#spacetok

Obi-Wan unwillingly admitted to a Grippy Sock Vacation Center on a fuckass planet who thinks force sensitivity is a mental illness: This is super awkward, I just keep using the force to leave the hospital and getting caught at the space port. Anyone got a ride off planet… fuck what planet is this? Mordan? Yeah, probably Mordan. Anyways, I would ask my actual fucking Jedi order, but I was blocked by the council for sending them thirst traps in the group chat. Anyone got a ride off this planet, I’ll do anyone for it.

Commenter 1: friend, I think you there for more than being force sensitive :/

Commenter 2: I don’t even believe he’s force sensitive, show us something funny mister magic man

Commenter 3: I got a hold of the Jedi council after playing comm hold music for an hour, shockingly the best experience I’ve ever had about being on hold with an organization before, and the Master of the Order told me he blocked all their numbers after a mental breakdown involving a pregnancy scare, still not sure who’s, and left the planet.

Commenter 4: You really just went on to call the temple like that like no big thing just to tell them their knight is off his meds again? 👁️👄👁️

Commenter 3: Master, actually. This man has raised another living being to adulthood and yes, they’re concerned about it too.

Commenter 1: so i was right. He’s battling demons.

Interviewer: Hi Master Kenobi~

Obi-Wan: Huh… I just realized I’d rather call someone else that title…

Interviewer: *chokes, doubles over trying not to laugh themselves sick* Um, so, that says a lot, I’m not gonna lie. Just rearranged my whole perceptive of you.

Obi-Wan: I know something else of mine you can rearrange~

Interviewer: *nervous gulp* Oh Force, this is going to go WAY too viral. Say goodbye to my clean notification system.

Obi-Wan: Bye-bye, to being clean~

Interviewer: Oh kriff this is why the council told me I shouldn’t be interviewing random Jedi off the streets. Are you all like this?

Obi-Wan: No. I’ve been accused of improper socialization. I did fine in the Mandalorian sector, but that’s probably because I can’t bite through Beskar.

Obi-Wan: *23, pregnant with Cal Kestis and eating chicken in bed while looking like he could pop any day now* get ready with me to eat my weight in Mandalorian sweet cake and nuna eggs and complain about my baby daddy-

Quinlan: *sitting up on the other side of the bed, wild bed head and drool on his face* the fuck did I do?

Obi-Wan: other than causing my current mood swings? You didn’t even hold my hand last night while we were coming back from the cafeteria 🙄😒

Quinlan: you said you were too hot and if I touched you you’d kill me?

Obi-Wan: AND WHOS FAULT IS THAT-!?

Quinlan: I don’t fucking know at this point DAMN-

Cadet Fives-

*camera pans over to a speeder window and a sign attached to it*

Sign: He is fine, he has his favorite snacks and the window is rolled down. He has his favorite music and games.

*camera pans up to look inside the speeder where Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi is intensely focused on a Space Switch (Spitch) with headphones on and surrounded by snack wrappers*