#lovedhim

🙌🎶🖤✨🌈 #Phouse #lovedhim #90sparty (at Parliament House Orlando)

I was in love with him. I  do know that. He didn't love me, he didn't care for me, I was nothing to him. But I was in love with him. I can't tell you what love is, don't ask me, I don't have the answer. It can be throwin' yourself into the fire for someone, takin' a bullet for them, takin' care of them, healin' their wounds, lettin' them be free, or writing about them in silence for a fuckin' lifetime. There are a thousand ways of loving people, a thousand ways of feeling, a thousand ways of carin' about someone. I'm sure of that. And I don't know what kind of love was the one I felt that day, I can't explain it. But I know, for sure, like I know the sky is blue or the sun rises from the east, that I loved him. No one can't take that  from me. It was mine. I loved him. I loved him with everything I had, with everything I was. And I know it was a suicidal act, being a kamikaze in the middle of a highway, a fuckin' lost battle. Because he wasn't gonna love me. Never. Not only in the way I wanted him to love be, but in any way. I was an insignificant being for him, an useless human, an unimportant silly girl that didn't matter. And I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. It hurt like a thousand knives piercing my chest, like a million blades cuttin' my flesh. But I wouldn't change a thing. Because I loved him. And when you love someone and they don't love you back, that love is the truest love ever. It hurts so much to be anything else. Yes, that was my love. And he couldn't change it.