#kmonae

discover what my future held

what it still holds

why i had to experience pain

heartbreak, loss & grief

why it had to happen

to get to this moment

i let him hurt me

emotionally

for the plot.

and what an amazing

story

it will be.

yet my heart is too full.

my body is overworked

yet it yearns for you.

please don't let me down,

like many times before.

i could go, but instead

i'll just stand by the door.

hurts so bad

that sometimes

it doesn't hurt

at all.

i yearn

these are the

things i do

with my

free will.

endless

everlasting

encroaching.

what once was

butterflies and

rollercoasters.

now feels like being

invisibly handcuffed

to a tree of a man.

stubborn as all

prickly & precise

subtle stabbing

then subtle caring

repeatedly.

the ramblings of

the emotionally

drained.

romans 12:18

isn't it funny?

when i stop chasing,

you stop running?

feels so natural

being with you.

a feast on our fire,

an immaculate view.

good times & bad,

i do it with you.

if i could do it again,

i would times two.

we're up & down

in private, we clown.

if you were a storm,

i'd go through,

not around.

killing a piece of myself

this wednesday.

a weeping day.

an end to a chapter

of the longest book.

an end to a view,

just one last look.

you do this with me,

i do it with you.

when this is all over,

my soul will die too.