Loki/reader. Human AU. Established relationship.
You look down at the contract your fiance slid over to you across the breakfast table. A prenuptial agreement.
You look at Loki and then back down at the contract. Some people might be angry or defiant. Loki does seem to be bracing to need to convince you to sign it.
But this doesn't make you angry and you don'r feel defiant. It just makes you sad.
You and Loki had had a solid relationship for two years and had been living together for one year. You were both happy and your relationship was based on mutual trust and respect.
Or so you had thought.
But this implies that Loki suspects you might be a greedy gold-digger. That if your relationship doesn't work out then you would try to steal from him. It implies that he thinks you might cheat on him. And it says that as you're going into marriage together he is already expecting the relationship to end.
But you know that rich, powerful men are often worried about protecting their money and assets. And Loki is richer and more powerful than most.
And you know that Loki has been hurt in the past by others who actually were greedy gold-diggers.
So, you can't really blame him. If this is what it takes to make him feel safe with you then you will do it. It's just...it hurt to think he thought you were like them after everything you had been through together.
He must have noticed your hesitance or the look on your face because when he speaks it's with a tone of gentle reassurance. But nothing he says is reassuring.
"It...it's just a formality, of course. No big deal. It's a standard contract really. When you read it that will become apparent," he says. It sounds like he is still expecting an argument or outright refusal.
But you plaster a smile on your face that you don't feel. "There's no need," you say as you pick up the pen and pull the paperwork close to you.
"No, I...I do really encourage you to read it, darling. As a lawyer, I must advise that you always read a contract in full before signing. I...I can help with the standard legalese, or if you would like to take it to another lawyer to look over I understand-"
He stops speaking as he watches you sign on the dotted line.
"I...I feel as though I should point out that there are protections for you in there as well. If I were to cheat on you I automatically forfeit half of everything to you if the marriage breaks apart as a result. If I abuse you then you get everything," Loki says.
Even though he is babbling a little, his tone isn't fast with false cheerfulness as it often is when he is trying to convince someone he cares about upsetting that this development is actually a good thing even though it might not look like it.
Instead, his tone is hesitant and unsure, as if he has been caught back on his left foot and isn't sure what to do about it.
You give him a softer smile this time and stand up from the table and give him a soft kiss that, by the way he kisses you back, you can tell he wasn't expecting to kiss.
"It's alright, honey. I understand," you say softly before pulling away to take the breakfast dishes to the sink.
"Alright...then I'll take care of the rest," he said, still with that tone like he wasn't sure what was happening right now.
"Okay. I need to get going. I have to be at work in half an hour and you know how I like to stop at Lavender Latte before I go in," you say.
"Of course, darling..." Loki says.
As you leave, he remains in his seat at the table.
Once your gone, he leans forward and puts his elbows on the table, running his hands nervously through his hair as he stares down at the offensive packet of papers.
That had gone perfectly. There had been no arguments, no anger. You had said you understood and signed the agreement. So why did he feel like such an absolute cad?
He saw your smile and the way that it didn't look like it usually did and it didn't reach your eyes. More importantly, he had seen the look on your face when you had realizes what he was showing you. He had never seen a look on your face like that before. It was so profoundly sad.
He had been ready for anger and an argument. Even perhaps a heated argument. He had been prepared for you to refuse the sign it. To throw it in his face or rip it up. To threaten to go stay with a friend until he came to his senses. To accuse him of not trusting you.
He had not been prepared for sadness and the profound hurt in your eyes and to know that he was the reason for it. It felt as though he had done something terrible to you. That he had betrayed you in some way.
Had he? He hadn't meant to. This is just what everyone he knew did when they got married. It's what his father had done with his mother.
Then again, none of his married friends had stayed married. But then that just meant it was good they had had the prenup, right?
His parents had stayed together, though. But their marriage was not what he would call a happy one.
The only person he knew who had a happy marriage that lasted more than 5 years was Thor, and Loki knew his brother hadn't had his wife sign anything except the marriage license.
But what bothered him the most was how you had clearly only signed it to please him. It reminded him of his mother in a way that he didn't want you to remind him of his mother. When had she started doing things that hurt her just to make his father happy?
His estranged sister had once told him he sounded like their father. He had been unsure how he had felt about it at the time. But now it made him sick. Was he turning into his father? In 10 years, in 20 years, would you constantly be doing things that hurt you, that diminished you and your beautiful sunshine spark that he loved so much about you, that made you question your place in his heart and his household, just to please him?
His household. It wouldn't be his. It would be yours and his together. But his father had always said that, hadn't he? His household. Never any mention of the woman that had raised his children, birthed one of them herself, raised his love children from two different women, who stood by him despite the affairs, who made the household an actual home. The woman who either loved him more than he loved her or who was too afraid to leave because she was trapped by the four corners of that prenuptial agreement she had signed when she little but a girl herself just having entered adulthood
You and Loki were of similar age and were just shy of 30, 25 and 27 to be exact, so at least he was not robbing any cradles and taking advantage of young women many years his junior, but...he still somehow felt disgusting for having you sign this thing.
You had not even read it. You showed him more trust than he had shown you. More trust than anyone else had shown him. For all you know he could have been lying about the protections he said were in it for you. He could have even put something rather heinous but legal in there. You had trusted that he had not and had signed the papers blindly.
Gods, he really was a disgusting cad, wasn't he? There were no sufficient words to describe the type of worm he felt as though he must be.
He remembered when he was young and he watched his father tell his mother that a tabloid headline was true and he had had a third affair. He hadn't understood what that meant at the time, he had been so young. But he remembered the devastation on his mother's face. He remembered her silent tears. And he remembered the way she told him it was alright and to sit down because dinner was ready. He remembered how they all ate in silence. He remembered that no one ever spoke of it again.
Was that the future he was carving out for the two of you? The very thought made him want to vomit.
