#konadei

Deidara: Nice to meet you all, hm, but I’m not really here to make friends.

Sasori, Tobi, Hidan and Itachi at the same time: What about a boyfriend??

Deidara:

Konan: Or girlfriend?

Zetsu: Or plant-friend?

Kisame: Or shark —

All Dolled Up / Fashion / Choker

@sasori-mini-bang

i am not an artist. but i had to draw these before i could write the fic! (they have no faces because i didn't want to fuck anything up. i wish i could have drawn their cool makeup!! 🥺)

Cyberdolls' Night Out (AO3)

cyberpunk AU Sasori/Konan/Deidara!

Hidan: This is fucking stupid, Leader.

Pein: I appreciate your honesty in telling me so, but I’m being serious. Please, be open with your comrades.

Hidan: Okay … three days ago I took several thousand yen from the stash Kakuzu keeps under his bed, to replace a broken blade on my scythe.

Kakuzu: What the fuck?! I should kill —

Pein: Now, Kakuzu; that’s not the point of this exercise. Honesty and open communication is.

Kakuzu: Fine. Then, being honest, whenever I stitch up Hidan’s wounds, I use a cheaper thread than I do for the others, because I think using the good stuff on him is pointless.

Hidan: You know what? That doesn’t even fuckin’ surprise me, ya cheap bastard.

Pein: Anyone else? Remember, anything that you feel would be relevant to the group.

*Tobi raises his hand*

Pein: Yes, Tobi?

Tobi, in Obito voice: I’m in love with Deidara. I was respectful in the past because I saw he was happy with Sasori, but now that Sasori is dead, I’m genuinely unsure how much longer I can hold out. I would marry him right now if I could.

Pein:

Itachi, blushing, in a low voice: Same.

Hidan: Double same.

Konan, furiously blushing: I —

Pein: You know what? Everyone go back to silence and lies, please. And Deidara, I’m getting you a strong lock for your door.

((Note: This is a new little mini-series I’m working on at the request of an Anon, about all of tbe guy’s going on a date with Konan. I was just going to put everyone’s together in one post but it’d be way too long, so each post will feature at least two of the guys.))

“So what’s this meeting about, Leader? And where is Konan?” It’s Kisame who asks the question, but everyone is curious about the answer. It was rare for Nagato to get them all out of bed so late at night for a meeting; they all assumed something catastrophic must have happened. As if reading their minds, Nagato clears his throat and says, reassuringly, “There is nothing wrong. I’ve called you here to discuss Konan. I’m sure you’ve all been observant enough to notice how Konan has been acting differently as of late?” All of the boys bow their heads in embarrassment; in truth, none of them have noticed anything “off” at all about the pretty blue-haired lady. When Nagato first informed his group of for-hire mercenaries and bodyguards that he was bringing his old friend into the house that they all shared, none of them had been very enthusiastic, to say the least. “A woman means we can’t walk around naked anymore!” “She’ll probably nag us to pick up and keep the house clean!” “That means no more dirty jokes, no nudie mags, no —“ But Nagato wasn’t hearing it. He moved Konan in, giving her his own bedroom (which was the nicest in the house AND the only one with its own connected bathroom) and told her to make herself at home. Which she did ... and making herself at home wasn’t ALL she did. She managed to turn the old house into a home, a home that she cleaned, a home that she cooked meals for everyone in, a place (and a face) that the others looked forward to seeing after coming home from a long (and often brutal) day. She was always there when somebody needed stitching up, or a hot meal, or just somebody to talk to. But now ... “She’s been feeling depressed as of late.” Then Nagato tells them something they didn’t know; the reason he asked her to live with them in the first place was because he didn’t want her to be alone, after the sudden death of her boyfriend (and Nagato’s best friend) Yahiko. It’s been almost a full year since his passing, but seeing as how the pain is still fresh in her mind, the upcoming “anniversary” of his demise has left her feeling very down. “So here’s what I want you all to do, every day this week, I want one of you to take Konan out of this house, to somewhere that she’ll enjoy herself.” “You mean like a date?” Nagato shakes his head, “She might not be receptive to that word. Instead frame it as an outing between two friends. The point being, take her away from here and make her happy. She deserves at least that much from us, for all that she does for us. Agreed?” Everyone agrees, and then Nagato provides a hat and writes everyone’s name on a slip of paper, to determine the order in which they’ll be asking Konan out. First up?

