of that shit. Pretty sure literally roasting the preteen is only hilarious in theory. Cool it, baby bird.”

Despite narrowing his eyes a bit and snorting a few small flames from his nose, Tim doesn’t fight Jason’s grip, possibly conceding the point. Slowly, Jason lets go and though Tim does curl his lip at Damian, showing off an impressive row of teeth, he doesn’t actually blast the brat so Jason counts it as a win.

Damian snarls right back at Tim like he thinks his display has anywhere near the same impact and that’s just adorable. Well, it would be, if he weren’t goading an actual dragon directly after Jason just prevented him from getting crispy-fried. Some gratitude. “Pathetic as usual, Drake. Even in a form where you have all the power you defer to Todd of all people! Shamef--”

“Enough!” Dick orders, all commanding and Batman-y, as Tim starts to growl again. “Both of you.”

Immediately, Tim and Damian turn so they aren't facing each other, still stubbornly refusing to look even a little apologetic after being reprimanded. And here Jason thought he was the petty one. Learning new shit all over the place today. “So, what’s the plan for getting Timbit back to his normal, less fiery self?”

Dick shrugs. “Bruce went to check in with our local magic users to see if any of them can figure it out. Until he gets back our orders are to sit tight and make sure Tim doesn’t start… hoarding things or something.”

“I see…” Jason grins at Tim, getting a wary glare in response. “What’d ya say, Replacement? You feel like you’re going to start hoarding coffee?”

Tim lets out a loud groan and covers his face with his talons.

“Or maybe Sherlock Holmes novels?… No wait! I know! Workloads! We’ll turn our backs for five seconds and you’ll be lounging on top of a mound of case files you stole from the rest of us, won’t ya?”

Dick smiles a little. “I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t already tried to break out and abduct a princess.”

“That’s because all the princesses we know could kick his ass, dragon form or no dragon form.” Jason sits down next to Tim on the floor and slings an arm over the scaled shoulders. “Betcha Super-Teen would let you kidnap him if we asked though, so, ya know, back up plan.”

Abruptly Tim lifts his head and turns so his snout is only inches from Jason’s face.

“Wha--?”

Before Jason can finish his question, Tim opens his jaws and exhales. There’s no flames but Jason gets a face-full of something just as bad. Warm, humid breath that smells distinctly of sulfur and charcoal.

Quickly Jason rolls away from the smell, hacking and coughing… maybe laughing just a little. “Fucking hell, baby bird! Ugh, just torch me next time, it’d be more humane. Damn, brush you’re teeth or something!”

Tim of course just looks smug. Because he’s a little shit.