#liebour

It’s coming home, It’s coming home, Polling’s coming home.

Everyone seems to know the score, They’ve seen it all before, The pledges and the plans, The blood upon his hands. I know Labour's full of lies, The voters see the genocide, Beneath the centrist dyes.

Thirty years of hurt, Watching Liebour spread their poison, Dragging us through dirt, While they spout their "new horizons." Thirty years of hurt, Never stopped me dreaming, Of the day they finally lose, And leave the council screaming.

I remember Jeremy, The socialist we knew, But Starmer killed the spirit, And the movement that we grew. He backs the Zionist machine, The apartheid and the wall, While Gaza burns in "self-defence," He watches children fall.

A Pinocchio in a suit, With a nose that grows so long, Each U-turn is a tribute, To a leader getting it wrong. He’s robotic, cold and hollow, With no presence in the room, Pushing identity politics To hide our shared gloom.

He only joined in his fifties, A QC from the top, A stooge for the Establishment, Sent in to make us stop. He helped to cage Assange, While he wore the legal gown, An agent of the status quo, Sent to bring the movement down.

Now Smarmy Streeting sells the soul Of our precious NHS, A "bog-standard" private carve-up, Leaving patients in a mess. And here in Hartlepool, The lights are dim and "third-world" grey, While constant, pointless roadworks Block the workers on their way.

And since Nature abhors a vacuum, The flags begin to fly, The Union Jacks and St George Cross Beneath the Northern sky. Starmer left a hollow space And spat on his own base, The Reform banner’s rising now To take Liebour’s place.

But I won't march to drums of hate, Or flags that preach divide; I’ll find a path that’s just and fair, With progress as my guide. Since Starmer left his flank exposed, And Reform seeks the throne, I’ll cast my vote for independent hopE And a future of our own.

For thirty years Count Dracula, Has lurked within the dark, The architect of Liebour, Who left a hollow mark. A Dorian Gray in velvet, With a portrait in the hall, That hides the rot and "gilded sleaze" Behind a velvet wall.

He reigned right here as our MP, With a cabal in the town, While the portrait in the attic aged, As the ship was going down. With his "best pal" Jeffrey Epstein, And the filth of his career, The Prince of Darkness finally falls, As the "Island" secrets clear.

The stake is driven through his heart, The spin has lost its breath, We’ve finally found the courage, To vote for Liebour’s death!

Down at the Borough Hall, The "third-rate" standards cease, As the orange cones are banished, And the town finds its release!

It’s coming home, It’s coming home, The Reckoning is coming home!

DEDICATION: This is for the long suffering people of Hartlepool who have spent thirty years navigating the shadows of the "cabal" and the "dim lights" of neglect. May this day: Thursday the 7th of May, with local council elections taking place across the UK, bring the harvest you deserve, and may the orange cones finally find their way to the scrapheap of history.

This highly irritating ditty ( see below), which will invariably be played ad infinitum during the course of June with the men's football/soccer World Cup taking place, inspired my political satire in the form of a poem. Anyway, it brought our national team nothing but bad luck and I guess the lyrics will soon be changed into ' 60 years of hurt'...ha-ha! Here it is:

(Scene: A minimalist, grey-walled Westminster shop. Behind the counter stands 

KEIR STARMER, wearing a suit so sharp it could cut the national debt. He is polishing a small, glass plaque that says ‘STABILITY’. A DISILLUSIONED VOTER enters, wearing a hi-vis vest and carrying a folded-up 2024 Manifesto.)

VOTER: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.

STARMER:(With a frozen, forensic smile) We’re open for business! High growth, stable foundations, service of the country. What can I do for you, my friend?

VOTER: I’ll tell you what you can do for me, sunshine. I wish to complain about this political party what I voted for not eighteen months ago in this very boutique.

STARMER: Oh, yes, the Modernised Labour. Beautiful plumage, isn't it? Very centrist. Very sensible.

VOTER: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

STARMER: Nononono, no, no! It's resting.

VOTER: Resting?

STARMER: Remarkable party, the Modernised Labour, idn'it, ay? Beautifully managed expectations! It’s just tired out after a long campaign of saying as little as possible.

VOTER: Look, matey, I know a dead party when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Polling shows it's at 17%. It’s trailing the Greens. Its net approval is -57. It’s passed on!

STARMER: No, no, it's just stunned. You probably just caught it during a difficult budget reset.

VOTER: Stunned?

STARMER: Yes! You stunned it just as it was about to u-turn on fuel duty. Modernised Labours stun easily, especially when faced with WhatsApp leaks regarding Peter Mandelson.

VOTER: Now look, I've had enough of this. That party is definitely deceased. When I brought it home, it tried to scrap jury trials and tax family farms, and when that didn't work, it just sat there while your own conference members voted to acknowledge a genocide in Gaza that you’re still busy denying while you keep the arms flowing!

STARMER: (Calmly) We have a rules-based order. It's for the courts to decide if it's dead. Until then, it’s pining for the 1997 landslides.

VOTER: Pining for the landslides?! It’s passed on! This party is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker—which, frankly, was a focus group in Milton Keynes! It’s a stiff! Bereft of vision, it rests in peace! Its working-class base has shuffled off this mortal coil! It’s complicit in atrocities it refuses to name! It’s run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-LABOUR PARTY!

(Silence falls over the grey shop.)

STARMER: Well, I'd better replace it then. (He reaches under the counter and pulls out a mirror) Look at this.

VOTER: What’s that?

STARMER: It’s a Liberal-Coalition-of-Chaos. It’s got a very nice digital ID card.

VOTER: Does it have a mandate?

STARMER: Not really. But it’s very, very sensible.

And here is a video of the original sketch that inspired the piece.

Reform plc are proud to have decisively beaten the so-called Labour Party in Gorton and Denton by-election by a margin of over 10%.

This just goes to show the people of Great Britain are rejecting woke leftist policies and are voting for real change and taking back control.

The elitest "Sir Kier" should just hand over the keys of Number 10 to our Nige today.

Change is coming.

Stop the boats.

Save the NHS.