#juno2020

I could potentially cum, but I have to earn it.

Each day, he'll request something from me. He favours getting sucked. Usually while watching porn. He loves coming in my ass, and occasionally enjoys using my vagina as if it were a fleshlight. This last thing, though, is something I usually beg for and therefore don't get a lot.

Depending on how much he enjoys the activity, I'll get points. I can use the points the next day to roll a dice. The more points I get, the more chances I have to cum.

If I get lucky with the dice, he'll choose how I get to cum. But when I'm about to cum I must warn him and he might change the way I'm allowed to do it.

Last night I was allowed to cum rubbing my clit on the mattress while sucking him.He knows I suck him much better if I'm desperate, and after two weeks of edging I definitely was. It's quite hard for me to cum like that, but eventually, I was close, so I told him. He wanted to enjoy my horniness even more, so he asked me to penetrate me from behind. Unfortunately it's almost impossible for me to finish like that. I wasn't able to do it before him, so the game ended and I missed my chance.

This is my first time writing, please don’t be too critical! lol

He is always my daddy, but he is always fucking other people.  I pretend like it isn't happening and don’t bring it up.  I know I am my Daddy’s favorite and I am the one who has been around the longest, other girls come and go.  My Daddy always gives me love and attention and usually doesn’t talk about the other girls.  He knows that I am a little bit jealous and he thinks it's funny.  Sometimes if I talk about wanting his cum he says that he will cum in another girl's pussy and make me lick it out.  NO THANKS!! I have never been with another girl.  Everytime we pass a strip club or a hooker on the side of the road he talks about how we should stop and he can cum in them and then make me lick them clean.  I laugh and tell him I'm not even worried. He has been talking about this for like 2 years and it's never going to happen.  I used to be afraid he would do it, but not anymore.

Today I showed up to Daddy’s house, he said he was going to make me dinner and we were going to catch up on some shows that we are behind on, but when I walked in I heard a woman laughing. I walked up the stairs nervously.  It's always just me and Daddy, we never really hang out with other people, and when we do he warns me.  I have no warning for what tonight will bring. 

I get up the stairs and Daddy is standing in the kitchen with the beautiful girl.  They are laughing and talking. Daddy notices me and says “Here she is! We’ve been waiting for you!” Daddy introduces me to his princess and tells me that's what I can call her.  Daddy tells her I am one of his other subs, he tells her that I am just a pathetic little humiliation slut who will do anything they both tell me.  Daddy tells her I am her gift for tonight, because she was such a good girl, she can do anything she wants to me, but she can't let me or make me cum.  No Orgasms for Stormy, she is grounded.  I stand there, completely embarrassed, I can feel my face turning red. I want to argue, I want to leave but I stand there while this stranger laughs at me and asks what's wrong with me, why I would let him do this to me, can she really do anything she wants?

Daddy tells me to take off my clothes and get on my knees while I do what he says he starts kissing her, telling her she can do whatever she wants, putting his hands all over her body. Its so hard for me to watch.  She looks down at me and sees how sad I am and laughs. She smacks me in the face and tells me to lick her feet.  I look at my Daddy hoping he will day or do something to stop this, but instead he tells me to apologize to Princess for not following directions.  She laughs at me some more and tells me to start licking.  I lower my face to her toes and start licking, she says “Daddy, you're right, she is a pathetic slut”. This is like a punch in the stomach.  I have never heard someone else call MY DADDY Daddy in front of me, and i realize that they are both right.  I am a pathetic slut, because as much as I hate all of this, my pussy is leaking uncontrollably and I am probably more turned on than I have ever been in my life.  Daddy stops kissing and fondling Princess and goes to get the flogger and starts flogging my ass and pussy while I lick his girlfriends feet. 

