#kurb

I was tagged by @janellion​ to participate in a self-ship aesthetic. (Thank you, you are the loml.) I ended up being unable to settle on a colour so this aesthetic blurb really just turned into a stream of consciousness type essay. Please enjoy anyways.

Disclaimer: A lot of cheesy language coming up ahead.

When we hit the road, we made a pact. “No set destination” was the name of the game. You said, “Let our instincts be our guide,” although that turned out to be a lie. Three hours in and we were hopelessly lost. Not that you admitted it then.

“How can I be lost,” you said, slipping your hand in mine, “when I’ve got you by my side? No matter where we go, I’ll always be home.”

(I pretended to gag over your mushy sentiment. You pretended not to notice when I squeezed your hand tighter.)

“Whatever, but we’re making a travel itinerary now.”

Weeks passed.

We clocked up the miles, collected our souvenirs, and crossed every city from our bucket list. We stayed the longest in a beautiful ocean town. Towards the end of our trip, as our Toyota Camry merged onto the highway and that little ocean town became a speck in the rearview mirror, you asked me what had been my favourite part. Which was my favourite town? My favourite roads? My favourite memory?

I hadn’t replied then, too busy fighting a losing battle against sleep. I will answer you now.

My favourite destination will always be you. (You are my comfort and my home.) My favourite road is the path traced by my fingers as they dance up your spine. (You shiver so beautifully under my touch.) And my favourite memory? The night we arrived in that beautiful ocean town when you placed your heart in my trembling hands and said to me:

“Explore.”

That night, I learned to navigate your body. Ever the devout scholar, I charted your topography, mapping every landmark in the dark, and committed them to memory. In the light of day, I took in your features anew and I discovered you were just as beautiful under the morning sun as you were under my sheets. This I told you, and you laughed like you didn’t believe me.

 “Now who’s the sentimental one?” you teased. But still you intertwined your fingers in mine and drew my hand up for a kiss.

  I was whole before I met you, and whole after still. I did not need you in my life to stop a gap in my heart. But I want you here—in my life, in my heart. In my present, in my future. You are courageous, and beautiful, and kind; you are familiar, and warm, and dear. All this I’ve known from the moment we first met — I knew your soul before I ever knew your name.