Jungkook couldn't get the feeling of her lips out of his mind.

Here he was laying in bed at 4:23 in the morning, tossing and turning in an attempt to get comfortable with the one sliver of knowledge that was eating him alive like the aftereffects of a plague: he had his very first kiss. And not only that—he had it with Y/N.

To say he was stunned would be putting it lightly. Hell, he felt like he had an out-of-body experience the moment her mouth touched his. Words couldn't even begin to describe the sensation, and too many different emotions were running through his body that he didn't know which to process, so unbelievably overwhelmed by everything that had happened. And though he was expecting to hate her for what she did, words of how dare you make me feel this way! stuck on the tip of his tongue after seeing with his own two eyes who she really was, how she acted at parties and treated the many men who flocked to her in hopes that they would be the one to change her ways and spend more than a fleeting hour with her, he couldn't.

He couldn’t hate her, because he found himself completely, hopelessly, undeniably falling for her. And it was like nothing he'd ever experienced in his entire life.

On one hand, he couldn't stop berating himself over how stupid he was. This is what Y/N does! She would catch people in the stickiness of her web and spin them around and around until they were trapped in her silk, and then she would devour their hearts and leave them there, as good as dead while she moved on to the next guy. He knew if he wasn't careful he would become her next victim, left helpless to her many tortures until she grew tired of him as well and abandoned him without so much as a nice knowing you.

But he couldn't find it in himself to stop.

Because she had kissed him, she had actually kissed him, and the more Jungkook thought about the feeling of her lips—so soft and light in pressure against his and tasting of nothing but a flavor that was so brilliantly her—the more he felt his mind delve deeper into the abyss of insanity without so much as a care in the world. He allowed himself to live on cloud nine just this once while he was in the safety of his dorm, tucked away inside the comfort of his bed and surrounded by nothing but the black emptiness and silence of his room, the two qualities he'd grown the most fond of in his escapade of bliss. Nothing could take this moment away from him, nothing, and so he let his hand wander to where it usually did when he thought about Y/N at times like these: his pants.

He visibly shuddered at the feeling of his fingers curling around his member that was already straining against his boxers with a painful erection, allowing himself to fully give in to his temptations and needs since he was now alone. There was no one around to make him feel ashamed, embarrassed; there wasn't a crippling anxiety clawing away at his insides that prohibited him from listening to his inner desires and doing what he so desperately wanted: to truly be himself.

So, he took advantage of the fact that he had a practically nonexistent roommate (he couldn't have gotten luckier with that one), and he started pleasuring himself.

There was no doubt that he would finish quickly—he had the feeling of Y/N's lips still fresh on his own, for crying out loud—and that was enough to not only arouse him physically, but emotionally tenfold. He was in a constant state of disbelief (he had already pinched himself tonight to see if he was dreaming more times than he'd like to admit), and with that came a stumped mind that wanted, desperately needed to process everything. He had spent the majority of the night on the floor with his back pressed up against the door after practically flinging himself beyond the threshold of his room, gasps of breath falling from his parted lips while he took in the sheer impossibility of what just happened. There was nothing he could say to calm himself down, because he didn't know what to think; he couldn't even remember how to think. It was as if she had snapped a wire in his brain the second she kissed him that caused an overall shortage, sparks of electricity firing within the organ and sending every fiber of his being ablaze until there was nothing—nothing but the sizzling sensation that imbedded the constant reminder of just how much she affected him into his lips. He knew this wasn't normal, even for him. He knew he wouldn't act this way if it had been anyone else.

He knew it was because of her.

"Y/N..." He allowed himself to whimper out her name as his hand continued to pump the smooth skin of his length, to pretend if only for a moment that she was here and he was beneath her, over her, inside her, even if he knew the emotional pain that it would bring him later. He would come to his senses and realize the stupidity of his actions, even kick himself for letting things get this far, but for now, he didn't care. Because he had kissed her, he had fucking kissed her, and that was enough to make his heart climax for the rest of his life.

"Ah!" He bucked his hips and winced as his orgasm took over, showering his bare chest in the thoughts of her that produced this liquid seed and covering his skin yet again with the dewy reminder of just how deep he really was into this situation.

When had he become so god damn emotional?

While he was cleaning himself up, he couldn't help but notice the exceedingly short amount of time it took for him to finish—shorter than he originally anticipated, to say the least. And while his orgasms usually approached him rapidly and forcefully when he thought of her, he knew this one was enhanced because of the events from earlier tonight.

He knew he was wasting his time—there was no way in hell Y/N was up at almost five in the morning thinking about him—and after this, he was going to get his soul obliterated into a thousand tiny shards sharp enough to cut through glass. But this day marked the day of Jeon Jungkook's demise; his logical mind had officially been overrun by his emotional heart, and as he was rolling over onto his side and finally drifting off to sleep, the only thing that he could dream of was the feeling of Y/N's lips.

•••

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You... kissed him? And that's it?"

"Yes," you exclaimed, your head on cloud nine and your heart among the stars as you sat around a blazing bonfire with your friends in the middle of Jimin's backyard.

Lynn stared back at you, obviously perplexed. "...How?"

You simply rolled your eyes, though it was impossible for the smile to be wiped from your face, the expression having been a constant feature since the moment his lips left yours. "I can go out with a guy and not sleep with him, Lynn. It's not impossible."

Your friend tutted, "Could've fooled me."

But you were too ecstatic to let her negativity drag you down. Never had you experienced anything so rich, so right as the feeling of Jungkook's lips on yours. Sure, the kiss didn't last long—he pulled away once the first few seconds of shock wore off—but it was a kiss nonetheless, an actual kiss with the boy who wouldn't even look into your eyes and fled from you every chance he got when you first met. And the sensation was much better than any lustful pleasure you had ever exchanged with a random stranger or attractive acquaintance; it didn't even come close. You had never experienced anything like that—a physical action that stirred such strong emotion within the depths of your core and heart. Feelings were something you’ve made sure to avoid and run away from these past four years, but with Jungkook... you found yourself wanting to embrace them.

So you simply nibbled on your bottom lip and shifted towards the other conversation taking place around the circle of the fire, your limbs practically bursting with the desire to just talk about him to someone, anyone who would listen.

"Are you sure you aren't just acting this way because you see him as a challenge?" Kate's words were suddenly dragging you back down to earth and the air around you that was filled with smoke from three different sources: the bowl Lynn was currently cherrying from Namjoon's hit, the cigarette hanging from Yoongi's lips, and the giant bonfire in the center of the circle that you all made with your chairs.

"Excuse me?" You scrunched your eyebrows in disbelief and directed your full attention to your friend.

