#lost trust

Grateful for the lesson, thank you. ✌🏼♥️

Once upon a time, I swore I had a heart Long before the world I know tore it all apart Once upon a time, there was a part of me I shared Years before they took away the part of me that cared

Been a thousand places And shook a million hands I don't know where I'm going But I know just where I've been I've flown a million miles And I've rode so many more Every day, a castaway, a vagabond Battle-born

I'm battle-born

Once upon a time, I had an open point of view But that was just so long ago, before I had a clue Was there such a time where I didn't stand alone? Was there ever a time, and how would I have known?

Been a thousand places And shook a million hands I don't know where I'm going But I know just where I've been I've flown a million miles And I've rode so many more Every day, a castaway, a vagabond Battle-born

Attention, all passengers: Flight 555 now departing from Las Vegas to London Please have your passports and boarding passes ready

I've been a thousand places And shook a million hands I don't know where I'm going But I know just where I've been I've flown a million miles And I've rode so many more Every day, a castaway, a vagabond Battle-born

I've been a thousand places And shook a million hands (Battle-born) I don't know where I'm going But I know just where I've been (Battle-born)

I've flown a million miles And I've rode so many more Every day, a castaway, a vagabond Battle-born

I'm battle-born I'm battle-born

Every day, a castaway, a vagabond Battle-born

Battle-born

つづく ( To be continued... )

Trust is everything I need to live on I dont know how to gain it back… I lost trust in my husband, in my surrounding people, in this society, I lost trust in this world…. in everyone who is close to me.. By writing this, I blogged for couple of years and got this ‘solution’ which I don’t know it is a good one or bad one: you can’t change anything, but yourself. So I am changing myself…

full of steaming pressure

of anger

and abomination

hear me whistle

softly at first

dont make me look at my fragility

dont tell me im stupid for trying

to hold scorching hot burden

when i know my skin is nothing like steel

i know.

the heat is rising

s l o w l y

THENALLATONCE!

hear me whistle

with rising voice

this is nothing. i’ve overcame worst.

this is nothing. nothing i can’t stomach

though my insides are churning

and boiling and about to burst.

this. is. nothing.

And you were there standing.

Finally.

hear me whistle SCREAM!

at the top of my lungs!

I waited for you my dear!

I can now be set free!

I can finally,

finally, let go.

and i feel myself cracking

s l o w l y

THENALLATONCE!

ah, the most awaited breath of air

And so I looked at you.

not waiting for you to fix me.

not waiting for you to even pick me up.

just resting in the peace that you will see

at the pieces that are broken

maybe feel the heat that was

brewing inside me for so long

at least emerge in the torment

of pain covered in hatred

Then there you went and stepped on every crystal shards that was left of me, and you went.

if that kind of mess is worth stepping on at; and

if that kind of mess is worth stepping out on

then thank goodness, that’s all i let you see.