#kthyunngg

@btssmutgalore​: I. LOVE. THIS. WOMAN. Oh my god, Dee, your stories are amazing and you are a whole precious human. I love all the things you post even beyond kpop. You are such an amazing person and you deserve all the love in the world.

@jeonjagiya​: Iris, your stories and your way with words flows so smoothly. You organize everything so well i aspire to be as organized as you one day. Your stories have also opened me up to a new world and also taught me more about myself and also taught me to be true to what I like an to be confident.

@ellieljade​: Your Mr. Min story is the first adult AU I ever read. I fell in love with the characters and your story telling halfway through the first chapter and I’ve been hooked ever since. I also love interacting with you on Twitter and seeing the things you post.

@smuttyassholes​: y’all are the funniest people on this site. I love seeing your responses to the bizarre anons you get and it makes me realize how much patience you truly have being able to answer some of the stuff you answer. I feel like your reactions really capture the members personalities and that’s why I prefer your reactions over others.

@svthateblog​: ahhh the soft trio. I don’t have enough words for how much I love you three. You write some of the cutest stuff and it makes me so soft uwu but then you write the spICIEST STUFF AND I’M LIKE WOW. You’re the most precious beans and I love you all so much.

@nochutae​: your Ease story was the FIRST kpop fanfiction I ever read. EVER. So I feel very thankful and grateful for your blog and for you basically introducing me into this world of fanfiction. Ease will always be one of my top faves and I will always recommend it to readers.

@kthyunngg​: I fell head over heels in love with your Hoseok I’ll Be There story. I followed your updates almost religiously and I felt a wide range of emotions. I occasionally go back and reread it because I love it so much!

@kookingtae​: *suga yell* JORDAAAAAANN!! omg, where do I start? The Switch was the first of yours I read. And then I came across The Equation of Love and I melted. Then Falling Into You and I just want to grab your face and squish your cheeks (with permission of course) because I love you so much.

You also join the line up and wait until it’s your turn to board. Luckily for you, you managed to get into line before the enormous heap of people, making your journey to find your seat a lot easier.

“C-twenty four….twenty five….twenty seven… aha! C-thirty one!” A window seat as well, your favourite. Just as you’re about to walk into the aisle, you notice someone is already sitting in the aisle seat.

“Excuse me, can I get into my seat?” The man looks up from his spot. Oh. It’s the man who dropped his phone.

“Sorry.” He looks a little flustered and scrambles to his feet, allowing you to get into your seat.

“No worries.” The two of you settle down and after a few minutes, he jumps in his seat.

“It’s you!” The man gleefully exclaims. “Uhh…Thank you…for…my phone.” You notice his english is slightly broken, but not bad.

“No problem. Are you from this country?” You can already guess that he’s from Korea, but you don’t want to be rude so you allow him to tell you for sure.

“No, Korea. I’m flying home.” Bingo. Lucky for you, you’ve been studying Korean for a while now, only recently saving up enough money to take a vacation to South Korea. For his benefit, you switch over to speak in Korean.

“Ah really? Your english is quite good for a non-native speaker!” Your sudden change seems to have shocked the man as he looks at you with wide eyes.

“You….can speak Korea?” He hesitantly asks you in his native language.

“Yup, I’ve been studying it for almost a year and a half now. It’s not the best though.”

“It’s quite good actually! Are you visiting Korea for vacation or do you live there as well?” Two of you shift a little in your seats so you’re able to have a better conversation.

What are the odds that this man who dropped his phone would be your seat mate for ten hour long flight? You chuckle lightly at that thought and then remember that he asked you a question.

“I’m visiting for vacation. I’m staying for about a month so hopefully I can get a nice overview of what life is like in South Korea.” He nods and then his eyebrows scrunch together.

“If you don’t mind, I could give you a tour. I live in Seoul so if you’re staying near there, we can work something out. Of course, that is if you don’t mind. I understand if you’re not comfortable with having a stranger leading you around places.” Out of nervousness the man scratches the back of his neck.

You’ve been taught that you shouldn’t follow strangers around places, but from what you can see, this man looks far from dangerous. Physically he is very toned, but from his facial expression and actions, he’s just like a little teddy bear. Perfectly harmless.

“Hmmm.…I don’t know. How can I be sure that you’re not some dangerous man?” You tease him.

“Good evening. This is your captain speaking. We are about to take off so please fasten your seatbelt. You must remain seated until the light…” You zone out from the captains words and fasten your seatbelt. Your seat mate does the same.

“Don’t worry. We have a long flight ahead of us. Lots of time for me to prove that I’m not a dangerous person. I’m quite the opposite believe it or not. I’m Jungkook by the way.” He sticks out his hand and you reciprocate his actions.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you. I really hope you’re not a dangerous man. I’ll be in big trouble if you are.” You tease once again and both of you laugh.