"Oh come on, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," Kate chuckled in an attempt to maintain the lighthearted nature between the two of you when she saw your mood starting to turn sour. "The guy is different than what you're used to—a mystery you can't solve. Don't you think you may be eyeing him as a prize you'll receive at the end of the game?" Her eyebrow was raised into her hairline questioningly.

You could barely even pull yourself together enough to scoff. "Jungkook is a human being, not some object to be won," you furiously corrected her.

But she simply shrugged. "All I'm saying is that I know you. Every time you show any genuine interest in a guy—which is extremely rare, mind you—it goes away as soon as you fuck him."

You were fuming at this point, smoke practically shooting from your ears to add a fourth source of substance in the air as you stared your friend down, your mind trying to compute the sheer audacity of her words before you were quickly yanking the bowl out of Lynn's hands and taking a hit of whatever was already lit from her turn. You let the substance fill your lungs, inhaling so deeply that your chest began to burn from the inside out though you welcomed the pain, let it distract you and keep your mouth occupied from starting an argument, because only you knew your true feelings, not Kate. You knew how the beautiful boy had somehow managed to flip your entire world upside down from the moment you met him; you knew how he was making you question your lifestyle—something you always took pride in, something no one had ever done before. And right when you were about to snap, about to stand up and speak your thoughts and give Kate a piece of your mind, your eyes met Yoongi's from across the flames.

You pulled away from the ceramic piece and slowly exhaled the smoke through your lips and nose, a brooding expression on your face as he silently stared back at you. His expression said it all: over the loud conversation to his right booming from Taehyung and Hoseok, he had heard your interaction with Kate, saw it all with his heavy-lidded eyes that were always cool and calculating, never giving away any internal feelings.

But you could read him.

After all those nights spent gazing at him from across the shared pillow that your face had been shoved into mere minutes beforehand from the power of his thrusts, the daze of lust cleared from the air and leaving nothing but your true selves stripped bare and vulnerable to expose every demon that you both possessed, you had learned to read him.

And sometimes, you wished you hadn't.

"Y/N." Your name was but another sound in the smoke as it left Yoongi's lips, the toe of his shoe digging into the dirt to put out his finished cigarette. "Do you wanna go for a walk?"

His words were a question but his tone was level, commanding, as if he was giving you the option though you never really had a choice.

So you simply nodded and handed the bowl back to Lynn before rising to your feet, your hands shoved into the deep pockets of your hoodie as you followed your friend through the large backyard until you were stepping onto the black cement and starting your walk down the desolate street.

"So you kissed him." His monotonous voice finally rung out among the silence, and you were thankful that he didn't start off the conversation about your dispute with Kate. "I'm assuming that means the date went well, then?"

You nodded, and at the memory of your time spent bowling with Jungkook you couldn't help but smile. "It went better than well," you replied softly, though the happiness in your tone couldn't be hidden. "I picked him up and we went to the bowling alley and he–"

"Wait, bowling alley?" There was an amused chuckle that fell from his lips as he interrupted your words. "Please tell me this is some strange euphemism for smoking out of a bowl."

"Bowling is an actual sport, thank you very much!" You scoffed, though you knew you were just defending the younger boy's interest. "He was practically a pro at it."

Yoongi simply tutted, "Okay, I'll be sure to invite him to my 12 year old cousin’s birthday party."

You wanted to laugh along with your friend—after all, you initially had the same thought when the location for your date had been chosen, though you were just thankful to get a date at all—but you couldn't help but grow defensive. "Yes it's... different than our usual activities," you tilted your head contemplatively while rounding the corner of the cul-de-sac and starting onto the next street. "But that's what I like about him. Jungkook is different."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Yoongi held up his hands in joking surrender. "Did he seem into it as well or did he still shit his pants every time you went in a ten foot radius of him?"

"Yoongi!" You scolded with a light smack on his shoulder. "He seemed a bit better... he got into the car with me, after all."

Your tone was full of amusement though you couldn't help but think of the truth in them; before, you were lucky if Jungkook even acknowledged your presence or responded when you spoke to him. Now you had been in his dorm room, worn his sweatshirt, gone on a date with him and even kissed him. Sure it wasn't the fastest moving relationship you'd ever had—in fact, the slow rate at which things were progressing actually scared you. But things were progressing nonetheless, and for Jungkook you were willing to wait as long as he needed.

"You make it seem like you're this horrible monster who doesn't deserve his attention," Yoongi chuckled at the thought.

You simply tutted, though you could feel your spirits plummeting lower and lower by the second at the thought. "I don't," you mumbled quietly, more to yourself than to the boy next to you.

At that, Yoongi skidded to a halt. The slight haze in your mind from the illegal substance you inhaled just moments prior caused you to register the movement a tad later than usual, and it wasn't until you were glancing over your shoulder with a confused frown as to where your friend had gone that you stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"Y/N, you do realize that you owe nothing to that guy, right?" His voice was full of incredulous disbelief, as if he couldn't even fathom you thinking otherwise. "You barely even know him."

"That's not true," you meekly defended, though you knew there was no use. As much as you didn't like to admit it, the only things you knew about Jungkook were things that you pushed him to tell you, practically forcing the information out through torturous tactics as well as practically forcing your lips onto his. Had he wanted the kiss at all? Judging by the way he stumbled away and flung himself into the dormitory without saying a single word to you, your guess was no.

Yoongi simply shrugged and shook his head. "I'm not gonna get into it with you because I don't know what you guys have gone through, but all I'm saying is you're free to do absolutely whatever you want without feeling guilty about it. You two aren't together."

It was silent as you pondered his words, and despite the little voice in that back of your head that wanted to protest and argue and defend your feelings for Jungkook, you knew that he was right. These were the same ideals that you prided yourself on day in and day out; you couldn't be controlled or owned by anybody. You would never throw away your ideology just because it didn't measure up to somebody else's, and you would never let anyone shame you for it. You were free to live your life how you pleased.

That being said, you've never valued someone's opinion as much as you valued Jungkook's, and over time you only found yourself caring more and more about what the brilliant freshman thought of you.

"But I want to be..." you trailed off, your voice so small that it was barely audible even to Yoongi right next to you, but once his ears registered the words his lips were turning down in a sympathetic frown.

"I know," he sighed, and then his arm was wrapping around your side and pulling you into his chest. His embrace was comforting, supportive, though it felt nothing like Jungkook's and you couldn't help but compare the two sensations since your mind wouldn't shut the fuck up about him.

The two of you stood like that on the side of the road for a while, nothing but the silence that came along with the crisp night air filling the space around you until his voice was stirring the still moment. "I promise," he started, and already you were pulling away to look at him with furrowed brows because you didn’t think you've ever heard your friend begin a sentence like that, "that if I see Jungkook again, whether that be at a party or over by the tree, I'll make an effort to befriend him."

