#ler!hermes

Odysseus has a ridiculously ticklish back, but only certain people know (Polites, Penelope, Athena and Eurylochus)

Instead of tickle monster Polites says “I am the God of tickles!” And everyone just thinks it’s dumb /pos instead of it actually making them flustered

Polites and Ody got into a lot of tkl fights when they were younger

It used to be one sided (Polites constantly winning against Ody) but one day, Ody thought of a whole strategy to take Polites down (maybe even asked Athena for help) and it worked

The tkl fights between those two were never one sided again after that lol

Ody gets super flustered and embarrassed, but he never stops digging his own grave by constantly teasing his ler with witty comments (maybe he does it on purpose WHATWHOSAIDTHAT)

Hermes is the BIGGEST switch known to mankind, along with Polites

Hermes and Apollo get into a lot of tickle fights (almost like how Polites and Ody did), and love to bring other people into them

“Ahahahahathehehena! Hehehelp me gehehet Hehehermehehes!” “Um… I’m good…” “oh, come on, Athena! Try and get me! Betcha you can’t~” “oh my goodness- FINE.”

(Athena is really often the one who ends up getting caught in it all)

Athena never loses tickle fights

No matter if she gets gained up on or if it’s one-on-one, she always somehow manages to come out on top

(That’s the main reason Hermes and Apollo call on her the most WHATTTTT)

Going back to Hermes, his wings are EXTREMELY sensitive, probably his most ticklish spot

I’ll talk for days about how much Hermes enjoys being tkled and tkling other people (cough cough Apollo) (not like he dislikes it either tho)

That brings us to where I think the characters are the most ticklish!

Odysseus: thighs (we all agree on this LMAOO), back, ribs (back of ribs are KILLER)

Polites: Stomach, knees, hips, ribs

Eurylochus: Ribs, underarms, sides

Hermes: wings, knees, underarms, neck

Athena: ribs, back/wings, stomach

Telemachus: hips, thighs, ribs, knees

Penelope: Sides, neck/ears, knees

Apollo: knees, neck, sides, stomach

That’s about all the characters I write for LMAOO (don’t ask why it’s all the main characters… and Apollo, bc idk I just really liked him…)

I really need to talk abt Telemachus because OH BOY HES SO ALSNEOEKKSKE /pos

He liked being tickled until one of the Suitors found out he was ticklish, and now he’s just like extremely embarrassed by it and sees himself as pathetic for having an odd weakness

But slowly, after Athena takes him under her wing (literally and metaphorically) she starts doing her “stamina exercises” she used to do with Odysseus, and she calls him out that he seems to be enjoying himself (I WILL G L A D L Y WRITE A FIC ABT THIS BTW)

Once Odysseus gets back to Ithaca, he slowly starts warming back up to his son, and that eventually leads to tickle fights

In Ody’s mind, Telemachus is still little, so he always uses “the tickle monster” tease and Telem thinks it’s so embarrassing (but not necessarily bad)

Now I wanna go back to Hermes bc this man is SO SILLY

He is constantly paying little visits to Odysseus and his crew and just messing with everyone

One time he visited the crew and he just kept on tickling everyone else but not Odysseus, and eventually everyone was like “Ody, man, you need to talk to him” and their “talk” ends up being Hermes wrecking his ass /silly

Athena taught Ody how to fight back though because she has experience from Hermes, so Odysseus know how to flip the tables on the God if nessesary

Whoever on the crew tickles Odysseus, he will waste NO TIME in getting them back, he won’t even wait for them to be in private

He says that he “needs to set an example”

It’s mainly Polites who dares to tickle him in front of the crew

About Polites, I’m a firm believer that his main love language is physical touch and friendly banter, which makes tickle fights between him and Odysseus (who is famously witty and known for digging his own grave) extremely entertaining to watch

Polites won’t confirm or deny if he likes being tickled, but he just gets so embarrassed when someone asks that he just can’t stop giggling (so it’s obvious that he does)

Eurylochus, Apollo, and Polites are the only people who get flustered by the word “tickle” (for Polites and Apollo it’s only in the context of someone teasing him by saying it, for Eury he just gets so awkward if it’s bought up)

You can’t really tell if Eurylochus likes it, he's almost never on the receiving end, and whoever tries is only really able to get one or two pokes in before he brings their hands away

I’m reality, Eury doesn’t like HATE it, but he’d much rather be on the giving side because he just finds it so embarrassing (/neg) when people tickle him

This goes without saying, but Odysseus is like a master teaser

That’s partly because of all the tickle fights he had when he was younger (thank you Polites) so he just knows what gets to people all. the. damn. time.

Ody will deny he giggles until the day he dies

Herme’s favourite tease is saying “tickle” over and over again

Everyone teases that Hermes should be the God of tickles because of how often he messes with people using tickles, but he’s not embarrassed in the slightest at that tease

Speaking of, Hermes is really hard to tease because he literally is so open about liking it, and takes everything that you would think embarrassing as a compliment

While on the ship, Odysseus threw his back out trying to move their food supply, and Eury offered a back massage, and that’s when he found out how ticklish Ody’s back is LMAOO

Hermes eventually finds out, but it takes him a while, and when he does he teases Ody about how he’s been hiding such valuable information for such a long time

Polites always drags his finger down Odyseus’ spine in passing

Omg I can make a whole post abt Odysseus having a ticklish back you don’t understand how cannon this is for me

Athena tries to tease Hermes about how Odysseus constantly gets him back and that because Hermes is a God he should just be able to get out, but Hermes just giggles and goes “That’s because I like it, darling, and I wanted him to feel strong for defeating me in a battle” like he is SO UNBOTHERED

Eurylochus has been able to get Polites and Odysseus at the same time and he will never shut up about it

He also does it a lot more than you would think, like it’s so easy for him to tickle both of them and they don’t know how he does it

Eurylochus only doesn’t mind it if it’s with Poli or Ody, so he doesn’t get mad when they team up and get him (he admits that he deserves it LMAOO)

Penelope tickles Odysseus when he returns because she misses his laugh

Tickling became such a big this with Polites that now whenever Odysseus even sees someone getting tickled it reminds him of Poli (/pos I promise he like smiles)

Odysseus doesn’t usually play dumb while tickling people, he likes to show them that he knows how to get to them

That being said, he knows that Polites gets EXTREMELY flustered when people tease him by playing dumb, so he makes an acception for him

