#like idek

this was supposed to be js hardcore smut but turned out to be js like reader finding izu weird.

best friend!izu and you laying in your bed scrolling through social media, you go from tiktok to insta to other apps. Eventually you make your way to twitter more commonly known as the new porn cornucopia, mindlessly scrolling you see some funny videos a bunch of unsettling things and even tons of cute cat videos! some things are still wholesome... Izuku was quite close to you, basically spooning you as if you were his girlfriend. Or..maybe it's all in your mind and hes not actually that close..I mean his pelvis is directly up against your ass..and he is constantly shifting his hips...but I'm sure that's nothing! you can feel his breath on your ear making you shiver at the feeling.

“ y’ alright?”

you nod with a squeak and a smile at his soft voiced question, his big wide eyes making it seem as if he had true concern. he grabbed the cover at both of your legs and pulled it over the both of you, scooting closer to you as he did so calling it 'making sure you were warm'. Hes just being a good guy...

You two find more funny videos laughing and playing jokes with one another before you scroll once more and see a video, quite an inappropriate one at that. there's a girl in her knees big happy smile and wide eyes not a single thought behind those tears filled mascara laced eyes, she had her tongue pulled out and a bunch of thick bulging cocks appeared muscley hands began stroking repeatedly some fast some slow before they all erupted, plastering different textured white substance into her face, splattering and spilling everywhere. It got all over her face in her tongue some even in her eye, you and izuku didn't say a word as you watched with wide open mouths.

“oh my god..”

Izuku couldn't even speak. His freckled face was burning and he couldn't help the lewd thoughts that began flooding his brain, the most common one;

‘ what would y/n look like with my cum all over their face....’

He gulped and shook his head trying to get those thoughts to exit his brain as quickly as possible, he shouldn't think of his best friend in such a way! It's disturbing and creepy and unprofessional!! however...as uncomfortable as you looked you had scooted back into him, the two of you were already quite close, the fact you tried to get even closer to him must mean something....right? his mind wasn't just trying to justify his nasty thoughts...no, that would be ridiculous.

Silence filled the room as you both just sat there, the video long ended and it was just left on the screen. You couldn't find the words to say, izuku must've thought you were a perv if something this disgusting pooped up on your feed..but it wasn't your fault, honest! People online just can't seem to keep their clothes on.. so many things had your mind racing and stressing thinking izuku hated you, while he was trying to keep his perverted thoughts in.

Eventually, the silence was broke with something neither of you expected to hear ...

“ I think you'd look good with cum all over your face..”

Izuku has gotten closer into your ear and spoke softly with a teasing tone laced through, a small chuckle ending off his sentence. Before he could even process the thoughts that already became words you whipped your head around feeling your cheeks warm. Your eyes looked up at his larger ones with no words at all just blinking as he began stammering to excuse himself.

“ ,,what....”

“ oh! I- well, uhm! I didnt- wait— ”

He couldn't even find his words, a blushing mess sitting up straight in your bed trying to find the right words to excuse his terrible outburst. You just sat there watching him, no words or even an inch of clue inside of you. You truly had nothing to say about this.

Do you believe yourself righteous? Do you believe that killing one blameless for a heinous crime is justified if it brings you one step closer to revenge?

i feel like the Hellaverse has done a pretty good job at showing that pure good/pure evil is Not Really A Thing, and there's an imbalance happening. Adam is the most misogynistic character in the entire show and he's been in Heaven for thousands of years. He revels in killing human souls and his right hand woman is violent, self-righteous, and bloodthirsty. Several of the angels are rude to each other, which may not be a "sin" or "evil" but it certainly doesn't convey heaven as a purely good place where only joy happens.

Importantly, Sera does not know how or why people get into heaven exactly. They do not know what's going on, they just know, at the time of death a person's sins are tallied and depending on whatever factors, they land in either Heaven or Hell. They did not know, until Pentious, that it would be possible for a soul to get re-classified.

even the Speaker of God, who we might assume is a being of pure goodness, cannot/will not tell Sera what to do. She basically says "nobody can tell you the way, you must come to goodness on your own" and says, "you CAN'T know what to do next, you must look inward as an Angel and decide how to move forward". if the show wanted Pure Good to be a real, concrete thing, they could have used the Speaker of God for that in theory.

