#long post--

— what was your last…

1. drink: water 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: my best friend 4. song you listened to: Rollercoaster by Bleacers 5. time you cried: the other night

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it:nope  8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: lmao!!!!! yup! haha :’) 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah rip

— fave colours

12. red 13. black 14. grey

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: absolutely! 16. fallen out of love: kinda finally stopped thinking abt someone i spent last year getting over i guess 17. laughed until you cried: so many times 18. found out someone was talking about you: nope! 19. met someone who changed you: idk, not really? 20. found out who your friends are: ya it was a big deal for me 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: noot

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: like. most of them probs? dont know if ‘we’re family but you live in a different country and i’ve seen you like twice ever at the most’ counts as knowing people irl so maybe like half??? idk  23. do you have any pets: yup! lizard boyo (radagast) and a snake (merle) 24. do you want to change your name: not really. i wouldn’t mind getting it legally changed to kai or kaiya for convenience but it’s not a huge concern 25. what did you do for your last birthday: hung out with my family & my friend’s family! 26. what time did you wake up today: about 8:30am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: was en route to town for a late night maccas run w/ the bestie 28. what is something you can’t wait for: i’m getting a proper gaming laptop for my birthday this month! 30. what are you listening to right now: old jenna & julien podcasts 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: living with my parents sdhjkdfsd

33. most visited website: youtube & nexus 34. hair colour: purple  35. long or short hair: super short! i got it cut & coloured last week in a julien-esque style and i LOVE it

36. do you have a crush on someone: yep yep yep yep yep yep yep oh god

37. what do you like about yourself: i mean??? other than the debilitating depression what is there that’s NOT to like?? i’m fucking iconic nicknames: kai, kaiya  41. relationship status: completely in love and have not told her anything beyond ‘i would 100% date you if you were up for it lol’ so sfhujksdfs prayer circle for me to get my shit together and come clean 42. sign: aries 43. pronouns: eh (they/them mostly. she is alright? idk i dont really care) 44. fave tv show: of all time, bbc merlin. right now, queer eye  45. tattoos: one so far 46. right or left handed: right 47: ever had surgery: nah 48. piercings: three, all in my ears 49. sport: i used to play netball and i miss it a lot but it’s not fun anymore so no thank 50. vacation: probably europe idk 51. trainers: what about them??? i rly just wear the same pair of ratty sneakers every time i leave the house

— more general

52. eating: nothing but last thing i ate was a potato 53. drinking: water 54. i’m about to watch: just finished up watching some jenna & julien podcasts and now im going to bed 55. waiting for: being asleep im so keen 56. want: to move out and live w/ my friends 57. get married: maybe? i’d do it as long as i didn’t have to say vows in front of a crowd or anything. no thanks. cryptid wedding pls, sweep me off my feet and marry me deep in a forest somewhere where nobody can be aware of us 58. career: i dont know! bye!

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: both 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: literally do not care 62. older or younger: not too far in either direction 63. nice arms or stomach: Arm Muscles™ 64. hookup or relationships: either. both. open relationships. 65. troublemaker or hesitant: u mean: big anxiety vs uncontrollable need to be insufferable

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yup 68. turned someone down: don’t remember 69. sex on first date: nope 70: broken someone’s heart: not that i know of 71. had your heart broken: yeah 72. been arrested: no 73. cried when someone died: yes 74. fallen for a friend: :’)))))))))))))))))

— do you believe in

75. yourself: yeppity yep 76. miracles: eh. kind of. im pretentious and fake deep but i like to believe in people and choices more than Miracles™ 77. love at first sight: not really but my track record is exclusively falling for best friends so who knows, maybe some people do have love at first sight 78. santa claus: nah 79. angels: no.

