#keirsey

Please note: NF = Intuitive Feeler in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or the “Idealists” in Keirsey’s typology system. NF personality types tend to overlap with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs).

Many NFs struggle to find their calling in life – and usually, for NF people they are searching for a calling, a life purpose. Generally NFs don’t just want a job, they want a meaningful career and vocational direction. Of course, for various reasons NFs may have to work at a job they don’t find particularly stimulating or rewarding. Some may work at a fairly mundane job to support their family, or to fund other creative, spiritual or community service pursuits. I have found NF people to be quite adaptable and are found in all kinds of different workplaces – not just the typical “recommended” careers for their type.

Of all the types, NFs have the most difficulty dealing with jobs and career choices, because the things which NFs at excel at are generally not all that profitable. NFs are typically most interested in and most skilled at various forms of creative arts, music, psychology, social justice, advocacy and community service work. Unfortunately these jobs are often less profitable than many other career paths, and the skills of NFs do not immediately lend themselves to make a great deal of money. This can lead to all sorts of problems, like the “starving artist” syndrome.

Nevertheless, many NFs do not aspire to be affluent, and do not find money or conventional forms of status to be terribly motivating. Yet it is a necessity of life, and it can be frustrating when you can’t find a job in the area that you are most passionate about. Personally, I have experienced conflicting feelings about making money from the vocational areas I’m interested in. Sometimes there is a sense of guilt, or a feeling that these things are too important to make them into a business. I get concerned that money may interfere with my motivation, or somehow detract from the real purpose.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that making money can be a positive thing, as long as it is done in an ethical way. Also, making a profit can be a really good thing, as it enables me to be more generous and give to others. As the successful artist and entrepreneur, Stephanie Rose Freeman says, money amplifies who you are. 

But I do think that dealing with the business side of things can make NFs uncomfortable, as many of these areas – for instance the music industry – are very profit-driven, and this conflicts with NF values in many cases. There is also a common frustration that our culture and society does not always value and is not always willing to pay for the things which NFs view as important and essential to life.

It does seem that the perceiving types have more difficulty making a decision about what to study or what career path to follow, compared to the judging types who are a bit more stable in their sense of direction. As an ENFP, I know that I change my mind a lot – and I’ve also noticed many INFPs do the same thing. I heard one middle-aged INFP lady proclaim, “I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up!” If you are wrestling with this and feel like you should know by now, then you are not alone. It’s not just a challenge for teenagers and young adults – people of all ages have trouble finding direction and knowing what they want to do with their life.

So what is the solution? I won’t claim to have any instant or simple answers to “finding your true calling”. Besides, the concept of “calling” will vary from person to person. For some people, it might mean a spiritual purpose or mission. For others it is more about a career or a particular area of study. Still others see their purpose and goals in life to be more about marriage, family and relationships. For most NFs, I think the idea of “calling” embraces all the above areas, but some people emphasise one aspect more than others.

I would like to share some tips, suggestions and ideas that I have found helpful. This is not professional advice, so feel free to take it or leave it! I have a keen interest in psychology and counselling, but I am by no means qualified. The only qualification I have is that I am an NF, and I’ve observed a many other NFs throughout my life.

Here are eight factors to consider:

One: Write down your dreams and goals, and be willing to brainstorm all kinds of ideas – even the ones that seem wild and wacky. Some people find it helpful to do something creative, such as making a collage of their “ideal life” or the things they are passionate about. Others may be inspired by images on Pinterest, which reflect their hopes and dreams for the future. I once made a slideshow of images which music, which reflected my desires for the future and my sense of identity.

Don’t just consider your long-term goals here, but consider what would your ideal day look like. What would you be doing? How would you spend your time? This can help you get more granular and gain clarity about what you would like to be doing on a day-to-day basis. For instance, you may love painting, but if you’re an extrovert then being isolated on your own in a studio may not be an optimal situation long-term.

Two: Remember there are different seasons of life, and in each season there may be a different focus. In one season of life, I may be focusing primarily on my studies. In another season, I may put more effort into my friendships and community involvement. There may be seasons of travel, searching and self-discovery. Many will go through seasons of investing in their marriage and children. Allow yourself to go through these seasons, and recognise that each one is valid – even if other people do not value them or think you are wasting your time.

Three: Some people make the idea of “calling” all about having your dream job or career. This can be wonderful, but don’t be limited if you are stuck in a mundane job right now. Is there some volunteering you can do which would be rewarding? What creative areas can you pursue in the mean time? Do you have a business idea you would like to explore on the side? Is there a course you could study part-time? Try to see your calling and purpose in a more holistic way, and embrace different ways of finding fulfillment.

Four: This one is particularly for the ENFPs and INFPs: cut yourself a bit of slack. Most NFPs take longer than others to really work out their true calling, purpose and mission in life. People may judge you as unstable, flighty or uncommitted – but don’t take it personally! Many people, especially SJ types, will not easily resonate with NF values. They may find it hard to see the connection between all the different jobs and areas of study you have engaged in, but you will see a common thread among them. Don’t internalise the judgements of other people, hard as it may be.