At that moment the plane begins to accelerate and soon enough the plane is up in the air. That’s where your adventure begins. If someone came up to you at the beginning of the day and told you that your boyfriend is going to be your seat mate on your flight to South Korea, you would have with a doubt laughed in their face. Your trip to South Korea was supposed to be solely for exploration and learning purposes. You never thought that you would meet your boyfriend, let alone become friends with the person sitting next to you. On top of all that, you would have never thought that you were up to maintain a long distance relationship. You’ve heard that it’s a lot of work, and that’s exactly what you received.

~

About three hours into the plane ride, you’ve gotten to know Jungkook pretty well. He works as an assistant to one of the music producers in South Korea, pursuing his dream of becoming a well known producer himself. He has an older brother, he’s two years older than you, would love to travel the whole world one day, and he loves to sleep. You can definitely see some similarities between the two of you, but he is more outgoing than you.

‘What about you? What’s your story?” Jungkook takes a sip of the orange juice that one of the flight attendants gave and looks towards you.

“Me? Well…I’m an only child, I’m still a university student, and I also really love to sleep. Aside from my school life, I rarely go out and this vacation for me is definitely the first of my life. I’ve never left the country, let alone leaving for an entire month. I was really scared at first since my Korean is really basic, but now I’m seeing some more hope for this trip.” Something about Jungkook’s presence makes you want to constantly joke around. He makes the environment a lot more cheerful and you really appreciate that.

This entire week has been nothing but stress for you. Packing, making calls, and organizing everything. Luckily it is your summer break so you can take the time off for this trip. Your parents were worried just like you, but you managed to convince them and told them that it would be a nice learning experience for them.

“Do not worry! I, Jeon Jungkook will prove to you that I am a trustworthy tour guide. You’ll see the ins and outs of South Korea in know time. All the good food and places to go, it’s all part of the package.” He puffs out his chest and crosses his arms proudly.

Somewhere along the flight, the lights dimmed and there was a nice ambient blue light coming from overhead.

This must be their way of signalling nighttime.

You body seems to have got the message and you soon grew tired. Travelling takes a toll mentally and physically. Jungkook must also be feeling the same and soon both of you doze off into a peaceful sleep…well, as peaceful as it can get on a plane.

Time passed by a lot quicker than you expected. It felt like you just shut your eyes a while ago, but now you’re finding yourself waking up to the sound of Jungkook calling you and lightly tapping your head.

“Y/N, it’s time for breakfast.” You slowly open your eyes and take in your current surroundings.

Sure enough, it is breakfast time as you can hear the sound of the food trolleys being pushed down the aisles. You’re also rested against something extremely comfortable. Puzzled as to what that thing could be, you lift your head and look to your left. There you see a pillow fall from Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Oh my god. Was I sleeping on you the whole time? I’m so sorry!” Jungkook smiles and nods at your sudden frantic behaviour.

“It’s okay, I didn’t wake up too long ago. They’re handing out breakfast right now.” As if right on cue, the flight attendant walks over to your aisle and hands out the trays of food.

Without another word, the two of you dig into your breakfast. You finish everything, but the eggs and push them to the side of the tray.

“Do you not like eggs?” He points towards your neglected pile of eggs.

“Yeah…not the biggest fan of eggs and I’m not feeling too hungry because of the flight.”

“Ah, then you won’t mind right?” You shake your head, giving the go-ahead signal.

~

“Welcome to South Korea, the land of happiness and good food!” Jungkooks spins around in a circle at the front of the airport while you’re dragging both your luggages.

You laugh at childish actions, but you’re still enjoying the welcome.

“Thank you, thank you. It’s quite nice even though we’re still at the airport.”

“I can guarantee that you stay in South Korea will be an unforgettable one.” Little did you know, Jungkook was right.

You show Jungkook the address of your hotel so that he can meet up with you once he settles down at his place. So you go in separate ways for the time being to settle down in your respective places. While choosing your hotel, you made a good decision to not live right in the heart of Seoul. You chose somewhere in the suburb area where there aren’t as many people, but still close enough to access the entire city.

According to Jungkook, your hotel isn’t too far from his apartment either so you quickly change your clothes into something more presentable than the average airport attire and then head to the lobby to wait for him. In the first hour of your trip you’ve been quite impressed with the overall environment. Everything seems so clean compared to your hometown and the people are also quite polite.

“Hey Y/N!” You hear your name echo across the lobby and sure enough, Jungkook struts in with his backpack, waving at you.

“Hey Jungkook.” You walk over towards him and give him a smile.

“Ready to be wowed by this country?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. I hope your tourist guide skills live up to your words.” Starting from this moment, your life is about to change. You had no idea what you were signing yourself up for. All you wanted was a nice vacation, some time off from your regular life.