Now you really were pulling away in confusion. "Befriend him?"

"Yes," he answered matter-of-factly. "You know, talk to him—be nice to him. It would help if he knows that not all your friends are a bunch of idiotic douchebags."

You couldn't help but laugh at his choice of words. "And you don't think you fall into that category?"

Yoongi shrugged cockily. "I'm the only one you slept with, aren't I?"

Your laughter fell to silence at his words, and as much as you didn't want the situation to turn awkward because that goes against everything that you stand for, it did. Because the one thing ringing in the forefront of your mind was how he had offered to start your fling again that day on the picnic bench in the woods.

You knew it had just been a casual offering—Yoongi's lack of commitment and laid-back attitude left little room for things to bother him if you declined—though the timing and manner that he went about it couldn't help but leave this impression on you.

"You have beach week to thank for that," you settled on saying, knowing it was the endless amount of drugs and alcohol in your system that night that led you into the arms of one of your friends, "not the fact that you're any less of an idiotic douchebag."

Yoongi opened his mouth in a playfully silent scoff as if you had offended him.

"Your choice of words, not mine." You quickly held up your hand in defense.

The mood thankfully returned to a light one as you continued to walk down the street in a comfortable silence. Yoongi wasn't a man of many words, and that was something you liked about him. He didn't feel the need to fill every moment with constant chatter, and that fact alone was very refreshing after hanging out with your boisterous group of friends.

It reminded you of Jungkook. Though you shouldn't have been surprised; a lot of things did these days.

"We should start heading back," Yoongi sighed as his steps slowed to a stop, his hands digging into the pockets of his jacket no doubt in search of his pack of cigarettes. "They're probably wondering where we are."

"I couldn’t care less," you grumbled beneath your breath, more to yourself than to your friend as you kicked around a pebble on the ground with the toe of your shoe.

Yoongi simply looked at you. "Y/N," he sighed, bringing a cigarette to his lips and cupping his hand over the lighter to ignite the flame. You watched as the end of the stick became engulfed in a spark of orange that sizzled and embedded into the tobacco. "You shouldn't let Kate get to you. You know how she is," he continued while a puff of smoke filled the air.

You simply tutted as the two of you started walking back towards the house. "That's what makes it worse. I know what she's capable of; I mean she's one of my best friends. Why would she try to get under my skin like that?"

"Did you really expect anything less?" Yoongi looked at you with an expression that said come on, Y/N. This is Kate we're talking about.

"Yeah, yeah," you brushed him off with a sigh. "It's just—it makes me so mad. I wouldn't care if it were any other guy; I mean you know we trade off or share them all the time, no big deal. But Jungkook is different. I don't know how to convince her of that because nobody seems to fucking believe me."

"I mean, you do have quite the track record," Yoongi admitted with an uneasy yet amused expression when you turned to glare at him. "Hey, I'm just saying," he held up his hands defensively.

"Yeah, you don't think I know that?" You huffed out. "I get reminded of it enough when I'm with Jungkook. He seems to think I'm the devil incarnate."

"Ah, he'll come around," Yoongi brushed it off with a wave of his hand through the air. "As for Kate, she may be a bit more difficult. I say you just avoid her like the plague."

You gave him another look as if the say, really. "Can't you just, I don't know, distract her or something? Just so she's not trying to hop on his dick every time they're in the same vicinity."

Yoongi took a drag of his cigarette. "Sorry, I only fuck one person per friend group," he responded on exhale.

You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm. "Yoong, I'm serious."

"I know you are. Why do you think I always butt in every time she looks like she's about to put a fork in him and have her next meal? I was helping you that day you brought him over to the tree."

You let out a sigh. "I know you were, and I thank you for that." He was right; he did more to aid your situation with Jungkook than you gave him credit for, including the advice on how to ask the skittish boy out on a proper date.

Yoongi glanced over at you before speaking again. "You know, why don't you tell the others about this as well? I'm sure with all of our strength combined, we can hold her back from jumping him."

You couldn't help but let out a tut of amusement before shaking your head, the sight of Jimin's house coming into view as you turned into the cul-de-sac. "I think I'm just gonna let it be. They'll get the hint that I'm serious about him once he starts coming around more often."

"Oh, babe, they already do. I'm pretty sure everyone lost their shit the day you turned down a bowl pack."

This time you actually chuckled. "You make it seem like I'm a full blown addict."

Yoongi simply shrugged. "If the shoe fits," and it was the last words spoken before you approached your friends.

"God, what took so long?" Lynn's voice was thick with smoke and boomed across the fire pit as the two of you took your respective seats. "Trouble getting it up, Yoong?"

"We were talking. I had to finish my cigarette," Yoongi swiftly covered for you as he tossed the butt into the fire.

"Wouldn't that be great, Y/N?" Taehyung got your attention to include you in the conversation. "We were thinking about going to a club this Friday instead of a party."

"Yeah, aren't you tired of seeing some of the same people at every place?" Hoseok chimed in to help convince you.

You definitely didn't need convincing. Skipping out on a night at a frat party would save you from having constant run-ins with people that you've slept with in the past. It's gotten you in trouble on more than one occasion, though the encounter that stuck out the most in your mind was the one that caused Jungkook to flee the scene and ignore you for two weeks.

"Yeah, I'm game," you answered with a shrug of your shoulders.

After all, you were trying to start anew with the beautiful boy. And what better way to do that than a change of scenery?

•••

Fireworks.

That's the blinding sensation Jungkook felt when he saw Y/N for the first time after her lips touched his.

He hadn't been looking for her—he swore, he hadn't—but it was just by mere coincidence that his feet led him past the old oak tree where he just so happened to know she spent her time at this particular time of day.

He felt like he was going insane. In what world would he actually go out of his way to look for her? He quickly shook his head to himself. That’s clearly not what he was doing. He just so happened to take this route today because he needed... books! From the library. For his art class tonight. Art books, of course.

He was screwed.

“Jungkook!” He heard her voice call out to him before he saw her, and the light timbre of her tone sounded like the chime of the wind, spinning and swirling in different melodies that danced around him in one grand symphony of euphonious chords that he swore in that moment he wanted to hear for the rest of his life, from the second he woke up to the moment he fell asleep.

In short, her voice saying his name was the best sound he’s ever heard in his entire life.

He halted in his steps—not even his feet betrayed him this time, but instead his heart—and turned towards the one source that he knew would have him melting like putty in the palm of her hand in a way that he’s never experienced before. He had always been so stubborn, so strict in his ways and set on his ideals, though the girl who stood before him possessed the ability to strip him bare so that every insecurity and vulnerability he’s ever felt in his entire life was visible to the naked eye. No human being should ever have that much power over him, and yet here she was, smiling that radiant beam in all of her glory in a way that made Jungkook question if she had actually, genuinely been innocent this entire time and truthfully wasn’t aware of the effect she had on him.