“Aww! What’s wrong, Polites? Is this a bad spot or something?” “SHUHUHUT UHUP YOHOHOU KNOHOHOHOHOW IHIHIHIT IHIHIHIHIHIS” “Yeahh but your face gets all red when I remind you, it’s so cute” “HOHOHOLY SHIHIHIT- I SAHAHAHAID SHUHUHUT IT”

Polites has literally the cutest giggles, they’re like squeaky and hiccupy, and he always goes “ehehehahaha!” Iykwim

Odysseus laughs with a lot of big gasps in between them, and if you get him for long they slowly turn squeaky and into snorts

Eurylicus has these like boomy laughter, and rarely giggles like the other two, they’re just loud and deep chuckles kinda

Sometimes if anyone gets the three of them them all together (i.e. Athena or Hermes, or honestly maybe a few crew members) a common tease is that they sound like they’re trying to harmonize their laughter

Hermes has the most high pitch laughter, but he doesn’t make any other notable sounds, mostly just giggles or hysterical cackles if you hit a good spot

Athena has the most majestic laughter literally ever, like they sound so… pretty in a way? No one really knows how, but that’s the main reason she would get tickled (again mainly by Hermes’ and Apollo, but sometimes other gods or even Odysseus)

Similarly, Penelope has very cute but also majestic giggles, and Odysseus says it’s his favourite feature of her, on top of her beauty, wits, Humor, etc etc.

Telemachus has his fathers laugh, and that’s why Penelope loves it so much, however he has picked up his giggles from his mother, they’re very cute

Apollo’s laugh is kinda generic, they’re very stereotypically “hahahaha!” (Idk how to describe it LMAOO) but they are SOOO bright and happy literally everytime

Also Polites swears the most out of all of them when he’s being tickled, and everyone is always shocked

Telemachus was absolutely exhausted. His day had ended up being much busier than he had originally planned for.

He woke up bright and early that morning to do some solo training, practicing techniques that Athena had mentioned he still needed to work on, before sitting down for a quick breakfast with his parents. The Ithacan royals weren’t always able to eat all their meals together, often caught up with their personal responsibilities, but they made a point to at least have breakfast together, enjoying a peaceful moment before the day got away from them. Telemachus especially looked forward to mornings now that his father was finally home, always happy for a moment to learn more about the man he had longed to meet for so long.

After that, servants whisked him away to the palace baths. There he quickly washed up before being fitted into one of his nicer tunics, a bright white linen that stopped just above his knees, perfect for the heat of the day, and a light blue cloak draped over his left shoulder.

He met with a few different heads of noble families, to go over things like current crop cycles and trade routes. They were in the beginning of the warm season, the busiest time of year for the island’s residents. People were constantly rushing around, plowing fields, checking their irrigation systems, doing everything they could to prepare for the season.

Although, many were worried about the constant humidity that had become the norm for the last couple weeks. Dry summers were expected and there was growing concern amongst the common people regarding the sudden humidity and how it would impact their crops. So much so that even Ithaca’s nobility began pressing the issue. Telemachus had several meetings discussing the topic, where he took notes to share with his mother and father later so they could determine how to best reassure the people.

He was excited to be taking on more responsibilities, finally starting to feel like he was growing into his role as a prince! Though, he would admit, hearing different men drone on about the same thing over and over was honestly quite draining.

Later on in the day, Telemachus and his parents were joined by a noble family for dinner. They had a daughter around his age and were, not so subtly, hoping Telemachus would be interested in becoming a suitor for the girl. She seemed…nice. Quiet. And was admittedly very pretty. But he just wasn’t interested in settling down just yet. The prince still felt like his life was only just beginning, and didn’t want anything to get in the way of his aspirations.

By the time that was finally over, Telemachus was ready to roll into bed and never get back up. Of course, that’s when Athena chose to make her appearance for the day, dragging Telemachus outside for a sparring session. At least combat training was infinitely more interesting to him than his political duties. Athena even told him he was showing steady improvement, which immediately brightened his mood. Right before she knocked him on his ass for the thousandth time.

And now, after running around all day, he stood alone in his bedroom. Finally.

He sighed, slipping off his sandals and padding over to the chest beside his bed where he stored a few simpler tunics for sleeping. As he rummaged through the bin, he noticed a faint sound coming from somewhere within the room. It was high pitched and somewhat melodic. Like a little jingle bell of sorts.

Gods, one long day and he was already starting to hear things.

Telemachus shook his head slightly, as he unclipped the cloak from his shoulder and began to slip out of his tunic. It was probably just a ringing in his ears as they adjusted to the silence of his room after a busy day.

Except the noise continued, getting louder even, till it felt like it was echoing inside his mind. As it steadily grew in volume, Telemachus recognized it as laughter. Like a high pitched giggle that sounded almost mocking.

At this point the prince was officially freaked out. On another day he may have been determined to investigate the strange occurrence, discover its source, and put a stop to it. But today, all his determination surrounded getting into bed and passing out.

Besides there was nothing in his room, not that he could see anyway. So he finished changing into a loose beige tunic, before padding over to close the curtains of his windows, ignoring the mysterious giggles.

As the curtains shut the noise suddenly stopped. His mind was quiet once again, which was good…although he couldn’t help but feel uneasy about the whole situation. Especially now that he had the sudden feeling he wasn’t completely alone anymore…

Telemachus had become quite good at detecting Athena’s presence when she would make her random appearances. The hairs on the back of his neck would stand up and he would suddenly get the feeling he was being watched. No matter where he was, alone or not, he always just knew she was there.

This felt similar but slightly more ominous. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this presence didn’t have the purest intentions.

Besides that, Athena didn’t giggle. Honestly, she didn’t laugh much to begin with. Telemachus had a hard time imagining her making such a weird sound. Plus she would never get in the way of his sleep! She always reminded him that rest was just as important as hard work. ‘Tired minds can’t prosper’ or something like that.

Telemachus closed his eyes, clenching his fists at his sides. This was…fine. He was going to turn around to an empty bed, lay down, and forget this ever happened. Yep yep yep, this was totally normal and he was definitely not about to be murdered by a crazy giggly spirit in his bedroom.

He slowly turned around before opening his eyes to…nothing. He sighed, a small relieved smile crossing his face. Sure, he was clearly going mad, but that was a problem for tomorrow’s Telemachus. Today’s Telemachus had worked hard already and deserved sleep.