— misc

80. eye colour: blue 81. best friend’s name: krista 82. favourite movie: return of the king 83. favourite actor: god idk. katie mcgrath maybe

84. favourite cartoon: avatar last airbender yes laura!! 85. favourite teacher’s name: kim, she was the teacher librarian at my primary school and she used to pull me out of class to show me the newest harry potter movie trailers and news and stuff sdjfksfgfj

MEU DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU UNLEASHED. IM SO IN LOVE WITH HEATHERS

heathers is my current hyperfixation i love it so much the soundtrack is SO GOOD and although it does have dirty/extreme songs [Blue should just be cut from the track imo it could’ve been accomplished with just a scene and it makes me so uncomfortable but not in the good way]

i love the general story of heathers and it really speaks to me,, it’s the one thing i can think of that’s the best example of media being driven by the idea of suicide. but you know why? no one actually commits suicide. the “successful suicides” are MURDERS and the one suicide attempts FAILS both in the movie and the musical. it’s practically rubbed in your face that SUICIDE IS BAD AND SO IS MURDER.

veronica’s design along with the colours for the heathers are REALLY NICE and i love that even canonically veronica isn’t the prettiest girl [lookit me, i may have a perfect face but i’m chubby- it’s hinted that she may be as well]

hell there could even be SYMBOLISM of the three heathers. heather chandler is red because red is the closest colour to evil/hell/power. heather duke is green because green is ENVY and she shows that throughout the musical and movie that she is ENVIOUS of heather chandler. hell, her introduction scene is includes the line “paid for implants”. heather mcnamara is yellow because yellow is sunshine, is innocence, is joy, and that is what she SHOWS until that is DESTROYED by the death of chandler and the bullying from the whole school. she’s a cheerleader, HEAD cheerleader,  and that’s CHEER. that’s YELLOW.

jd’s character in the musical is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN THE MOVIE. i don’t stan for him because he is still fucked up and needed a lot of mental health, but in the musical i love the addition of him actually being in love with veronica. he’s distraught when he loses her, and he resolves to do the one thing that his dad taught him to do as coping: blow stuff up. he’s much more 3D to me than in the movie, in the movie he’s very flat but in a still entertaining flat.

heather m is very obviously a lesbian i mean she’s. she’s a sun lesbian and she’s probably in love with veronica and i love the idea that veronica dates heather m after she graduates and she goes to a closer college to spend time with her girlfriends heather m and martha

the whole musical is written very accurately to the movie itself, and they made a smart move making martha and betty finn one character, it fits much better than when i watch the movie and find myself not caring about matha as much as i do listening to her soundtrack and listening to “Kindergarten Boyfriend”. even now even though i’ve heard it dozens of times i still love it so much it brings me to tears. hell not to mention they don’t try to MODERNISE the musical either, even though it was made 22 years after the original. the references made, the music, the outfits, are ALL VERY 80S and that’s SO IMPORTANT. even if they missed out on the adorable outfits veronica wears throughout the movie, the costumes are on point, and VERY 80S.

the concept of heathers makes a very good au too as long as you don’t romanticise the relationship of jd and veronica. jd and veronica’s relationship is iffy to begin with and at the end of it it’s fucked up and abusive. 

at the end of the day, no one in that musical is perfect, either. besides the obvious flaws of JD, Chandler and Duke, every other character is imperfect in the most ugliest, realistic ways. Martha is still in love with a boy who loved her in KINDERGARTEN, veronica has her obvious issues with mistreating her friends because of popularity, McNamara stood at the sidelines while she watched her friends abusing and not stepping in, they’re all so ugly and raw after the intro song.

Not to put too fine a point on it, Daniel Swift’s piece, Hanging Out With the Italian Neo-Fascists Who Idolise Ezra Pound, is appalling. It is the careless journalism of someone who, knowing little Italian and even less about Italian politics, has conversed with fascists and regurgitated whatever they told him. The result is a completely distorted representation of what the group is about and how they operate.

The building in which Swift's interview takes place, which CasaPound militant Adriano Scianca's claims they are 'occupying', was in fact bought for them in 2012 by none other than the Mayor of Rome, using €11.8 million of local government money. The Mayor at the time was Gianni Alemanno, a man steeped in the history of Italian fascism: a leading member of the Italian Social Movement (MSI - the postwar reformation of Mussolini’s Fascist Party) and later the far-right National Alliance; even his wife, Isabella Rauti, was the daughter Pino Rauti, ex-leader of the MSI whose name crops up in relation to numerous cases of far-right terrorism, including the 1969 Piazza Fontana bombing.

Gianni Alemanno’s son, Manfredi, would follow in his father’s far-right footsteps: in 2011, he put himself forward as a candidate for student elections at his college for Blocco Studentesco, the youth wing of CasaPound. Two years previously, after throwing Roman salutes and getting into a fight at a party, Manfredi was protected from prosecution by police with connections to his dad.

