11th house placements / stellium / strong influence over the natal chart is a living, contradictory experience.
You yearn so deeply to be a part of the collective, yet your purpose lies in the process of individuation and stabilising your “I”
With reference to Gigi Young’s exploration of Anthroposophic teachings of Rudolf Steiner, it is painful to find your “I”. It is painful because it causes you to detach from society and follow a path that is not walked by many. One that is rooted in truth and not in Maya, the illusions of the new age.
Collective healing, and needing initiators to assist you through a spiritual awakening are processes unique to the past, before the evolution of humanity. We now have it within ourselves to facilitate our own personal evolution by looking within.
However, if you look around, in the age of Maya, many people, processes and ways of the world are rooted in the past. Teaching us, nay, sometimes forcing us to look for answers outside of ourselves, which can make it feel like SUCH a lonely experience when you choose to walk the path of resistance, and therefore true alchemy.
You naturally feel connected to humanity and collective consciousness, and want to make it a better experience for everyone with knowledge and learning different ways to feel connected to everyone and the universe...however the more you engage with the collective your "I" struggles to understand how everyone's "I" doesnt show the same reflection. (For lack of a better metaphor)
Personally, with my scorpio placements in the 11th house, I’m the person everyone knows without really knowing. It works well in most circumstances. It’s a defence mechanism. Because I know I’m not meant to fit in. Because I never really have. I so dearly want to be surrounded by my soul tribe, however when I look around me I see souls that choose the path of least resistance and choose not to find their “I” and it makes me feel so out of place. It’s a constant battle because I don’t want to have to water down myself to fit in.
Therefore, strengthening my “I” means people don’t understand me, and it’s something I am still learning to be comfortable with.
I just think the contradiction is so funny. Everyone wants to say they know me. But it’s more so they “know of me” and are too scared to cross the line into “getting to know me” because the sense of “I” is scary and feels like uncharted territory.
Also I personally cannot stand when people want to small talk might be the touch of the tism but when I’m out I go sober and I just wanna talk about stars and shit like pls save me from the misery of mundane chatter.
Let me know if you experience this too!