“Hello darling.”

“AHH!” Telemachus screamed, jumping away from the sudden voice that appeared behind him. He whipped around to see a man, only slightly taller than himself wearing a similarly cut tunic, only in white with a red trimming along the bottom hem and the top part only covering the left shoulder, leaving his right side exposed. What stood out the most though, was the helmet covering an array of golden curls and his sandals, both of which had a pair of white wings attached, allowing the man…no—god, to float slightly above him.

“Oh my me, darling! You should’ve seen your face!” The god laughed, head thrown back so far that he began floating upside down. “I didn’t think mortals could fly, but you’re certainly jumpy aren’t you.”

Telemachus’ eyes widened in recognition. That laugh. That’s the sound that had been literally driving him crazy a moment ago! He stammered, confused by the god’s sudden appearance, “I- you- Hermes?”

The god in question gently lowered to the floor, actually the same height as Telemachus when on the ground. He hadn’t realized god’s could even be human sized. Athena was so tall, he simply never considered it.

Hermes bowed with a flourish, one arm raised to his chest with the other extended upwards, “Indeed I am.” He smirked up at the boy. Then in the blink of an eye he was behind Telemachus once again, hands gripping his shoulders, leaning into his space, “And you’re Telemachus~”

Telemachus was surprised by the god’s speed, flinching just slightly. Though, in all honesty, he probably should’ve expected it. Hermes was the fabled messenger of the gods after all.

“You know me?” He attempted to look back at the god, but Hermes moved out of his line of sight at each attempt. After a moment of back and forth, he resigned to just face forwards for now.

Hermes giggled at his own antics, his nails digging into Telemachus’ shoulders. They were surprisingly sharp. Like claws even. Yet, somehow they didn’t hurt at all.

“Of course I know you, darling!” Hermes finally drifted to float in front of Telemachus once again, “You’re Athena’s little mentee.” He said, poking the tip of Telemachus’ nose with a quiet “boop.”

Huh. Well, that made sense. He supposed gods probably got together and talked the same way regular people did. It was honestly kind of nice to hear Athena mentioned him at all. There was a bigger question nagging at him though.

“Sooo…why are you here?” He asked, doing his best to sound polite. Telemachus knew how important good hospitality was to the gods, something his mother always reminded him of growing up in a palace full of loud burly suitors.

He wouldn’t risk offending Hermes. If what his father told him about his long journey home was true, accidentally pissing off gods is in his blood.

At the moment, Hermes was flitting about the room, inspecting each and every corner. Telemachus didn’t have too many things in his bedroom, and even less that would interest a god, but he didn’t question the process.

The prince’s question went ignored as Hermes shuffled through a few parchments on the small desk across from his bed, seemingly more interested in his things than in the prince himself.

Telemachus stifled a yawn, staring longingly at his bed. At any other time he would’ve been ecstatic at the idea that a god, other than Athena, chose to personally visit him. But right now, he was just sooo sleepy.

He looked back over to where Hermes had been floating, only to find him directly in front of his face, so close their noses almost touched.

“Wah!” He yelped, stumbling backwards, the backs of his knees bumping against his bed.

Hermes grinned, shiny teeth on full display. It was honestly a little unnerving, especially when he noticed how sharp the god’s canines seemed to be, much sharper than a normal person’s would be.

“Would you like me to leave, darling?” Hermes tilted his head in question, allowing Telemachus to catch a view of the god’s eyes for the first time since his appearance.

They were like little pools of light hidden just beneath the brim of his helmet. Telemachus thought the way they scrunched up into crescents as Hermes smiled made them look a lot like tiny moons.

“No—” He lied, “Of course not! I’m just…confused is all…” He concluded, hoping the god wouldn’t question him any further. And maybe hoping, deep deep down, that Hermes would simply get bored of him and leave, at least for the night.

Hermes stared at him, expressionless. Just long enough to make Telemachus squirm under his gaze, before he smiled again. “Good!” He chirped, “Now, what’s that?”

The god was pointing behind himself at the standing loom set up next to Telemachus’ desk. A roll of cloth was attached to the top beam, the strands in process of being woven into a simple pattern.

In Ithaca, weaving was a practice most often done by women, but as a child Telemachus spent most of his time following his mother anywhere he was allowed. When he watched her slowly craft tapestries and fabrics with her own two hands he was amazed, and asked her to teach him.

Of course, she obliged, and throughout Telemachus’ childhood he and his mother spent many hours together by a loom. He even had several small tapestries that he made himself from over the years tacked onto the walls of his room. Mostly images of monsters and warriors from the stories his mother would tell him before bed.

But the one he was working on now was different. Most people had tapestries depicting the members of their family, and they would update them every few years or so as families naturally changed in size.

Before his father had left for war, his mother made one of the three of them. In it he was just a baby, cradled in his parents arms.

Now that his father had finally returned home, he wanted to make a new tapestry, showing how they looked today. That after all this time they were still a family.

“Oh. I’m making a gift. For my father—Well, for all of us, technically. My parents and I.” He smiled softly, “It’s still a work in progress, obviously.” He had only just started on the row with the tips of their hair, an unfortunate result of his busy schedule lately.

Hermes merely hummed in response, now laying down midair, floating in lazy circles around his head. People often told Telemachus he couldn’t sit still for long, but he was starting to think he wasn’t nearly as bad about it as Hermes seems to be.

“So you crafted all those little designs yourself then?” Hermes asked, gesturing to the various pieces covering his bedroom walls.

Telemachus smiled, managing to push his desire for sleep out of his mind for the moment. It wasn’t often he got to talk about his semi-secret hobby.

“Yea! It’s something I’ve been doing since I was little, actually”

Hermes nodded, thoughtfully, “That’s actually rather impressive, darling.” He complimented, watching the young prince’s face light up at the slight praise.

“Though, I thought weaving was just something women did? I had no idea the prince of Ithaca was so in touch with his femininity~” Hermes teased, shiny eyes glinting down at the boy.

“That- that’s not- I-” Telemachus sputtered, a soft pink flush spreading across his tan cheeks. That was the exact reason this particular interest was kinda, sorta, a secret. He wasn’t really embarrassed about it…well okay maybe he was. But it was hard to talk about knowing that his identity as a man would be questioned.

