#jpuck

Good help is hard to find, Jake, and it's everyone for themselves. Good for them. But shame on you for starting a war with me. I thought you knew better than that.

@thejbi The best dude out there. He got them succulent lips. He cute as fuck, cute as shit. He's not big, but the he's the type of guy you can just look at and know he can keep you warm and every time you go to sleep without him, you just feel empty like... like you're missing something. Like your missing somebody holding you, giving you smooches, giving you hugs... Yeah, gray face. He's the best.

@asksam This man makes money with how hot he is. I don't think I need to go into further detail than that, but he also got succulent lips or as his follows say that gawk gawk 3000.

@kurthq He's super smart and a single mom who works two jobs and loves his kids and never stops. He's got gentle hands and a heart of a fighter. He's a survivor. Oh, plus he gives great cuddles when you're sad.

@asknoahpuck // @jpuck I feel like having to pick between these two is a crime and I'm not going back to jail so. Have you seen these dudes? Have you seen them angry? I have and so I don't need to explain their hotness.

Oh, it goes without saying though, the hottest by far is my girlfriend Dottie Kazatori who doesn't have an account. That's some real hot girl shit.

Just once?

​Maybe twice. It also happened after we danced that scene from Take the Lead, but who can blame me for that?

My dude, @jpuck ? He's kind of an asshole, but the guy has moves. Dottie and I watched him and Britt dance after school once and they're like... Dancing With The Stars good or dancing on stage with Beyoncé good even. He's also a good smoke sesh partner, Sam doesn't know when to pass and Jacob can't clear the chamber unless I help him out and we shotgun it.

❝ Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks? ❞ @jpuck

An immediate grin beams upon the corners of her lips, shaking her head in laughter. "You are so right!" Madison never really thought of dolphins it that way— or dolphins in general. The young cheerleader had been feeling under the weather mentally, so seeing someone like Jake try to humor her made things a bit better. "I would tell you a silly untrue fact but nothing seems to come in mind. Sorry, Jake."

"You know what you need, my good angry sir? Some Mary Jane, she'll keep you right." Brett took his trench coat in hand and displayed the inner workings like he was a shady salesman looking to sell Jake a watch, only his coat was full of joints and blunts (including one that looked like a cross), not timepieces. "So, which one do you want? I'll even give it to you for free because of the misunderstanding earlier." The redhead looked both ways before leaning in and giving the other a wink . "I'll even give you two, if you put in a good word for me joining Duly Noted."

And they'd be right, my dude, but even if you can't be confident, that's why people say "fake it 'til you make it". Confidence is hot, you just can't be too arrogant about it, you know? 'Cause then you're just kind of an asshole.

Jake, Jake, Jake. Sweet prince. The fresh Honeycrisp apple of my eye. I'm highly offended you'd think I'd stoop so low as to steal.

One of my employees recovered it - ethically. But let me break it down for you so you understand: finders keepers, bitch.

Once you leave or throw something out, it becomes public domain. Don't tarnish my name, especially since we share one. You'd think you'd be more delicate with that.