Maybe he had misjudged her all along. Maybe she didn’t have a clue.

“Hi,” he forced himself to speak—and by forced, he just opened his mouth and let his vocal chords do the rest, because his internal being seemed to have a mind of its own these days.

A light, dusty pink shade akin to a soft velvet rose crept across the apples of her cheeks, and thank god it wasn’t Jungkook’s turn to speak because he would have surely been made a mute man at the sight of her actually blushing over him.

“Hi,” she responded, her tone small, demeanor timid, and if the young boy didn’t know any better he would’ve never thought this was the same girl who he’d heard all those incriminating rumors about. “Um, how’ve you been?”

Better, now that you’re here, he wanted to say—what the fuck? “Fine,” he answered, a response as polished and tame as always. “And you?”

There was a moment of silence as she stared at him, her gaze soft, tender, as if she was memorizing the color wheel that spun in the irises and made up the intricacies of his warm, chocolate brown eyes. “Fine,” she parted her lips to reply, and then the faint, distant smile on her features reappeared.

Jungkook didn’t know how to handle this new Y/N. He didn’t know how to handle any Y/N, but at least the bold, confident, persistent Y/N was what he was accustomed to. But this—this soft-spoken, blushing, timid Y/N—this was new. And once again he was left out of his comfort zone, thrown overboard into the tumultuous and raging sea without so much as a life vest and completely lost, as if he was meeting her for the very first time all over again. Just went he thought that his logical, analytical mind had finally started to crack her beautiful enigma, she surprised him yet again.

“Um...” she stalled, seeming to get lost in her thoughts as she looked away to blink and clear her throat before turning back to him. “How was the rest of your weekend?”

The rest of your weekend—a key reminder that she had been with him a huge portion of his Friday night that ended with not only a handshake, which he‘d only recently worked up the courage to do, but a kiss. He kissed her, Jungkook had, and his eyes were immediately drawn towards the pink supple flesh of her lips that moved with each dulcet sound and word that left her mouth.

As if trained like one of Pavlov’s dogs, his member in his pants instinctively twitched, the memory of their kiss sparking the reaction out of him (thanks to all those late nights he stayed up thinking about her) and causing him to get painfully and undeniably hard.

He had just popped a boner while standing directly in front of Y/N over the mere thought of her lips.

Thankfully, her eyes were fixated on his face; though maybe that only made matters worse, because her brows were instantly furrowing at the way sheer mortification slowly twisted onto his features.

“What’s wrong?” She quickly asked, and Jungkook was torn between wanting to push her away and run to his dorm room as fast as his legs would take him to live out a long, happy life of hermitage, or to kiss her again.

Hermitage it was.

“Jungkook!” She was shouting his name as he turned to run away, and all thoughts of taking a new name and making a new life for himself instantly vanished the second her hand made contact with his arm.

Burning. That’s what the flesh felt like where her bare skin met his, and god damn it if his erection didn’t grow to its full size when any part of his body was under her touch.

“Stop!” He quickly cried out, desperate at this point to get away from her or at least adjust the crotch of his jeans, for god’s sake!, when she suddenly released his arm.

And that’s when he booked it to the nearest restroom in hopes of some relief.

•••

He hated you.

He absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt hated you. And there was nothing you could do about it.

You’ve tried everything over the past couple of months. You’ve greeted him outside his classes. You’ve walked with him—in silence, no less!—to let him feel at ease with your presence. You’ve invited him to parties, asked him out on dates, you even took him out on one that ended in a kiss! Sure, it was the shortest, most innocent kiss you’ve ever experienced in your entire life, but it was also the best one because it came from him. And that meant more to you than some heated make out session any day.

That’s why it was so hard to let this go—not that it was any easier when you first met him, either. There was just something about this boy that drove you completely mad with a lovesick insanity. You couldn’t get him out of your mind, no matter how many times rejection kicked you in the ass.

It would be different if it were pure refusal. If Jungkook blatantly told you that he wanted nothing to do with you and asked you to leave him alone for the rest of his life, you would. It would suck, but you would respect his wishes. The thing was, it wasn’t. You caught glimpses of the real Jungkook, saw a spark in his eye or the hint of a beam on his lips that would squeeze your heart in the clutches of his fingers (that you so badly wanted intertwined with your own) and send it soaring among the clouds and stars above, and you knew you couldn’t let him go.

Because all Jungkook had up around his heart was a colossal, unyielding wall that was made of solid steel and reached the tops of mountains to keep out everyone around him for fear of being vulnerable. And you were going to knock it down.

Which is why you were all smiles when you greeted him outside of his art class despite him having literally fled from your presence mere hours beforehand.

“Hey,” you said, taking a small step forward. You knew he probably didn’t want to see you, which was why you self-consciously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and drew your jacket closed tighter over your torso as the night breeze rustled through the nearby trees. “How was class?”

Jungkook looked surprised to see you—though it was a vast improvement from the ‘deer in headlights’ expression you used to receive from him. “H–hey,” he spoke, instantly shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans and casting his gaze down to the sidewalk below. “Class was fine.”

You nodded and scuffed the tip of your boots against the pavement absentmindedly. “You left pretty quickly earlier today.”

At this, Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip, and if you were looking closely—which you always were—you could just make out the hint of a blush creeping up on his cheeks.

God, he was so adorable it hurt.

“Yeah, I uh, I had to get to the library,” he finally answered, and you knew it was a lie but you didn’t call him out on it. He didn’t need an excuse to leave your presence; he was free to do whatever he wanted. Though the thought of him dreading every second by your side made your heart sink in your chest.

“So uh,” you started down the sidewalk towards his dorms, knowing that if you didn’t lead the way he would just run off towards them anyways. “Do you have any plans for this Friday?”

At this, you could see his body tense up out of the corner of your eye. Was the thought of your date last weekend really that traumatizing for him?

There was a breath of silence before he spoke. “I was gonna study,” he answered, though in that moment a sound of amusement, a small, single tut fell from his lips as he quickly glanced at you with what you swore was a wry smile.

Your heart almost stopped beating entirely.

You craved for when he showed small glimpses of himself like this—when he wasn’t so uptight and worried about what to say or do and so nervous that he instinctively clammed up. Even though it was just something small, it gave you hope. And for Jungkook, you would hang onto any little sliver of hope he’d give you.

“‘Was’ being the keyword there,” you grinned, your shoulder lightly nudging his. Your stomach jumped at the brief contact, hoping that the action wouldn’t cause him to shut down again. “Have you ever been to a club?”

It was in this moment that Jungkook stopped walking—whether it was from the shoulder nudge or your question, you weren’t entirely sure. But you made sure to stop as well and rushed to fix whatever error of judgment you had just made.