A month passed by a lot quicker than you expected. True to his words, Jungkook was an amazing tour guide; too good if you dare say. He taught you the ins and outs of everything you needed to know when staying in Korea. He brought you to his favourite restaurants and didn’t miss out on all the tourist locations. One day turned to three, three turned into a week, and sooner enough it’s already your last full day in Korea. It’s bittersweet and you’re trying to think positive, but after having the time of your life, you didn’t want to leave.

“Are you ready for the final stretch of your trip?” Jungkook says cheerfully while he swings your arms up and down.

This has become a habit for the two of you. Since there can be quite a few people walking down the streets of Seoul, it’s hard to keep up with Jungkook so he took it upon himself to literally guide you. At first it just started off as a way to make sure that you won’t get lost in the crowd, but soon enough it became second nature for him to just grab your hand when walking anywhere. You didn’t mind though. His hand is quite bigger than yours, and it was awkward to get a comfortable position, but in no time it felt normal.

“I don’t know Jungkook. So far you’ve been pretty good at surprising me, but I don’t know how you’re gonna top last week with the beach and amusement park.”

“I figured you liked the beach so today, I, Jeon Jungkook, will take you to the land of the sea, my hometown, Busan. Be prepared to be hit by the fresh salt ocean, the breeze in your hair, and the smell of home cooked food.” Perhaps Jungkook is enjoying this more than you are as he announces the different sights to see in Busan.

“Alright tour guide, lead the way!”

“To Busan!” Jungkook points his finger forward and marches confidently down the street towards the train station with you in his hand.

It’s quite early in the morning so there aren’t many people at the station. This works out great for the both of you as you easily buy tickets for the trip and within a few minutes of waiting on the platform, a train arrives. The trip itself was not too interesting as you took a nap, but when the train arrives to your destination, you notice that the sun is in mid-sky, giving a soft highlight to everything it touches.

“Y/N, welcome to Busan!” Jungkook says with a smile and leads you off the train.

Hand in hand, Jungkook leads you out of the train station and you properly start your day in Busan. You can already tell that the atmosphere of Busan is a lot different from Seoul. Busan is definitely more laid back and easy going compared to the metropolitan lifestyles of Seoul. Everything is constantly buzzing back there, but here you feel like you can properly take a breathe of fresh air without anyone bothering you.

“So, Mr. Jeon tourist guide. Where are we headed first?” If Jungkook had not stopped walking and you pulled along with him, you would have completely forgotten that he was holding your hand.

“Well, I thought that we would get some breakfast and then head to the beach. Afterward I was planning to take you to some parks to walk around and maybe do a little last minute shopping before you leave tomorrow.” Tomorrow. The way he says it makes the day seem so far away, but you know it’s going to come quicker than you can possibly prepare yourself for.

“Sounds good! Lead the way!” You give your best attempt to hide away your sadness to your soon departure of this city and Jungkook seems to get the message.

Just like he said, Jungkook brought you all around Busan. With a slight change of plan, you went shopping right after eating since there was a little area to do so where you guys had breakfast. You bought a few accessories, nothing too big so you didn’t have to carry around obnoxious bags the whole day.

“Hey Y/N, these are pretty nice!” Jungkook calls you over to the other end of the store. He holds up two bracelets made of wooden beads. There are a few intricate designs on the beads, but not too much to take away from its simplicity.

“Oh they’re pretty. You should get it!” Your attention for the bracelets is stolen away as you notice a little photo booth in the corner of the store. You head in its direction as Jungkook goes to pay for his bracelet.

“Do you want to go in?” Jungkook approaches you just as he’s stuffing a small plastic bag into his backpack. You nod as you open the curtain to the photo booth.

You look at your options and decide to opt for two five panel strips. The booth itself is quite small, but Jungkook somehow manages to fit himself into it. The first photo that’s taken is a nice one, but then Jungkook tickles your side and you scream just as the second flash comes up. Appropriately, the next couple of photos are funny faces.

The countdown to the last photo appears up on the screen and you’re contemplating what face you should make. As you look up at the screen, Jungkook makes a straight line to your cheek and kisses it, just in time for the last photo.

Without saying anything, Jungkook steps out of the booth to retrieve the printed photos.

“Here you go,” He hands both strips to you. “Let’s go!”

Once again he takes his hand in yours to guide you to your next location, but this time it feels different. The spot where Jungkook pecked is burning compared to the rest of your face. You want to touch that spot, but you’re afraid that once you do, the feeling will go away. His hands also feel different. They feel exceptionally warmer and they seem to be holding onto you a little bit tighter. To top it all off, there’s a slight tingling sensation traveling up your arm. You’ve never felt all this before, so why now? Why on the last day?

