#luckydad

One of the many things I am sincerely thankful for is my sons.

Being a parent can be stressful, exhausting, expensive and often thankless but the upside outweighs any struggle... I can't imagine my life without my boys.

Hug your kids. Tell them how much they mean to you. Not just today, or Thanksgiving but every day.

I recall reading once that a successful father is one that helps his children become what he had hoped to become. That resonated with me. So to try and guide my sons to become better men than their dad, I took them on a roadtrip to the coast, essentially trapping them in the car with me for hours. We chatted argued discussed movies, music and which Timbit was the greatest, and when the eventual lull struck, I simply asked what they thought made up a ‘man’ in their eyes?

I’ll spare you the details but it boiled down to this - lots of money, nice ride, kicks ass and more ass than a toilet seat. Exactly what I expected.

At this point I introduced my acronym in hopes it would succinctly stress the point that they were both way off base and hopefully help them remember what actually constituted a ‘man’.

R.E.A.L.M.A.N.

Pretty clever if I don’t say do myself.

Long story short it peaked their interest enough to turn down the music and listen to the ol’ man for a tick.

“First off, the difference between a boy and a man is that men don’t make excuses and try to wiggle out of a commitment. Reliable. R. He sincerely cares about people. Often more than himself. E is for empathetic. A is accountability. Own your shit. Stop blaming others, just fix it. Be loyal. It’s that simple. L. Loyalty. Manners. You will be surprised how far a please and thank you will take you. ‘Pardon me’ not ‘huh’. Manners and gratitude, sons. M. The other A is for appreciation. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate how fortunate you are. And those few nuggets of wisdom will hopefully help you become better men than me.

“Dad, you forgot N.”

“Actually I didn’t forget. I left it off to prove a point. To let you know that I don’t confess to know everything. I couldn’t possibly predict the hurdles and setbacks you will face in the future. To show you that I can only provide you with part of what you need to be better men. I left it off for you to discover on your own. Your own personal definition of a ‘real man’.”

It was then my youngest looked at me and smiled, “Nutella!”

“Pardon?... that’s your N?”

“No, but it would be a kick ass Timbit!”