“O-of course you haven’t—sorry, stupid question,” you fumbled out, feeling like a whipped, lovesick idiot for the first time in your life. “It’s just that—well, my friends are talking about going this weekend, and I... I want you to be there, with me.”

At this, Jungkook looked shell shocked, though you couldn’t imagine why. Did it really still catch him off guard when you invited him places? Haven’t you been doing that since the day you met?

“W-why?” He finally spoke as if you had just said the most outlandish thing known to mankind. “Why would you want me there?”

“Because I like spending time with you, okay?” You sighed, frustrated that he still didn’t get it. After all this time, wasn’t it easy to tell that you’re crazy about him? “I like spending time with you and I enjoy your company and the thought of doing something with you apart from walking around campus makes me happy.”

You held your breath, just bracing yourself for the rejection. This is the first time you’ve ever so blatantly poured your feelings out to him, and even then, what you said wasn’t that big of a deal, but you knew it would be to Jungkook. This boy could barely make eye contact with you up until a couple of weeks ago, much less hear that being with him made you happy.

But maybe that’s what he needed to hear. And if pouring your heart out is what it took to get through to this boy that you were actually interested in him, even after you kissed him, then god damn it, pouring your heart out was just what you were going to have to do. You were new to this, new to feeling any emotions other than pure lust and desire, but you kind of liked the feeling. So you embraced it, welcomed it with Jungkook.

You just hoped he could find it in himself to do the same.

“I...” you started again, another sigh leaving your lips once you realized he wasn’t going to respond. “I’m sorry. I just... I can’t get you out of my mind. I’ve never been able to, but especially now. Especially after that kiss.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, your stomach twisting with nerves as you brought up the elephant in the room that has yet to be addressed by either one of you. When you finally looked up at his expression, you saw that he was as white as a ghost.

“I-I gotta—“

“Jungkook, please don’t,” you winced, unable to bear him running away from you again, especially while you were being so vulnerable with him. It wasn’t a good feeling, and you were afraid of what it would do to you if he abandoned you yet again in such an emotionally charged conversation. As much as you liked to put on a strong front like your heart could handle anything, you knew deep down that it couldn’t. Because your heart was most easily hurt by him, and it was starting to wear you down whether he knew it or not.

Jungkook stopped, and you swore out of your peripheral vision you could see his figure soften when he turned back to you.

You wanted more than anything in that moment to give him a hug. God, you just wanted to... feel him. You wanted to feel him in the most innocent sense, with his arms around your waist and his chest against your face as you nuzzled into his embrace. You’ve never craved such a deep level of intimacy with anyone before, but god damn, it just hit you like a ton of bricks and suddenly you needed him. You knew it was way out of line. You knew he didn’t feel the same, would probably never want to see you in a 10-mile radius ever again. But in that moment, you just couldn’t help yourself.

So you stepped forward, opened your arms, and took a leap of faith.

And you pulled him against you for a hug.

His body was rigid against yours. It felt like you were holding a slab of concrete, hard as stone beneath your touch, but god did he feel warm and the intoxicating scent that was something so indescribably him clouded your senses, leaving you in a haze that was much stronger than any form of smoke you’ve ever inhaled. Your arms were wrapped around his middle, squeezing his body in the strongest hug your arms could manage in such a weak moment, and it was then that you surely thought you were going to faint.

Because after a few still, silent moments, you slowly felt his body start to relax against yours.

It crept over him, like the slow aftereffects of a poison, until soon his entire frame was free of any tension that had shrouded it before and he was suddenly hugging you back.

He was reciprocating the hug, he was really reciprocating it, and your heart was pounding so loudly that you were certain he could feel it against his own chest, but for once you didn’t care. Because you were finally in Jungkook’s arms, and you never wanted to leave.

•••

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Y/N always had a way of surprising him—that much was certain. There wasn’t a single moment since the day they met that Jungkook hadn’t been completely caught off guard by whatever forward statement came tumbling from those sinful lips of hers. But this? Wrapping her arms around him in a hug so tight that his body threatened to be severed in half? This was a whole new level of surprise; he actually blacked out for a couple of seconds.

Everything she said had to be a lie; it had to be, right? There was no way in hell Jungkook was on her mind as often as she was on his. Y/N had a slew of guys knocking on her door just dying to get a turn with her, and that’s how she wanted it. Y/N liked to party and get drunk and have sex. That’s all he knew about her—and yet, it wasn’t. Because somehow deep down beyond this facade that she put on around others, Jungkook remembered seeing the beautiful girl crying on the windowsill of a desolate stairwell, when she had casually mentioned that she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. Jungkook knew deep down there was something more, something more deep and raw and vulnerable than the strong, fierce person that she wanted everybody else to see. He could see it in her eyes, on the apples of her cheeks when she spoke to him. He brought it out in her.

And it was in that moment that Jungkook knew she was telling the truth.

Never in his life had he experienced a hug like this—sure, there was the occasional bear hugs he received from his family and friends—but nothing that had ever felt like this, like his head was pounding so hard that he started seeing stars and his body was erupting into flames that made it feel like the middle of summer during a cold autumn night. He felt so warm, yet so impossibly cold, like he had never felt true heat in his life until the moment he felt her body heat pressing against him. His brain was running a mile a millisecond, the gears shifting and working so hard into overdrive that it threatened to short circuit on him, but with her arms unrelentingly wrapped around him, he finally threw all caution to the wind and flipped all the switches in his tumultuous mind off. There was no way in hell he could ever reject this even if he wanted to; she had reduced him to putty in her hands, same as she always did.

And so putty he became, completely melted into her embrace like a puddle of goo on a hot summer’s day without any means of ever turning solid again, because this was the most of her he had ever felt in his life, and she felt better than he could’ve ever imagined in some silly fantasy of his. He forced away all inhibitions and wrapped his arms around her frame, his skin sizzling where it touched the fabric of the jacket covering her body, and he hugged her like his life depended on it. He squeezed her until he was out of breath and blue in the face, silently communicating every single word he’s wanted to say but his vocal chords would never allow him to speak, his chest rising and falling all the while to keep up with the pace of his erratically beating heart that clamored in time with hers against his ribcage.

He didn’t know how to describe it, but he just felt... home. Like she was his all along, and he had been too stubborn and scared to allow himself to realize it until now. He knew this wasn’t true—if there was anything he had learned about Y/N, it was that she couldn’t be tamed or tied down to one person—but in this moment, with the stars in the night sky twinkling above them and the sensation of her warm breath dancing through the fabric of the thin shirt covering his chest, he didn’t care. He allowed himself to get wrapped up in the fantasy, no matter how much he knew it would hurt him later. Because right now she was in his arms, his of all people, and nothing else mattered.