The entire bus ride to the beach was fairly quiet; on the outside that is. Your mind is scrambling with thoughts. ”Jungkook probably kissed me on the cheek platonically,” you think to yourself. You’re probably overthinking this, but the longer the quiet lasts, the louder your thoughts get. While Jungkook taps his feet against the floor of the bus, your palms grow sweaty and you try to dry them by wiping them against your shorts.

“We’re here.” Jungkook whispers to you, but he gets a little too close to your face and he breath sends shivers down your spine.

“O-okay.” You mentally slap yourself for stuttering and try your best to clear your mind before getting off the bus.

Your efforts do not go to waste as the moment you step off the bus, the fresh smell of the ocean fills your nose. Excitement takes over and you, for the first time without realizing, grab Jungkook’s hand and run towards the beach together.

“Y/N slow down! The ocean won’t go anywhere you know?” Jungkook yells while laughing, but you can barely hear him as the wind roars against your ears.

The sight is absolutely beautiful. The ocean is shimmering as the sun reflects off of. The waves crash against a few rocks on the shore, making an extravagant abstract picture. Seagulls and other birds dance in circles over the ocean as they sing songs to each other. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“It’s beautiful.” You say delightfully. Jungkook nods and proceeds to take off his shoes. You follow his actions and place your belongings on the warm sand.

“Shall we?” Jungkook motions towards the water. You didn’t bring a change of clothes, but considering that it is your last day, you decide to take the risk.

“Let’s go.” You nod and you’re about to run towards the ocean, but Jungkook has his own devious plan and carries you across his shoulder.

The sudden change of position makes you shriek and you can only see the sand.

“Jungkook! Don’t you dare drop me in the water!” You shout in fear as you see the sand darken due to the water. The water gets deeper, but Jungkook doesn’t stop. “Jungkook!!” You start to slap his back and after awhile he stops, but he doesn’t let you down.

“I promise I’ll keep you safe Y/N.” You can picture his mischievous smile as he says that.

“Jungkook I swear to Go— AH!” At that moment Jungkook starts spinning you and droplets of the salty water hits you in the face “Let me down!” That was your first mistake.

Jungkook listens to your request and lets you down, but you didn’t realize how deep in the ocean you actually were. Lucky for you, you’re wearing shorts, but the sudden coldness of the water catches you off guard and you lose balance in your steps. You manage to regain balance, but in doing so, you ungraceful steps cause you to push over Jungkook, sending his straight in the water, fully soaked.

“AHHHH Y/N!” He screams out in rage and you begin to run in fear of his wrath.

The rest of the day continues like that as the two of you enjoy what the ocean has to offer. Slowly but surely, the sun begins to set and the sky takes on a new shade of a warm orange. As if that isn’t a big enough sign that the day is finally coming to and end, your fatigue takes over.

The formerly soaked from head to toe Jungkook has now dried off and he too notices your tiredness.

“Did today live up to your expectations?” The two of your lying down on the sand, enjoying the colour changes of the sky.

“Everything and beyond. Busan is amazing.” The clouds are moving slowly as the night wind begins to pick up.

“It really is. I’m lucky to have grown up in this city.” Your shoulders are practically touching as you’re lying down.

“After today I don’t want to leave anymore…there’s still so much to see.” There’s a hint of sadness in your voice that you don’t bother hiding anymore.

It seems that you’re not the only one who’s expressing sadness as Jungkook doesn’t speak. For a while he just lays there and then he gets up.

“I want to give you something.” He rummages through his bag and you sit up as well. “Here.” He takes out the bracelet that he bought in the store earlier. He takes your arm and puts on the bracelet, adjusting it so it fits.

“Isn’t this yours? I thought you only bought one.” You look at the bracelet that is now on your wrist. Somehow it embodies the essence of Busan nicely.

“I bought two. One for each of us. I didn’t know what else to get you so I just went with the flow since it’s your last day…Do you like it?”

“Of course I do! Like I said before, it’s beautiful!” You admire the bracelet and Jungkook puts on his own.

Couple bracelets they would call it, but you two aren’t exactly a couple.

“You could stay in Korea….” Jungkook says softly.

“I can’t. I have to go back to school.” You’ve been tempted to stay, transfer to an international school perhaps, but you know that’s not the right choice.

“I—” He’s about to say something, but immediately cuts himself off. The sound of the waves grows softer as the evening slowly turns into night. “Let’s go, it’s getting late.”

Bittersweet.

That’s how the rest of the night passes by. Jungkook brings you to one of his favourite Busan restaurants for dinner and then you’re headed back on the train to Seoul. The ride is quiet, but not like the morning one where you were all tired. During the time of the entire ride, Jungkook doesn’t let go of your hand; you don’t try to stop him. You’re also trying to enjoy what’s left of the night, but both of you know that the end is inevitable and dangerously close.

Jungkook takes you back to the hotel, but the two of you are reluctant to part ways. You take it upon yourself speak first.