“A-Athena says that weaving is a respectable craft that helps build focus!” The prince practically shouted, willing the embarrassment to leave his body as he faced the god’s clear amusement at his actions.

Hermes laughed that same jingley giggle, flying faster around Telemachus before grabbing him under his arms and hoisting him up into the air. Telemachus startled, squirming as his feet left the ground.

“Wha— Hermes!” Telemachus squeaked, watching the floor slowly get further away from him. Thankfully the god didn’t take him far, only lifting him about a meter into the air before releasing him onto his bed. He let out a quiet, “oof”, as his head hit the pillows.

Hermes slowly drifted down like a feather, only to plop right on top of Telemachus’ waist, legs straddling either side of him and hands holding the prince down by his shoulders.

“Oh darling,” He giggled softly, tapping his claw-like nails on Telemachus’ soft skin. “I can definitely see why Athena is so fond of you.”

Telemachus screwed up his shoulders at the sensation, the god’s nails being so pointy that it tickled, just slightly, “I-Is that why you’re on top of me?”

Hermes dragged his hands closer to the prince’s neck, clearly fascinated by the boy’s responses to his actions. He watched a wobbly smile grow on Telemachus' face as he alternated between poking the right and left sides of his neck. Even better was the way Telemachus instinctively scrunched up his shoulders to protect the sensitive skin of his neck, stuck squirming back and forth, unable to stop himself from chasing the tingly sensation.

Hermes hummed, once again ignoring a question the prince had asked him. Only this time, the thing distracting the god was Telemachus himself instead of a few random scrolls.

“H-Hermes?” He tried again to gain the god’s attention, not sure how much longer he could stand to be poked and prodded.

“Yes darling?” Hermes, fortunately, responded this time around. Unfortunately, he moved on from poking Telemachus’ neck every few seconds to using all his nails to gently trace circles into the boy’s skin.

Telemachus was really having trouble focusing now, having to bite his lip to prevent himself from letting out any potentially embarrassing noises. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and his face was a perpetual shade of pink that threatened to spread down to his neck if Hermes kept this up.

“Y-you- Whahat are you dohoing?” He squeaked out, unable to avoid the soft giggles that punctuated every other word.

“Well I don’t know, little prince. You tell me,” Hermes grinned down at him, very much enjoying the young prince’s flustered state. “Are you ticklish?~”

Telemachus gasped softly at the question. He had never quite understood why but the mention of tickling or being tickled always seemed to make him feel really…flustered, in a way other people didn’t seem to understand. Even as a boy, when his mother would poke at his tummy or wiggle her fingers behind his ears he would get so shy, running to hide in the nearest corner where no one could see him.

The prince could only shake his head, knowing that opening his mouth would allow more quiet laughter to flow out of him.

Hermes tsked at him, shaking his head as if disappointed, “You know you should never lie to a god, darling.” He sighed, one hand moving to poke at the boy’s side, “You mortals are incredibly bad at it.”

Telemachus closed his eyes then, the sight of Hermes’ ever teasing grin too much for his sleepy brain to handle. Using his now free arm he attempted to cover the expanse of his side. Of course when he did so, Hermes simply moved to poking his belly instead, resulting in yet another back and forth between the two as the god would simply move to whatever area Telemachus failed to protect.

A quiet whine sounded in the back of his throat, his small wobbly smile slowly widening into a full on grin.

“Hehermeees! Stop ihit! Plehehease!” He pleaded, squirming under the god in a feeble attempt to throw him off.

“Hm? Stop what exactly, darling? You have to be more specific.” Hermes finally decided to leave the boy’s poor neck alone. Only to then shove both his hands under the gaps in Telemachus’ tunic, gently scratching along his sides and belly as he did so. The sensation of ten pointy claws dragging across his skin was the prince’s breaking point, an endless flood of boyish giggles set free within the small room. “Come now, use your words~”

Telemachus was sure he looked a bit like a tomato right now, his cheeks growing warmer as the god continued to tease him. He didn’t even understand why this was happening right now! Was barging into people’s homes, inspecting their things, and then tickling them just something Hermes liked to do?!

Prying his eyes open to glance up at Hermes showed the god staring at his hands as they danced upon skin, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in an expression of the utmost focus. As if tickling a prince was some important task on his to-do list. He noticed Telemachus watching and smiled before shoving his hands further up to vibrate against the spaces between the prince’s ribs.

Telemachus squealed, his hands thrusting out to grab ahold of Hermes’. Hermes cooed at the noise, enjoying the way the prince’s blush darkened in response.

“YOU KNOHOHOW WHAHAHAT!”

Hermes hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “No, can't say I do. There’s a million things you could want me to stop right now. Should I get off you? Leave your room? Oh! Would you want me to stop talking? It wouldn’t be the first time someone told me I—”

“STOHOHOP TIHICKLING MEHEHE!” Telemachus practically screamed, trying, and failing, to pry the god’s hands away from his ribs.

Hermes blinked at him, seemingly confused by the request, “But Telemachus, darling,” He slowed his hands to simply walk his fingers up and down the boy’s ribs, granting him the small mercy of being able to speak, “How could I possibly be tickling someone who isn’t ticklish?”

Telemachus remembered his father telling him about his encounters with Hermes. He had said that the god helped him out in two separate instances while he made his journey home. That he was incredibly playful in a way that made him feel lighter in otherwise perilous environments.

Well Telemachus would say Hermes was more than just playful, he was a downright menace. He fully understood now why people called him a trickster god.

“That is what you said isn’t it?” Hermes continued, bored of waiting for a response from the prince, “Maybe I misheard you somehow? Hm?”

Telemachus groaned, “Ihihi dihihin’t say ahanythihing!” Which was technically true. He only hoped the god wouldn’t call him out for lying again.

Hermes tilted his head, either not noticing or simply choosing not to mention his little work around. “Well then, little prince, answer the question,” He leaned closer, close enough that Telemachus was sure the god could feel the heat radiating from his bright red blush, a thought that in turn only made him blush harder. “Are. You. Ticklish?” He questioned, tasering the boy’s sides at each word.

Frantic giggles emanated from the boy, more so from Hermes’ words than his actual hand movements now. He wasn’t usually so easily flustered, or at least he really hoped he wasn’t, but somehow the god had found the one thing that could always turn his mind to mush.

