#ler!telemachus

“Yehes you did!”

Ody rolled his eyes. “You get your dramaticness from your mother.”

“It’s not dramatic!” Telemachus defended. “I’m sure you’d act the same!”

He chuckled. “Nope!”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not ticklish, so I wouldn’t act that way at all,” he said.

“What? How can someone not be ticklish?”

There was a knock on the wall that caught their attention. “What is your father saying now?”

Odysseus raised an eyebrow at his wife. “What is that supposed to mean?” he questioned, moving to stand next to her. She shook her head in response.

“He was making fun of me for ‘being dramatic’ - he said I got that from you, by the way -” this earned a glare from Penelope and a nervous look from Odysseus, “and I said that he’d react the same way, but then he claimed he wasn’t ticklish, so I asked how someone could not be ticklish.”

Penelope erupted into laughter. Telemachus had a quizzical look on his face while Odysseus frowned.

“Okay, two things: That would be because he’s lying. He is ticklish-”

“Pen!”

She shushed him before continuing. “Also, if you get your dramaticness from anyone, it’s from your father.”

Odysseus looked at her, betrayed. “Okay, well- that’s just not true!”

Telemachus turned toward his father with a shit-eating grin. “You’re a liar!”

The king gave him a warning look, but it was ignored. Instead, he jumped at him with intent to pin him. Ody yelped, shocked at his audacity.

“Woah! Be careful, please,” Penelope face-palmed, leaning against the entryway.

The two of them wrestled for a minute, laughing along the way.

“Lying ihis grounds to be puhunished, dad!” he giggled out, trying to reach his ribs to play dirty and maybe get the upper hand.

“Ihi am your father and the Kihing of Ithahaca, you dohont punish mehe!” he cried, grabbing his wrists. Telemachus was one step ahead though, ‘cause he’d managed to squeeze his ribs. Odysseus yelped, falling onto his back. The younger quickly sat on his thighs, continuing to squeeze. He giggled at the boyish laughter it elicited.

“Not ticklish, huh?” he teased.

Ody pushed against his arms, refusing to say a word. When that didn’t work, he resorted to trying to fight back. He reached for his son’s sides, but was intercepted by Telemachus shoving a hand under his arms and drilling. He choked out a cackle and slammed his arms to his side.

“You both are so childish,” Penelope said from the side, moving to go sit down on Telemachus’ bed.

“PEHEN HEHELP MEHE!” Odysseus called, squirming aggressively.

She snickered - quite rude if you ask Odysseus. “No, you got yourself into this, you can figure it out.”

“Maybe next time, you shouldn’t lie to your son!” Telemachus laughed, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“He has a point, lying isn’t very kind, love.”

“AHARE yohoHOU sihIHIDIHIng wihith HIHIhim?” he yelled, half-heartedly trying to buck him off.

She shrugged. “Yes. I am, dear.”

He gasped, but it caught in his throat and he ended up hiccuping. Both Telemachus and Penelope cracked up at that.

“TRAHAHAITOHOR!”

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Get his thighs.”

Odysseus turned toward her with wide eyes and she bursted out laughing.

Telemachus smirked and pivoted to sit on his stomach and face his legs. Before he could do anything, a dark chuckle came from behind him.

He looked back at his father, who had a smug smile. “What are you so smug for?”

“Never turn your back to an enemy, Telemachus.”

With that, he hugged him from behind and pulled him back, digging into his sides. Penelope sighed, sitting on the floor next to the pair. She grabbed her husband’s arms and pried them away from the youngest. He rolled off of his father immediately.

“Hey! This is an important lesson, love!” Odysseus protested as she pulled his arms above his head and pinned them there. He squirmed and lightly tugged on his arms.

“I agree, but so is teaching him how to fight back against his cruel old father. So that’s what I'm gonna do!” She joked, kissing his forehead.

Telemachus lit up, nearly bouncing on his knees. “You’ll teach me how to tickle dad?”

“No! My love, I would never do this to you!” Ody defended, fighting back a smile.

“Awe, and that’s part of why I love you so much! Besides, it’s not like you mind much, anyways!” She booped his nose.