So the idea of these guys as a plucky, if rough-round-the-edges, group of rebels doing their bit for the community against all odds is laughable. They’re a far-right gang with links to both fascist terrorists and the highest echelons of Italian politics.

More interestingly, however, is how Swift depicts the group’s activity: they “arrange conferences” on Ezra Pound, the modernist poet they are named after; they house “20 homeless families”; “they collect used syringes from parks in poor neighborhoods”; “they clean bike paths”. The only mention of violence comes from a “CasaPound supporter” who, in 2011, killed two Senegalese traders in Florence. From this description, the impression is of a group engaged in cultural activities and local volunteering albeit with the odd wayward sympathiser.

And yet, the reality could not be further from the truth. To cite some examples from this year alone: in February, a group of at least 15 CasaPound militants attacked one young man after he posted a meme mocking the group on Facebook. Over the summer, uniformed CasaPound members prowled the Central Italian seaside, harassing migrant beach vendors and forcing them to leave. And even last Tuesday, the very day Swift’s article went on the Lit Hub website, Roberto Spada, related to the Spada crime family thought to control Ostia, on the outskirts of Rome, brutally assaulted a journalist who had been asking him about his support for CasaPound.

So it’s curious that for an organisation for which racism and violence are such frequent features of their activity, that so little mention would be made of that racism and violence. When Swift mentions CasaPound are housing “20 homeless families who have nowhere else to go,” he neglects to mention the proviso on which that charity is based: whites only. The ethno-nationalist underpinnings don’t get a mention and it is (to be charitable) frankly bizarre why this is so.

Even more bizarrely, Swift spends less time talking about the violence and racism of a notoriously violent racist group than he does talking about how much he enjoyed their restaurant.

Quote:

At a corner we meet a couple of other men—beards, clipped hair, grins—and we duck into the shade of an open-fronted restaurant. It looks like any other in Rome—white tablecloths, photos of minor celebrities who have eaten here—except all the waiters have tattoos up their forearms, and except that at the end, after cold antipasti, a heavy tagliatelle all’Amatriciana with fat nuggets of bacon swimming in the sauce, red wine from a carafe, bitter brown digestivo, and coffee, no bill ever came. What we are doing, Seb tells me as we eat, is not connected to money.

Waiters with tattoos, fabulous food, fine wine. And what’s this? No bill? These fascists are generous as well as cultured! Il Duce, you're really spoiling us!

Reading the article, it seems Swift is bending over backwards to sanitise the reputations of as many fascists as he can. Swift discusses Pound's Canto 72, written as the Nazi-backed Republic of Salò was in a state of collapse and where a dead fascist general says "I don't want to go to paradise, I want to continue to fight. I want your body, with which I could still make war". While noting Canto 72 has often been seen as the "smoking gun" of Pound's fascism (with good reason, in my opinion), Swift is "not sure", claiming to see "odd hesitations" in the poem. What these are, he doesn't say. But it's worth highlighting Mark Ford's point that as late as 1956 Pound was still spewing fascist bile, writing that “the fuss about ‘de‑segregation’ in the United States has been started by Jews”. Of course, Swift knows this. What's utterly baffling is why he doesn't point this out in his article.

And yet, you can’t help but feel Swift's article is based around what he feels is the ‘novelty’ of the situation; but that novelty is actually based on two entirely false premises. First, the idea that fascists are the working class, the downtrodden masses. And second, that the working class lack the culture to read (let alone write) literature.

Both premises are obviously and demonstrably false. Swift says he wasn’t expecting CasaPound’s “high-mindedness”; yet, fascists have always found support among artists and intellectuals. Gabriele D’Annunzio and Luigi Pirandello, two of the most famous Italian writers of the twentieth century, were both fascists from wealthy backgrounds.

Equally, the idea of the working class as some uncultured blob is also false. Working-class people not only appreciate literature but have produced a wealth of it; whether Elio Vittorini, anti-fascist resistance fighter and son of a rail worker, or the Proletarian Literature movement in Britain which produced writers like James Barke, Lewis Grassic Gibbon, James Hanley and George Garrett.

