#kardue'sai'malloc

Kardue’sai’Malloc, known by his alias Labria, was a Devaronian war criminal and music collector. Serving as a captain in the Devaronian army, Kardue’sai’Malloc was responsible for the execution of several hundred civilians, interpreting orders in the bloodiest way possible. This earned him a massive price on his head, and he fled Devaron, following his favorite musicians around the galaxy as he dodged bounty hunters.

Source: Star Wars: Behind the Magic (1998)

First Appearance: Star Wars (1977)

1. The three traits I look for in a partner are kindness, stability and they must be DEVILISHLY handsome

2. Two places I like to go on dates? Well, one simply can’t go past a nine-course degustation bracketed with paired aperitifs. That, or an evening digging in the muck at the old junkyard, the dulcet tones of rats scrabbling all around under a gorgeous miasma of rot

3. My favourite emojis? 🦐🥸🥚

4. There are only two things I’m afraid of. First, the gnawing sense of inevitable meaninglessness brought about in moments of ennui when remembering with a crawling sort of understanding that we are all ultimately ephemeral sacks of electrical meat existing by pure chance alone and nothing we as a race of bipedal monkeys produce or destroy will matter in the eventual age of black holes in 40 < n < 100 wherein the dying universe eats itself and any remaining particles of matter are annihilated one by one until all that’s left is a void of nothingness. Second, Kevin Bacon.

(lakskakans don’t fkn ask why this semi-turned into a maul rp LOL pls make it a good one for me bb x)

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Kardue'sai'Malloc is one handsome Devaronian. As a former army captain on the run due to his deadly crimes, the two of you can anguish over your existential fears in shared romantic bliss as you help Kardue'sai'Malloc (or Labria, the name he might prefer we give to you) evade capture. He's one of the galaxy's highest bounties after all! Very sexy. Your first date will be a romantic shared charcuterie board served on the lid of a trashcan that Labria painstakingly dug through to procure your meal. The glow of the back alley lights will set the mood perfectly as he regales you with tales of his past war crimes.

I started off the year with a painting of one of my very favorite Star Wars characters (which was Bib Fortuna*.) Now, for Star Wars Day, I've decided to paint the other one! My other very favorite*!

So here's Kardue'sai'Malloc! The short story about him in the "Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina" anthology is...it's actually one of the most tragically beautiful and affecting short stories I've ever read. At least for my money. Gets me right in all of the feels. I love him.

And I hope you all are having fine indulgence in your own favorite things today! Take from Kardue'sai'Malloc the lesson to hold on to the art that is important to you and gives you something to live for in this grim and morally-compromised world. May the Fourth be with you all!

(*Yes, I know I have a type.)

THANK you for the asks!

Fave Kiss:

You know, I was tempted to put Leia’s “for luck” kiss from the first movie, because I still remember the child I was being all “oooooo” at that kiss and being all happy for Luke our knight in shining stormtrooper armor that the Princess kissed him.  I was sure they were going to live happily ever after...and they DID, just not quite how I envisioned...

But because that kiss has weird connotations now, imma gonna go with a classic:

There is so much passion there, how Han just twists his mouth over hers YUM.

Least Fave Kiss:

I seem to call upon the ST to exist when I need a least fave, and so lemme say the Finn/Rose kiss after she fucks up his heroic sacrifice.  Yeah.  It was so annoying and frustrating to me and completely lacking in chemistry.  You kissed Poe’s boyfriend Rose!  Sorry if you ship ‘em.

Fave Background Extra:

Really hard to pick.  I love so many...I was tempted to pick Hammerhead or Max Rebo but they are like...more than background extras...since they had figures and names and stuff?  I love the rancor keeper so much but I don’t consider him background “extra” either...Anyone who gets a full screen shot isn’t really background, right?

*sitting here thinking for 20 minutes*

ah fuck it I’m gonna go with the Ithorian cause he was the first one that came to mind.  So creative and they are a peaceful race fer reals this dude was just a bad apple hanging out in a bad part of town.

Least Fave Background Extra:

This is also tough but I think I was most terrified of this dude as a child:

With the Tonnika sisters right behind.  I don’t know why but I fuckin hate them.  They look so ... inserted.  I recognize this as totally irrational and I do apologize.

This shit looks like a low budget cantina scene from a Star Wars movie. Where’s the space wolfman? Where’s this guy?

Oh wait there he is.

Kardue’sai’Malloc, known as The Butcher of Montellian Serat and operating under the alias Labria was an ex-military Devaronian music collector. After outrage following his war crimes on Devaron, he fled and began following promising musical groups around the galaxy, eventually settling on Tatooine and entering a shady contract with Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes. He was bitter and without much sympathy, but held a deep-seated grief for his actions on Devaron.

Source: http://web.archive.org/web/20110710133839/http://www.starwars.com/games/othergames/news20090611.html