#jeditok

Obi-Wan unwillingly admitted to a Grippy Sock Vacation Center on a fuckass planet who thinks force sensitivity is a mental illness: This is super awkward, I just keep using the force to leave the hospital and getting caught at the space port. Anyone got a ride off planet… fuck what planet is this? Mordan? Yeah, probably Mordan. Anyways, I would ask my actual fucking Jedi order, but I was blocked by the council for sending them thirst traps in the group chat. Anyone got a ride off this planet, I’ll do anyone for it.

Commenter 1: friend, I think you there for more than being force sensitive :/

Commenter 2: I don’t even believe he’s force sensitive, show us something funny mister magic man

Commenter 3: I got a hold of the Jedi council after playing comm hold music for an hour, shockingly the best experience I’ve ever had about being on hold with an organization before, and the Master of the Order told me he blocked all their numbers after a mental breakdown involving a pregnancy scare, still not sure who’s, and left the planet.

Commenter 4: You really just went on to call the temple like that like no big thing just to tell them their knight is off his meds again? 👁️👄👁️

Commenter 3: Master, actually. This man has raised another living being to adulthood and yes, they’re concerned about it too.

Commenter 1: so i was right. He’s battling demons.

Obi-Wan: *23, pregnant with Cal Kestis and eating chicken in bed while looking like he could pop any day now* get ready with me to eat my weight in Mandalorian sweet cake and nuna eggs and complain about my baby daddy-

Quinlan: *sitting up on the other side of the bed, wild bed head and drool on his face* the fuck did I do?

Obi-Wan: other than causing my current mood swings? You didn’t even hold my hand last night while we were coming back from the cafeteria 🙄😒

Quinlan: you said you were too hot and if I touched you you’d kill me?

Obi-Wan: AND WHOS FAULT IS THAT-!?

Quinlan: I don’t fucking know at this point DAMN-

Obi-Wan: *cheeky baby padawan grin at a selfie style video on a wintery planet with Mandalorians behind him, points to Dooku behind him* This is my grandmaster Yan Dooku before he got hit with that speeder.

Dooku: ?????

Jaster: ????

Jango: lol

Obi-Wan: Yeah, Master hasn’t done it yet, but I’ll update you with the aftermath when it happens.

Dooku: Grandpadawan!

Jaster: lmao I like these Jedi

Anakin: Artoo! Why don’t you tell the viewers your favorite activity?

R2D2: *beeps and boops and happy shakes*

Anakin: Artoo… this is my official Jedi channel, I can’t put that on there I let the younglings follow me.

R2D2: *more beeps and boops of offense this time*

Anakin: That’s so uncalled for, and it’ll hurt Obi-Wan’s feelings.

Obi-Wan: *pointing the camera at himself, showing he’s got a black eye, a broken nose and looks like he’s on so many drugs*

Voiceover: im on so many drugs and also have a concussion and asked my commander to bring me tea *camera flip to show Cody*

Cody: *sitting in the chair next to the bed, passionately reading from a data pad*