Soon Daddy takes off his pants,  I love sucking Daddy’s dick, I’m already on my knees, he waves it in my face and asks me if I want it!!! “YAY!!! Yes Please Daddy!!” He walks over to the couch and sits down and tells me to crawl to him, I crawl over, Princess walks over like a person. I kneel in front of him like a begging dog with my mouth open almost drooling over my Daddys cock.  He asks if I really think he is going to let me suck his cock while she is there and they both laugh. I am ready to cry.  She puts MY DADDYS cock in her mouth.  He tells me to get to work.  I start licking and sucking Daddy’s balls, Princess is drooling all over his cock and its dripping down to his balls and on to my face.  My face is buried in Daddy’s balls and covered in mine and princesses spit, I am trying to get the upper hand and show Daddy what a good girl I am, so am rubbing his balls all over my face and sliding down licking his taint, trying to get up the courage to lick his asshole.  My tongue slides over it again and again till I finally decide to go all in. Now I'm making out with Daddys asshole. I hear him moaning, I love that sound. Daddy cums and I don't get any.  I just get called a dirty little slut. 

Father’s day fell on my 24th day without an orgasm.  I got daddy the BEST PRESENT EVER and he loved it.  We spent the day together and went to a nice dinner.  When we got home from dinner daddy told me to get on my hands and knees, pull down my panties and pull up my dress. He went to the bedroom and got my stuffed hippo that I snuggle and bite into when daddy beats me. He threw in on the floor in front of me. Daddy said he was going to beat me with the vampire paddle, but he couldn’t find it.  I was disappointed and then even more disappointed when he brought out the super thick cane.  I HATE IT!  It feels like a thud, it doesn’t cut in to me like the bamboo cane does and half the time it doesn’t even leave marks!  I love the marks and the pain that I feel for days after.  It's a constant reminder that I belong to daddy and that I'm uncomfortable because he wanted to beat me.  He had fun and I am in pain, and the marks are so pretty! Daddy beat me,  I didn’t start crying at first, I was irritated because I didn’t get the paddle I wanted him to use.  Sometimes I forget that Daddy does what he wants to and I don’t get a say.  I am his. I belong to Daddy, he is in charge, he makes the decisions and I trust him completely.  That’s when I broke and started crying.  Please daddy, stop, I’m sorry! He kept going for a few more minutes before saying Okay, 10 more.  He did the first 6 at a steady pace, then he slowed down for the last 4, they were the worst and it seemed to take forever, each one was worse than the one before.  I was a sobbing mess on the floor by the end.  Daddy went to sit on the couch and told me to crawl over to him.  I crawled between his legs and sobbed in to his stomach while he pet my head.  I asked if I was a good girl and he said Not always, but then you get beat and everything is right again.  

 We got into bed and I sucked Daddys dick for a few minutes before he told me to lick his balls.  I got down between his legs and lapped every inch of his balls with my tongue. I kept going lower and burying my face in his balls. I knew I couldn’t touch my pussy because I would get too excited and I am not allowed to have orgasms for at least another week, maybe not till July… Maybe not till I go back to work in August, daddy hasn’t decided yet.  Sometimes I hope he lets me, and sometimes I hope he makes me wait till New Years or something crazy.  If I touched my pussy with my face buried in daddys balls and my tongue working toward his asshole I would cum immediately.   I wanted my daddy’s cum all over my face.  I want him to degrade me in so many ways.  I was hoping he would cum all over my face and not let me wash it off till I got home, but I got over excited and thought he was going to cum, so I stopped licking to make sure I was ready, and I ruined everything!! Ugh.  

Oh of course!

JuNO is a conceit where people (I usually see mostly girls and femmes participaitng, for whatever reason - Locktober and NOvember seem to be more popular with men and mascs - but obviously it's not a rule and ANYONE interested should participate!) do not cum for the entire month of June, and often also commit to a specific program of edging - for example, at least three edges per day, or at least two thirty-minute edging sessions, or whatever. It's how I got started with denial in 2020 (hence the name of this blog, which is frankly probably overdue for a change).

I found that having a specific set of goals and responsibilities was really helpful for me, especially as this was my first real intentional engagement with denial. It also (at least in 2020) had a bit of a community feel to it - you weren't going it alone! I'm always happy to be supportive for other people who are in denial, encouraging and teasing and holding each other accountable.

I'm not going to tell anyone who chooses to try out denial in June *how* they have to do it, but for me, three edges per day, and at least two "pushes" to something I normally wouldn't do per week, made it a really fun time for me.

This post is overdue, and I apologize for the delay.  I had a lot to process after what happened, which I’ll explain here.  The good news is, I’m back.