He scrunched up his nose, blushing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t, dear,” she teased. “Telemachus, sit on his shins so he doesn’t kick you by accident.”

“Okay!” He answered eagerly, doing as instructed before Odysseus could register what she said.

The king looked at his wife with faux horror. “You’re not actually gonna-!”

She interrupted him and tousled his hair gently. “I am. Lightly spider his knees, he’ll snort.”

“Penelope!”

Their son did exactly that, making the older try to kick him off, snort, then belly laugh. “Woah!”

“And that’s where you get it from, Tel,” Penelope said flatly. They both blushed and turned away.

Odysseus groaned through his laughter, hiding his face in his shoulder.

“Okay, where else?” Telemachus asked giddily.

She pondered for a second, tapping on his arms idly. “Hips. Careful though, he’ll try to buck you off.”

“Whahahat the hehell? Thihis is cruhuel!” he complained playfully, feigning annoyance.

“You’ll survive,” Penelope taunted sweetly as Telemachus pinched his hip experimentally. He jerked and - to literally nobody’s surprise - bucked. He continued to pinch softly, and got some snickers in return.

The youngest beamed at his father before moving his attention to his mother for another spot to try.

“Just below his ribs, you’ll get cackles,” she guided, returning the smile.

Telemachus did just that, clawing where the sides meet the ribs. The king did cackle and tossed slightly from side to side.

“He looks like a fish!” he pointed out, not stopping his tickles.

“NOHO IHihi dohoHON’T!” he protested.

Penelope shook her head fondly. “If you dig right between his upper ribs, he’ll scream.”

“WHAT? NOHO IHI WOHON’T!” he objected, tugging lightly on his arms.

Telemachus shot his hands towards his upper ribs, stopping barely an inch away. Odysseus violently flinched and snorted. He then laughed like a hyena in his father’s face because of his reaction.

“I learned that from you!” he declared proudly. Ody smiled and rolled his eyes. When he opened his mouth to answer, that’s when he dug in.

He screamed - the poor, poor people in the palace, honestly - and doubled over.

“I told you he would, even if he denies it,” she winked at her son, who grinned back at her.

Odysseus shook his head frantically, fighting every urge to kick his son off.

“Okay, ready?” she asked them both. One nodded and the other glared - I bet you can figure out which is which. “This one’s my favorite.”

The king’s eyes widened at that, looking up at her and trying to plead telepathically.

“Pinch right above his knee.”

Telemachus did as he was told and nearly went flying at the kick it produced. “Holy moly! And you tried to say you aren’t ticklish?” he teased before repeating that action a couple of times.

“NohoOHO TEHEHEL!” he yelled through screaming-laughter, fighting a really hard battle to not send his son flying.

“If you scratch anywhere on his thigh, you’ll have this same reaction. But if you trace his scar he might actually send you into a wall. Ask me how I know,” that last part was said with fake bitterness as she glared at her husband lightheartedly. He only offered her a sheepish grin as compensation.

Telemachus made a mental note of that before skittering all over his thighs - specifically avoiding the scar though. He kept that up until Penelope told him to stop. He glanced up at her and she waved at him to hop off.

Instead of her letting go as well, she rolled him onto his stomach with very little resistance.

“Oh my gosh, not that!” he called out, terrified.

“We won’t kill you…probably.” She pinned his arms down again before addressing Telemachus. “Just sit next to him, trust me.”

He listened and sat on his knees near his hip. He then stared at her and waited for the next instruction.

Penelope thought for a second before speaking. “Trail one finger down his spine, he’ll squeal.”

Odysseus shoved his face into the floor.

The prince ran a finger down his spine quickly. As expected, he shrieked, hiding his face in his arm.

“You’re both cruhuel!” he groaned out, muffled by his arm.

The Queen snickered. “You’ll be fine, love.” She carded her hand through his hair and he hummed lightly. “Back of the ribs.”

Telemachus did as instructed, drilling into the backs of his ribs. Ody yelped, moving his arm as far away from his face as he was able – which was not very far –, twisting violently and cackling.

“WAHAIHIT! SHIHI-!”

“Woah! Language,” Penelope teased, putting a hand over his mouth.