Kakuzu

Nagato drew Kakuzu’s name out first, which the nonagenarian wasn’t quite happy about. Kakuzu is the oldest member of Nagato’s group, and the smartest with money, which is why he’s been made the group treasurer. Any possible expenses for jobs taken have to be run through and approved by Kakuzu, and he’s known to be very frugal and careful with the group’s fund. While he likes Konan and appreciates all she does for the group, he has never been on a “date” in his life .. and certainly didn’t intend to start now. Nevertheless, when he approaches her and asks her to spend the day with him, she seems very surprised, but receptive. As expected, this man does not intend to do anything with Konan that will put him under any kind of financial strain. Free is the way to be, and you can bet that Kakuzu will already have a list of places or events in his head that don’t cost a penny to attend. For their date, he decides to take the lovely lady to a classical music concert in the park. The weather is beautiful and the park isn’t that far from the “base”, so they walk there. Konan chatters away happily the whole time, which Kakuzu more or less tunes out. He’d rather be back at home reading a book. But once they get to the park, and they spread out the blanket that Konan’s brought and sit, things change. The music is really beautiful, but not more so than Konan’s dreamy face, as she listens and sways along to the peaceful melodies. She’s also packed them a lunch, which Kakuzu nibbles at and appreciates (and not for the first time) how good of a cook she is. One song is so gorgeous that Konan can’t keep still, and she gets to her feet and holds out her hand, asking Kakuzu to dance with her. For the first time in years, he blushes. To be asked to dance by such a pretty young woman ... he stands, and the two move carefully around their little area. Seeing them dance awakens the desire in others, and pretty soon everyone is stepping around to the music. He will, maybe for the first time in his life, feel a bit insecure. He and Konan are only friends, but ... he sees the way everyone is looking at them. He can read their thoughts almost as if they’re being spoken aloud: What’s a pretty young girl doing with an old man like that? At some point in the afternoon, Kakuzu spots a souvenir stand and, seeing as the little trinkets aren’t too expensive, goes to pick one out for Konan. As he stands there, he can overhear a younger man walk up to Konan, shamelessly hitting on her, in fact telling her to “ditch grandpa over there and come back to my place for a good time, sweet-cheeks.” Kakuzu watches as the guy puts a hand on Konan’s arm, and he’s about to go and defend her when Konan takes the guys hand, pulls, and flips him clear over her shoulder and damn near across the park ((stunning the onlookers, and, especially, Kakuzu)). Kakuzu quickly turns back around and takes his souvenir (which is a keychain with a tiny glittery pink penguin on it) up to the table to buy. Konan comes up as he’s pulling out his wallet, and, leaning up, gently kisses his cheek, making him blush once again. Walking back home in the twilight, it’s much colder outside than when they first arrived, and Kakuzu takes off his jacket and drapes it over Konan’s shoulders, which provides her with wonderful warmth. She holds on to his arm all the way home, telling him what a nice time she had with him. They get back to base and Konan spends the entire night gushing to everyone else about their time, how fun it was, how great of a dancer Kakuzu is. Kakuzu tries to act gruff and nonchalant about this but inside, he’s beaming. In the days that follow, he’ll stop and smile every time he sees Konan’s keys hanging up, with the little glittery pink penguin dangling off the ring.

Deidara

Deidara is the second name drawn, and he’s happy about this. He’s the youngest of the group at 19, with long blonde hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a flair for all things “artistic”. He has no less than 10 piercings in each ear, and a self-designed tattoo on his chest. He’s often referred to by the others as being smart, but “really immature“, to which he disagrees. The problem with Deidara is that he has a mind that speeds ahead faster than the average person can deal with, and he often acts on impulse or feeling rather than logical thought. Still, he’s a valuable, strategic member of Nagato’s group ... even if he can be annoying at times. When not working, he’s the type who likes to have a fun time, no matter who he’s with; and Konan has been lots of fun to hang out with in the past. Although ... as far as he can recall, the two of them have never exoerienced a one-on-one outing with each other. Luck is on his side; he sees that there’s a carnival in town and he immediately asks Konan to go with him. She tells him that she has no money and he tells her not to worry about it, HE has money, just go with him because he hates doing fun things like that alone. She asks him if he means go with, on a date, and he gets flustered because Nagato had specifically mandated that they don’t let Konan know what all of this is. BUT, the other hand, he’s never been on a “date” in his life so, why not? “Yeah, hm. Me and you, pretty lady. What do you say?” She ends up saying yes, and the two set out for an afternoon of fun. Konan learns that Deidara is a competitive spirit, and he finds joy in playing the games. He manages to make a giant balloon explode in one game, and in turn wins Konan a huge stuffed giraffe that she needs both arms to carry. He buys her an abundance of fare sweets, such as cotton candy and funnel cakes, and then come the rides. Tilt a whirl, the go-carts, and the Fun House has them both shrieking near-hysterical laughter in the Hall Of Mirrors. Towards early evening, the fair grounds evoke a different atmosphere, as everything blooms into colorful lights. The Ferris wheel looks particularly enchanting, with its pink and blue globe-lights, and Deidara asks Konan if she wants to get on. But she’s a bit apprehensive about this, as heights aren’t really her thing. But Deidara’s eagerness and the beauty of the contraption appeal to her, and she finds herself (along with her giraffe) getting into one of the swinging cars with the excited blonde. They move higher and higher up into the sky, as the cars below them are filled with people, and although Konan is putting on. a brave face, a little jolt makes her jump. “Are you scared?” She gives him a shaky laugh. “N-no. Just startled.” “You’re sure? Because I can ask the guy to let us back off.” But again she shakes her head. once the last customers are loaded, the Ferris wheel starts up and Konan immediately moves closer to Deidara, grasping his arm. She’s shaking, but rather than point this out to her, Deidara begins talking to her, calmly, quietly. Going over all the fun things they did that day, and how much he appreciates her coming with him. Eventually Konan’s fears melt away and she’s able to fully open her eyes and take in the glorious night sky. Towards the end of the ride, their car is stopped at the very top as the people below them get off, and Konan takes the opportunity to move even closer and gently kiss Deidara’s cheek. He blushes fiercely, asking, “What was that for?” and she replies “I was feeling down earlier today. You asked me to come here with you and you made my whole day brighter. So thank you.” Her words give *him* a bright, warm feeling in his chest; one that stays with him as they get off the Ferris wheel, as they go home, and when he takes her to her room door. She’s holding her stuffed giraffe in her arms, and she’s chattering about where she’s going to put it, but Deidara is barely listening; all he can focus on is her soft-looking lips. This woman is his friend, and ONLY a friend, but — “Um, Konan?” “Yes” “Don’t laugh but, um, t-tonight was my