#laddin

Since those terrible days, I have on several occasions come so close to death that I can tell you what detergent she uses to wash her robes (it's Tide Free, by the way), and I can promise you that when you're dying, no matter how much time you've spent with your kids, you will wish it had been more.

Shayde leaned against the building, the low eaves shading her from the afternoon sun. She was partaking in one of her favorite past-times, people-watching. Laid out in front of her was the open-air market just up the street from her house, and all the variety of the Salma District residents made for some pleasing entertainment. It was a nice change from the hectic pace of the last few months. She and Gos had spent a laborious few weeks in Lions Arch, doing salvage and recovery work for the Lionguard. It was hard work, but it served to help Shayde regain her pre-poisoning level of fitness. And the pay was decent. After that she took her lover along on several bounties. She smirked remembering their trip to the eastern Brisban region. She hadn’t a clue how she was going to go about tracking down one specific Nightmare Court member, but the pay was too good to pass it up. Luckily they had run into an old acquaintance of Gos’ by the name of…Skor, no Skar, no…something like that, who helped them track down and secure the target. Who knows where the hell her lover had hooked up with a sylvari, and a quite garish one at that. The combination of red and purple was quite hard on the eyes. She was just glad she didn’t have to look at that every day. Well, he had been helpful in getting the job done; she could say that for him. A few weeks of bounties and Shayde had enough money to pay the taxes on the house and cover a few other bills. Plus some of her investments had started bringing in money again. Of course the smuggling operation out of LA wasn’t coming back anytime soon, but at least finances weren’t so tight any more. Still, she needed to talk to her accountant, Josir, about finding a new venture to back. She had recently heard about some newly discovered copper mine out west of Brisban. Maybe she’d look into that. “Thief, stop thief!” a voice bellowed across the square. Shayde spotted a diminutive but very speedy figure racing toward her. As he ran by, she grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him quickly into the adjacent alley, concealing both of them in the shadows. She could tell the kid was familiar with the tactic of stealth, as he stopped dead, not moving a muscle or making so much as a squeak. The merchant stopped at the corner, out of breath. He took a cursory glance down the alley, then swore and turned to make his way back to his stall. The stealth faded and Shayde looked down at her catch. He was a small boy, with tanned skin excepting his cheeks which were rosy from his running. His deep brown eyes matched the unruly mop of hair on his head. The boy waited one more breath, then started struggling against Shayde’s grip. “Let me go! I didn’t take anything, I…” He looked up at her and stopped his struggles. “Miss Lissa?” This startled Shayde almost enough to let go of the boy. “Miss…how do you know my sister?” It was obvious the child had mistaken her for her twin, and had muddled Melissa’s name. The kid stared at her for a few more seconds, then a look of understanding crossed his face. “Ooooh, sisters!” he exclaimed. Shayde pulled him further into the alley, then turned to confront him. “Okay, spill.” She wasn’t at all concerned that this tiny child had done Melissa any harm, but she did like to keep tabs on her. “When I was lost she found me and took me back to the…” At this point he looked down and away and started trying to tug his arm out of Shayde’s hand. “Where?” she pressed. The boy hung his head and replied, “The orphanage.” “Oh.” Shayde let go of the kid’s arm. He probably got enough of being dragged around from the priests. He looked up at her from under his long, dark eyelashes. “Are you going to take me back too?” Shayde could just imagine how that would go. The priests would have to choose between screaming her out of the building or dragging the boy off for his punishment. No, she couldn’t do that to the kid. Instead she gestured at some stacked crates. “Let’s sit down and discuss it first.” The boy looked at her with wary eyes, but he climbed up on the crates so he was eye-level with Shayde. “First things first,” Shayde started. “What’s your name, kid?” “Laddin,” he replied. Shayde held out her hand. “Good to meet you, Laddin. I’m…” she paused for a moment, considering whether to tell the kid her real name, or her ‘legit’ name. “I’m Shayde,” she finally disclosed. Laddin took her hand and shook it, then his eyes went wide. “Shayde? You’re the one they’re always talking about?” She chuckled to herself. “I’m sure they are.” She didn’t bother asking what ‘they’ said. She leaned back against the wall of the alley. “So Laddin, what did you steal?” The boy’s face went red and he lowered his eyes. Shayde was glad to see he hadn’t lost his sense of guilt yet. Slowly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lollypop. The thing was so small it probably only cost a copper. She stepped toward the boy and held out her hand, pleased that he handed the candy over without complaint. “I’m going to take this back to the merchant. But if you wait here for me, I’ll bring you something else instead. Okay?” Laddin kept his gaze on the ground, but nodded at this. When Shayde returned a few minutes later, she handed over a still-warm raspberry pie to the pouting boy. A look of joy crossed his face. “Wow, thank you!” he exclaimed. The boy immediately dove in and began devouring the pastry, smiling up at Shayde with a raspberry stained grin every few bites. As he finished, Shayde decided it was time to get down to business. “Okay Laddin, how do you do at your lessons?” The boy’s sticky smile turned into frown. “I, um…I don’t go very much.” Shayde nodded. “I figured as much.” She remembered when she had been Laddin’s age at the orphanage. She had resisted school mostly out of spite toward the priests. She had actually been eager to learn, she just wanted to do it her own way. And while she did eventually learn to read and came to love it, she never mastered mathematics, which she now regretted. She leaned over toward the boy. “Believe it or not, you will need to know the things they teach you in class. You don’t have to agree with all of it, but you should learn it.” Apparently unhappy at this announcement, Laddin began inching toward the edge of the crate. Shayde placed her hand down on either side of him, essentially trapping him there for the moment. “Hold on a minute. I have a proposal for you.” Learning to make an honest living instead of thieving and killing to get by had been a hard moral lesson she had learned not too long ago. Life would go much better for this boy if he didn’t fall into the same pattern. “If you go to class everyday…” The boy moaned at this, but she kept on. “Then you come to my house after school and work for me for one hour, I’ll pay you one silver a day.” The kid’s eyes lit up at this, but then he hedged. “What do I have to do for it?” he asked. Shayde smiled, knowing she had him. “Just stuff around the house; bringing in firewood or helping with the cooking. That sort of thing.” The boy thought it over for about half a second, then exclaimed, “It’s a deal!” He then proceeded to spit into his palm and hold it out for Shayde. She looked down at the mixture of grime, raspberry juice, and saliva pooling in the kid’s hand. Well, at least he didn’t expect a blood oath. She spit into her own hand as well and sealed the deal. After giving Laddin the details on where she lived, as well as who else lived there, she sent him on his way. The boy shot out of the alley like a bolt a lightning; a very sticky bolt of lightning, Shayde thought as she examined her befouled hand. She would have to make sure that washing up was included on a list of the boy’s duties.

There's so much I did wrong, and so much I didn't do right, and so much I would have done differently if I could, or if I'd even known how.

(And when you "like" this, I know it's meant as support, so thank you to those who do.)

But some days, it's hard to do anything at all. Anything. And this is one of those days.