If I dislike something, I usually say I hate it. My dad has witnessed that for years. I don't dislike things, I hate them! I can't just do small scale dislike most of the time, I usually wind up either genuinely raging or using language that suggests I am (even when I'm not). I've tried to work on it, but it still all comes out when I'm feeling really stressed or upset. With how temperamental I am, that means it comes up often.
I'm also not very good at calming down when I'm stressed. If I'm stressed, it means I'm gonna stay stressed until I burn out or I explode. I'm someone of great volatility. I write fairly rationally, I think. But when I'm speaking, I feel like I just get angry easily. Even when I'm writing, it does slip in. When I remember that all I have are ideas but no ability to write descriptions or dialogue, I get angry. When I remember the topic of the day that's aggravating me, I explode.
There's a reason I sometimes say things like "we should ban all horror movies." I don't really believe everything I'm saying, but when I'm stressed I just shout my emotional responses to stress. If horror scares me so badly, my emotional response is to demand it be banned or hidden from my sight. I can't fully retract words I say in anger, because I do somewhat believe it. But I only believe it mildly, usually. And so I fear ostracising people when I'm angry. sigh...














