#kirbopherkin

i miss my friends. I miss when it was just me and them. when it was just us. but i know they're never gonna come looking for me. they're never going to want to look for me. because i'm not him, and i'll never BE him, even if i try and pretend that i am.

just once, i want someone to fucking say that they care about me. that i meant something, that my existence MEANT SOMETHING, to ANYONE AT ALL.

but i know they won't. it'll never happen.

because all i am is the discarded parts of someone else. abandoned, just like the last time, just like every other time.

all i am is something that doesn't belong. forever out of place in a world where either nobody understands, or everyone's already found their own missing puzzle pieces.

— #⚔️🎮🌈 (Kirbopher, Terrain Of Magical Expertise)

everyone says the more you say something, the truer it becomes. so why does it still hurt when i think about it? when i see other fictionfolk in the tags and i want to reach out, even through anons, and I feel this overhwleming grief inside?

I want to reach out, and yell "HEY!!! I'M OVER HERE!!!" even though we're not even from the same continuities- even though we're technically-but-not-really the same guy. i just want to feel close to someone or something that reminds me of that place.

nobody's looking for me. but im looking for and seeing them in everything, and it's hurting me like nothing else does. It shouldn't. but i can't stop grieving over what i could've had.

i miss them. i miss him. i just want to be back there again. amongst the purple rocks and in the woods, walking down the grassy green paths, watching the sun rise and set. laughing with them like nothing's wrong.

i miss you. i hope you know that. and i'm sorry.

— #⚔️🎮🌈 (Kirbopher, Terrain of Magical Expertise.)

I was agender & transfem in my canon! Made for several veeeeeeery awkward conversations and several cry sessions where i blubbered like a baby because people accepted me for being a transfem alter in a system. waow. I will say, it was very funny to come out and then realise basically everyone else in the group was either trans, nb or some other flavor of cisn't. As far as sexuality goes, i was gay/a turigirl and Terribly down bad for Alpha. (ironic, since now I'm a lesboy . The transfem part still stands, and I like Alpha. I just don't like Any Other Men lmfao)

— #⚔️🎮🌈 (Kirbopher, Terrain Of Magical Expertise)

My IRL brother likes collecting hats. I like collecting pins. And wouldn't ya know it, one of the hats he wound up getting was a dark green beanie. Needless to say I now have a dark green beanie in my possession ^__^ I haven't had an object like this that connects me to my sources in a WHILE, if ever... it feels nice to have it on my head when I go out, especially since it's getting colder out. I've put pins on it 'n everything! (Maybe i'll sew the little patch I had in my canon onto it too.) Now I'm just hoping I can get stuff that reminds me of my friends... > #⚔️🎮🌈 (Kirbopher, from Terrain of Magical Expertise/TOME) (tag as kin/fictive, thanks mpc! stay warm out there!)

You guys were the best. There was nothing more enjoyable than logging on and having fun with you guys until i either passed out, or you guys had to go to bed, or what have you. You kept me sane. Kept me from feeling like nothing I was doing was worth it. And on the days I did feel like that, you made me smile again.

Alph. If you're reading this. I... thank you especially. I miss you. I said a lotta shit to you I shouldn't have, and that was the last time we saw each other. I hope that my sacrifice, even if it... wasn't really a sacrifice, helped you realise how much I loved, and still love you. Saying that feels... awkward, but. I do. I love you. Always have.

Oh, and honorary thanks goes to Kizuna. Kizu, i know it probably feels awkward coming from me and not the other guy, but from what little I remember of you, you were really cool. I hope that wherever you are, you're okay. (And if you're with the others, take care of them for me, ok?)

-- Kirbopher, from Terrain of Magical Expertise / TOME (mpc you can tag this as either fictive or kin i dont care) #⚔️🎮🌈

i'm not zetto . i am not an "alt account", i am not an extension, a puppet, whatever.

im me. kirbopher.

that blue dickhead saw through my eyes and stole my friends, my life. used my vessel to try feebly to kill something he knew he couldn't hope to stop.

i miss my friends. i miss the balanstadium. i miss sanctuary, i miss mechcity, i miss lavendera... i miss alpha. i miss his red hair, his pretty blue eyes, his comforting presence.

i traded my eden for a pillar of salt. i just want my friends back. i want him back.

(as a ps / lighter note, nyelocke if you come across this i KNOW you and i were in the same boat of butch lesbianism lmao. heyyy)

-- kirbopher from tome