“I had a really great time Jungkook and I’m glad we met on the plane. Without you, I don’t think I would have experienced Korea the way I did this past month. It was really amazing.” Unexpectedly, tears form in your eyes, and you blink quickly to try them up. Jungkook still remains quiet.

“Well…I guess this is goodnight..and goodbye.” You hesitate at first, but gather enough courage to kiss him on the cheek. Jungkook is still quiet. You give him a sad smile as you pull away and head towards the elevators.

In that moment, you feel a tug on your arm and you’re immediately spun around. It happens so fast that you’re not able to register what’s happening. You feel strong arms pulling you into a huge, but then gentle touches against your face along with a warm touch against your lips.

You open your eyes to see what’s happening and you’re only able to see Jungkook’s face, millimetres away from your own.

He’s kissing you. The tears that you held in the entire day and now spilling out. You close your eyes and savour the moment, but you also curse at him and yourself.

“You’re absolutely crazy for wanting to do this.” You’re currently looking for job openings that you can apply for while Yoongi sits across from you.

“I’m not. I’ve told you so many times that I wanted to move to Korea.”

“You’re willing to leave everything here? Where are you going to live when you get there? What if you can’t find a job?”

“I already talked to Jungkook about this and he’s on board with my decision. He says that I can live at his place until I make enough to afford somewhere to live.” This was definitely not a spontaneous decision. It took months of planning and deciding. Of course there are things that you love about where you’ve living now, but Korea gave you a different feeling. You absolutely fell in love with that country when you visited last summer.

“When do you plan on going there?” Yoongi doesn’t seem like he’s completely fond of your decision, but you know that after a while he will open up to it.

“Well…. I want to work for a few more months here just to get that extra bit of money and then I should be on my way. Four months max.” You continue to make notes on several jobs that aren’t too labor intensive,  but still peaks your interest.

“I guess there’s no stopping you now if you have everything planned out…As long as you’re happy and not going to get killed in the process, I guess it should be fine.” Yoongi lets out a sigh of defeat and you can’t help the smile that has let loose on your face.

You’re quite grateful for his support, but it’s almost second nature to joke around with Yoongi. “I knew you would come around.”

“Are you excited? There’s only a few more weeks left…” It’s another one of your late night Skype calls. Jungkook looks more tired than ever. His eye bags are extremely deep, his hair is messy, and you can see the stubble that’s forming around his chin.

“Extremely. I can’t believe this is finally happening. I’ve been talking to a few people and they said that if I’m up to it, I can start working the week after I arrive to Korea. With the extra money that I earned from these last few months, I should be able to afford a place of my own in no time!”

He yawns before replying, “That sounds great…I’ve missed you so much Y/N.”

“I missed you too, but the wait is soon going to be over!” With Yoongi’s help, you’ve already started packing your stuff; giving away anything you don’t need and keeping only the necessities.  

“I still can’t believe you’re moving to Korea. We talked about it for months, but it still hasn’t sunk in yet.” Out of the corner of your screen, you notice a few beer cans. You don’t think much of it since Jungkook does work through the night. You wouldn’t be surprised if he had a drink or two with his fellow producers.

“I can’t believe it either, but I’m so ready for a change… and to see you again. Has it been a year yet?” You look at your calendar.

“I think it has been, but it feels like so much more.” You nod, agreeing with Jungkook.

Just then, you hear a ding go off on Jungkook’s side. He immediately looks down at his phone and then back to you. “Listen, I wish we could talk some more, but I have to get back to work really soon so I’m going to try to get some rest. You should sleep too. I bet you still have a lot of work to do.”

“Of course, you should get some rest. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah…talk to you later.” You end the call and then get some rest for what’s left of the night.

“Is it really today? The day where you leave me in this boring country?” You’re currently unloading your suitcases from the back of Yoongi’s car while he’s busy sulking his life away.

“We’re here at the airport aren’t we?” You finishing unloading your things and hand on suitcase to Yoongi so he can be helpful.

“Ughhh, time passes by so quickly. Who am I going to complain to when I hear some really bad music? Or when someone tries to test me and my abilities?”

Yoongi is a phenomenal friend, no doubt and he’s also a phenomenal photographer, but apparently people don’t know that from his portfolio. Since he is working as a full-time photographer with this company, he comes across a fair share of clients. Some clients act as if they know more than him, the photographer, and it infuriates him to the core. Secretly his rants make you laugh a lot, but you also feel bad because you’ve come across a few people like that in your years of working.

“You can still do that, but it might just take longer for me to respond.” Yoongi can only glare at your response.

“You’re terrible, you know that? You better enjoy your new life in Korea.”

“Don’t worry I will.” You enter the airport and you head over to the counter where you sign in. “Hold on, I’m going to go check in.” You hand him your backpack and take your suitcases over to the check-in counter.

