#schizoaffectivedisorder

short little comic doodle about psychosis and insomnia xxx

I ran away from home and spent the day in another town trying to pull myself together and figure out what I was going to do. I was psychotic, I thought people were going to kill me, I needed to get the micro chip out of my leg. I ended up buying a rope and making a noose on the monkey bars at a park at night time and people were actually walking past and laughing at me. I ran, and I laid in the middle of the road, I wanted the snipers to just shoot me, cars beeped their horns and I got dragged off the road. People called the police, and police on bicycles came and they said I was mentally unwell and we waited for an ambulance to take me to hospital which took like over an hour. In hospital I tried running away but never worked they’d always catch me, I kept getting sedated. I was in emergency for 2 days then sent to the mental health hospital where I am now, been here for nearly 4 weeks. Also my wound I spoke about in a previous post got so infected in hospital last week I got sent to emergency for IV antibiotics, I refused antibiotics and they sedated me to give me them. I think it’s getting infected again because my temp is going back up and it’s all red around it and yucky pus in it, I don’t want it treated, last week I was at the start of treatment for sepsis, if left I could of lost my leg or could of spread to other parts of my body including the heart. I don’t know how long I’ll be here for, I saw the clinical psychologist on Wednesday and she reckons I’ll be in here for a while but it’s up to my doctors.

Here's one of my oldest paintings, "October" c.1999, acrylic on canvasboard. October 1993 was the year I "officially" broke into my firstcserious full-fledged psychosis, but in October 1989 (up at the very top of the pic, maybe hard to see) was the year I'm pretty sure I entered the prodromal phase of developing schizophrenia. Prodromal is kind of like the "warning" phase with a few psychotic features, but not full-blown. I was only 14. I was scared of everything, thought I was being laughed at at school for really no reason. Everything was horrifying, the Satanic Panic of the 80s was in full swing, I was convinced Satan was after me, a whole lot of weird beliefs i never brought up out of paranoia. Hence the name of the painting and the "good vs evil" themes in the imagery. I'm sitting cross-legged in the center, just a kid trying to figure out why this is all happening. #art #darkart #darkartists #fineart #outsiderart #eyes #g_o_d_a #horror_sketches #nightmare #eyesore #horror #horrorart #macabreart #mentalillness #schizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizoaffective #mentalhealthawareness #whatitfeelslike #justakid #popeofhell_art #originalart #ugly #toomuch #paranoid #paranoia #artistsontumblr #artistsoninstagram #instaart #instartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CGvl4nkJD3K/?igshid=1dnnugq3kzej0

Amo’s evil (yet disarmingly handsome) alter ego @miles.astro has merch up for sale in his bio! Proceeds are going to help unsheltered and at-risk folx here in Minneapolis. (The last photo is our old fish, Master 1.0. He has nothing to do with this, but his face is never not funny.) • • • #justisolationthings #procreate #digitalcomics #milesastro #covid19 #comic #comics #digitalillustration #illustration #selfisolation #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #mentalhealth #nami #mentalillness #blog #bloggersofinstagram #blogger #fuckyou #fuckclassicism #classstruggle #proletariat #tshirts #totebags #swag #merch #fundraiser #qttr #queerart #queerartist (at Jackalope Tattoo) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBVn_drHeNd/?igshid=e3fmdr298jwc

Over coming fears and obstacles. #starisborn #pinkzebra #schizoaffectivedisorder #iamme #fuckthehaters https://www.instagram.com/p/BuUFXG4BZFq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1k9tl0acyzpfz

My aim is to make a sight to my inner universe trough art.

new zine for sale in the shop

link to buy here