something i love about tma is john's pattern of tossing and turning over his guilt to the point of constant self-sacrifice at every turn, but for all he tears himself up over the things outside his control, he's chronically allergic to fixing or changing the things in his control, and no matter how he dresses it up, he still has his s1 jerkass tendencies. in fact his position of even more tangible power in s5 makes them even more obvious
his tendency to look down on people he deems "crazy" in s1 has not actually left at all in s5. because dude what the hell was THIS
(and i also love how good tma is at getting us into his head, because we're so used to Knowing All The Lore(tm) that i can imagine we're meant to feel the same way john does here, at least as a knee-jerk reaction, instead of, "oh god is this woman okay?")