You hand the lady your passport and other flight information and she types away at the computer. She then takes you bags, tags them, and then takes them so they can be packed away in the plane.

“Here you go ma’am. Enjoy your flight!” She gives you a bright smile and hands your passport back.

You smile back to her and take you passport, “Thank you, have a nice day!” You walk back to where Yoongi is waiting and you notice that he’s on his phone.

“All checked in?” He notices you walking towards him and he puts away his phone.

“Yup! I still have some spare time before I have to head towards the gates. Do you want to eat some lunch?”

“Is that even a question? This is probably going to be the last time I get to eat with you in a long time.” You can’t help but smile at Yoongi yet at the same time you’re starting to feel the wave of sadness.

It’s finally happening.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking…” You tune out to the monotonous voice of the captain.

The day has finally come. You’re on your way to start a new like in Korea and you’re more than excited. You’re ready to see Jungkook again. You’re ready to live in a new environment. You’re ready.

Two years.

It has been exactly two full years since you said the harsh words,

“I want to end this.”

At that time it felt like the right thing, but it didn’t take you long to realize that in fact they weren’t. You were angry, distressed, ultimately your emotions were not intact. What could have been five years of being together ended up being 24 hours of fighting, crying, and hatred. You ended up becoming the villain to your own fairytale.

Jin, your longterm boyfriend was the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you. He was caring, patient, so kind, funny, but serious when he needed to be.

Perfect

That’s the only word that you can use to describe him. You swore to yourself that no matter how bad things got, you would never let him go. He was your rock. Was.

What about now?

Two years did not pass by with ease. In fact, it was anything but easy. The first month after you ended everything was the hardest. You would go home expecting to hear the sound of the tv turned on in the background while Jin prepares dinner, but all you got was the empty echos of your footsteps and creaking of the floor. You wanted so desperately to call him, to just talk to him, but the stubborn side of you prevented that. There was no way you would eat your words, never.

I passed by the beach today. Since it’s summer, there are a lot more people compared to when we go during spring and the fall just for those walks. The kids were running around with bright smiles on their face while their mothers would chase them to wipe their ice cream stains. They’re so cute...Remember when we said we wanted a big family? Three kids, two sons and one daughter? I still do...I wonder what it’s like to fill up a dining table with dishes, fill the living room with cheerful laughter, bright smiles, and just pointless banter...I wonder…

Save to Drafts

You’re oh too familiar with the sequence of typing long paragraphs and proceeding to press the blue button. One email became two, and two became ten. Soon enough, writing these emails became second nature to you, but not once would you ever send them. In a way, they’re your way of coping with everything. Somewhere along the way, you’ve accepted the fact that you won’t ever see Jin again. You’ve accepted the fact that you broke his heart and you can only blame yourself. You’ve accepted all of this. Admittedly, there are lingering feelings, but they aren’t the regular feeling of love. A part of you genuinely feels lost, but you know that no matter how hard you look, you will never be able to find you.

It’s like nostalgia. Nostalgic for the way things were, for the times you had, the laughter you shared, and for the feeling you had knowing that no matter what happened, Jin would always be there for you. You’re trying to be a strong person, you know you don’t need someone to make you feel loved, but Jin wasn’t just someone. He was your family; the only one who didn’t leave you…

Do you remember how we used to make up stories of our future for fun? I would make one for you and you for me. I wonder if any of the stuff I said has actually come true for you. Are you travelling the world with your soulmate? Are you living in a huge house with five dogs? Are you taking the subway to go to work in a sharp suit? Are you...happy?

Now you go about your day, going to work, coming home, and repeating that schedule. You always try to pack your schedule to the very brim so you don’t have to worry about anything else, but your friends always try to take you out. Of course there are days where you’re absolutely not in the mood for anything and no one can change that. Your friend Yuri is constantly trying to take you places. Parties, get togethers, casual trips to the mall, wherever it is, she’s taking you. You appreciate the fact that she even takes the time to bother with you so you hardly ever refuse her invitations.

About a year ago, Yuri’s boyfriend asked her to marry him and your outings together have become less frequent. It’s understandable  considering the amount of work that needs to be done for a wedding; sending invitations, getting the venue, finding a dress, and organizing everything in general takes a lot of time. However, the wait is over. After months and months of planning and stressing, Yuri is finally getting married. Tonight is the last night for her as an unmarried woman and all of her friends including you are out for her bachelorette party.

The music is loud, people are dancing, and drinks are disappearing as quick as they arrive. You don't drink very often, but perhaps it's the atmosphere or the fact that Yuri and a few other friends keep playing drinking games and ordering rounds after rounds. About an hour into the party, you can already feel yourself getting a little bit tipsy. The music only gets louder while your feet become lighter. The more you drink, the more freely your body moves and honestly, it feels great.

