on trevor’s childhood trauma & the abuse inflicted on him (warning for discussion of nearly all types of abuse, including csa)
trevor’s parents (including his step fathers and his mother’s boyfriends) all inflicted horrific abuse on him. his mother, in particular, was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. she also manipulated him with sparse and brief instances of affection, which was all he received from anyone as a child, thus is what established his dependence on her. this also separated her in his mind from other abusive figures, as opposed to the way he views his father(s).
she would tell him that he is useless, stupid, “should have been aborted”, that he can’t do anything right, and criticized him for not being masculine enough; as an adult, she tells him he is not a “real man”. she also guilt-tripped him into feeling as though he was inadequate as a son by calling him selfish and accusing him of not loving her enough, or not doing enough to help her. if he had any sort of outburst (which was frequent), it was treated as though he was doing it out of malice towards her. he received minimal sympathy or comfort when upset, and on rare occasions when he did, it was short-lived and she would likely shove or strike him after when he did not immediately calm down.
she also struck him at times when he attempted initiate physical affection with her, or any time she disliked his behavior, which was often, or felt it was an effective way to manipulate him into doing what she wanted. he was frequently locked in a closet as another means of punishment. he also frequently went without basic things such as food and a comfortable place to sleep, sometimes deliberately and sometimes out of more passive neglect.
over the years, trevor’s mother abandoned him repeatedly for different periods of time, which is the main contributor to his abandonment issues. he ended up in multiple care homes throughout his childhood as a result, and a few juvenile detention facilities due to his behavioral problems, for which he received no proper attention, nor psychiatric care.
at age twelve, trevor’s father left him at a strip mall. he never saw him again; he set the mall on fire in a fit of rage. prior to this, his father was nothing but awful to him. he was verbally and physically abusive most of all, and frequently physically harmed him for little to no reason (of course there’s never a good reason to hurt a child). his physical abuse was more severe than his mother’s, and he ended up seriously injured on multiple occasions; this all contributed to the separation of his views on his father and his views on his mother, whose abuse he has justified to himself, and somewhat even fails to see as abuse.
his mother’s abusive treatment has continued all through his life, even up to now, if and when he does see her. she has been in prison until very recently, and out of fear he did not visit nor contact her in any way. he has seen her once since her release, but is not aware of her current whereabouts.