He shook his head and she pulled her hand away. “IHIM SOHOHORRY!”

Their son giggled at the interaction, moving one hand to his hip and squeezing again. The King screamed and jumped.

“Wow, good job,” Penelope laughed, playing with her husband’s hair softly.

He grinned at his mother. “I can’t believe he tried to say he wasn’t ticklish.”

“I know, quite the lie, isn’t it?”

Odysseus would have protested, had he been able to speak. Unfortunately he was laughing too hard.

After a couple more seconds, he frantically tapped the floor.

“Oh, let up, hun,” Penelope warned. Telemachus immediately retracted his hands and she let go of his arms.

“Are you okay, father?” The youngest asked, worry etched on his face.

He nodded in response, taking in greedy breaths. He moved to sit up and leaned on his wife. She hugged him from behind while supporting him. He took a minute to catch his breath before pulling his son over to hug him and ruffle his hair.

“You brat,” he joked, squeezing his side once. He yelped and lightly shoved at his dad. Penelope laughed sweetly, hugging him tighter.

The King turned around once she let go and gently grabbed her. She squeaked in surprise as he pulled her closer to him. He then softly skittered at her sides. She gasped and began to giggle quietly.

“Lohove!” She called out, batting at his hand lightly.

Odysseus

Lee:

On the ticklishness scale he’s like 7.5/10, mildly ticklish everywhere but his thighs, back, and ribs are like 9-10/10

He’s more ticklish to rougher tickles

Always digs his own grave while being tickled, and it’s literally just instinct for himself to tease his ler

Has a ticklish neck, and he always squeals really high if someone gets him there (Polites always makes fun of him for that)

EXTREMELY ticklish back

That being said, he physically can’t do massages (one time Eurylochus offered a back massage, and he couldn’t stop giggling)

He holds in his giggles for the life of him (it doesn’t really work out that well)

He loves getting his head scratched by penelope, but sometimes she just lowers her hand slightly and tickles his neck

He gets very embarrassed whenever anyone tickles his neck because of how high pitch his giggles get, but that’s why everyone loves getting him there

Ler:

He’s an abuser of the tease “don’t? Don’t what?”

Will do/say things that would also apply to himself

He doesn’t do this on purpose, he's just incredibly hypocritical LMAOO

Always says “aww, someone’s having fun” while teasing someone he knows who’s enjoying themselves (i.e. Polites, Hermes, Penelope, Telemachus, etc.)

Always manages to switch the lee’s words to make it seem like they want it

“OHOHO NOHO- pleheHEHEASE!” “Please what? Tickle you more?” “WhaHAHAT?! NOHOHoho! Thahahats nohot whahahat I sahaid!” “Really? Cause that’s what I heard.”

Everyone always tells him to shut up whenever they get tickled by him (he never does, in fact he teases them more)

Loves to mock people /loving (for example, if someone goes “Ohohodysseus!” He would giggle the persons name back at them, also if someone goes “nonono” he’ll either tease “yesyesyes!” Or “no? Nonono? Why not?”)

He’s always tickling the crew (cough cough Elpenor) who cause trouble (but not in a serious way)

Once he decides he’s going to tickle you, he won’t stop until you beg him to

Polites

Lee:

He’s a 9/10 on the ticklishness scale, my poor boy is WAY too ticklish for his own good

He’s always being called cute, but will deny it till the day he dies

I’ve heard this before, he has a sweet spot near his ears/jawline where he will literally giggle soooo much like it’s just nonstop giggles

He’s also super ticklish on his hips, like his hips and his stomach are his top 2 spots

He squeals really often too, like every new spot you target he squeals/shrieks

He gets tickled for his constant swearing

Saying the word tickle while tickling makes him like jump a little and shake his head (also like blush like crazy obvi)

But he will never say “don’t say that!” because he tries to bring as little attention to it as possible

He’s the most open about being tickled out of the rest of the crew, he doesn’t admit it, but everyone just knows that he loves it

Always gets the “you’re way too ticklish to be acting this way” tease

Telling him how ticklish makes him the most flustered

Genuinely didn’t know that he was still ticklish as a ghost, until someone (probably Elpenor or Odysseus) tried tickling him