He didn’t know how long they went on like that, pressed against each other in complete silence with nothing but the wind moving around them, but he did know that he was the first to break apart; there was a student on the sidewalk who needed to pass and let out a very obvious cough as he was walking around them, which ultimately broke the reverie that Jungkook had gotten lost in that caused him to forget anything else in the world existed other than the two of them. Though when he pulled away to look down at her, he realized he wasn’t in any better of a position, because the dazed gleam in her eyes threatened to knock him right off his feet and caused him to get lost all over again.

Neither one of them said anything; for once, it seemed that the ever-charming Y/N was speechless, though Jungkook was sure it couldn’t have simply been his hug that rendered her to this state. He could see from his peripheral vision that her chest was rising and falling too, like she was just as out of breath as he was even though neither of them had partaken in any physical activity other than just standing there.

And then, just when the tension between them was so thick that it was about to explode, her cheeks flushing a constant state of pink and her gaze flickering from his eyes to his lips and his heartbeat practically bursting in his eardrums as she subtly inched closer—

“I should go,” Jungkook blurted out.

And just like that, his defense mechanisms flared up again, fear striking him to the bone and causing him to take action in the only way he knew how: running away.

It wasn’t lost on him that defeat visibly deflated throughout her body, though just when the guilt from this sight threatened to strangle him whole, she quickly regained her composure and masked her expression again.

“Yeah... okay,” she smiled softly, and he didn’t know why, but he felt like the gesture was meant to reassure him. “I’ll uh, I’ll talk to you later.”

Jungkook briefly mirrored the expression before nodding his head and turning away, his feet suddenly unable to take him away fast enough until—

“Jungkook.”

They skidded to a halt as if she had him bound by spell.

“Thank you.”

The words caught him so off guard that he actually glanced over his shoulder to gaze at her in quiet confusion. But all he was met with when he took one last look at her painfully beautiful face was a serene smile that was adorning her lips, seeming more at ease and content than he had ever seen her.

And as Jungkook took off down the sidewalk towards his dorm, he vowed that he would do anything to see that happiness on her features again, even if it ended up tearing his heart to shreds.

•••

It was only when he heard a knock at his dorm room that he realized he hadn’t answered her question.

He had been shell-shocked just from the mere mention of the club, but paired with her profession of feelings afterwards? Jungkook was pretty sure his mind had stopped working completely, which in turn made him forget all about the fleeting invitation. But now, when he opened the door and was met with a bright grin on Y/N’s face that he was sure could cure cancer, he realized she would be looking for a definite answer.

He wanted to go with her. God he wanted to go with her, so badly, because the thought of her in a crowded club with too many strangers’ hands on her body for her drunken mind to comprehend made him sick to his stomach. He wanted to be there for her, and he wished with all of his heart that he were one of those guys who could easily protect his girl.

But he wasn’t.

Because she wasn’t his girl, and even if she was, that just wasn’t the type of person Jungkook was; he wasn’t a fighter. Not to mention he was sure Y/N wasn’t the type of person to need protecting.

But he just couldn’t help but worry about her—worrying was his specialty, after all—especially now that his feelings for her had only grown. He didn’t want her to get taken advantage of, and god, if he had to sit through another sleepless night wondering what or whom she was doing, Jungkook thought he might go insane.

He didn’t want to go to the club. But there was no way he was going to ask her not to go; she was far too independent for that, and even so, Jungkook wasn’t a controlling person. He just didn’t know what to do.

“Hey,” Y/N‘s voice was light, slightly breathless when she spoke as if she was trying to hide the fact that she was slightly out of breath, and she was looking right at him like he was the entire world morphed into one. Could he be imagining the sparkle in her eye when their gazes met?

“...H-hi,” Jungkook replied, slightly confused as to why she was showing up at his dorm on a Friday night when she should surely be out with her friends.

There was a moment’s pause before she spoke again, and that’s when he noticed the bashful tinge of nerves that raised to slightly color her cheeks. Was Y/N actually... nervous around him? Again? Before their kiss she had been fearless, charming, and Jungkook thought he had this girl pegged as every negative stereotype that was associated with college party culture. But now, he was almost able to see some of his own timid and cautious behavior reflected back onto her. Did Jungkook really have that effect on her?

“Um, can I come in?” She asked after a moment, and it was all he could do to keep his heart from jumping straight out of his chest as he nibbled on his bottom lip before stepping aside to let her walk through.

The sight of her in his room looked so foreign, since this was only the third time she’s seen it and even that was three times too many, yet it also looked so right, like this was exactly where she belonged. The thought terrified him half to death; this was his safe haven, his sanctuary for crying out loud, and what does it mean if he’s willing to share it with her? But even so, he couldn’t help but think she’s the only one he’d ever want to share it with. She’s the first girl he’s ever felt... well, ever felt for in general. And her radiant presence just seemed to light up the room, giving everything he owned a certain glow that he hadn’t noticed they had before.

He didn’t know he’d been holding in his breath until he had to release it in order to speak.

“I thought you were going to the club?” He asked before raising an arm to nervously rub the back of his neck, internally praying that she wasn’t here to ask him to join.

Her eyes seemed to be fixed on something on his bicep before she snapped out of it. “I uh, I actually bailed on them. I figured you didn’t want to go, so...” it was when she trailed off that he noticed for the first time she was holding a bag, and when she held it up he saw it was filled to the brim. “I figured we could chill here instead?”

She looked hopeful, somewhat nervous of his rejection, and he couldn’t help his eyes from practically popping out of his head at the sound of her words. Had she really passed up an opportunity to party with her friends to stay in with him? Jungkook would’ve thought that Y/N was the type of girl to never stay in on a Friday night, but it would seem he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. Could it be that there was some untruthfulness to the rumors he heard?

His mouth was suddenly dry and all the breath had escaped from his lungs, so he simply nodded his head down towards the bag in question rather than attempting to speak aloud.

“Oh, this is just some junk food I figured we could pig out on if you said yes,” she let out a sheepish laugh and sat the bag down on his spotless desk so that he could see inside, and it was then that Jungkook caught a glance of almost every snack assortment known to man.

Somewhere deep inside his chest, his heart melted. Had she really gone through the trouble of buying all these snacks just to bring over to his dorm? It would seem she didn’t know what he liked, so she bought one of everything. This couldn’t be the same girl he’d heard those incriminating stories about. It couldn’t be.

There was a moment of silence before he finally spoke. “Well, we might as well eat all of this now that it’s here,” he heard himself say, and at the expression of elation on her face he couldn’t help but crack a smile.

•••

You couldn’t believe he actually agreed.

