#jaytimweek2020

You have something to tell me?

 During the first weeks Jason spent at Wayne Manor, right after he had been picked up directly from Crime Alley, he learned something important: It was difficult to hide things from a good detective.

 By a good detective, he meant Alfred, of course. Because at those times Bruce was a mess and was too busy panicking to have adopted another child. Really, the millionaire couldn't pay attention to when he was sneaking, smoking, stealing food, and hiding provisions along with money in case he had to flee at any time.

Anyway, he knew the man was trying to find a way to do things correctly with him, since he was a child of the street, with a difficult life, and totally different from the ray of the sun that turned out to be his first pupil, Dick.

 Of course, he didn't know that at the time. All he was aware of was that he now lived in a mansion and the butler there knew everything. Everything. No matter what he did, how he hid, or how he lied, Alfred always knew it, he always ended up finding out sooner or later. The first few times he was even scared.

 For this reason, he ended up learning that lesson. You couldn’t fool a good detective, because in the end they always ended up finding out whether by chance or not.

 He should have had that in mind during his adult life as well, especially when he did what he did. Because it would have saved him from some trouble, and he would have gotten away with it.

 That day he came home early, in a very good mood and wearing a slight smile. It was noon, and he had finished some duties, the patrol that night had been quiet, everything was going well, and his boyfriend had the day off.

 His boyfriend. His Timmy, his little detective.

 Against everything -and after several talks from absolutely his entire family- his relationship with Tim was going very well, better than anyone could have never thought. And contrary to what some people wanted to believe, Jason didn’t meet Tim as a GCPD detective, no, he was the pretty boy who lived in the neighborhood that greeted him with a cute smile, and stopped at the 24-hour coffee shop too often to be healthy. His surprise was even alarming when one night he showed up with Batman for a joint case on the police station rooftop and Jim Gordon was there with the force’s new promise: Detective Tim Drake.

As expected, just as that smile and pretty face dazzled Jason the first time he saw him in the cafe, so did his intelligence and professionalism in helping them with the case. So, days later, when Tim approached him shyly and asked him to have coffee together, how could he say no?

 He was crushing on him back then. And now, two years later, he still was.

 “Timmy.” He called him fondly as he entered the apartment they shared. “I'm back.”

 Walking down the hall, Jason looked around the kitchen and then headed to the living room. He didn't know if Tim was still asleep, but he wouldn't blame him if he did, his little bird worked too hard and sometimes didn't rest properly. Although it isn’t as if he was the most appropriate example of this considering his night activities, or night work, according to the version Tim knew.

 Even he didn't know how he had managed to hide his life as a vigilante from his partner for so long, but he couldn't continue doing it. As much as he feared for his safety or his reaction, it was a part of his life that he could no longer hide, and the more time passed, the worse the consequences.

 Just when he found Tim in the living room, he began to fear that these consequences had come sooner than expected.

 “Babybird.” He called him again.

 No answer.

 Tim was sitting at the end of the sofa, his feet up on it and curled up on himself, his arms were crossed, he was watching at the television turned off completely silent and thoughtful. His hands clenched into fists didn’t loosen, his nose was red and his eyes were watery, he seemed angry, sad, upset.

Jason's chest sank in concern, immediately closed in on the boy. Tim didn’t usually respond in a particularly emotional way to many things, he generally liked to compartmentalize unless it affected him a lot, the times when he had seen him crying had been at times like the anniversary of his parent’s death, for example.

 “Tim?” He asked somewhat alarmed.

 However, when he reached out to comfort him and lifted his hand to touch him, perhaps caress his hair in the way he knew it would relax him, he pulled away immediately, startled, surely he had been too deep in his own head to realize he had arrived.

A bad feeling began to invade him when he frowned and moved further away from his touch, clenching his fists. He knew that face, that sparkle in his eyes, he was angry, specifically with him. But at the same time his eyes were still watery and shone with disappointment, anguish.

 “What happened?” He asked again nervously.

 Tim frowned further and shrugged.

 “Don’t know. Tell me.”

