#jamescortis

James x reader , 4.6k , fluff , angst ,

Whereas James and y/n has been friends for years and been in the on and off “not so friend” relationship. Not lover just crossing boundaries until one day James can’t help it but ask “what are we” .

Y/N never understood how someone could slip so quietly into their life and then become impossible to take out. But that was exactly how James arrived — soft, steady, and confusing in a way that made Y/N’s chest hurt.

They weren’t dating.Everyone knew that.

Not dating.Just… something.

Something that looked dangerously close to love.

James never pushed labels, never asked for more, never demanded clarity. He simply stayed , showing up when Y/N called, waiting when Y/N disappeared, laughing at their dry humor, gifting them tiny things that “reminded me of you.”

It was a situationship built on smiles, crossed boundaries, accidental confessions masked as jokes, and kisses that lingered too long to be “friendly” , foreheads kisses that doesn’t seems so “friendly”.

And Y/N… well, Y/N’s specialty was self-sabotage.They were good at ruining things before they became real.,

The rain that afternoon fell in thin, steady lines . soft enough that the world looked blurred through the café window. Y/N sat with a lukewarm drink, fingers tapping against the cup, their heart tightening each time the door chimed.

When James finally appeared, hair damp from the weather and hoodie clinging slightly to his shoulders, the entire room seemed to shift, like someone had dialed the lighting a bit warmer. Or just feel safe .

“Hey,” he said softly, dropping into the seat across from them with that familiar gentleness that always felt like a question and an answer at the same time. “You look tired. Bad night?”

Y/N shrugged. “Just… thinking too much, maybe.”

James let out a little hum of concern before pulling something from his bag ,a small, carefully wrapped box.He slid it across the table.

Y/N blinked. “James… what is this?”

“It’s nothing big,” he said, looking almost embarrassed. “I just saw it and thought of you.”

Inside was a silver bracelet, thin and elegant, with a tiny star charm that glimmered softly in the café light.It wasn’t expensive, but it was thoughtful — too thoughtful.

Mainly it was silver . Y/n has always been a silver girl but no one really notice ..except James , her not so friend James.

Y/N’s chest tightened. “James… you don’t have to give me things like this.”

“I know I don’t have to,” he replied quietly. “But I wanted to and it was in silver!” He smile brightly . Y/n heartbeat skipped but she will acted like it was her low iron.

His voice was sincere, calm, completely sure of itself in a way Y/N had never been.

It made the fear rise like a tide .the fear of letting someone love them too deeply, the fear of hurting him, the fear of ruining a good thing before it became real.

“James,” Y/N murmured, unable to meet his eyes, “you’re… making this harder.”

His expression flickered. “Harder how?”

Y/N shook their head. “Just… complicated.”

James smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile — it was one that tried to look okay even though something inside him was shifting.He didn’t argue. He never argued.

He simply said, “Okay. If that’s what you feel but yk friends also buy gifts for each other “

And somehow, that made the guilt feel sharper.

Their undefined connection had a way of slipping into places it shouldn’t — like the nights Y/N texted him past midnight, exhausted from their own thoughts, unsure why their fingers typed his name first.

You up?

My rooftop.

In 20 please James .

He arrived in twenty minutes despite the cold, hoodie half-zipped, hair messy, eyes still soft with sleep yet full of concern.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” he murmured, shrugging off his jacket and settling it over Y/N’s shoulders with a tenderness that made it hard to breathe. “You could’ve told me you needed someone.”

“I… did,” Y/N said quietly. “You’re here.”

And there it was again — that brief pause in his breath, the softening in his eyes, the unspoken “I’d come anywhere if you asked.”

They talked about nothing — school, music, random thoughts — yet every moment felt heavy with things neither of them dared to say.

At some point, without thinking, Y/N leaned into him, their head brushing his shoulder, their body relaxing in a way it only did around him.

James stilled for a second, as if savoring the closeness, then wrapped an arm around them with the utmost care, like he was holding something fragile and precious.

“I like being with you,” Y/N murmured before they could stop themselves — a soft confession disguised as a casual comment.

James’s breath caught — a barely-there sound, but enough to reveal everything he felt.

“I like being the one you call,” he whispered back, voice low, steady, terrified.

Something pulled them together — a gravity they had been fighting for weeks, maybe months. When Y/N lifted their head, the space between them felt electric, delicate, inevitable.

The kiss that followed wasn’t reckless or unplanned — it was soft with a little hint of harsh , lingering, full of meaning that neither of them were ready to name. And it has always been like that , hundreds of kisses and heavy breath shared with no label just friends .

And when they separated, hearts racing, heavy breathing ,Y/N’s mind spiraled into fear before they could think.

“James… we’re not… we’re not together. You shouldn’t—”

“Why not? , u always kiss me . Before going out , before exams , after exams and -“ he whispered.