“B-buhut I- Ihihi- Ah!” A gasp left him as Hermes shoved his hands under his arms. Telemachus immediately clamped his arms down at his sides, but it did nothing to stop those sharp nails from tracing gentle swirls in the spaces beneath his arms.

Hermes shook his head disapprovingly, “No buts, darling. How about this, if you answer honestly…I’ll stop, whatever it is.”

And just like that, it was so easy. Such a simple way to end this whole thing. Telemachus could say goodbye to the trickster god, go to sleep, and try to forget about this weird night. But…

Telemachus whined, twisting side to side as if that would somehow allow him to evade the hands he had literally trapped under his arms. He simply couldn’t help it! Despite the truth being painfully obvious, the thought of saying the words out loud was just so embarrassing.

“Hehermes pleheh-AH! PLEASE!!” Telemachus screamed as Hermes suddenly dug into his hollows, scratching at the sensitive skin.

“I already told you how this ends, darling.” Hermes laughed, amused by the silly prince’s reactions to every little thing, “I can’t do much more for you. What’s that thing you mortals like to say? Gods can only help those who help themselves? Hm?”

Telemachus was fully belly laughing now. His back arched away from the mattress and legs kicking out behind where Hermes perched atop him. And yet, the god continued scritching away, lighting the boy’s nerves on fire with every twitch of his fingers.

“I really don’t see what’s so funny, darling. I mean all I’ve done is ask you a simple question.” Hermes shook his head, sighing, “Alas, it appears I’ll have to let Athena know her little mentee has gone insane.”

At the mention of his mentor Telemachus shook his head wildly, blush spreading to the tips of his ears.

She could not know about this. He would actually die if she found out. How was he supposed to look her in the eye during their training knowing that she knew a few pokes in the right places turned him into a blushing giggling mess.

“HEHERMEHES!”

“Telemachus~” Hermes sing-songed.

“IHIHI CAHAN’T!!” Telemachus whined, peering up at him through squinted eyes, hoping the trickster would take pity on him.

Hermes hummed, pretending to think. “Well. Maybe there is something I can do to help.”

Telemachus closed his eyes once again, not wanting to see what the god had in mind. He could only hope that Hermes’ definition of ‘help’ didn’t actually mean ‘make everything worse’.

…Oh

worse

Worse

WORSE—

Hermes had leaned down to bury his face in the crook of Telemachus’ neck and began nibbling at his skin with those sharp teeth he had witnessed earlier. All the while still, he continued clawing at the prince’s underarms.

On top of that, Hermes’ feathers and fluffy hair brushed against the underside of his chin and face. Leaving behind a tingly sensation that, on its own, wouldn’t really be that bothersome, but in combination with everything else? Was absolutely maddening.

Telemachus writhed beneath the god, hips bucking up suddenly, as if that would cause the immovable force that was Hermes to topple off him. Despite logically knowing there was only one way out of this, his over the top reactions continued, much to Hermes’ obvious delight.

Although…

“NAHAHAHAHAH!” Telemachus’ mind was a foggy haze. His already sleepy brain melted down into soup with the continuous tickling. He honestly couldn't very well remember what Hermes wanted him to do at this point.

Hermes, refusing to be silent for any extended period of time ever, began making little “Om nom nom” sounds as he scraped his teeth against the young prince’s neck. Biting him gently every few seconds before continuing.

Telemachus was even more embarrassed by the ridiculous sounds, a small snort escaping him as he shook his head.

Hermes immediately shot up at the noise, gazing down at the boy with literal sparkles in his shiny eyes.

“Oh. My. Me, darling! What was that?!” Hermes genuinely laughed, not expecting a prince to make such a sound. “Turning people into pigs isn’t exactly my area of expertise, you know.”

And with that, Hermes had officially murdered Telemachus. Now his gravestone would probably read something ridiculous like ‘Here lies Ithaca’s most ticklish prince. Who quite literally combusted after a flustering encounter with our Lord Hermes.’

The boy’s whole face, neck, and ears had turned bright red. His damp hair stuck to his forehead, even as he continued to squirm. He hardly felt like a person at the moment. More like a puddle. A sweaty, blushing, incredibly ticklish puddle. The only thing he could feel other than Hermes continuing to torment him was the slight ache in his cheeks from smiling for so long.

Hermes sighed wistfully, “You know, I always forget how sensitive you mortals are,” He watched the young prince beneath him squirm every which way, desperate for an escape that he simply would not achieve.

“You’re all so squishy,” He suddenly vibrated his digits where they lay beneath the prince’s arms for emphasis, laughing along as the boy threw his head back against his pillow with a pitchy squeal. “Maybe I should visit you more often, little prince.”

Telemachus’ eyes snapped open, face to face with a smirking Hermes. The trickster giggled in that high-pitched chittering way that he often did.

“What? You don’t like the sound of that?” The god pouted as Telemachus frantically shook his head.

“Well that’s not very nice, darling.” He sighed, looking despondent for just a moment before a mischievous grin quickly returned to his face. “I suppose I’ll just have to come back and punish you for hurting my feelings instead.”

“N-NO! NOHOHOHOHO!! YOU CAHAHAN’T!!” Telemachus cried out, unable to handle the possibility of this becoming a reoccurring activity. He would never get anything done if he thought Hermes could appear at any moment and tickle him to pieces.

Hermes simply ignored his pleas returning to his spot pressed against the prince’s neck, likely in an attempt to get Telemachus to repeat the noise he had found oh so hilarious.

Telemachus forced what little brain power he had left to think. But it was so hard to focus! Everytime a thought crossed his mind Hermes would wiggle his fingers just a little harder, or his hair feathers would brush against Telemachus’ ears, and the thought would be chased away. It honestly felt like wading through sticky mush, searching for something he wasn’t quite sure still existed. But there had been something. Something he was supposed to say—

He jolted suddenly, a gasp interrupting the otherwise steady stream of laughter. Something wet had pressed against the base of his neck, close to his collar bones. Something wet…and kind of warm and—

Oh…

No!

Hermes just licked him!

“OKAHAHAY!!” He shouted, the sudden assault seemingly jogging his fried memory, “IHIHI’M TIHIHICKLIHISH! IHIHIT TICKLES!! NAHAHAHA MOHORE!”

Hermes quickly vibrated his fingers in place under his arms one last time before stopping, and sitting back up.