Being tickled as a ghost feels like constant buzzing, so it's like not as intense, but the buzzing gets more prominent when it’s over a spot that's really ticklish

He still has the same tickle spots as a ghost

He’s such a giggler, and he giggles the most at anticipation/air tickles, they get him SO bad (Odysseus loves to use that against him)

Extremely ticklish to lighter tickles, so spidering around whatever spots always works the best

Ler:

He usually tickles people lighter, but with Ody he goes all out

He starts giggling while he's teasing people

Tends to do things that other people do to him, not in a teasing way or anything, similarly to Odysseus, that’s just how he rolls

He always gets flustered, even when he’s a ler, but he still loves banter

His love language is physical touch, so naturally tickling is a huge part of it (he constantly tickles the crew to make them feel better, even as a ghost)

Despite how flustered he gets when he's teased using the word “tickle”, he always uses it in his teases

Like he’s always going “tickle tickle tickle!” And giggles along with the lee after (AHHHH /pos)

Eurylochus

Lee:

He’s a solid 5/10, probably the lest ticklish crew member

He literally can’t talk when he’s being tickled, all he can do is laugh

Gets suuuper embarrassed whenever he gets tickled

Not usually a lee, he catches the lers hands whenever they try to tickle him

Tickling in general makes him embarrassed because he thinks it's childish

But he sees Odysseus (his captain/superior/best friend) and Polites (his other best friend) get into tickle fights a lot, so he’s more open to it with them and sometimes joins in

Ler:

Has a soft smile while he's tickling people, it’s so cute

His teases are usually stating the obvious

“You laugh a lot when I get you here.” “OHohoho reheheally? I dihihidn’t nohohotice.”

He ends up accidentally tickling a lot more people than anyone else on the crew

He only intentionally tickles Odysseus and Polites

He's always getting both of them at the same time, it’s actually insane how easily he does it

Penelope

Lee:

She’s probably a 8/10 she is SO TICKLISH

She definitely snorts when she laughs, more than Odysseus, and he loves that about her

Her giggles are adorable, but also so pretty, and it’s one of Odysseus’ favourite features about her

One of my hcs is Hermes sometimes checks up on her so she's not so lonely in her room, and he has definitely tickled her to cheer her up

She scrunches her nose and shakes her head a lot when she gets tickled

She also gets very jumpy when someone pokes/squeezes her side or smth like that

When that happens she also lets out a squeak and she gets super embarrassed abt it

Speaking of she gets flustered rally easily

She will forever deny that she is more ticklish than odysseus (spoiler alert: she is)

If you get her long enough, and in a good spot, she starts like CACKLING like it’s so funny

It’s either cackling or silent laughter after a while

Ler:

Often teases people for being so ticklish (“My my, you sure are ticklish, huh?”, “Don’t think I forgot how ticklish you are.”, etc.)

She usually tickles Odysseus and Telemachus, but I won’t be surprised if she’s gotten a god (like Athena or Hermes) as well

She is SUCH a ler for odysseus like she will tickle him all day if he’d let her

She’s very teasy, but she’s also super smiley the whole time

She takes a lot of breaks while tickling people, so that they can breathe

She genuinely enjoys tickling people so much so that she can hear their laugh

She tickles people when they’re tickling her to try and get them off and is all like “I’ll stop if you stop!” (She doesn’t)

Telemachus

Lee:

Like his mom, he’s a good 8/10 on the ticklishness scale, just an extremely giggly guy LMAOO

He’s suuuper air ticklish like he can’t stop giggling

Giggles whenever he says tickle, even while he’s teasing someone he just can’t say it normally

Snorts just like his parents, but it’s a lot less often, only if you get him really bad

He’s mainly gets tickled by Athena, Penelope and Odysseus once he gets home

Odysseus tickles him really childishly/uses childish teases (using teases like “the tickle monster” and making silly “omnomnomnom” sounds if he's using his beard to tickle him)

Athena tickles him while they’re training

She either makes some training days more focused on “stamina” which means tickling him and seeing how long he can hold out

Or while sparring, she goes behind him and like tickles his sides to catch him off guard, and he usually like drops his sword so she goes “Okay then, I’ll randomly tickle you once in a while we’re sparring. Try not to get distracted.”

