"Come back to bed." Pleaded Lance, his voice a little groggy as he rubbed sleep from his eyes, trying to adjust to the sharp light of the hallway where the man he just spent the night with was now standing.
The man stood frozen, his back turned. He didn't mean to awake Lance, because that made this next part all the more difficult. "I can't." Was all he muttered, quietly, unmoving.
Looking into the same disappointed eyes over and over again gets old.
"Yes, you can." The response came quick from Lance as he scrambled out of bed, putting on the pair of shorts that were last night frantically thrown onto the floor. "You do this every time. Just drop the bag, Keith."
A small huff of air was exhaled between them both, already knowing how this was going to end. The script seemed to never changed, despite many, many pathetic attempts.
Deciding to turn around and face the inevitable, Keith finally looked at Lance, and there they were: big, blue, desperate eyes staring right at him like they were about to be stripped of everything they held close.
Which, really, wasn't far from the truth.
"They need me-" Keith wanted to reason, though with no success as Lance was swift to cut him off.
"No, I need you." The desperation was not only evident in his eyes, but his voice raising ever so slightly higher than usual was just as much of a tell. "I need you, Keith."
Once again, the darker haired man sighed. Every single time this happened, a small fraction of Keith's resolve was broken. But apparently that resolve was huge, because after countless times, it was still holding up strong. "I'll be back in a few days."
Lance debated whether Keith was unaware of how poorly he lied, or if he was fully aware and just didn't care. Both options hurt all the same. Another consideration was that maybe all the time spent in space and jumping through wormholes had warped Keith's perception of time, though that sounded improbable.
Either way, Keith kept promising Lance lies.
When Krolia or Kolivan called, that was the end of whater blissful moment Lance was able to steal from Keith before he was deployed back across the universe for months at a time. Sure, Lance was mindful of the fact that time worked differently wherever Keith went, and cleaning up centuries of intergalactic war took time. But he had a reasonable excuse for being upset.
The other paladins had formed their own paths in life, leaving the battle behind, and focusing on their futures. But after Allura's sacrifice, Lance felt lost. He lacked his previous sense of adventure, and his will to meet new people turned into fear of abandonment.
When Keith reappeared into his life after a year, Lance finally felt like he had something to live for again. Someone who understood, was there for him. Though it wasn't long before his fear became a reality once again.
"Oh, spare me the bullshit, will you?"
That took Keith off guard. He hadn't heard Lance lash out at him since- he honestly couldn't recall. Their rival days were long gone, or so he thought.
"I can't keep doing this." Lance continued, whatever control of emotions he worked hard for was suddenly dwindling. "Do you take pleasure in messing with me?"
Back when the paladins had only just split, forming their own paths in life and finding balance after years of being on the front lines, Keith disappeared for over a year. A year of silence, until one day he returned and ran straight into Lance's arms.
Everyone was so thrilled to learn of the long awaited relationship finally blooming. Except, it never really did.
The two never exactly discussed what it was they had, leaving it as a hanging question over them that neither dared to bring up. Whatever it was, it was enough. At first.
But Keith said he didn't want to hurt Lance by giving him a relationship that he could not see himself committing to. Not while he was still at the blades disposal.
That didn't stop him from turning up at Lance's doorstep after months of being away, flashing a practiced smile that screamed 'I missed you, let me in.'
So every time, without fail, Lance did just that. Let Keith into his house, room, bed. Himself.
It took everything in Keith to be patient, reasonable, understanding of how much pain he put Lance in every time he disappeared on him. But he always came back, that's what mattered. Wasn't it? "People need me." Keith's tone matched the others now; louder and becoming snappy. "I can't abandon my duties."
"You have no problem abandoning me."
"I don't have a duty to you."
The room suddenly fell into a deafening silence, leaving the two of them staring blankly at eachother. It seems neither of them were expecting those words to leave Keith's mouth.
At least Lance knew were he stood now.
A stupidly long moment passed before Keith finally found it in him to say something, anything, to try and save this. "Hold on, that's not what-"
"No, no. You're right." Once again, the attempt was interrupted. Though strangely, Lance's previous desperation was no longer heard. Instead, he took a deep breath, and looked at Keith with a newfound calmness. "You don't owe me shit."
"Baby?" Lance mocked in a dry laugh. That was the first time ever he's heard any form of endearment, but instead of it filling him with excitement, it filled him with anger. "Please, don't go switching up on me now."
Keith had no other choice but to admit defeat, sighing heavily and dropping his gaze. On one hand, he was fed up of explaining himself. He gave his word to his mother that when needed, he would be there. His responsibility would forever be to help the people. He felt he owed that much as the former paladin of the black lion.
However, he also knew that Lance deserved stability.
Keith was anything but stable.
"I'll be back." He spoke bluntly, saying the same thing as always. For some reason though, this time it wasn't as convincing.
His bag was secured onto his shoulders, and he turned around to face the door. For a moment, he considered saying something more, but Lance beat him to it.
"You're running away." Lance's tone was accusatory, certain.
Almost flinching at the harsh words, Keith couldn't find it in himself to turn around. Not until he was already out the front door. But when his feet landed on the concrete outside, he decided that he wasn't beneath defending himself one last time.
Except he didn't get the chance.
"Maybe you should just stay away." Lance added, and with that the door was shut in Keith's face.
