she’s been dead to the world before, but never like this.

this darkness, forced upon her by kylo ren, doesn’t drape around her like a cloak. it chokes her breaths and swirls around her body like a living thing. something about it seems to understand that she’s here against her will, but it doesn’t make her surroundings any more accommodating or gentle. rey truly feels like a rag doll, tossed about in the whims of this writhing blackness. but she fights against it anyway, because she can. everything in her life has been a battle, and this will be too. if she can fight, there’s always a chance she might win.

maybe hours pass, maybe minutes, but she’s resisted against her unconsciousness by breathing as willfully as humanly possible and willing her blinded eyes to see something, anything. anything to assure her that she’s still real. still alive. then, at last, there’s a small victory: stars. at least she thinks they’re stars. the tiny pinpricks of light wink at her from light years away and she feels the first modicum of peace since looking finn in the face and knowing he had her back. now that rey can see something familiar, part of her relishes drifting through this strange space, weightless, surrounded by reminders of light. it’s in this new state that something inside calls out to the void, the part of her that always longed to know if there was more to the universe than just jakku. more than people running away from desert planets. more than dust and heat and loneliness. more to her.

         i’ve always wondered if anything more was out there. maybe i’ll never know. i just didn’t want to be alone. that was all i ever wanted. 

                                                    just tell me i’m not alone.