Now whenever he feels Athena tickle him during a sparring session, he lets out this overdramatic groan/whine combination, and he's like “Athenaaaa whyyy” (She just giggles at him because she knows he doesn’t mind it)

One time the suitors found out he’s ticklish, and humiliated him, and he like hated tickling for a while after that.

Athena helped him loosen up about it tho, and now he enjoys it again

A neat little trick Penelope found is how if someone uses 2 fingers and just dig into his ribs while vibrating their hand, he like screams so high that his voice cracks and it’s halarious

Ler:

He has definitely gotten Athena back more than once

He doesn’t tickle many people because he doesn’t have that many friends

But once Odysseus gets back, and they slowly begin to roughhouse a little more. He’s more than happy to get his father back

He gets such a big power trip while he’s tickling someone, because it doesn’t happen that often

He’s such a silly ler

He usually tries to start conversation with the lee

If he does tease, it’s teases he's picked up from other people (he learned the “don’t!” “Don’t what?” “Tickle me!” Tease from odysseus)

Overall more lee than ler, but he has his moments

Hermes

Lee:

On the ticklishness scale, he’s like 8/10

Has a very contagious laugh

Oh boy, he’s a squealer! Like more than Polites, his giggles are always spiking in volume and pitch

He’s really hard to make embarrassed, but anticipation gets him blushing

Can’t stand it when someone wiggles their fingers over whatever spot they’re about to tickle bc he just wants the to start, but the motion of seeing the fingers wiggling is so flustering to him

Apollo usually finds a way to make Hermes watch him as he tickles him, knowing that it’s the one of the only things that would get Hermes actually blushing

Whenever he gets tickled, his wings are always flapping to get away, and so if you only have his upper body pinned his legs will like levitate, making his body look like a ‘U’

You have to hold him down because he will unintentionally fly away

He uses his wings to cover his face if he’s blushing, but usually they’re pressed tight against his head, hoping the ler doesn’t notice them

That’s because they are DEATHLY ticklish, like it’s insane

Ler:

This. Man. Teases. So. Well.

He is not afraid to call people out if they like it

He laughs with the lees

He also will tickle people for no reason, just because he wants to

More often than not, he usually tricks people into getting tickled

Or most of his pranks end in the person getting tickled

He tickles Telemachus whenever he visits

He also loved to mess with odysseus and his crew, especially if they don’t usually laugh/smile often (cough cough Odysseus and Eurylochus)

But one day when he visited, Odysseus let it slip that Polites likes it, and the god’s eyes lit up with so much joy

Obviously he immediately went to wreck the poor guy (they both loved it)

He teaches Telemachus how to tickle people and uses Athena as a test dummy

He’s so silly and playful its actually insane

He’s like that with everyone, even Ody (ESPECIALLY Ody actually)

Overall just a fun and silly ler

Athena

Lee:

She’s like more of a 6.5/10

She definitely lets Telemachus tickle her, she enjoys how excited he gets to get revenge on her (she knows that he missed out on this when he was younger, and is happy to make up for lost time)

Odysseus has gotten her when they spar when he gets back to Ithaca

Odysseus is very cocky and confident about this because he was never able to before, so he’s all like “I learned some new tricks” and Athena can’t even be mad because she’s impressed

Like Ody, she teases her ler unintentionally, usually saying some sort of sassy comment

Ler:

She doesn’t really tease, but she’s really skilled at tickling

She always used to tickle Odysseus and mask it up as “stamina straining”

She now tickles Telemachus for “stamina training”, but doesn’t always mask it up as that (like she’s more open about wanting to tickle him)

She has long nails so she just like gently scratching whoever she’s tickling (Telemachus dies)

She’s also very playful with Telemachus, but everyone else she doesn’t usually tease

Other than Odysseus when he gets home and they get reacquainted, and even he made a joke about how she was “holding out on him” when she was his mentor

She obviously replies with something along the lines of “well you were too ticklish for me to unleash my full power”

What was the real goal here? It wasn't to fuck Penelope, no, certainly not. He couldn't care less about her. She could go die in a hole for all he cared.