So what we have with Swift’s article is an academic who was pleasantly surprised by the "high-mindedness" of some fascists when he should know that the 'high-minded' (or at least a section of them) have always been drawn to fascism.

And when he imagined their 'low-mindedness', who do you think he was expecting? Not posh students with links to Rome's political elite (a very real element of CasaPound’s demographic). No, he was expecting working-class men with sloping brows and dragging knuckles who could hardly string a sentence together let alone have opinions about poetry.

Ultimately, Swift seems to have really taken to CasaPound. He “warmly” shakes hands with Scianca after their interview and they agree to exchange copies of their books. Later, describing the farewells at end of his meal, he says,

Quote:

As we stand to leave I offer to shake hands with the waiter and he reaches out his right hand, with the tortoise on the forearm, and he grasps my arm just above the wrist, and smiles. We are close, this waiter and I; and for that instant bound in a frozen gesture, and even as it was strange and abrupt, it was also familiar. This is the Roman handshake I had read about.

It’s clear from these quotes that CasaPound’s activists are supposed to be sympathetic characters in Swift’s story; their benevolence has been amplified, their vices turned all the way down. The absolute wanton irresponsibility of an article like this when far-right nationalism is seeing a surge in popularity across Europe and North America is abundantly clear but perhaps some people need it spelt out for them: fascists are in a coalition government in Austria; they have entered German parliament for the first time since the war; they are killing people on trains and at demonstrations and have set up militias in America; their extremism is increasingly turning into the talking points and policies of mainstream politics. Now is not the time to be writing puff pieces about how charming they are and how interesting their take on Ezra Pound is.

A lot of people have talked about how slowly some things are ran on Aywas- it really is a problem, and I’ve experienced it myself, but it usually doesn’t bother me so much. Honestly, I’m here to talk about the incredibly obvious favoritism towards particular artists that Aywas displays.

First up, let me talk about my friend, Ringor Mortis. Rin’s body of work on Aywas included some Eggnog breedings, a handful of Faux sets, and a bit of MDT + GCC work. I... haven’t seen anyone complain much about the Fauxes and MDT/GCC stuff, but when they did Eggnogs in late 2015/early 2016, their work got some nasty comments (I can’t find the post, but someone had literally said "[their art is]...downright ugly and repugnant..."). Not only that, but over ten months later, the mods suddenly demanded that Rin do breeding fixes on some of the eggnog babies?

(breeding mistake thread post from 2/18/16) (mod request from 12/30/16)

Special notice to the little note at the end of the mod PM - thanks for telling your artist that someone had outright deleted the eggnog they made, I guess.

Next up, while it’s still maybe a bit fresh on everyone’s minds, I’m gonna remind you guys: you harrassed Lubird out of PBC because they wanted to spend less time on their shading for what it was being paid? That’s really not something worth harrassing someone out of the community for. Come on. Don’t tell artists not to be greedy or selfish or whatever when they’re just trying to make a living and the work they’re doing is objectively being underpaid.

Especially don’t do that if you’re making an exception for the artists you like more. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t see a SINGLE complaint when Pathos/Snaphound drastically simplified his art style, specifically so he could make PBCs faster? Speaking of which, anyone remember when he made a site kernal and it was flipped the wrong way, and uh, it actually got accepted like that and wasn’t fixed for a little while? That was silly. It’s silly that the staff is so eager to jump on his art like that, while simultaneously dragging their feet on telling Rin that their lineart is too “pixellated”.

I’m also still mad about something regarding Pathos and an aywas skype group a few years ago, but I don’t know that I want to get into the details because I’m willing to bet talking about it would get me in trouble onsite, even though as far as I can tell Pathos never got punished by the site mods for it, gee i wonder why~ (don’t come at me with hot takes about callout culture or anything regarding this, i’m super disinterested in hearing anyone else defend him. i already was personal witness to three users defending him by way of threatening to call out a confused kid when this Event happened, i don’t need anyone else actively proving that they’re garbage.)