 That reply was a confirmation that he was angry with him. Why? Well, based on the answer and the tone in which it was said, he might have discovered something that he didn't like at all, that would have hurt him, and Jason didn't have to think much to know what it was.

 “What?” He asked uselessly.

 Tim’s lower lip trembled for a second, but he controlled that to stop clinging to himself and getting his feet off the couch.

 “You have something to tell me, Jason?”

 Jason's alarms went off even, much louder. It was clear what was going on, Tim had figured it all out on his own.

He knew it, he knew it. God how had he been so stupid? He was dating one of the best GCPD detectives, one of the younger to join the force, with an outstanding record and the smartest person he knew. Fuck, even Batman praised the boy's ability, they had worked together on cases, that intelligence and audacity were scary, and that was what he most liked about him. Timothy was like a hound, stubborn and determined, he never gave up until he found the truth, and that was something he highly valued. If he felt that his boyfriend wasn’t being completely honest with him, of course he was going to investigate, of course he wanted to know. And having worked with the bats, being so close to him and having the necessary means, it was no wonder that he could have easily tied the dots.

 He couldn't lie to him, not anymore. He also didn’t like to do it before, the only reason he did it was because he knew it was for the best. Tim had thrown a light into his life that he never thought he could -or deserved to- have, a feeling of normality and affection that helped him improve and not be a fucking unconscious fucker. But he knew that part of his life was dangerous, dark and crazy. The proof was in his scars and nightmares, in his traumas and fears, those that Tim helped calm and never asked about. The fact that he didn’t know, kept him away from the danger that he was so afraid of could reach him, but he also worked with bats, was in the first ranks of the GCPD, and that made him join the risk.

He had no choice, besides, how could he continue to lie to him when he was there, half crying, begging him the truth and piercing his soul with those big blue eyes? Seriously, he wasn't surprised that the suspects sang so quickly with him, the boy was all eyes and pretty face.

 Jason sighed and sat down on the couch next to him, his heart beating hard and guilt devouring him. He never thought he would have to reveal his secret to someone out loud, not to a civilian, but he also never imagined caring about someone enough to do so. He looked Tim in the eye and took a deep breath:

 “Okay, it sounds like you already know, but you deserve to be told.” He said with a nod.

 Tim sniffed, looking nervously into his eyes, hurt, but let him continue. Jason swallowed and knew there was no other way out.

 “I’m Red Hood.”

 Silence.

 Tim didn’t move, didn’t react, and Jay exhaled altered. It wasn't enough, was it? It wasn’t.

 “I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.” He continued. “But I couldn't, seriously. It was too dangerous.”

 He looked for any trace of a single reaction on his face but didn’t find it. He just stood there, looking at him silently and thoughtfully. Which made him even more nervous.

 “I know you’re in the GCPD and we’ve worked together, but I didn't want to get you much more involved.”

 Still silent.

 “I pissed people off very dangerous, horrible villains, it’s a world you don't want to get into.”

 “…”

 “You have to believe me. If it were up to me, I would have told you a long time ago, but the more time passed the worse the secret became.”

 “…”

 “I constantly face undesirable people and you would be a very easy target.”

 “Jason.”

 By the time Tim whispered his name, the dam had broken, and he couldn't stop babbling, thinking aloud about everything that he had been holding back.

 “I know it sounds selfish, but it’s not just up to me and there’s a reason we keep civilians out of that life. Fuck, if you knew...”

 “Jason.”

 “It's a fucking hell and it killed me; I couldn't risk you.”

 “Jason.”

 “I know I've broken your trust but...”

 “Jason!” Tim interrupted, weary and leaning down to meet his eyes fiercely. “I knew it.”

 It took him three seconds to assimilate that, causing him to freeze and the confusion nullify him.

 What the fuck?

 “Eh?” He asked confused.

 “I knew it.” The smallest repeated, huffing and crossing his arms. “I’ve always known that.”

 What the actual fuck?

 Tim had to see the chaos and mess that was his head at the time on his face, because he huffed harder and shook his head, totally exasperated.

 “Jason, I'm not stupid.” He emphasized with a frown and raised his hands to point to the apartment. “This place is reinforced everywhere with bat technology.”

 He didn’t know what to say, because that was a good point.