Of course, he'd have to fuck her. If only to consumate the marriage. Maybe afterwards, he'd toss her in that hole. Call it a suicide. Or maybe he'd blame it on Antinous, call him jealous of the throne. Antinous was far too friendly with his way to power anyway. One act of treason is all it'd take to remove Antinous as a threat to his throne.

The boy, Telemachus. He'd have to do something about him, too. Maybe Antinous had a point about him. He was getting too strong, no longer compliant. Maybe he'd throw the boy down the hole with his mother. Or maybe he'd keep them separated, so they couldn't plot together, like they clearly were doing now.

Either way, everyone would know the name of King Eurymachus.

~

Of course, Eurymachus knew, logically, that he'd have to stall killing off the boy, at least until he secures Penelope's hand. But if he didn't stop bothering him, he might just start planting seeds to get Antinous to do the dirty work.

"Hey, Eurymachus-" Telemachus asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"What."

"I need to talk to you about somethin'." His voice sounded strange. If the suitor was anyone else, he might not have picked it up. However, it was Eurymachus. Best friends with Antinous, "sir drinks-a-lot" of Ithaca. He could tell that Telemachus was at least a little tipsy. Probably not drunk, he wasn't stumbling any. Just tipsy enough to face a suitor, alone. Not his smartest decision.

"About what, young prince?" Eurymachus knew better than to the deny the prince. At least, right now. Soon enough, he'll marry his mother, and then he will no longer have to deal with the prince. He'll toss him in the hole with his mother.

"You... need to stop being mean."

"Being mean?" Eurymachus prompted.

"You keep... being mean. You have to stop."

"Why should I?"

Telemachus approached the older one and shoved him backward on the bed, climbing on top of him.

"Little wolf, what are you doing?"

"Making you stop being mean." He reasons, before digging his fingers into the suitor's sides.

Regrettably, Eurymachus tensed up, his head pressing back against the bed on its own.

"Stop!" He hissed. It's been quite a while since he'd been tickled. It was hard to do anything except grab onto Telemachus' wrists, praying to every god that would listen that he would stop.

"Nuh-uh. Not until you stop being mean."

"I'm not being mean! Get off me!" Eurymachus hated this. Why did he feel like he couldn't move, like he was stuck? Why couldn't he move or fight or just toss Telemachus off of him?

"I just gotta make sure you won't be mean in the future."

"Young prince, I- fuhuck-!" Eurymachus squeezed the prince's wrists as hard as he could when he moved to his hips. He turned his head to hide in his shoulder, small titters beginning to escape. He almost sounded like a squirt bottle as he was trying to fight his own laughter. "Stohohop!"

"I can't understand you. You're laughing too much." Telemachus teased.

Eurymachus just shook his head no. This couldn't be happening. He was being humiliated in front of the prince, he could hardly move, let alone fight back. Maybe he'd kill the prince first. He would, without a doubt, if this doesn't stop soon.

"Mahaha- mahake ihihit stahahap!" The suitor's hands start slapping at Telemachus. Not very hard, he was weakened by the tickles. His laugh grew louder, more shrill. Gods, the involuntary begging was completely humiliating.

"What's the magic word?"

"Gohohods- stohohop plehehease!" He gritted out, hating that he could be reduced to being mannerful just from a few touches.

"Do you promise to stop being mean?" Eurymachus nodded, desperate to be rid of the tickling fingers.

Telemachus finally stopped, getting off of him.

"No more being mean. Or else I'll tickle you again." Telemachus declared, and left him to collect himself on his own.

Yeah. Eurymachus was definitely going to kill that annoyance of a prince.

BONUS SCENE

Antinous walked into Eurymachus' room.

"Hey, are you good? I haven't seen you all day."

"That bastard of a prince came in here and made me promise to not be mean. Fucking asshole." Antinous tilted his head.

"Oh? And how'd he manage to do that?" The smaller suitor crossed his arms and turned his head away, refusing to respond. "Eurymachus. Talk to me."

"He- tickled me." He sighed.

