#livebig

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”

Throughout life all of us have to battle with a lot of things. As of recently I understood that my hardest battle is the battle with my own self, with my mind, with my body, with putting myself first whenever I need to or I must. 

I have been working lately at Pret, it is an international chain, that some of you may know, which sells healthy food on a fast basis. Most of the food comes fresh out of the kitchen - sandwiches, salads etc. I made the decision to start working there, because I was observing how all of the staff was always happy and smiling and it seemed to me that they feel good with themselves. And 1,2,3 and there I was working at Pret. My first day was horrendous. I was given the position of a hot chef - not something too difficult, I will say to you - the thing is, that you need training, you cannot deal with hot food without at least a few weeks of working within the company. But there I was working as a hot chef. You tell me something once and I remember it, it sticks to my mind. As of most people, they would need things to be repeated to them a looot of times, I have a fast brain that absorbs the information, because I want to grow everyday, no matter in which direction. This is also why I try to surround myself with people that help this growth ( no matter if the trying is successful, lol). My point here is that one day I was hot chef, and man, I did well. Simple coordination is what I say. Even though it has nothing to do with coordination. No one, ever, understands what I mean. 

I worked there for two weeks. I have been shouted at by superiors, that have more experience in the company, without giving a damn whether or not I am a fresh piece of meat, and even though I am good I am not God and I cannot know everything. I have cried and felt extreme mental exhaustion. I am not a weak person. I have been through a lot of things in my life and this is not the thing that will bring me down, uno. But everybody has their limit. I have been treated in ways that I do not deserve and this is not only in this company. 

Even though you will not see it in my CV, I have changed a lot of jobs, because when I am not happy I leave. When I am not treated with respect I leave. When I feel like it is a waste of my life - I leave. And now it comes to this. I have called in sick the past few days. Tomorrow I have to go to this place, before I head to my first shift at my new job, and let the manager know I will not be going back to work. And guys, I feel so damn bad. No one will respect the fact that I will put myself first. No one will give a damn about how I feel. It is not professional. But then again, I worked there 2 weeks and a half. Not long,right. Why should I make myself go through this if I am not happy?

This post is for all of you people who ask themselves on a daily basis - Is what I am doing the right thing to do? Is this going to hurt anyone? Is it going to make people uncomfortable? I can do it for another week, for another month, for another year, right?

No. The answer is No, you cannot. You need to choose YOU. You need to remember that your life is your life, and it is only one and you deserve to be happy. And if there is something that is not making you feel content you have the greatest power in the world. You have the power to change your own circumstances. DO NOT wait for that next paycheck. DO NOT wait for that next holiday, that next fight with your boss where he is telling you how you are not good enough. YOU ARE ON THIS PLANET FOR A REASON AND THIS REASON IS NOT TO BE BROUGHT DOWN BY OTHERS.

YOU ARE ON THIS PLANET TO LIVE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

YOU ARE ON THIS PLANET TO DREAM AND NOT BE SUPRESSED.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU SHOULD BE FIRST WHEREVER YOU GO AND WHATEVER YOU DO.

I LOVE YOU AND YOU SHOULD LOVE YOU TOO.

Thank you for reading this.

Love you lots,