When you turned down your friends’ invitation to go to the club tonight, they looked at you like you were crazy. They were afraid you had fallen physically and mentally ill, and proceeded to check your temperature and pulse to see if your vital signs were normal. It wasn’t until after maybe the fiftieth “I’m fine guys, I swear!” that they finally believed you, but even then they were confused as hell. And it’s not like you could blame them—had you ever turned down an offer to go out dancing since you started going to this university? The answer was a hard no, and your friends knew it. Which was why they gave you a few encouraging—albeit judging—stares before you left their company and hit the gas station by yourself.

What did Jungkook like to eat? You weren’t sure, so you just grabbed a bunch of shit you knew was dangerously addicting and delicious before heading off to his dorm; thank god everything was in a close vicinity of each other on this campus, because you didn’t have Taehyung’s car to borrow for the night.

Which is how you ended up where you were now, sitting atop Jungkook’s bed with your back against the wall and a bowl of popcorn in your lap.

You felt like your body was about to burst into flames; how the hell had you gotten so lucky as to have Jungkook agree to hang out with you in his room? Not only that, but he was actually sitting next to you, an act that would’ve surely never happened had you asked him a few weeks prior. But something had changed—something between that kiss and life-altering hug you’d exchanged—that had you pinching yourself to see if you were dreaming. Jungkook had finally started to feel comfortable enough to spend more than twenty minutes in your company without shoving you out the door or making a dive for the window. You couldn’t believe the progress you were making with this breathtaking enigma of a boy.

“So what about you?” You turned to him to ask, legs crossed beneath you while his favorite anime played in the background, which you insisted on watching. “You already know about my shit storm of a plan. What do you want to do with your computer science degree?”

Somehow the topic of conversation had drifted to school—probably because that’s the only thing Jungkook seemed comfortable talking about, which was perfectly fine with you. You were happy just to get the opportunity to hold an actual conversation with him, no matter the subject... until the memory of your semi emotional breakdown in the windowsill of the stairwell had been brought up. You were quick to get the subject off of you without saying too much about it.

Jungkook nibbled on his bottom lip, seeming to contemplate your question before finally opening his mouth, then closing it again as if second-guessing himself. “I’ll more than likely do software engineering,” he said in a tone that implied he was trying to convince himself as well.

“More than likely?”

“Well...” he started then paused again, his demeanor turning surreptitious and somewhat sheepish as he eyed you. “I actually... I want to become a video game designer. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No!” You were quick to reassure him. “No, I think that’s really cool, actually. You should do it!”

“Eh, it’s just a pipe dream,” Jungkook was shaking his head and lowering his eyes again. “Who knows if I’d actually be able to do it? Besides, software engineering pays the best. It’s what my parents want me to do.”

“But is it what you want to do?” You pressed, giving him a knowing look. “It’s your life, Jungkook. You shouldn’t let fear keep you from achieving your dreams.”

You didn’t know when you had become such a motivational speaker—hell, you were terrible at giving advice. None of your friends ever came to you for it because they knew you were such a bad influence. But with Jungkook, something just made you want to be... better. You wanted to help him, because you found yourself genuinely wanting the best for him.

Jungkook, on the other hand, looked white as a ghost. You were about to change the subject, if only to make him less uncomfortable, when he suddenly spoke again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that.”

You were puzzled at first. “Done what?”

“Not let fear keep me from doing something.”

And it was then that he was looking at you, his eyes so intense and his gaze so deep, saying so much yet speaking so little, that you could feel your heart physically moving mountains within your chest. You felt the overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss him until you were out of breath and blue in the face, though somehow with extreme willpower you didn’t know you possessed you were able to hold yourself back.

“I’m the same way, you know.”

Jungkook was reeling back at your words, his eyes wide with disbelief and his brows furrowed in confusion as if you just said the most outlandish thing he’d ever heard. “What?”

“It’s true,” you nodded with a giggle, able to tell from his expression that he didn’t believe you one bit. “That day you saw me in the stairwell, I...” you paused, trying to muster the courage to say what you were about to say. You never opened up to anyone—not really, not about things that were important. But the way Jungkook was looking at you, the way he confided in you about his dreams, his fears of disappointing his parents... you wanted to show him that you trusted him, too.

“I had just had a meeting with the dean that day, and he told me that if I didn’t get my grades up I’d be expelled from the school without graduating.” You sighed, saying the news out loud making anxiety knot in your stomach because it meant it was that much more real. “I’ve already had academic warnings and been on academic probation a couple semesters, but never suspension... I don’t know where I’d go.”

It felt weird yet nice, like actually telling someone else about your inner turmoil has somehow lifted a weight off your shoulders. You didn’t have to bare the stress of your academic failure on your own. Thankfully Jungkook didn’t question your last statement, and you were glad; that was a whole different story, one that included your past and your parents, and you didn’t know if you could get into that tonight.

“They don’t know, do they?”

His question took you aback. “What?”

“Your friends.” When he saw your expression, he elaborated. “I could tell that, um... I–I could just tell you haven’t told them.”

His tone was gentle and understanding in a way that made you feel all fuzzy and warm from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. How could he have known that you hadn’t told anyone? Is it possible that your fearless facade wasn’t as strong as you thought it was? Or was he really just that perceptive?

And if that’s the case, then did that mean he paid more attention to you than you originally thought? Did he actually... care?

That thought alone was too much; you felt your heart spring into your throat and threaten to strangle your windpipes, rendering you speechless until there was no more air left to fill your lungs and you were collapsing from suffocation right then and there.

“N–no,” you somehow managed to get out, and now for the first time you were the one reduced to a stuttering mess in his presence, not him. “No, I haven’t told them. Nobody knows but... you.”

At this Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline, and it was all you could do to keeping from bursting into a lovesick grin, because the faintest hint of a rosy hued blush crept up along the apples of his cheeks and you could almost make out the way the corners of his lips turned up into a sheepish smile.

“Why?” His voice betrayed his expression, seeming almost skeptical and bewildered at this knowledge. “Why me?”

There was that damned question again, and you swear to god if Jungkook could only see himself through your eyes then he would have the ego of the Greek god Zeus. It broke your heart to see him question himself like this, question his worth in the way that you saw him, and in that moment, you mustered all the courage you possessed and did the only thing you knew would be strong enough to convince him of your answer.

You placed the popcorn down on the bed beside you, you leaned forward to take his hand, and you kissed him.

•••

It was like lightening had pierced through the sky and struck him down to his very core. Every fiber of his being was teeming with electricity; just the simple sensation of her lips gently brushing against his had his vision blinded by stars as they erupted within him and severed every synapses in his brain with their fiery white heat of burning gas.

He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think; he was rendered completely powerless beneath the weight of her gentle, barely-there kiss. And yet, at the same time, it felt like he was coming alive for the first time in his life. How could he have gone this long without her lips? How could she have let him?