Ergo. it feels a little out of left field to have a character, on the flip side, that represents or IS the "Root of All Evil". Definitively. Because, like... is it black and white? or is it grey? because this whole time it's seemed like it's very grey. Which i think is philosophically a little easier to deal with

and obviously Hazbin Hotel is not an incredibly self-serious, in depth meditation on the nature of good and evil..... but that is kinda what it is about. It's focused quite heavily on the idea of redemption and saving damned souls from Hell, but also goes out of its way to show there's good, there's love, and there's genuine joy in Hell, and at the same time there's strife in Heaven, making neither place 100% ideal or perfect. Which is more interesting and better as a story.

i feel like the idea that Roo exists at all can really muddy that storyline and is sort of just uncool in the face of all the actual nuance between Heaven and Hell up to this point. And if they take one of my favourite characters to do it, and it does turn out feeling really cheap, I'll be very disappointed.

1. i don’t remember diego being so fucking annoying. actually that’s a lie he’s always been annoying but since he was hot i let it slide but now that he’s not treating lila right (how do u fumble a baddie THAT HARD) i think he should participate in the shut the fuck up challenge

2. “their uncle will pick them up” HUH? like obviously this timeline is different but you’re telling me lila has uncles (and parents! or someone! she was talking to some elderly couple before the party!). what does that mean for the others… were their mothers still killed in this timeline or did klaus live out his little amish dream, even if he wasn’t around to experience it? ykwim? like did they show up to this timeline and someone was like “omg where did u wander off to? i was looking all over for u!” and then it turns out it’s their sibling/uncle/whatever in that timeline and they just have to be like ah yes. i surely do know who u are

3. what they did to lila and diego was criminal!!! “she said she couldn’t get pregnant while breast feeding. but she could” dramatic ass reveal for no fucking reason. like get over yourself diego

4. ok i know they prob couldn’t get rays actor to come back but what the fuck do u mean he walked out. and how can allison afford that nice house when all she’s doing is being in commercials nobody wants. our girl has a BEAMER. also i thought they weren’t supposed to have phones or anything like that so why does allison have a vape lollll. not complaining bc that scene was funny to me but why and how

5. ughhh they were tryna set up lila and five SO BAD in the beginning. and even then they still gave off intense sibling vibes

6. ok maybe im just too american but the gun imagery was kinda not it for me. like idk i think the bit with santa claus coming out shooting at everything was supposed to be funny but idkk i think im just too sensitive bc i was like mkkk whatever not funny. also i know luther has super strength but even in s1 he still got majorly injured when that chandelier fell on him but now he’s fucking indestructible apparently?? like getting shot at and stuff?? what???

7. ok but that grandma loading her old timey gun while she turned to the siblings like O.O was funny i’ll give them that

8. speaking of guns wtf siblings are killing EVERYONE. like ik they started the apocalypse and everything but idek just the way they did it was so weird. like less detached/guilty and more like… triumphant? satisfied? idk but it had a different tone than even s3, i remember in s2 it was such an intense ordeal when allison made those two european brothers kill each other but this time they straight up mass murdered a bunch of ppl in a small town and were like B). like ok. like allsion mutilated that guy in front of her DAUGHTER and it was just chill. major tonal shift

9. “you just had to one up me” 1) you just killed a bunch of ppl diego!! 2) that is NOT the lila and diego i know. the real lila and diego would have started making out nasty style the moment lila killed that guy w her laser eyes. also wtf were the point of the laser eyes. she used them like twice and then that was it

10. with that being said all that affair stuff and recovery and addiction and relapse was getting so heavy. which ik is the point and the umbrella academy has always been heavy but like holy shit u GOTTA pick a struggle. is lila gonna groom five or is klaus gonna give claire trauma cos u can’t have both

