#lulukin

Me: sobs uncontrollably over 1000 Words and every other Yuna / Tidus moment in both games

This was originally meant to be a birthday message- that's as good a reason as any to send in a long letter, n'est-ce pas? (Sorry if you aren't bilingual in this life. "N'est-ce pas" just doesn't sound right translated to English.) But then it got away from me, as my writing always has, and turned into something that has absolutely nothing to do with your birthday. But this blog (fictionkinfessions) is still the most likely place for you to see my letter. Now, I'm aware this letter will probably be completely incomprehensible to everyone. But if M sees it, I'm sure he will understand. Now, onto the actual letter.

M, I miss you very much. My life wasn't very happy back then, but you made it worth living. When we were really little, neither of us had any friends except each other. I stayed friendless as we grew older, and you made friends with basically everyone in town, but you still preferred to be with me rather than your other friends. Whether I was busy babysitting, just taking a walk through the forest, reorganizing my library, playing sports, or anything else, you stayed by my side. Neither of us really defined our relationship, but we didn't have to, and we spent our whole lives together. That's probably why I miss you so much more than anyone else from any of my kin canons, n'est-ce pas? You and I... sure, I've had lives that were longer, but never a companion that stayed with me that long. Most of my memories from that life involve you in some way.

I'm deeply sorry for how cruel and manipulative I was back then. Granted, I was cruel and manipulative to everyone- it was one of the reasons you were my only friend- and I was a lot less cruel and manipulative to you than I was to everyone else. But I was still cruel and manipulative to you, and you were sweet, and kind, and innocent, and you didn't deserve to be caught up in the messed up dynamic I had with the other people in town. Back then, you had unshakable faith in me, but I'm constantly terrified that the current you will remember how I acted and think of me as irredeemable. I swear I tried as hard as I could to be kinder to you than I was to everyone else, and I succeeded, but my treatment of everyone else meant that "kinder to you than I was to everyone else" was miles below any well-adjusted person's standard for treating someone decently. I genuinely don't know how you put up with me for that long, or why you did it willingly. You could just have easily ditched me for your other friends. But you didn't. You liked me. You loved me. And I loved you too, M. I still love you. I hope that when you remember me, you remember the good times.