#jeanwrites

~Chapter one~

Writers disclaimer

So I had this idea to write a story where Patton is F2M but wants to have biological children with Roman. I did talk to a friend back home who is F2M and on hormone therapy, and looked up what I could online. Please let it be known this is not meant to hurt anyone, make fun of anyone, or to poke fun at body Dysphoria (I sometimes deal with that myself so I would never try to invalidate someone’s identity) this is just a sweet fluff with a touch of angst I wanted to write to try and push myself as a writer. I am very open to corrections or suggestions, just pm me and I will fix it!! Thanks-Jean

Warning

-slight angst/relationship insecurities

-mention of divorce

-mention of surgery

-mention of body dysphoria

-mention of therapy

Patton paced nervously across the apartment floor, picking his nails and scuffing his feet. Roman would be home from rehearsals any minute and Patton had to talk to him, though he was terrified to do so. The couple had been together since Patton was Alice. Roman has helped him through so much, helped him come out to his family, bought him his first Binder, and even took time off work to be there when Patton had his Top surgery done. He had shared Patton’s fear when it was time to start Hormone therapy, and shared in his joy when his voice started to drop. He had shown him how to shave without cutting himself when he started to get too much facial hair.

After three years of uphill battles, and talking to his husband about there future, he wanted a family. Him and Ro had talked about adopting many times, and while Patton loved the idea of being a Foster home, he wanted more than that.

As the keys rattled in the lock, Patton stopped, took in a sharp breath, and waited for his Husband to come inside.

“He sweetheart I am home, sorry I am late, I stopped to get stuff for us to make spaghetti tonight.......are you ok?” Roman said as he closed the door and noticed Patton standing in the arch, rigid, and clammy. He put the bags down on the ground and rushed over to Patton. “Pat love, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” Slight panic in his voice.

“Yes Ro, I am ok. But I want to talk to you about something.....can you come sit down please?” Patton took Roman’s hand, leading him to the living room sofa.

Romans heart sunk in his chest. He was afraid of what Patton had to say. He was afraid this was the end, Patton was almost never this serious unless something was upsetting him.

As the sat, Patton took in a deep breath “ok so I have been thinking a lot lately...” he said putting his hands on Romans knees, holding his hands.

Roman cut him off with tears in his eyes “please, just say it, don’t drag this out. My heart can’t handle it. I’ll leave tonight if that’s what you want, I know I haven’t been here much with the play, and I am so sorry. But I guess....”

Patton put a finger up to Romans mouth, shushing him mid rant. “I am not leaving you my love, take a breath.”

Roman took in a breath of relief, and wiped away his tears. “Well then what’s wrong? I can tell when something is wrong love.”

Patton sighed. “I promise I am ok, I am just nervous, but I am also hopeful. I have been giving a lot of thought to the talks we have had lately, and I too, want children. I want a family with you.”

Romans jaw dropped, tears welled up in his eyes. “oh my....ok!” He said excitedly “I have a few adoption agencies in mind, we also need to decide how far we can travel to adopt if need be, and we should....”

“No my love, I want US to start a family, you and I.” Patton said “I love you, and you have supported me through so much. You also only see Patton, your Husband, and for that I love you. But if you remember....I still have yet to have my bottom surgery yet.”

Realization came across Romans face. This was not at all what he was expecting.

“I have already talked with my Doctor, he says if I stop my hormone therapy now, we should be able to start trying in a few months time. And even if not, we can at that point find an egg donor.....”

He looked at Roman, nervously waiting for a response. Roman just sat there, jaw still ajar for a moment.

“Patton my love, are you sure? I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. And this is a BIG deal. Your body will change drastically yet again, and you will more than likely suffer severe body dysphoria and depression as a pregnancy changes you in many ways. And there are also many people in the world who will not be ok with this, they may be harmful....”

Patton just smiled “my love, I know. But this is what I want. We have made it through so much already, we can get through this together. But I want our child to be half of both of us, and this is the best way to ensure that happens. Plus I don’t care what anyone else thinks, the only thing that matters to me is us, and having a family.”

Roman smiled a huge smile, hugged Patton tightly, and said “well, then I guess we are going to start a family.”

Patton giggled “oh my, Picani is going to LOVE this.”

Also I was wondering if your gonna update it soon? I don't want to pressure you or anything ofc :3

EVERYBODY GO READ "it's funny you should ask (because I dont remember)" RIGHT NEOW

ahsjdkfk I'm so glad you liked it! Also don't worry I wouldn't have put my tumblr username in the notes of the fic if I didn't want ppl coming here from it tehe :]

It'll probably be a hot sec till I finish the second chapter, yall's nice comments have given me a lot of motivation, but I wanna take my time with it, and this is my first time writing anything with multiple chapters, so I have no idea how long it'll take lol. The first chapter took me like 3 months, so definitely a lot faster than that!

I had no idea that Koji Suzuki had written a 5th book in the Ring saga but now I have S//ES and I feel just as I did while reading the very first book. I’ve only been reading for 2 days and I’m already 68% finished with it.

In other news, I’m going to be looking at my schedule so I can try and work some more on writing book reviews (since I have a ton to write up) as well as working more on the second drafts of the Aces High trilogy. I’ve been wanting to do some writing, but there was a medical emergency in our house, so I’ve had to devote most of my time to that. I’ve also decided that, though the story is technically finished, I think I might write a book about the events following the end of book 3 for AH. I can’t go into too many details right now since they’ll contain spoilers, but I am pretty excited to get to that point :)

I do apologize for the lack of reviews these past few weeks. This past week was a bad mental health week, the week before I was knee deep in cleaning, and the week before that I was preparing for a funeral.

Before the clock turns over on today, I wanted to post this for you guys.

We did it. We hit 50k words. A goal that I had lost faith in after not writing for a week, in just the last few days alone we were able to crawl out of the gutters and get things together. And yes, you’re seeing that number correctly. 10,231 words JUST TODAY.

But something’s missing, right? That’s right, the purple “winner”bar by our total word count. I have yet to validate our word count simply because Full House is not yet finished. I am very close to the end and have decided to wait to validate until then.