#blabvory

“I can't believe you've done this!”

“Don’t you dare say that when you were loving it 15 minutes ago!”

You glare at your butt-naked fiancé, who is pacing at the end of the bed, and is officially redder in the face than a well-cooked lobster. For emphasis, you wildly gesture to the ridiculous array of blown-up condoms that dangle in bunches from the ceiling by coloured streamers, yelling, “All of these condoms, Seokjin! At least 50 fucking condoms, and you didn’t think to save a single one for us to actually use while we bang?!”

Seokjin suddenly stops as though he has collided with an invisible wall, whirling on his heel. “Hey. Hey! I was thinking about you, okay! I wanted to make you laugh, and I did. You found this fucking hilarious and weirdly romantic!” he protests, crossing his arms. His boner is still raging, pointing directly at your nose, because of course your angry bitch face, paired with your similarly exposed body, is a means for his dick to remain standing.

“Of course I did, because I fucking love you, you idiot!” you hiss, getting up on your knees so that your eyes are almost level with his own, rather than his erect cock. “But what’s the point of turning our bedroom into a condom-themed sex parlour for Valentine’s Day when we don’t even have a spare condom to do the sex with, huh?!”

Seokjin opens his mouth, though slowly closes it, thinking better of arguing your very valid point. His narrowed eyes linger on your own fiery stare for a moment, and then, they begin to flit around the bedroom. Inspecting the bunches of condom-made balloons, searching for one that is potentially small enough to be untied, released of its air, and rolled onto his dick. But before you can sigh and tell him that you will just risk his mediocre pull-out game, which has diminished rather than improved since your university days, Seokjin is exhaling loudly through his nose and exiting the bedroom.

You gape, confused. Inwardly praying that he has remembered some stray, possibly expired condom in his wallet. “And where do you think you’re going?”

Fic Rec: Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook

→ Kim Seokjin / Reader | Series | Mob AU | Angst / Smut / Fluff

→ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.

Fic Rec: Only You by @sweetbunnykook

→ Jeon Jeongguk / Reader | Series | Photographer AU | Angst / Smut / Fluff

“That’s you singing?! Are you sure you’re a siren?!”

The expression on the pirate’s face is not one that you think is… correct. In fact, you would say it is the complete opposite of correct. There is no lovesick glaze about his black coffee eyes. His soft-looking, human mouth does not hang open in awe. He does not near the water’s edge like diaphanous strings are looped around his limbs, luring him closer until you can get your webbed hands around his ankles and yank him in.

If anything, he looks and sounds extremely pissed. Like you have disturbed him while he was in the middle of something very important. You could not even begin to imagine what would be considered very important to a pirate. But what matters is that his lips are pulled up into a displeased, triangle-like pout, and he has a magnificent, glimmering sword drawn in a steady, tan fist.

The silver tip, of which, is pointed right at you.

“S-So you haven’t come to me because you’re…” you trail off, digging your claws into the wet rock that your elbows are propped atop of, tail swishing nervously beneath the sea’s surface. “It isn’t because you’re seduced–”

“Wha– No! God, no! I was coming to tell you to shut up because you’re making my goddamn ears bleed,” the pirate huffs, glaring at you through a mess of chocolate-coloured curls that hang low over his eyes. “Honestly. You need some vocal lessons. Can sirens get vocal lessons? You sound like metal grating on metal.”

“Ugh, not again!” you groan, elbows collapsing beneath you so that you slide almost completely back into the water. Though before you consider swimming away in a humiliated rush, you shift your eyes back to the pirate, batting your lashes with the coyest smile you can muster. “Hey, what are the chances of you coming in here so I can show you off to my parents and prove to them that I can catch a human? I swear I won’t drown you or eat your heart–”

❝ We Were Made Out of Stars ❞

↪︎ Reincarnation / Gods AU ∙ Angst

Kim Namjoon has been alive for centuries, though he is no immortal. With every new lifetime he experiences, his soul erodes, little by little. Though that is not the part that has him feeling weak at the knees and on the verge of tears. No. It is the fact that she reincarnates with him, and no matter how desperately he tries to avoid her, she stumbles upon him and the strings of their souls inexplicably intertwine every single time.

And, every single time, Namjoon has to watch her die.

But now, the tables have turned. Namjoon knows this is his final lifetime. He can feel it in the marrow of his ancient bones. And that can only mean one thing: this time, she will live. This is their punishment, he knows. But that will not stop him from selfishly making the most of every second he has left.

“You… you remind me of somebody,” she says, lacing her hands on her lap. Namjoon stares at the way she swings her legs like a child off the edge of the park bench. He remembers the thousands of times she has done it—even though they only met last week, in this lifetime—before he shifts his eyes to the tulips shaking their colourful heads on the opposite side of the path. “But I don’t know who, that’s the thing.”

Namjoon decides he will fuck with the laws. He is dying, anyway. He may as well risk it. “Maybe we met in a past life.”

Because it be like that sometimes.

“We haven’t done anything scandalous on the ice rink,” she assures, shuddering a little at the thought. “And it was sweet! Yoongi was surprisingly soft and gentle. It’s a bit embarrassing to discuss, but he really made sure I was comfortable, and I swear he didn’t leave an inch of my skin un-kissed. It’s hard to make-out while having sex, though Yoongi somehow managed to spend most of the experience kissing me. It was special and cute.”

“Yet,” Yoongi pitches in from behind her. She swivels in her chair to frown at him.

“What?”

“We haven’t done anything scandalous on the ice rink yet.”

“Oh my god, Yoongi. Please, for the sake of my sanity and your inevitable disappointment, let that fantasy die.”

❝ Chameleons ❞

↪︎ High School AU ∙ Fluff / Humour / Light Angst

Yoongi has blending into his environments down to an art. Some would say he is taking his introverted-ness to an unnecessary extreme—he prefers to call it a very necessary survival instinct. Here is the thing: to Yoongi, high school is merely a stepping stone of his youth that he wishes to pass as efficiently as possible, and that means making no ties or any massive statements that will have people remembering his presence. Because as soon as he has graduated, he will be taking the first flight out of this dreary town and starting anew in some faraway city.

Well, he thinks all of this until he discovers the smartest girl of his grade sitting down beside him at lunchtime. And considering he eats his bland peanut-butter-and-jam sandwich in the shadows of the oaks at the far-end of the oval, rather than in the cafeteria, Yoongi steadily realises that perhaps he had not made himself as invisible as he once thought.

“Why don’t you have any friends?” she asks, piercing the foil skin of her juice box with a straw.

Yoongi is still staring at her like he has not interacted with a human outside of his family or his boss at the deli for more than five years. Which is, actually, not very far from the truth. “Because... I... don’t need any?”

“Geez, that’s depressing.” After a moment of sipping at her apple juice, she licks her lipgloss-laden lips. Yoongi looks up at the sun in hopes of it rendering him blind. He would not mind if it incinerated him, either. “I could be your friend, if you want.”