Telemachus laid there, twitching as if he was still being tickled. His laughter slowly died down into pitchy giggles that didn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Looking down at Telemachus’ frazzled state, the god couldn’t help but smile. A real, fond smile, rather than his usual impish grin. He genuinely found the boy to be quite adorable. Especially laying there as he was, face flushed and breathless with a little smile.

“Darling,” Hermes tilted his head, “There’s really no need to state the obvious. I do have eyes.”

Telemachus groaned, residual giggles still tumbling past his lips as the ticklish shocks still lingered.

“Y-You…you’re s-so—”

“Careful now, darling,” Hermes’ eyes flashed in warning, “I am still a god you know.”

Telemachus remained quiet at the reminder. Although, part of him got the feeling that Hermes wouldn’t really do anything to hurt him. Still, he wasn’t willing to test that theory.

He took a few deep breaths, allowing himself to calm down and finally stop laughing, “Do you think you could get off me now?” The prince asked, squirming slightly underneath the god who for some reason still hadn’t moved.

“Of course!” Hermes said, unmoving. “But first-” Telemachus groaned loudly, annoyed at the prospect of having to do literally anything else.

Hermes merely giggled at him, “Calm down, darling. This shouldn’t be hard.” He reassured, “I just need you to raise your arms up for me.”

Telemachus blinked up at him slowly. Maybe the lack of sleep had officially made him delirious because he swore the request made no sense.

Seemingly sensing the boy’s confusion, Hermes deigned to explain himself, “See, my hands are a bit stuck at the moment.” He gave the slightest wiggle of his fingers that still had the prince gasping as if he had been stabbed.

Telemachus glared up at the god defiantly. He knew for a fact that was untrue. Hermes was way stronger than him! Gods were always stronger than humans, that being a large part of why they were so revered—and feared.

Hermes was still messing with him. And clearly enjoying doing so, based on the way he was seemingly unable to stop giggling.

“We both know that’s not tru-AH! HERMES!!” Telemachus shrieked, feeling the god dig his nails into his skin once again.

“You calling me a liar, darling?” Hermes leaned down, grinning wickedly at the boy, “You might wanna listen to me before I change my mind about stopping. Hm?”

Hermes was close enough to him that Telemachus could feel the breath fanning his face as he spoke. And somehow, that tickled too, his already overstimulated senses easily set off by any little thing.

The prince’s giggling sounded desperate as he shook his head, knowing very well he couldn’t take much more of this. He forced himself to think about his end goal, what he had been working towards all day. Finally falling asleep in his cozy bed.

Telemachus bit his lip, steeling his nerves, before slowly lifting his arms upwards, hovering just high enough for Hermes to remove his evil hands.

Hermes slowly raked his nails down the boy’s skin, smiling at the way Telemachus’ arms trembled in place, hiccupy giggles bubbling out of him.

As soon as the hands were gone Telemachus clamped his arms down once again, wrapping himself in a tight hug, as if that would protect him from the phantom tickles that still lingered.

“Y-You’re *hic* me-mean.”

Of course, Hermes simply laughed. Because laughing at Telemachus’ mild displeasure seemed to be his new favorite pastime.

“I’m mean?” Hermes gaped, hand dramatically pressed to his chest. As if the idea that the boy he just several minutes tormenting could think such a thing was entirely ridiculous.

“Honestly, darling! I really could have been a lot worse. I wouldn’t have even stopped if you didn’t look like you were about to pass out!” Hermes pointed at him, as if it was his fault their little ‘game’ had ended.

Though, he certainly wasn’t wrong. Telemachus thought his bones felt a bit like pudding. Even with Hermes still sitting on top of his waist he could probably fall asleep right now.

Hermes stared down at the Ithacan prince for a moment, watching his eyes flutter shut and his breathing slowly even out.

This was the son Odysseus had fought so hard to get back to. His own great great grandson.

Gods having children with mortals was nothing new or even unexpected. His own father had slept with who knows how many different people, providing him with an absolutely ridiculous number of siblings. Most of which their supposed father, literal king of the gods, couldn’t give a single crap about. He was well within his right to ignore Ithaca’s existence entirely.

But…Hermes couldn’t help but feel the slightest tinge of affection towards these silly little mortals. Even if he chose to show it in unconventional ways.

The messenger god smiled down at the boy sleeping below him and quietly disappeared.

˚₊‧꒰ა ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Telemachus was only half asleep when he noticed the weight suddenly disappear from his hips. He blearily opened his eyes to see Hermes had left.

Huh. He honestly didn’t expect him to leave so silently. No fancy flourish to his exit—

“Still awake, Darling?”

Once again, the god’s sudden appearance startled the prince. Telemachus looked over to his left to see Hermes sitting cross-legged beside him. For some reason he was holding one of the chalices they usually kept in the dining areas.

“You’re still here.” Telemachus mumbled, rolling onto his side, now facing the god’s knee.

Hermes smiled softly, “For now, yes.” He gently wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders, “Sit up for me, alright.”

Telemachus whined quietly as he felt Hermes slowly dragging him into a sitting position. He was about to protest before he felt something cool press against his lips. Blinking his eyes open he saw the chalice Hermes was holding, filled with water.

Oh.

Well that was rather unexpected. But also...nice.

Telemachus took the cup into his hands, taking slow sips of the water until it was empty. He hadn’t even realized he was thirsty till now. Maybe Hermes did spend his time flying around tickling people, since he seemingly knew what they needed afterwards.

Hermes took the cup from him and he immediately crashed back into his pillows, getting comfy once more. It seemed the god planned on sticking around till he fell asleep. Something he didn’t mind the sound of, surprisingly.

Telemachus tensed slightly as he felt Hermes reach out to brush a hand through his hair. He quickly melted into the touch, the feeling of gentle fingers scratching at his scalp almost instantly relaxing him enough to fall asleep.

But first…

“Hermes..” the prince mumbled sleepily, just barely awake.

“Yes darling?”

“Promise me you won’t tell Athena ‘bout this?” Telemachus whispered, voice so soft Hermes might not have heard him if he wasn’t right next to the boy.

Hermes laughed quietly at the request. Of course Telemachus still managed to worry about his mentor when practically asleep.

“Don’t worry, darling. I promise.”

Telemachus’ only response was the tiny puffs of breath escaping his open mouth. The prince was finally asleep.

Hermes sat and watched over the sleeping prince for a brief moment, feeling so deeply and utterly fond.