It was in that moment that Jungkook knew what he wanted to do; there were no doors to escape through, and they weren’t standing outside of his dorm like their first kiss after their date, but rather sitting down on his bed with One Piece playing in the background. Any other time this would’ve distracted him, since he loved the anime to the point of practically memorizing all the words, but tonight the screen in front of him had barely even registered in his mind as all of his attention was on her. And right now was no different—everything around him had simply vanished from existence the moment her lips touched his, as if they were the only two people in the universe. And to him, they were. No one else mattered but her.

And so finally, after hours upon hours of sleepless nights fantasizing about this moment in 100 different ways, he gave into his desires. And though he didn’t have a single clue as to what he was doing, he finally leaned in and began kissing her back.

•••

You couldn’t believe your senses. You thought they were deceiving you when you felt his lips slowly, ever so carefully, begin to thaw beneath yours and lean into the kiss. Was Jungkook actually... kissing you back?

And that’s when all hell broke loose; you felt your heart open the floodgates as all the emotions youve ever felt for him came rushing out and pouring into this kiss without any means of stopping. For the first time in your entire life you felt completely weightless, like your body was floating through zero gravity and you were gazing down upon the world beneath you. You felt infinite, you felt unstoppable, you felt like you could achieve anything with Jungkook by your side. And so you took it upon yourself to slowly scoot forward so not to scare him away, carefully bringing your hand to the side of his neck and tilting your head to deepen the kiss.

You could tell this was his first kiss (besides the one after your date, of course, though that didn’t count because Jungkook didn’t reciprocate then). His actions seemed tentative and inexperienced in a completely innocent and pure kind of way that had your heart simultaneously melting and soaring within you. You felt honored—could he have actually let you be his first kiss?—and before you could help yourself, your lips were breaking out into beam so bright that it caused the kiss to momentarily break.

Jungkook pulled away slightly to stare back at you with big, blinking eyes. “W-what?”

Your heart soared again—god, why was he so fucking cute? “Nothing,” you reassured him, not wanting him to think that he did anything wrong. “I’m just—I’m really happy.”

That seemed to calm Jungkook’s nerves, because in that moment he also broke out in a small smile that had his nose scrunching slightly and his teeth peeking out from between his delicate lips that were stained red and swollen from the pressure of your kiss, and you decided that he had never looked more beautiful than he did right in this moment.

An overwhelming surge of emotion and love flooded your chest, and before you blurted out something stupid you simply leaned back in to press your lips against his again. They tasted so, so incredibly sweet—better than anything you’ve ever tasted in your life—and you quickly knew that you were going to become insufferably addicted to them.

You didn’t rush things with tongue; you wanted to take things slow, take the time to learn the curvature of his lips and the pattern of their movements against your own, and good god, you were the luckiest girl on earth.

Jungkook was slowly warming up beneath you. You could physically feel the ice melting away from his guarded heart, like flowers finally beginning to bloom in the early mornings of spring after staying dormant all those wintery months, and it was when you brought your hand up to his hair, slowly curling your fingers into each effortlessly soft strand that you heard it: the quietest, tiniest moan of pleasure that worked its way into a sigh leaving his lips.

And that’s when you felt your entire body erupt into flames.

Holy mother of fuck, how could you have deprived yourself of the single most delectable sound you’ve ever heard in your entire life? You knew he could feel the pulse of your racing heartbeat pounding against your chest right now, but you didn’t care; you were having an out of body experience. Was this how intimate embraces were supposed to feel? You didn’t know how many guys you’ve kissed in your lifetime, but never had anyone come even close to making you feel the way you felt right now. God, you were pretty sure you were about to have an orgasm out of sheer happiness.

And it was at that moment, right when both of you were getting lost in the throes of passion and the kiss began to take a more sensual, almost desperate turn, that the door suddenly burst open.

“Oh—shit, sorry man, I didn’t know you had someone over.”

Jungkook’s roommate—Trip, you believed his name was if your memory was serving you correctly—was standing in the doorway with raised brows, seemingly paralyzed with shock that he had walked in on Jungkook doing anything but studying or playing video games. And he wasn’t the only one shocked; the second the door opened Jungkook shot away from you, the tips of his ears turning beet red with widened eyes like a deer caught in headlights. And it was then that you began to wonder... were you the only person Jungkook had ever invited into his dorm?

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to read the energy in the room. Trip didn’t look like he was planning on leaving, and Jungkook obviously wasn’t going to continue things with an audience in the room, so you quickly took your cue.

“I–I should be getting out of here,” you were the first to speak, sparing Trip an apologetic smile though your gaze immediately flickered back to Jungkook, and he seemed just as breathless after that mind-blowing kiss as you were. Despite the somewhat awkwardness of the situation, you couldn’t help but grin—you were too fucking happy to keep your expression placid. “I’ll see you later, Jungkook.”

@btssmutgalore​: I. LOVE. THIS. WOMAN. Oh my god, Dee, your stories are amazing and you are a whole precious human. I love all the things you post even beyond kpop. You are such an amazing person and you deserve all the love in the world.

@jeonjagiya​: Iris, your stories and your way with words flows so smoothly. You organize everything so well i aspire to be as organized as you one day. Your stories have also opened me up to a new world and also taught me more about myself and also taught me to be true to what I like an to be confident.

@ellieljade​: Your Mr. Min story is the first adult AU I ever read. I fell in love with the characters and your story telling halfway through the first chapter and I’ve been hooked ever since. I also love interacting with you on Twitter and seeing the things you post.

@smuttyassholes​: y’all are the funniest people on this site. I love seeing your responses to the bizarre anons you get and it makes me realize how much patience you truly have being able to answer some of the stuff you answer. I feel like your reactions really capture the members personalities and that’s why I prefer your reactions over others.

@svthateblog​: ahhh the soft trio. I don’t have enough words for how much I love you three. You write some of the cutest stuff and it makes me so soft uwu but then you write the spICIEST STUFF AND I’M LIKE WOW. You’re the most precious beans and I love you all so much.

@nochutae​: your Ease story was the FIRST kpop fanfiction I ever read. EVER. So I feel very thankful and grateful for your blog and for you basically introducing me into this world of fanfiction. Ease will always be one of my top faves and I will always recommend it to readers.

@kthyunngg​: I fell head over heels in love with your Hoseok I’ll Be There story. I followed your updates almost religiously and I felt a wide range of emotions. I occasionally go back and reread it because I love it so much!

@kookingtae​: *suga yell* JORDAAAAAANN!! omg, where do I start? The Switch was the first of yours I read. And then I came across The Equation of Love and I melted. Then Falling Into You and I just want to grab your face and squish your cheeks (with permission of course) because I love you so much.