There’s also a lot of other random bits of ~drama~ that I’ve seen that, were, never actually resolved in any way... how many times have we seen users being casually racist or ableist, and how many times have we seen someone call them out and then get beat down for “causing drama” or whatever god just writing this paragraph made me really tired, i’m done with this, i’m out.

aw man i got so many ocs and mst of em aint even got names or nothin but since you asked after i posted that pic ill talk a little bit abt lucifer

its like this; what if all the abrahamic lore we know about got mega twisted somehow and the story was really like this

god and all his angels exist on another planet, and god was creating life on this planet in a way that went beyond yknow biological reproduction, god was creating human beings as a source of power more or less? 

lucifer was a part of this creation process in that he took care of each iteration of human god and his brothers tried to create he nutured them and he had to see them fail and die and he got tired of it. he stole the most recent model of human child (starseed?) and made off with a lot of the research because he loved the human so unconditionally he was willing to be cast our to give them a peaceful, free life

his brother came after him and maimed his wings but lucifer still made it to earth. he raised this kid with help of a lot of other earth bound creatures/entities/beings that we now think of diety types ourselves. 

as the human grew older he was so enthused by this freedom, the freedom earth had and the freedom his son had that he didnt want it to end so he made another human this time in his image, with the mentality of freedom and truth ect so they they could grow into their own species

things eventually get really messy because over generations and generations the humans just hate and hate and hate so so much, they hate him, and this is because his brothers and father meddle with their lore and perceptions a lot, and twisted things a whole bunch. in the end, lucifer eventually has to make a home for all of the tormented souls that die full of hate and rage and shit and thats when his image starts getting REALLY ugly, thats where he really begins to fail, because he just wanted to provide a place for these restless souls but his family uses that as a fear tactic to draw humans closer and closer towards “what god intended”

anyway this while situation is based on two spiritual theories that ive come across; one being basically “what if satan is the good guy” and the other (which my mom actually believes???) which is basically like, aliens deposited us here on earth and we’re all descended from some kind of alien and angels are a type of alien.

If you are haunted by a relationship, if it’s negatively affected you, if you cannot function as well or are struggling to function as well as you did before the relationship,

it was abusive.

It doesn’t matter if at some point it was a good relationship. It doesn’t matter if the other person/side did not mean to act that way.

It was still abusive.

It’s okay to not feel comfortable labeling it as such publicly.

But even if it was a friendship or a minor relationship.

If you were negatively impacted from it to the point that you have flashbacks and get into panic attacks about it, if you have triggers due to it,

it was abusive.

No matter how much that person meant to you.

Files this guy under ‘characters that could totally 100% be Original but no I’m shoving them into a fandom’

Stuff in this is probably subject to change once I’ve seen a playthrough of Color Splash oops

Name: Beau (French for ‘handsome’, also similar to ‘Bow’ and ‘Rainbow’, where he gets design inspiration from)

Age: 26

Alignment: Chaotic Good

History

Formerly a regular old resident of Prism Island, Beau was happy-go-lucky and a free spirit--Not to say he isn’t one now! However, he wasn’t sure what to do with his life. He typically would just wander around the island, seeing what each place he came across had to offer.

However, one day, Beau did something to mess with the Big Paint Stars. What exactly, he can’t really remember. Perhaps he was just messing around like he usually did and got into trouble.

But the results were something to behold! His previously drab coloring was given a boost, and he now wore a large rainbow-colored bow on his head!

Beau isn’t sure why this happened, but he’s amused by the affects. Previously able to shapeshift in a variety of things, he can now change his disguises’ color as he pleases, providing the perfect camouflage!

Beau now explores Prism Island with even more energy than before, spreading the joy of color wherever he goes!

Personality

Beau is the clear-cut definition of optimistic. He never sees a situation as bad, and always makes suggestions on how to turn things around--As ridiculous as they may seem. Late for school? Chase your cat into a tree so you can call the fire department for your excuse! 

This personality can actually wear on people, along with his seemingly endless energy, so he isn’t exactly the type to make introverted friends. He doesn’t seem to mind, though! As long as he can make people happy, he’s happy!

The downside to this positive outlook is that he tends to simplify things too much, and get himself into trouble without realizing it. Sometimes he doesn’t realize he’s in trouble until he’s completely surrounded by enemies!

Abilities

Shapeshifting

He’s always had this ability. Beau is able to transform into any person or creature he wants, but he will always have his rainbow bowtie visible when doing so. As such, he rarely uses it to disguise himself as another person--He prefers animals, specifically rabbits.

After being ‘colorized’, he can change the overall colors of his disguises, helping him blend in better.

Color Changing