 “You hide a gun in the cereal cupboard and...” Sighing and reaching into one of the holes in the sofa, he pulled out one of the rubber bullets that Red Hood used and had been there for who knows how long. “This! There are rubber bullets everywhere. Bullets I've seen you use.”

 Okay, so he might like to hide guns in certain parts of the place for extra security. And maybe he was a little sloppy with his bullets sometimes.

 “You have the same boots, pants and jacket in your closet. I even found your helmet once!”

 The excuse it was from a Halloween costume may not have been as convincing as he believed.

 “You speak the same way, you move the same way, you have the same height and constitution.” Tim continued listing. “Even the first night you saw me as Red Hood, you flirted with me.”

 He did?

 Maybe yes.

 “I knew it from the beginning and still accepted it. I knew the reason you were hiding it and I respected your decision to not tell me until you saw necessary.” Again, Tim began to look distraught, his eyes watering again. “But that's not what I was talking about.”

 Confusion arose again for something quite different. Because if Tim, his intelligent and precious detective, had known and accepted his other life from the beginning, what was going on? Why was he angry?

 “Then what were you talking about?” He asked fearfully, again the bad feeling settling in his being.

 Tim hesitated, shifted in his seat, and his lower lip trembled again, looking much more distressed than before, about to burst into tears.

 “I'm talking about you spending Saturday night at a 5-star hotel. Enjoying the restaurant and the suite for couples with another person.” He said and barely tried to control his voice. “The bank has reported recent suspicious movements on your card, when I asked half an hour ago it took me to the hotel, which asked for your assessment of your stay there and confirmation of another reservation this week.”

 Tim’s voice broke at the end and Jason started to panic much more than before.

Shit, shit, fuck, shit.

 “Tim this isn't-”

 “What it looks like?” He cut him off, trying to compose himself. “So, what is it?”

 Jason rubbed his eyes nervously. It really wasn't what it seemed, dammit. He knew what Tim was thinking, what anyone would think, and he understood his reaction. But he would never cheat on Tim, not like that, not feeling what he feels for him, not wanting to...

 “I know what you think but-”

 “But what? What should I think?” He asked again, his hands shaking.

 It was clear that he had cried, and he was trying not to do it again at this moment, the way he was getting more upset indicated that, he wanted to stay strong. And Jason didn’t know what to do, because he couldn’t deny anything and couldn’t explain it the way he wanted without making it seem even more suspicious, he knew that Tim’s self-esteem problems didn’t help the situation at all, he was among the sword and wall.

 “I went there, but not for what you think.” He began to explain, also nervous.

 Tim ended up getting off the couch, shaking his head vigorously and pacing in front of the living room table, like a caged lion.

 “With whom?” He asked then, almost in pain. “Nightwing?”

 “Wh-”

 “Arsenal?”

 “No!”

 “Starfire?”

 There he said nothing. About his brother and his best friend, he could deny it, but not with Kory. He went to the hotel and the restaurant with her, it was true, but not as more than friends. What’s more, he didn't even spend the night there, leaving the Tamaranian woman alone in the suite with one of Bruce’s credit cards to do whatever she wanted while he left on patrol and then returned home.

But Tim didn't know that, all he had was that brief silence on his part that told him he was correct, and that immediately broke him when he understood.

 Turning around, Tim rushed down the hall to their room, letting out a sob and not stopping to look back. Jason followed him without hesitation, frantic, guilt hitting him more and more along with the fear of losing him.

 “Tim!” He called him. “Listen to me, please!”

 They entered the room, Tim going straight to the closet and searching through his clothes. He knew what he was doing, he wanted to get his things and leave as soon as possible, he didn't want to be there to break even more, but Jason couldn't allow it.

 “We didn't spend the night together!” He explained grabbing the closet door and trying to get him away from there. “It’s not what you think.”

 Tim shook his head and rubbed his eyes, his breathing uneven, with no choice but to let him close the closet as he sobbed.

 “No, Jason, I get it.” He started to say. “It’s heroes’ stuff, I get it…”

 “What?” He asked confused. What was he talking about? Heroes stuff?