"Mm. He didn't find your worst spot, did he?"

"I don't have a worst spot."

"Oh, really? Then do tell, what do you call this?" Antinous smirks, squeezing just above his knee. The shrill scream was completely involuntary. He didn't mean to start kicking. Why was he so helpless when people started tickling him? Why couldn't he move?

"STOP STOP STOP! ANTINOHOHOUS!" His hands flapped helplessly, before they decided to cover his face. He could barely even think, much less plot his demise. But rest assured, Antinous would pay for this, one way or another.

"Alright, alright." Antinous stopped, gently rubbing the spot to chase away the phantom sensations.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't." Eurymachus glared at his friend.

"Fine. But don't do that again."

"I won't do it again, today."

"Ever."

"You heard me. Better keep an eye out, Eury."

“Hey, father?” Telemachus knocked on the entryway behind Odysseus once he’d reached the garden. He turned around swiftly, holding his sword up barely an inch away from the younger. Telemachus jumped back abruptly. “Woah!”

“Oh! Sorry, son. Old habits, you know?” He chuckled awkwardly, lowering his sword and taking a breath. “What do you need, hun?”

“Uh, I think you need to relax, dad. You’ve held eleven people at swordpoint just in the last week. You need to take a break.” He frowned. “Also, mom told me to tell you all of that. So, please don’t get mad at me!”

Odysseus sighed softly, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t get mad at you for that, don’t worry. You’re right, anyways.”

“So, you’ll take a break?”

He smiled. “Sure.”

Telemachus nearly cheered but repressed it to a huge grin and hugged Odysseus. The King accepted it, squeezing his son tight enough to pop his back.

He giggled in response. “Dahad!” He squeezed back, accidentally tweaking his ribs.

Ody yelped, grabbing Telemachus’ wrists gently.

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?” He apologized, stepping backwards with a terrified face.

“No, no! You’re fine, Tel! I just… it’s not important.”

Telemachus furrowed his brows. “But… if I hurt you then-!”

“Son, you didn’t hurt me. It’s okay,” he reassured, taking his hands.

“But why did you scream like that?”

He turned slightly red. “I did not scream,” he muttered. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

No amount of It was nothing could stop the gears turning in the younger’s head, however. As he started to connect the dots, his face lit up, and his terrified look turned into one of smugness.

“Dad, are you-?”

“No!”

Telemachus gasped. “I didn’t even finish my sentence. So, you must be-!”

“Uh- Nope!”

The younger smirked and jumped at the King, who nearly screamed in response. His sword went flying away from the two just before they hit the ground. They landed roughly, Telemachus miraculously on top. He wasted no time digging into Odysseus’ ribs.

“Son!”

“Dad!” he mimicked. “This is the perfect way to relax! See, everything worked out well.”

Odysseus shook his head and grabbed Telemachus’ wrists. “Th-this is childish! I am the King of I-Ithaca!”

“Oh please, you’ll be fine.”

“Nononoho!” He started to giggle, the noise sounding chokey and unused. I guess eight years of little-to-no laughter will do that to a person.

The Prince rolled his eyes, letting up for a second to adjust their position; Telemachus with one knee on his father’s stomach, barely keeping him down. He must have underestimated Odysseus, though, because once he stopped, he immediately sat up and tried to crawl away.

“Wait, no! Ugh,” Telemachus groaned, jumping up and hugging him from behind before pulling backwards and wrapping his legs around his waist. He quickly started scribbling on his sides.

“Agh! How muhuch have you been t-training?” The King asked through gritted teeth, hugging himself tightly in an attempt to protect himself.

“Enough to do that, I guess. Did that hurt? I don’t wanna hurt you!”

Odysseus reassured him immediately; “Noho-no it dihi-didn’t.”

Telemachus let out a sigh of relief a little too close to the Older’s ear, causing him to flinch and bring a shoulder up. “Awe! Are your ears ticklish too?”

“D-don’t tease me, child!” He turned red and faced away from the younger. Gosh, this kid was too much like him for his own good. Hell, he was even a little like Polites. Which yeah, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it was torturous when it came to stuff like this.

“But it’s funny,” he whispered in faux sadness, directly next to his ear.

