#ldr help

•communication is key.

Setting up times to talk and actively being able to communicate is very important. Yes, every once in a while you need alone time but it ultimately is the one thing you need.

•trust.

If you’re gonna be in a LDR, you have to be able to trust the other person. If that isn’t possible, then build trust before starting the relationship. Do not be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. That applies for anyone. I know not to be extremely nosey and in my boyfriends social media all the time because I trust him. He has all of my passwords and I know he doesn’t snoop and rarely gets on them unless I ask him to do something. We give each other space and are respectful of each other.

•Planning a trip.

Whether you meet up halfway or to your s/o’s house, being able to meet or be able to see each other irl every once in a while is something that is honestly really needed. Being able to physically be with them is amazing after not seeing one another at all or for a while. Planning it all can be very stressful and difficult, but in the end it is worth it. It was a lot of work and I needed the help of others to get my boyfriend over here.

•it takes time (and money).

Depending on how far or close you are, it all leads up to costing some money. Whether it be for essentials, gas, food, a plane ticket, etc. needed on the trip, you’ll absolutely need money to be able to get you through it. Saving up is what I do. I’ve done little jobs and gotten lots of money from them and figuring out what goes to what is very helpful.

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I thought when the time crept closer to doing the application and to getting this all sorted out I’d be excited. Practically jumping out of my skin.

But I’m not. I’ve never been such a nervous wreck in my life. I’m always anxious and always worried.

I know it’s useless. But I honestly can’t help it. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I get it. Tonight as I skype with my husband I feel the empty side of the bed. I feel the hole in my heart, the space between my arms.

I want you to know that although the physical alone feeling is real, so so real some days, you’re never really alone emotionally. Be it your partner, your friends, or just someone like me who knows what you’re going through, you always will have someone to reach out to.

Some days it feels like you just won’t make it. Some days it feels like a lifetime since you last saw your partner in person. Some days it feels like you might never meet them in person. For those days remember that hope remains. Working hard everyday to maintain an LDR is a struggle in itself. But the struggle is worth it, if what you feel is true.

Keep your head up and do not be afraid to reach out. Even if it’s to just rant about your frustrations and fears. Even if you don’t expect expert advice. Or if you do. Reach out if you need to. Speak up, and hold onto hope.

I get in these moods sometimes where I get insanely petty over “normal” relationships. Like...not my own with friends and family but like....my friends on fb.

Lemme give you an example:

I have a friend I went to high school with and her and her boyfriend are constantly posting passive aggressive shit about each other on fb. And it irritates me beyond comprehension.

Like I know that people bicker and their relationship is none of my business but sometimes I literally just want to shake them both, give them both a slap, and tell them to either get the fuck over it or fucking break up already.

I get so jealous. And so petty.

Every night I think to myself:

Man, there’s so many fucking disfunctiobal relationships, and marriages where these fuckers don’t even realize how lucky they are to be around their partners.

And I know that’s partly irrational. Because it’s just my jealousy talking. But maaaan. Do I just want to lecture these fucks every night on how to appreciate what they have. It’s hard not to.

Sometimes, it’s really not fair that people who couldn’t care less if their relationship is good or not gets to be with their partners.

I just want to be with my husband. And these ungrateful loonies get to be with theirs.

I miss my husband 5vr.

Seriously every day.