 “S-She’s a hero. Fuck, is Starfire, and I'm just a civilian...” He continued saying as he looked at the ground, almost looking resigned. “She can understand things that I don't, understand you on a level that I can't, and you don't have to lie to her or pretend to be anything else with her.”

 Jason opened his mouth and then closed it, stunned. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, it was surreal.

It was true, most of the heroes ended up dating others in the community, but it didn’t always have to be like that. Secret identities, lies, and danger often ruin relationships with civilians, but other times, if you wanted to, they could work. Damn, the fucking Superman had a family with Lois Lane, also Flash, many others, he was not exactly lacking examples.

And Tim thinking for a single second that he couldn’t make him happy for not understanding that part of his life, compared to other people, not only hurt him, it made him angry. If he knew how much he had helped him, how much his life had changed, how happy he made him…

 “So, it’s okay. Don't worry, I really understand.” Tim continued, even in that resigned and sad tone. “I'm sorry I wasted your time...”

 That was the drop that filled the glass.

 Tim saying something like that, crying in front of him and saying that he understood it despite how much it hurt him, broke him inside. And that he really believed as a result of all this that he hadn’t been able to make him happy, that those two years together had been a lost time and not the best in Jason’s life, made him make the decision to send everything to hell and act. Fuck everything.

 As Tim tried to hold back his tears and dry the ones that ran down his face, he silently approached his nightstand to pull out what he had been hiding for months, then turned back to him, determined.

 “Tim, listen to me.” He started to say as he approached him again. The younger didn’t dare look at him. “I invited Kory to those places because I needed to know her opinion about them. She’s one of my best friends and the person with the best criteria I know about that kind of things, but we couldn't access there without a reservation, so I had to take her.”

 Tim sniffed again and the tension in his shoulders eased a little, he seemed to be listening intently, almost hopefully.

 “I didn’t spend the night there; I was on patrol. You can check it, I faced Mr. Freeze in the town hall square, there are videos and reports about it. And if that’s not enough and you don’t believe me now, you can ask Starfire personally later.” He explained getting closer, surrounding the bed, and placing himself in front of him. “The thing is, I did all that behind your back because I really needed her advice and help.”

 Tim rubbed his eyes, still without looking at him.

 “For what?” He asked in that weak, broken voice.

 “Look at me.”

 What Tim saw when he finally dared to look up, was Jason kneeling in front of him and showing him an engagement ring.

 “Timothy Jackson Drake, do you want to marry me?”

 Time seemed to stop completely; Tim's eyes couldn’t open more because of the impression. Jason swallowed hard and buried his nervousness to continue speaking.

 “I’ve been wanting to ask you for months, but I really didn’t know how. I don't care if you are a civilian or not, I love you and I wanted it to be a surprise, something special.” He sighed somewhat agitated, the uncertainty at his answer was too much. “I no longer have to reveal why, but in my life I have learned that I must cling and keep by my side everything that makes me happy for as long as I can, and my happiness is you. So, what do you say?”

 Tim was still frozen, stunned because all the information he had to assimilate. Not only because Jason had not cheated on him as he thought, but he had been planning how to propose to him. He was thinking he didn’t want to be with him and then he just discovered that he wanted to spend their lives together, it was too sudden.

But despite having to go from one extreme to the other so quickly, Tim seemed to assimilate at last when those tears turned into ones of happiness and a smile began to grow on his face.

 “Yes.” He replied with a sigh of relief. “Yes, I do.”

 Jason couldn't help but smile too, happiness flooding him completely, his answer echoing in his head and brightening every part of his being. It didn't take him long to get up to catch him and hold him tight, both of them letting out a relieved laughter. Words weren’t enough.

The tallest wiped the tears of his now fiancé, with affection and devotion.

 “I should have thought how difficult is to hide something from a detective.” He said placing a lock of his hair behind his ear. “And this time you didn't even have to do much to discover me.”

 Tim smiled and shrugged, his eyes shining with love and relief. Almost seemed that he was going to cry again when he grabbed his hand and put the ring on him carefully. Jason's heart squeezed at the sight because it fit him perfectly, and it was his, all his, forever.