It has been so long that you've been able to let loose like this. You tried to refrain from drinking too much or else your euphoria will end up feeling like hell instead. Key word though, tried. Soon enough, everybody attending the party has migrated to the dancefloor and all of you are having fun. However, all good things must come to an end. Yuri, who stayed the most sober for the night had to end the celebration since the big day is tomorrow. All of you understood and send her some more congratulatory wishes.

One by one, the party disperses. You too are able to hail a cab successfully and head  home. As soon as you arrive home, you're hit with a wave of emotions. Yuri and her boyfriend of five years are going to get married. You and Jin were together for six years. You know it's not right, but you can't help but wonder where you and Jin would be today if you didn't break up. Would you have been married to him? Would you have started a family by now? Or would you still be dating and enjoying life as it is? There are so many questions you want to ask, but you know you will never get an answer. Subconsciously, you take out your phone and start typing.

Your eyes shoot wide open and the bright lights disorient you for a moment. Once you regain your vision, you look around in search for the owner of the voice.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

It’s as if your mind is playing tricks on you. That voice, the voice. You’ve heard that voice so many times in your dreams. The difference now is that his voice is a thousand times clearer and ringing loudly in your ears. In your dreams, his voice always seemed distant as if you were always standing 5 feet away from him.

Your voice is weak and you barely manage to push yourself up in a sitting position, “N-Namjoon?”

“It’s okay baby, I’m here now.” To confirm all your doubt, you feel the warmth from his body spread across your own as he pulls you into a a hug.

There are so many questions you want to ask, so many things you want to say to him, but you can’t. All you can do is cry. Cry into his chest, leaving his dark shit stained with tears, but Namjoon never pulls away.

“I’m sorry.” He repeats over and over again in a hushed voice as he strokes the back of your head.

A part of you is still in doubt of the situation.

How is it possible that Namjoon is real?

How did you forget such a huge part of your life?

“Y/N,” Namjoon brings you out of your trance. He places his hands on your shoulders and pulls you away just enough so he can look at you. “I know it’s wrong of me to just show up out of nowhere, but I’m here now. You’re safe and I’m never leaving you again.”

You try your best to understand his words, but even as he’s sitting right in front of you in your very own room, you’re still in total disbelief.

“Where have you been all this time?” Of all the questions you wanted to ask, this is the only one that manages to make it out of your mouth.

Namjoon doesn’t answer for a while. There’s a look of disappointment and anger in his eyes. His eyebrows furrow together as he seems to be fighting against himself.

“I’ve been trying to escape.”

“From who?”

“The ones that did this to us. The ones that made me take away your memories.”

“You took away my—”

“Y/N, it’s a lot to take in right now. It’s getting late too so how about I explain all this to you in the morning when you’re well rested.” A part of you doesn’t want to sleep; afraid that when you wake up Namjoon won’t be here. Afraid that all this is another one of your sick dreams.

You reach your hand out and gingerly place it against Namjoon’s face. “But what if you leave in the morning. What if I have to spend more years in the dark, clueless about everything?”

His skin burns against yours. Tingling sensations travel from your fingertips down to your gut. Your touches are cautious as you’re afraid that any kind of pressure will break him. He’s real. He’s no longer a mysterious man that keeps appearing in your dreams. You guide your hands to trace he outline of his face, stopping along his jawline.

Without saying anything, Namjoon places his hand on top of yours.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You’re still reluctant, but you know that he means best. You nod and Namjoon gives you a smile. He moves your blankets away so that you can lie down on your bed. A part of you wants him to join you, to hold your waist as you fall into a slumber, but the other part of you is scared. For months, you lived without knowing of his existence. You thought your mind was just playing a sick joke on you for not finding a boyfriend. Namjoon must have noticed your uneasiness as he gets off the bed and sits on the floor right next to you, not once letting go of your hands.

“Sleep Y/N. Everything is going to be alright.”

“You know this is impossible! It’s never going to work! They will never allow it!”

“I’ll make them accept us. I can’t just leave, I made a promise to her!”

“What’s so important about one stupid promise?! Your brothers and sisters are waiting for you so quit playing around down here!”

“I can’t. The promise, it’s more than you will ever understand. I need her.”

“You’re being foolish. Who’s going to lead to clan? You know that you’re the only one he trusts you. Do you really want your father to hand the scrolls over to him.”

“Of course I don’t, but there has to be a way!”

“It’s one or the other Namjoon, and seeing that you’re not going to make the right decision, I’ll do it for you.”

“Don’t you dare touch her Yoongi! Just give me more time, I can make things work!”

“It’s too late for that now Namjoon. The solstice is coming. We’re not going to sit around to wait for you any longer.”

“Uggghh.”

Every part of your body is sore. Your mind is screaming at you and pounding against your skull. Your eyelids feel heavy, but you know you slept for a long time seeing that the sun is violently shining through the crack between the curtains. The memories of last night come flooding into your mind. You were trying to find all five gifts in hopes of figuring out the mystery that has been bothering you for months. Luckily for you, the gifts were found.