Five: I really like how Mike from NF Geeks describes NF “path finding” and his recommendations. Mike advises NF types to look for careers that embrace the values of ‘transformation’ and ‘transcendence’. (See link at the bottom of the page.) This can be found in many different types of work, but those principles are important to keep in mind when choosing a career direction or path of study. Also, don’t just consider the kind of job you prefer, but the type of lifestyle and relationships you want.

Six: Be open to different types of careers and various ways of gaining an income. Some people have a couple of part-time jobs, or run their own business on the side. Many NFs enjoy being an entrepreneur, as it gives them lots of scope for flexibility and creativity – as well as doing something more meaningful. For instance, I’m sure that many self-employed life coaches are NFs! I’ve been really inspired by Marianne Cantwell’s book ‘How to be a Free Range Human’ which explores various unconventional career paths.

Seven: Consider what gives you energy and what drains your energy. When do you feel excited, energised and inspired? What gets your juices flowing? Introverts may want to be careful of jobs that require too much extroversion, as they will often end up very drained at the end of the day and will not have much energy left for their friends and family. Extroverts may get too lonely and feel isolated working from home all the time. Personally, I’ve found jobs that require a great deal of attention to detail can be draining, as generally these are areas that Sensors excel at.

Eight: See if you can find people living lives that inspire you – preferably someone you know. Get to know them and ask them questions. Find out how they got into their particular vocation or career. You might even be able to find a mentor who can encourage you and give you wise advice. However, be careful of trying to emulate someone else who may have very different skills and talents from you. Remember to appreciate your own unique gifts and calling, rather than copying another person.

Further Resources:

Puttylike: A Home for Multipotentialites

NF Pathfinding Video by Dr Mike Boudria

150+ Art Careers – The Ultimate List

Live Your Legend: Change the World by Doing Work You Love

How to Be a Free Range Human by Marianne Cantwell

Sure classic that daddy Keirsey vouches for.

Ehm.

This type of relationship is also a very common fictional story trope. Especially if the girl is INFP and the guy, usually some bad boy gangster, is ENTJ.

Also makes me think of how Lana Del Rey writes her songs about sugar daddies. Very much an INFP/ENTJ dynamic.

I suppose if your boi is a bad boy gangster and part-time sugar daddy, you’re playing your cards right.

...

These are my initial dum dum thoughts, but then to be more serious, I’d say that Te dom naturally encourages Fi dom to be more proactive about their creative projects, and Fi dom softens the Te dom and helps them accept their humanity and its flaws.

If both people are mature, I can see how this relationship can be incredibly complementary and rewarding.

For the Love Types quiz! I’m fashionably late to the party cause I wanted to add some nicer art to it but have been too busy with my finals x’D Thanks so much for the tag, @thewookieruns ! :D

Nathaniel Ronan

Your Love Type: The Protector (INFJ)

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. You have an ideal clearly in your mind. For you, relationships are nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. You don’t take anything lightly. Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you’re in. You don’t want to have or be anyone’s second choice. However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. You don’t want to give your all until you’re entirely sure.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

(( I’m tickled that he got this result on the quiz, because INFJ//Advocate is also Nate’s actual Keirsey temperament x’D ))

Nate’s an old fashioned lover and a total cheeseball. Like. It’s embarrassing. If you’re the muse of his adoration, you’ll know it. He’ll say so. He’ll show you. Holding hands, long walks in the moonlight, kissing beneath the mistletoe, all that jazz. That’s not to say he’s cliche, just a classic™. Nate is frequently spontaneous in his displays of affection, but never careless. He is constantly, intuitively, surveying the needs and emotions of his significant other. This attention to even the most subtle shifts can be aggravatingly keen. He’s a giver, not a taker, and he gives boldly. When Nate does commit to someone, his affection for them is blinding, and with the wrong partner this could easily be taken advantage of. With Piper, who is equally bold, it’s a four alarm fire xD This attentiveness applies to platonic relationships as well, Nate is a considerate friend who would pour himself dry for another’s benefit without expecting reciprocation. You couldn’t hope for a more devoted ally.

It’s not a bad place to start, but MBTI is more in-depth / expansive than Keirsey and you need to narrow it down (Idealists do line up with NFs in general) by learning the cognitive differences between NiFe (INFJ) and FiNe (INFP). I’ve done many comparisons between these types; check the infj x infp tag.

[con’t: language and used something that deals with internal psychology, so you end up with a lot of “X Observable Trait=X Internal Trait” that ultimately trends towards shallow analysis. Imo Keirsey had good ideas as far as observing people’s interactions and extrapolating what this could say about their ideal social roles, but his theory would have been better if he had ditched the MBTI framework or at least explicitly focused his theory on interactivity. I’d love any thoughts you have]