Floating up and off the bed, Hermes quietly drifted over to the thin linen sheet tucked at the edge of the bed. He gently draped it over the boy, hesitating briefly, before leaning over and pressing the tiniest kiss to his forehead.

Ever since Odysseus had come home from his 20-year journey, killed all the suitors in his palace, and re-united with his son and loving wife, he'd felt more at peace than he'd ever been. Reasonably enough, he still had a lingering feeling of dread. Now, why would he? All potential threats were taken care of- Poseidon was off his back, the suitors were dead, and he was home; what more could there be to worry about?

Oh, except maybe the fact that Hermes was now a frequent visitor, alongside Athena (who practically lived with the family of 3, considering how much she was around). Thankfully, he wasn't up to his mischievous self the whole week, just......5 days out of 7. Of course, the only real reason he was allowed around (he'd probably still be regardless, but anyways-) was because he helped keep Telemachus busy; Odysseus and Penelope were always together, so Telemachus had no one but Argon, Athena, and his great-grandpa Hermes to hang out with. Luckily for his parents, they did an excellent job of, well.....babysitting; while Telemachus and his divine friends (plus Argon) called it "hanging out", Odysseus and Penelope called it babysitting, because well...that's what it was.

Now, Hermes was quite the help with Telemachus, but that didn't mean the two stayed out of trouble. No- if anything, the trouble around the palace all but lessened. At first, it was little things- rearranged books, weapons missing from the arena and showing up in random places around the palace (one was even in the bathroom), y'know, the little things. But then it started to escalate- water buckets on the top of doors, invisible trip-wires causing flour to pour all over someone, fake spiders in drinks and beds, and overall shenanigans. And there was only one person (ok, maybe two) who could've been behind it.

As Odysseus walked into the arena, he noticed two practice spears missing from their usual stands. Beginning the search, he checked each regular hiding spot, only to find them dangling just out of his reach inside his room. Reaching up he attempted to grab one, missing the end just barely.

"Need some help?"

Odysseus barely had time to react before he felt something scribbling against his exposed underarm, immediately snapping his arm back down and looking around.

Nothing. Why does this have to be so difficult?

Meanwhile, Hermes was watching from the shadows, waiting to strike again. Watching Odysseus reach up to grab at the dangling practice spears again, he slowly drifted forward to once again mess with the King of Ithaca, knowing nothing too horrible would happen, should he be caught. No, he wouldn't- he was too fast for that, surely.

Reaching out, he squeezed the king's sides with a quick yet firm squeeze, then raced back to the shadows just as Odysseus turned around.

"Alright, who's doing that? Come out here, now!"

Hermes had to stifle a giggle from where he was, and decided to pretend like he'd been passing by the room in search of Telemachus, and mess with his grandson some more. As he disappeared out of the room, he reappeared just outside, then floated past calling out Telemachus's name.

"Telemachus! Where did you go? Darling, I found a cool rock!"

As soon as Odysseus laid eyes on him, his suspicions were made true.

"Hermes! Just who I was looking for- come here for a moment, will you?"

Hermes floated over, landing in front of him as if it was just a normal day. Oh, if Hermes had only known what the king was planning.

"I have a question for you- can you get those down for me?"

Odysseus asked, pointing to the dangling spears. He watched as Hermes shrugged, beginning to float up to get the practice spears down, but was stopped by a dug on his cloak.

"From the ground- I wanna see you do something without flying around for once."

The man had to fight back a smug grin as he watched the latter reach up for the spears as he had, knowing that the other's attention was on trying to get them down without leaving the carpeted floor.

So he could only fight back a sly chuckle as he reached out and quickly squeezed the messenger's exposed sides, earning him a rewarding shriek of surprise as he quickly crossed his arms to appear innocent.

"Whahat was that, Ody?"

"What was what, messenger?"

"....nothing-"

The king knew it wasn't just nothing; he'd gotten into tickle fights before, he wasn't dumb. So of course he had to do it again. Reaching out once more, he spidered his fingers across the back of his friend's ribs, earning another shriek, followed by a floating Hermes glaring at him from above; obviously, it wasn't a real glare, they both knew he enjoyed it as much as anyone.

"Are you sure? To me, that sounded like a shrieky little giggle-"

"Shuhut up- if you do that one more time, darling, I can't guarantee you'll be safe from me for the next week, at the least."

"Hmm...I'm willing to take that risk!"

Odysseus lunged at the floating god, grabbing his legs and pulling him down, causing them to tumble to the ground. In the end, Hermes was flat on his back with his shirt (the front of his cloak, really- it was all attached) over his face, and the king wasted no time in climbing on top of the normally smug-looking god (haha get it, normally smug looking bc u cant see his face), sitting on his hips so he couldn't move. Of course, he could always just disappear and reappear somewhere else, but where was the fun in that?

"Odysseus, dohohon't! I'm sohohrryy"

"No, I don't think you are- but look at this, you can't even see me! That's no fun, now is it?"

He reached up, pulling the part of Hermes's cloak-shirt-thing (shoat??) that was over his face down to where his chest ended and his ribs began.

"There, that's better! Now I can see you, and you can see me!"

"Nohoho shihit!"

Odysseus gasped in mock offense, placing a hand on his chest.

"Language! I can't let that go unnoticed, now can I? That needs to be treated, if you're going to be around Telemachus more!"

As he finished saying this, he brought a hand down to begin scribbling over the messenger's exposed belly, causing hearty giggles to tumble out of the god's mouth like some sort of dam had burst, and all the pent-up things just came flowing out.

"Hehe's ahalmohohost 21! Thahaht's ahahan ahaduhult!"

Hermes managed to say between giggles, his cheeks flushed a pinkish-red color as he scrunched his eyes shut, crow's feet appearing around the corners of his eyes. Odysseus decided to put his newly-shaven beard to use, and it had been a while since he'd used it on someone, much less anyone other than family.

"Hey Hermes, what's my favorite fruit? Do you remember?"

The king asked, waiting Hermes's answer. Now, the laughing god wasn't stupid, he knew what was going to happen; but where's the fun in not playing along? Besides, it had been a while since he'd really, truthfully laughed; this was a much-needed release.

"Nohoho! Daharlihing, I'm sohohrry! Plehehase-"

While the giggling deity may have been convincing to any other, Odysseus knew he was enjoying himself. Plus, this was a bit of payback for Hermes messing with him, before he was given the Holy Moly before fighting Circe, back on her island. Now, he really did have a taste of the power (heh get it).