Namjoon.

That’s right. He appeared in front of you. His physical being stood before you last night. Everything is still a blurred line for you. You thought that if you figured out who Namjoon is, everything would make sense, but having him appear in real life has done nothing but add more questions.

As you look towards the side of your bed, your biggest nightmare becomes a reality.

He’s gone.

You knew it. This was too good to be true. There’s no way that Namjoon is real. He’s just an imaginary person that your mind made up. You let out a heavy sigh and slowly sit up, wincing in pain as your sudden actions trigger your headache even more. As you’re trying to recover from the immense pain coming from your head, you feel the bed dip to the side. Then, a warm touch is felt against your back.

“Here, this should help with the headache.” His deep voice resonates in your ears once again.

For a moment you keep your eyes shut, in fear that you’re imagining this once again. His touch, his voice, his warmth, everything. You brace yourself incase all of this is just an illusion.

One

Two

Three

Your eyes fly open and you let out the breath that you were holding.

There he is. Sitting right next to you, one hand against your back and another holding out a pill to help with your headache. A tear falls without you being aware of it.

Namjoon notices the tear stain against your pants and starts to panic. He drops to his knees so he’s kneeling in front of you on the floor, hands holding you cheeks. “Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?” He sets the pill down next to the glass of water that he placed on the table and lifts up your head.

You shake your head to tell him everything is fine. “It’s just…You’re real. You’re really here with me. I thought I must have been dreaming. Everything that has happened…everything was just a dream.”

Namjoon frowns while he wipes away the rest of your tears that are falling.

“No Y/N….baby, it’s not like that. I’m here now.” He pulls you into a hug and you continue to sob into his chest.  

Once you calm down from this moment, you pull away.

“Here, take this first or else your headache will get even worse.” You were so caught in the moment that you completely forgot about the throbbing pain in your head. Listening to his word, you take your medicine and chase it with water.

“How did you know that I had a headache?” You ask Namjoon once you get the pill down.

He chuckles while taking the glass and placing it on the table.

“I remember that you’re really prone to headaches; especially after any stressful event. I assumed that these last few hours must have been extremely hard on you so I was just taking precautions.”

It’s not fair, you think to yourself. Namjoon seems to remember that has happened between the two of you, but you’re still in the dark trying to figure things out on your own. Part of you is angry that you lost your memories, but you’re mainly sad because you don’t get to experience the same emotions that he’s feeling.

“Namjoon?” It still feels strange to say his name and actually have someone respond to it.

“Yes?” He places his hand on your thigh, but not in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

“What happened?”

“I guess you still haven’t regained all your memories…” His voice is hushed as he seems to struggle to look for the appropriate response to your question. “How much do you know?” Namjoon seems to be a lot more guarded now.

“We…we had some sort of relationship…you proposed to me on our five year anniversary, but I can’t remember anything before that day. I’ve lost five years of memories…There was a picture…” No. You said that the notion of him being an angel can’t be possible. But how did he get here in the first place?

Instead of finishing your sentence, you walk towards your desk where you placed everything and find the picture that you’re talking about.

“This picture.” You show Namjoon the picture and he inhales sharply. You’re almost definite that he notices what you’re trying to hint at.

The glint of light that’s above his head.

It’s extremely faint, but given the lack of light in the photo, it’s almost impossible to miss.

“Y/N…What are you thinking?” He takes more caution in his words now.

“To be honest, I don’t know what to think. For months I’ve been having dreams about you. I thought everything was fake until I started to remember the gifts and then this photo shows up. This photo. You have a halo above your head! Only angels have halos, but that doesn’t seem right. There’s no way you can be an an….gel….” Your words falter as the sight in front of you unfolds. Literally.

You rub your eyes furiously as you’re in disbelief of what’s happening.

Namjoon is standing right in front of you. The picture is now set on the bedside, but there’s no need for the picture anymore.

“Y/N…you’re not wrong.” Wings. Namjoon has wings.

“Y-you’re an ang—”

“Angel. Of sorts yes.”

“H-how?” Now it’s your turn to stand up. Your eyes are locked on the two structures protruding from Namjoon’s back. As you look at Namjoon, he gives you a nod to allow you to touch them. At first you’re hesitant, afraid you might hurt him, but you manage to place you hands on them.

The white structures are hard where you believe the bones are and soft in between. What catches you off guard is the colour. Every form of media has always portrayed angel wings as a pure white colour, but Namjoon’s aren’t. From afar they definitely look white, but up close you realize that what you thought were shadows are actually brown and grey feathers.

“What…Why?” Your hand stays on the greying sections of his wings.

Before answering, Namjoon licks his lips and lets out a sigh.