NO RELATIONSHIP IS A FAILURE WHEN WE CHOOSE TO GROW.
We often carry a sense of shame or failure when a relationship ends. But that mindset destroys our self worth. My darlings, there is so much “gold” to mine even from the most destructive relationships…(oh yes I said it!) It starts by asking : What am I meant to learn?
Here’s 6 tips to help change your mindset from negative loss and failure to positive self esteem ….
1. People don’t belong to us. We often feel that once we are in a commitment relationship that person “belongs” to us. But people aren’t possessions. Good relationships aren’t about control, obsession or ownership. We cannot control another’s behaviour. The best we can do is to communicate and create boundaries for respect, trust and self-love.
2. We are already whole. Relationships aren’t about merging identities and forgetting about our own needs, desires and dreams. Looking for validation outside ourselves sets us up for co-dependency. It’s a highly anxious state to give our power away and place our happiness at the mercy of another person.
3. Relationships cannot make us happy if we aren’t happy with ourselves. We might feel great at the beginning and then our old insecurities and dependencies creep back in. The remedy is to learn to love ourselves first then we can just enjoy our partner without needing them to fix a big hole within.
4. We can only change ourselves. Let’s no longer fool ourselves into thinking we can transform our partner. And sweetheart, if we are feeling desperate for someone to change, let’s ask ourselves why we’re with someone who needs so much fixing?
5. Some relationships are simply here to teach us about ourselves. Relationships reflect the relationship we have with ourselves. Some poke at our unhealed fears and anxieties. The “gold” is recognising no-one else can heal us. Only we can.
6. All Relationships help us grow and evolve. Sometimes the purpose is to test us or to teach us. Some will use you and others will bring the best out in you.
And that’s the question to ask ourselves as relationships end….. What did I learn ? From there we are empowered…
COMMENT “QUEEN” below to stand in solidarity together for the solution to the Relationship you want and a life that fulfils you.
I have a few spaces left at my free Masterclass “How To Be Queen in Your Relationships”.
Claim your seat today before they go: www.lisamagdalena.com