#ldr problems

The Anatomy of a Midnight Ache

and she wouldn’t mind

Mau bilang tak terasa, tapi terasa jua setahuan kita berumah tangga, wajarlah dikatakan bahwa menikah adalah menyempurnakan separuh agama, menikah adalah ibadah, ibadah sepanjang hidup, makanya wajar setahun terakhir ada banyak lika liku yang telah kita lalui. Mulai dari keputusan LDM (yang awalnya kita optimis merasa bisa tapi ternyata tidak bisa), keputusanku resign dan ikut denganmu ke ibukota, beradapatasi dengan pekerjaan baru, dengan makanan-makanan disini, beradaptasi hidup bersama mu di setiap harinya dan masih banyak lagi.

Aku bahagia bisa melihat senyuman mu setiap pagi serta wajahmu yang terlelap setiap malamnya (kalo tidak lagi dinas diluar kota), aku bahagia keliling mall untuk mencicipi makanan2 yang baru bagiku, aku bahagia wisata kuliner di tempat2 jajan yg kamu sarankan, aku bahagia dengan berkeliling melihat gemerlapan cahaya lampu ibu kota di malam hari.

Aku bahagia memiliki teman cerita, teman menangis, teman bermanja dan teman berjuang, jadilah satu satunya teman hidupku yang menyayangi dengan perhatian dan selalu membimbingku dengan kesabaran

Yang dipelajari tahun ini, hidup itu bukan tentang karir, tapi ada yg harus di prioritaskan

You know what’s really, really hard?

Having chronic health conditions along with your parents also having them..

along with only one parent working.. along with my (black) dad always getting fucked on his pay… along with living check to check

Along with him, not allowed to work overtime anymore..along with them, both, breaking down body wise, along with having to try to take care of myself..along with always being poor … along with my broken down bodied mom taking care of her sick narcissis ungreatful parents along with me… not her taking care of herself bc we just can’t…

along with hardly having food.. fucked up car problems … constant gas issues with appointments… constantly canceling appointments because your car is broken down and you can’t afford new tires. ..toilet paper..? constant stress on our bodies. stress kills people. And all of our hearts have been having lots of pains…

Along with seeing my parents get more and more tired and stressed and fucked over by people… even our BILLS trying to take and take more money that we don’t have… sometimes he has to skip out on going to work bc of no gas that’s fucking SAD. PATHETIC

Along with having a partner who is all the way across the world and it’s not like you could have any stress relief, with them because they’re going through stuff too and work alot and they live too far away to even comfort you

Along with always having to lose your teeth only at 22 years old, because you can’t afford to get root canals or to get them fixed

They say money, can’t buy you happiness, but… it can make you more comfortable less stressed and mentally ill if you could afford the things that helped you, but you just can’t… ever ever