Total hours spent edging in JuNO: about 96:20 Streak: 37 days

The morning of July 9, I woke up at 7:30, and started edging.  I edged through logging onto work.  I edged through work calls.  I opened the curtains and edged.  I skipped a work call to edge.  

And at 10:30, about three hours in, something snapped.

When will JuNO end, nobody knows...

Total hours spend edging in JuNO: about 85:10 Streak: 35 days (100%) Edges to make up still: 4 Days to orgasm: 7 or more

I’ve been holding my Days to Orgasm count at 7, on the theory that if I decide at any point I want to end my denial, I have a seven day “waiting period” for me to decide to reverse the decision.  It won’t be something I can make in the heat of the moment.

I play chess online!  I’m not exactly great, but by no means bad.  I was edging my brain out to intelligence-play porn and took a break.  And went and got into an online rated tournament.

And I thought... .... ... what if I was just stupid now?  Just a minute, what if I just let all the pressure go.  So I made mistakes.  I started edging again.  Every time I made a mistake on purpose, I typed something in chat.  “Oops” “lol i didnt see that” “oh noooo” “oops bimbo moment there.” etc.  It went on for an hour.

I have an obviously female username.  I played under my skill level on purpose, edging myself while I did.  I gagged myself and threw porn up in split-screen with the game of girls drooling while giving oral.  

And then I started to make mistakes not on purpose. 

This isn’t surprising that I wasn’t playing well when I was gagged, drooling, watching porn, and edging.  But I was trying to make mistakes on purpose, and I felt so helpless to start making mistakes by accident before I could do it on purpose.  I felt pathetic.  My hips bucked every time I lost a piece and it stopped mattering whether it was on purpose or not.  I lost 200 rating points by the end of it as I lost 12 games out of a total of 12 games.  

Yes, I’m still doing “Ju”NO.  I’ll explain why.

First, to all of you who reached out and asked how I was doing, thank you so much.  I am not doing great, in terms of my personal situation, but I am keeping up with my denial.

Total hours spent edging in JuNO: about 71:30  Streak: 31 days (100%) Edges to make up still: 4 Days to orgasm: 7 or more

I’m a total sopping mess sometimes, and other times I can’t motivate myself to even turn on the wand.  I’ve edged for almost three full days since my last orgasm, which was 31 days ago.  

I haven’t finished my make-up edges.  For those who don’t remember, I started JuNO late, and had edges to make up.  I decided the “make-up edges” had to be more boundary pushing.  My last one was on my balcony, in a corset and panties, in full view of dozens of apartments (at night).  But I haven’t been able to find four more.  So, my denial goes on until at least then.

I’m also scared to finish denial.  I promised myself my first orgasm after JuNO would be ruined.  I don’t know why I decided this, but I’m scared of it.  I have had *very* few ruined orgasms in my life, and they can be very unpleasant.  I know that’s the point, and I know why I’m doing it.  But it does make me think, every time I’m edging - “I should stop here on the edge like a good girl, because if I go over it will be ruined.”  I really want that first orgasm to be with someone else there.  It will be so much easier to handle if I’m ruining it *for* someone, rather than just doing it to myself.  But for now, the way things are, I don’t really have a chance to do that.

As an update on my latest fun edge: I was talking to a married guy who was really into me.  His wife hadn’t blown him in six years or fucked him at all in three months.  But he was really enjoying my pictures.  We chatted for a while and I ended up making him cum while he listened to a recording of my voice I made of all the things I would do for him behind his wife’s back.

Oh, did I mention he came on his wife’s wedding ring while she slept?  He sent me a video.  And a picture of her wearing it the next day.  So I edged to that.  I like being useful.  And I’m more useful when I’m edged.

Love you all.  Thank you for all the support I have received doing JuNO (and please keep it up!  It’s so much more fun with all of you), and I’m going to try to keep up the postings as I extend my denial.  

My “days to orgasm” will stay at 7 until I finish my make-up edges, at which point it will start ticking down.  If I want to avoid it getting to zero (which I really kind of want to avoid, as it will mean I have to ruin), I have to do another “make-up” edge (something difficult or embarrassing or boundary-pushing) to add four more days of edging, so I can avoid cumming.