#justakid

Here's one of my oldest paintings, "October" c.1999, acrylic on canvasboard. October 1993 was the year I "officially" broke into my firstcserious full-fledged psychosis, but in October 1989 (up at the very top of the pic, maybe hard to see) was the year I'm pretty sure I entered the prodromal phase of developing schizophrenia. Prodromal is kind of like the "warning" phase with a few psychotic features, but not full-blown. I was only 14. I was scared of everything, thought I was being laughed at at school for really no reason. Everything was horrifying, the Satanic Panic of the 80s was in full swing, I was convinced Satan was after me, a whole lot of weird beliefs i never brought up out of paranoia. Hence the name of the painting and the "good vs evil" themes in the imagery. I'm sitting cross-legged in the center, just a kid trying to figure out why this is all happening. #art #darkart #darkartists #fineart #outsiderart #eyes #g_o_d_a #horror_sketches #nightmare #eyesore #horror #horrorart #macabreart #mentalillness #schizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizoaffective #mentalhealthawareness #whatitfeelslike #justakid #popeofhell_art #originalart #ugly #toomuch #paranoid #paranoia #artistsontumblr #artistsoninstagram #instaart #instartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CGvl4nkJD3K/?igshid=1dnnugq3kzej0

Here's a throw back! Holy moly look at that guitar face. This is the early days of my old band Two Lane Black Top - I honestly don't know when this photo was taken! Ages ago!! #ibanez #shred #metalface #justakid 🔥😈🤘🏽

#hangingout at Malmok #beach with my big bro on #aruba 46 years ago. #bigbrother #justakid #throwback #onehappyisland🌴☀️🇦🇼 (at Malmok Beach Aruba) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMHE_evBczp/?igshid=xxwuoih9d644

It’s so funny, sometimes how in life your future can find you, instead of you searching for your future. Here’s a throwback to a very young @benbusko in his actual garden. And where did the business name Ben’s Garden come from, this actual garden that was Ben’s own space at home. Sometimes you don’t need any words to understand what somebody is thinking 😉. A behind the scenes moment, three days later that week- the landscapers mowed over all of Ben’s sunflowers that he is here standing next to and so proud of. #ugh #lessonlearned #bensgarden #benbusko #justakid #bensactualgarden #flowers #sohappyimtaller #learning #humor #thatlook #justlaugh (at Long Island, NY) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL5gYSjMNTm/?igshid=11wsj5ov93et6

It’s so funny, sometimes how in life your future can find you, instead of you searching for your future. Here’s a throwback to a very young @benbusko in his actual garden. And where did the business name Ben’s Garden come from, this actual garden that was Ben’s own space at home. Sometimes you don’t need any words to understand what somebody is thinking 😉. A behind the scenes moment, three days later that week- the landscapers mowed over all of Ben’s sunflowers that he is here standing next to and so proud of. #ugh #lessonlearned #bensgarden #benbusko #justakid #bensactualgarden #flowers #sohappyimtaller #learning #humor #thatlook #justlaugh (at Long Island, NY) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL5gPc8Ahk2/?igshid=i8wfb6bfpuxt

📷 Fujixa5-meikee 35mm f1.4