"Well, do you? It's ok, I do!"

Odysseus brought his head closer to the god's face, just to fluster him more.

"It's raspberries!"

He watched as the god's face turned a darker shade of red, then he leant down and began nuzzling his face into the messenger's belly, his half-shaven beard adding to the measure of tickles shooting through the latter's body, adding little raspberries here an there. Poor Hermes (not really, he loved it-) was laughing himself silly, but dare he admit it, he was having fun.

"NAHAHAHO! OHOHDHYHY!!!"

The king's ears weren't the best, but he could've sworn he almost went deaf- the god's shrieky laughter was so loud, he was sure all of Ithaca could hear him. Endearingly enough though, his ears were the same color as the blush covering his face, his hair was mussed up, and the wings on his head where happily flapping up and down, as if trying to fly away.

Being a father, (and frequent tickle monster, and trickster,) he knew when someone was at a limit, and when they weren't. He could tell the squirming, shrieking, laughing puddle under him that was Hermes was nearing there, so he gave one last raspberry to the middle of his stomach, squeezing both his sides at the same time to bring out one last giggly shriek before getting off the other, allowing them to breathe as Odysseus picked up his bow, shooting the rope that held the spears in place, causing them to fall onto the floor with a satisfying thump.

"Have fun?"

"Mahaybe...."

And with that, the reinging king of Ithaca walked out, carrying the practice spears to the arena to put them back, passing Telemachus on the way.

"Oh, hey dad! Have you seen Hermes?"

Odysseus only smirked to himself before answering with a simple

"Check my room",

"Oh, uncle!" Hermes sang as he entered the palace. Poseidon sighed as he heard the irritating voice.

"What is it, Hermes?"

"Odysseus tells me that you've messed with him and his crew."

"Well, did he also tell you he blinded my son?" Hermes sighs and flies around Poseidon.

"Uncle, that doesn't give you the right to drown most of his crew."

"It does." Poseidon replied simply. Hermes didn't know why that bothered him so much. Usually, he didn't get involved with the affairs of mortals. His great-grandson had been through a lot, he supposed. He left his wife and child for war. Had to commit some heinous acts during the war. Got caught up with that cyclops. Maybe that's why he cared so much.

"You killed his crew for injuring his son. That's not an eye for an eye at all. Yours was way worse."

"I did what I had to do." Hermes fluttered behind him.

"Then I'll do what I must."

"What?"

Hermes' fingers quickly tased into his sides, and then he fluttered away, out of reach, as Poseidon's arms instinctually snapped down. The messenger god's smile turned smug.

"Nephew," Poseidon warned, "Do not-"

"-tickle you?" Hermes asked. "But why not, uncle? Surely, one of the big three can handle a little bit of tickling."

Hermes knew exactly how to target his pride. It was working.

"Of course I can handle it." Poseidon was firm in his words.

"Great!" Hermes responded by scribbling his fingers along Poseidon's tummy. The god of the sea tried to catch the smaller god's wrists, but he was too quick and flew away.

"No! Hermes, do not."

"Do not what?" He taunted. Poseidon glared, knowing that trick. The playful god shrugged. "Worth a shot." Hermes immediately fluttered close and squeezed just above Poseidon's knees, causing him to stumble back against the wall. The mischievous god's hands darted from place to place, whenever there was an opening. Tasing his sides, scribbling his tummy, scratching at his ribs. Hermes followed as Poseidon slid down the wall.

"That is quite enough!" His voice boomed, clearly holding back laughter.

"Hm, I don't think you've learned your lesson." Hermes taunted playfully, focusing fully on Poseidon's ribs. The elder god grabbed his wrists, slowly descending into deep laughter.

"Enohohough!"

"Not enough." Hermes smirked, lightening his touch as he swirled around Poseidon's gills.

Clearly, his worst spot.

His head threw back and his heels dug into the floor. His back arched against the wall, unable to do anything other than squeeze the younger god's wrists. His laugh started to sound more like giggles, as if he was underwater.

"STAHAHA!" Poseidon gasped, though Hermes wasn't sure why. It's not like gods really needed air like humans did.

"You know," Hermes muses, "I'm pretty sure you could get out of this if you really wanted to."

Poseidon pressed his head back against the wall, closing his eyes tightly. He tried to close his mouth, making his giggles sound muffled and adorably pathetic.

"Wh- whyhyhyhy?!"

"Because you're a god, and you're stronger than me." Hermes gently stroked one of the flaps of his gills with a fingernail. Poseidon lurched forward, his head dipping as he shook his head no. "You like that?"

"Nohohoho!"

"Oh, come on. Look at you." Hermes smiles at the god before him, looking more and more childlike every second he tickles this bad spot.

"Stahahap! I-I'll kihihihill you!" He threatens.

"Not like this, you won't." Hermes taunts.

"Stop- stahahahap and I wihihihill!"

"Kill me if I do tickle you, kill me if I don't tickle you." Hermes clicks his tongue in mock-disappointment. "There's just no winning with you, is there?" The messenger god didn't miss the slight tension as he said the word. "Ah, is that what gets you?" Poseidon was very confused at his nephew's words. And so, stupidly, his laughter-addled brain made a stupid decision to ask.

"Whahahahat are you-" He gasped, pressing his body back against the wall. "Tahahahalking about?" Hermes smirked.

"Tickle tickle tickle! Does this tickle, dear uncle? Awe, you're so ticklish!" Hermes teased in a babyish voice. Poseidon's face blushed, his mind unsure how to handle such infantile teasing. He turned his head away, once again closing his mouth, so his giggles sounded adorably pathetic.

"Awe, uncle, look at you!" Hermes cooed, scratching soft fingers along his gills. "Have you learned your lesson?"

In his attack, the younger god forgot to keep up his guard, and so didn't quite notice when Poseidon's hands slipped off his wrists, and onto his sides, squeezing. Hermes immediately started giggling and flew backwards, away from his uncle's grasp. Poseidon took a few minutes to settle his laughter and collect himself.

"Oh, Hermes. I'm going to kill you." Poseidon threatened as he stood. But his voice was playful, not serious, and Hermes knew he was in for a wrecking. Like an idiot, Hermes smirked, and taunted back.