11. speaking of claire… “would it help to remind u that we were just as shitty at her age” no u fucking weren’t. u could have breathed at ur british alien father wrong and he would have made u do drills until u puked. don’t play rn

12. why did they not trust the audience to pick up on the fact ben spiked their drinks. like we did not need a full on FLASHBACK. or like to be fully immersed in that scene, a tiny little flashback would have done

13. ok but why is this season so scary. like that train station made me paranoid

14. i will never forgive them for what they did to my girl lila. she used to serve CUNT

15. that british lady alien annoyed the fuck outta me

16. WHERE was pogo. and grace. they needed to find a way to bring them back. maybe they could have transported to a universe where the apocalypse happened and now the world was getting ruled by a planet of [gunshots]

17. why the fuck was diego acting like jennifer and ben weren’t linked in some way when all of s3 they alluded to the jennifer incident every other scene. i get it was supppsed to be so obvious even to someone who has ONLY watched s4 that jennifer and ben were linked so it was just a case of diego being stupid BUT that doesn’t work when it’s already been established that they all know jennifer played a part in ben’s death. hence calling it the Jennifer Incident

18. “they tried to address that in later scenes” they failed. they didn’t know how ben died, fine. but they knew jennifer had something to do w it. i’m tired of scenes that poke fun at diego for being stupid. he’s not stupid—he’s cocky

19. okay no but this season was SO gory. like. whatever they have guns this is a revolution but the guts? the intestines?? they wanted to be stranger things sooo bad

20. no but we need to talk about that. the monster thingie at the end was so stranger things and the guns and the military and everything it was like we were back in s3 (or whenever we met the russians)

21. LOL but that scene where diego finds out about five and lila was lowkey funny. this season was so meta in general

22. speaking of the holidays… i sure did love watching everyone sing christmas carols and walk around in the snow when it was hot asf in real time

23. i do like how many parallels there were to s1. like w viktor and reggie, it was very viktor and leonard in s1. and klaus getting kidnapped. although i was kinda tired of klaus getting abducted and his siblings not giving a fuck. i thought there was supposed to be growth there

24. okayyy but ben and jennifer were cute SORRY. “let’s get married” that would have worked on me. however being rude to me while i was at work WOULDNT have worked on me so maybe yall are right maybe we didn’t need a love interest this season

25. i did NOT expect them to actually drag out lila and five’s love story. other than the age gap (no matter how ur looking at it) you already knew it was gonna be bad as soon as they had their first kiss. i hate those multiple little open mouthed kisses that are literally just ALL lip and spit like that’s fucking gross if ur gonna stick ur tongue in my mouth u better do it by the third little :O we got going on there. and then five was giving boy. like literal boy. and lila is a literal goddess but a goddess that’s well into her 20s and the contrast was so sharp it rlly was giving mom and her caucasian child. i mean that bit about lila viewing it as survival vs five actually clinging onto it showed their different levels of maturity, but since it’s never specified if five is still a 50 year old man or just aging normally, his reaction rlly was such a teenage boy thing. “i’m gonna kill him” man shut the fuck up

26. ok no bc we need to talk about this. i think fives actor is my age—maybe even a little bit older—but i don’t see how anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to find him attractive. like idk it’s weird in the show but even creepier irl cos lila’s actor had to have known him when he was still a minor. why did anyone at the umbrella academy think we wanted this

27. anyway not to make this about myself but when i was writing the odesta longfic there were a lot of lore inconsistencies as we kept going bc i forgot some of the details and was too lazy to go back and read it sometimes, and i think that’s what happened this season. the most notable detail is when klaus covered his ears while everyone was shooting at each other. i was expecting some sort of vietnam flashback but like no. he was just there being normal about it, all things considered

28. “ex-squeeze me?” it wasn’t funny when klaus said it in s1. and it wasn’t funny here