Never mind, bad thing. It was a bad thing.

There’s no way he was getting teased by his own damn son.

“Tele- knock ihit off!”

He pretended to think about it for a second, before smiling worriedly. “Sorry, dad, but mom did say to relax. And this is the easiest way for that to happen…”

Odysseus squirmed, half-heartedly pushing his son’s arms away. “Noho it’s not, Telemachus!”

“What is going on here?”

Telemachus’ hands flew away from his sides, and he let go of his father immediately. Odysseus took a deep breath and looked at his wife.

“Thank goodness, I almost went to the Underworld… again.”

The younger rolled his eyes before muttering under his breath, “Drama king.”

“That’s rather dramatic, love. Telemachus, would you like help?” Penelope asked, making Ody gasp in shock.

The Prince grinned from ear to ear. “Yes!”

“Penelope, my love, you’re joking, right?” he said with a terrified look on his face.

She laughed sweetly, “You need to take a break, this is a pretty good way to do that, no?”

“Traitor!” he yelped playfully as Telemachus’ arms wrapped around him again. “I’m just an old man, and you’re ganging up on me?”

Penelope sat next to his knees and patted his thigh lightly. “Shh, you’re not getting out of this, honey.”

With that ever-so-kind statement, she gently squeezed just above his knee. He screeched and kicked his legs out before falling into cackles. Telemachus had stars in his eyes.

“Some of his old friends told me about this spot, isn’t it lovely?”

“IHI’M STIHILL MAHAD AHAT THEHEM FOHOR THAHAT!”

Penelope giggled at that, skittering one hand across his knee while the other pinched his thigh.

“Where else is good?” Telemachus asked, laughing slightly at his father, who was shaking his head aggressively.

“Hips.”

“NOHO!”

He immediately began to drill his thumb into his hip, eliciting a snort.

“You snort too?” the youngest laughed, trying to get him to snort again.

Penelope smirked. “This is where you get it from, sweetie.”

“Mom!”

“Lohove!” Odysseus continued, “Dohon’t ahAHAct lihIHIke YOHOhou’re noHOHOT tihicklIHISH TOHOhoo!”

She rolled her eyes, spidering under his knee as a playful punishment. “I’m not nearly as bad as you two. A simple poke to the ribs and you’re both screaming.”

Both of them went redder than a tomato. To prove her point, she poked both of their ribs, and - unsurprisingly - they both squealed.

“Ihi doHOHON’T screheaham!”

“Sure you don’t, my love.”

She went back to tormenting his thighs right after speaking, and Telemachus moved one hand to his ribs while keeping the other on his hip.

“Wahait NOHOT fahaHAir!”

Telemachus sighed. “How is this not fair?”

“Ihit’s twoho AHAGAHAInst ohone!”

Penelope chuckled, “It’s your wife and your son. And you’re literally a trained warrior.”

He only groaned in response, giving up on kicking and instead trying to curl up. He failed instantly, because Penelope was one step ahead and sat on his shins.

“Nice try, hun.”

“Wait, can I try something?” Telemachus beamed, shaking his father lightly. He shook his head ‘no’ and hugged himself.

His mother nodded and smiled. “You don’t have to ask, sweetheart.”

He visibly lit up and sucked in a deep breath. He then blew a raspberry on his neck.

Odysseus’ breath hitched and he snorted again, which was incentive for Telemachus to keep doing it. Penelope giggled, stopping her tickles to watch her two boys.

“You two are the sweetest, goodness,” she laughed, poking the king’s stomach lightly. He flinched and grabbed her wrist gingerly.

“Ohohokahay! Ihi thihink yohouhu’ve mahade yohouhur pohohoint!”

Telemachus stopped blowing raspberries and started to scribble on his ribs. “Are you finally relaxed, father?”

He yelped before answering, “Yehes!”

The prince backed off, deciding to just hug Odysseus instead. He happily accepted the hug, leaning back into him. He also reached for Penelope and pulled her into their hug.

“I lohove you both, buhut you will pay for that at some point,” the king threatened, squeezing them both tighter.

Penelope laughed, “I would expect nothing less, dear.”