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Inktober Day 9: Heavy
In Which Jask is Disgruntled And I Can't Draw Arms
Rhys (or someone) asked to pick him up and he can't very well say no right now, but he doesn't have to pretend this isn't an affront to his dignity and his fat fluffy little tummy.
I feel like he doesn't look like he's that heavy, but he's very Dense, kinda like Stitch in the OG movie, and so much harder to pick up than he appears.
has anyone done a Witcher au where they're playing dnd together and romancing each other's PCs?? bc that's very much on my mind right now & I might even write it some day
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As Kabbu's birthday rolls around, the internet turns pink, and people talk about "love" and "romance" and other things like that. Very ironic, considering the man is aroace, but in accordance with the season, we have assembled some very viable bachelors to... date, probably. Dating profiles below the cut, but you can choose from cliff notes if you want, we guess, this is just so the post isn't ABSURDLY long.
Who would you date?
Bau (frat boy/golden retriever hybrid who also happens to be a bandit)
Jask (bandit again but this date will be at the medical supply store)
Zoza (also a bandit. tax filing but romantic. maybe.)
Marigold (bugaria's most trustworthy charmsmith)
Agapanthus (don't worry about it you probably signed a waiver)
ZM-32 (fungus & extremely eligible bachelor)
Chips (gambler & unpaid mantis snack)
ZB-162 (depressed switchboard operator)
The Wraith (crime lord...???)
Marble (unemployed due to safety violations)
Unit of Radioactive Decay (remote research station)
L2tM & Enot (banned from the polls)
Voting ended onFeb 15, 2024
Bau (short for Bauplan) - They/any - Dune Cricket - 18-21 (varies based on fic, generally tied to Vi's age) - Bi/pan
When it comes to a date, you can't do better than Bau! Though dune crickets are normally more than a bit antisocial (and cannibalistic), Bau is an exception! Terminally friendly, great at parties, and unendingly loyal - they'll do anything for a friend, and if you can get friendly with them, they'll be more than happy to date if you ever pop the question! You'll have to compete with other friends, of course - not to mention other partners, and their criminal entanglements as a Bandit that often operates as an intimidation detail but really, is it that much of a downside?
Jask - He/they - Ashy gray lady beetle - Late 20s - Gray-ace
If you want level-headed, Jask is your bug! A bandit medic with years of expence under his belt, Jask is well experienced with taking care even the most dangerous of bugs - his boss, for example. Sure, he's a bit busy with patients - but there's a tender heart hiding under that tough exterior. You just have to stick around for... what, five months? Ten?
...more?
...you'll figure it out, we're sure.
Zoza - Whatever the bandits come up with that isn't immediately veto'd (usually she/her) - Damselfly - 70+ - None of your business
The Bandits' second-in-command, a feisty old damselfly with more than a few tricks up her sleeve. She's a bit old to be dating around like you young'uns, but this old woman can still be a loving partner - prove you can contribute to the Bandits, prove that you're strong enough to not die horribly on your first outing, and manage to build enough of a rapport with her despite her many, many vital duties, and you might have a chance... if you're into grandmothers, of course.
(...is GILF a thing? GMILF? Hold on, we need to do some research...)
Marigold - She/her - Death's Head Hawk Moth - 30s - Married to her job
The most eligable bachelor on this list by far, judging by how people have reacted to her! Marigold is a charmsmith with a good, stable job, a good, stable personality, and only a little bit of active torture going on in her basement! We, uhh... aren't entirely sure how you're planning on getting her out of her lab and into the dating scene, seeing as she hasn't really been anywhere near the zone of "dating" since she was... what, sixteen? But we're sure you can figure it out.
Agapanthus - Variable (genderfluid) - Orchid mantis - Older than you'd think - Pan
A waiter(and sometimes waitress) at Club Maenad, this mantis knows exactly how to show you a good time. Charming and attractive, even if they've been banned from bartending for the forseeable future, and flexible for nearly anything you might need in a partner, if you slip in the right compliments between rounds, you might very well have a shot! Just... keep in mind the waiver you signed at the door, and please remember that this is a bar for parasitoids and bugs of species prone to eating their mates.
Bugaria's most eligable bachelor! Everyone wants a piece of this, and for good reason! It'll be fierce competition, but maybe, just maybe, if you can evade the deadly lasers and circumvent the persistent hatred for the living that tormented it and its colony for years on end... you could win its heart.
Chips - He/they - Two-striped grasshopper - ??? - Has Better Things To Worry About
Green is in this year - and so are grasshoppers. This one is dateable! Probably. Just be sure to cosy up with him before his gambling debts do, or he might get eaten by a large praying mantis before you get the chance.
...are you into responsible bugs? Are you into fungi? Do you enjoy dating people who are preoccupied with regulating and operating the communication network used by an entire cordyceps colony? Well, ZB-162 might be the bug for you? Though, uhh, often occupied with its job, ZB-162 is a fine specimen of the cordyceps species, and certainly very attractive if you... if you...
...okay, we won't lie to you, this one's a bit of a fixer-upper. Not sure how you're going to drag them away from the communication channels long enough for
The Wraith - ??? - ???????????? - Reported active since Elizant 1's reign - ???????????
Mysterious figure from the Ant Kingdom's criminal underbelly. Married, but you can still shoot your shot, we guess...???
Marble - she/they - Wasp - late 20s - It's In There
…didn't this one get blown up? We're pretty sure this one got blown up. If you pick this one, you have to take mandatory bomb safety courses, we think.
Unit of Radioactive Decay - They/it - Iterator - First activated in late Gen 1 era - Aroace
This is... a building, but you can still give it a try, we guess? Honestly, we have no clue how you found this one. We're pretty sure it's not even a bug.
L2tM & Enot - Any u can call us anything u want bb <3 - Former iterator & karmic wyrm slugcats - Gen 1 & ageless wouldnt u like to know - yes
Why are you two here?! Get out of our fucking poll!!!