29. alright i think that’s really all i wanted to say about the season tbh… like idk diego and lila starting a family made sense i guess and i know they were falling out of love (even tho they would never do that…) but i didn’t rlly feel any of the love w the kids. like even when lila stepped off the train at the last min and her daughter was banging at the glass it looked more like she was like “oh no :(“ and then just started poking at the glass. i don’t even think it matters that she didn’t fully know what was going on—if you’re a child and ur mom steps away in an unfamiliar situation, you’re gonna start to freak. especially w everything else that was going on

30. ok this is such a small thing to harp on but they abused the fuck outta that time skip font. like i don’t think they ever used it that much before now

31. now let’s get into the ending. this is how i would fix it:

we can keep jennifer. whatever. that thing they added at the very last second about her having a particle that causes the end of the world was… whatever. like i get it. they needed a way to explain the end of the world and that was the thing they used and even if it was very late to introduce such a (admittedly confusing) bombshell, at least it fits in with what we already know about this universe’s rules. magic and particles and marigold and whatever. jennifer is fine.

tbh when jennifer started feeling sick i was honestly thinking that they were gonna go the surprise pregnancy route even though they weren’t even fuckinf hinting at that i just have no media literacy. i wouldn’t have minded that tbh, like the monster transformation made more sense but imagine if we did a twilight ripoff for a second, except that jennifer and ben were both equally protective of the killer baby growing outside of jennifer’s womb (or in her womb… whatever. point is there’s a baby). i don’t think this is a good idea—if anything i think this is a shit idea. but something that’s always been so prominent in tua are the moral implications of what they’re doing, like with everyone wanting to kill harlan in s3 instead of letting the entire world die, and with everything that happened with viktor in s1. there was the whole “i can’t kill my brother” bit, sure, but everyone kinda didn’t rlly seem too enthusiastic about it.

actually the baby addition is actually a shit idea. i’m just keeping that part of the rant in bc we need SOME sort of moral dilemma that isn’t just viktor arguing w hargreeves and then his siblings dropping in later with opinions that don’t even seem that strong. everyone needs to have a strong opinion on SOME sort of moral issue that we wanna introduce—that, in a perfect world, we’d be building up to throughout the season—and then yeah whatever there can be an epic fight scene

i don’t watch/read a lot of time travel stuff, but from what i gathered, the timeline can never be restored once it’s fucked with. there has to be consequences, like with any story. and tua did address that—they tried restoring the timeline thousands of times—but i think they shot themselves in the foot there. time travel with a (somewhat) happy ending is possible—there just has to be something to lose, and it has to be something that isn’t nonnegotiable. claire was nonnegotiable, which is why i think they stayed in s3’s timeline for as long as they did

point is, i think they should have gone back to 2019. i mean i don’t think anyone really wanted them to die. i made a joke in s3’s rant that i would just give up, but lucky for me, i am not a fictional character in tua, so the fact they just die in the last five mins and we’re supposed to be ok w that makes the last three seasons pointless. like, actually pointless. what was the message here? why is the ending of the show painted as some sort of utopia just bc we got rid of the siblings? and why is five okay with that? i think him being on board w dying could have been an interesting route to take if they showed his relationship w his siblings consistently deteriorating (both on screen AND off screen) but they only rlly managed to do that with diego, and it was for something fucking stupid

ANYWAY. bring those fools back to 2019, but don’t make them totally happy. just give them something that makes them all just stay put, like how allison has claire (doesn’t matter which timeline. it could be from the fucked up timeline. i don’t think the cleanse would happen bc of that bc claire is only one person and not an entire fucking organization like tua or an assassination like jfk. so hell. might as well throw harlan and sissy in there for viktor. that makes lila and diego’s motivation really easy for staying put, cos then they have their kids. klaus is klaus and no offense to him but i think hes just gonna roll w the cards he’s dealt without trying to fight back, for better or for worse. then ben can have jennifer and since they love each other idk they just stick around. then five’s motivation for staying is that his family is alive and none of them want to leave and that’s good enough for him bc that’s why he time traveled in the first place