“We’re not anything.” Y/n cut him off.

The way his eyes dimmed — the way he swallowed, the way he nodded slowly — carved itself into Y/N’s memory.

“Right,” he said quietly. “If that’s how you see it.”

But the wound in his voice stayed long after the night ended.

But there is a question in his mind .The Question He Couldn’t Hold Back Anymore

Their situationship continued, but something invisible lingered between them — a tension, a hesitation, a quiet sadness that James tried to hide but couldn’t fully mask.

Sometimes it’s all giggle and movie time at jame’s and shares kisses while baking or maybe at y/n’s place doing project together but end up cuddling on the floor .

And sometimes it’s awkward silence in classroom , shared glances with no words and bland “okay”.

Y/N disappeared for days at a time, overwhelmed by fear, guilt, and the constant voice in their head saying they would ruin everything by choosing it.

James never spammed.Never demanded.Never blamed.

Just one worried message:

Are you okay?

Then silence — the kind filled with all the patience he could gather, even when it hurt.

When Y/N finally returned to school, she found James waiting near the courtyard fence, arms crossed, face drained of sleep and emotion.

“Where were you?” he asked softly, eyes searching theirs with a mixture of relief and hurt. “You vanished without a word.”

“I needed space,” Y/N mumbled.

“You always do,” he replied, not in anger, but in quiet exhaustion. “

And I always give it to you. But you come back like nothing happened, and I don’t know how to keep pretending it doesn’t affect me.”

“Are you… mad?” Y/N whispered.

“No,” he said after a long breath. “I’m just… tired. Tired of wondering where I stand. Tired of being close enough to hope, but not close enough for you to choose me.”

Y/N’s chest tightened painfully. “James, I just… don’t know what we are.”

He nodded, lips pressed together.

There was no bitterness — just heartbreak he tried and failed to hide.

“Y/N,” he murmured, “what are we?”

Y/N’s silence answered for them.

And something inside James finally gave way.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he said, voice trembling. “I can’t keep giving you all of me while you call it nothing. I want you, but I can’t keep breaking my own heart waiting for you to want me back.”

“No , James it’s just I need time and …” y/n whisper.

“ Time? It has been ages y/n . The shared kisses the giggles and the love in ur eyes when u look at me …and still “I don’t know” from u . I want you I love you please y/n”

Y/n didn’t answered .

He turned.

Walked away.

Didn’t look back.

And Y/N felt something inside them collapse under the weight of everything they never said.

Three days passed — painfully, slowly, heavily.

No texts from him.No soft laughter in the hallways.No gentle teasing, no little gifts, no warm presence at Y/N’s side. No forehead kisses . No fighting while cooking.

The absence was a cold, echoing thing.

It made every excuse Y/N once used to avoid the label feel shallow and flimsy.

Because the truth was suddenly undeniable:

Life without James felt wrong.

On the fourth day, with their nerves shaking and eyes stinging from restless nights, Y/N found him in the school garden — sitting on the stone bench he always waited on, looking exhausted, thumb scrolling through his phone without really seeing anything.

Y/N approached slowly. “James?”

He looked up.

The softness in his eyes appeared instantly, but then faded just as quickly, replaced by caution — the kind he had never needed around Y/N until now.

“Hey,” he said, voice gentle but guarded.

“Can we talk?” Y/N asked.

He didn’t answer.But he didn’t leave either.So Y/N sat beside him, breath trembling as words pressed against their throat.

“I didn’t answer because I got scared,” she began quietly. “Not because you didn’t mean anything.”

James’s shoulders tensed ever so slightly.

“I know I hurt you,” Y/N continued. “I know I keep pushing you away and then reaching for you again. I know it’s unfair. I know it’s confusing. I know I make it impossible for you to know what I feel.”

He still didn’t look at her.

The silence made Y/N’s voice break.

“But the truth is… the reason I kept avoiding the label is because I knew the moment I said it, I wouldn’t be able to hide how much I actually care about you. And I thought… if you saw how much I cared, you’d realize I wasn’t someone worth staying for.”

James inhaled sharply — a quiet, hurt sound. And a quiet sob.

Y/N turned toward him, eyes wet.

“James… I love you. That’s why I kept running. Not because I didn’t want you — but because wanting you so much scared me.”

Finally, finally… James looked at them.

And his voice cracked.

“You… love me?”

Y/N nodded, tears slipping down.

“I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I was just too scared to call it what it was.”

The tension in his shoulders melted, replaced by disbelief, relief, trembling hope.

He reached forward slowly, as if afraid touching them might make the moment disappear, and placed a hand on their cheek — warm, gentle, shaking.

“I waited for so long to hear that,” he whispered, thumb brushing their skin as his eyes filled slightly. “I kept hoping… praying that maybe you felt something too. I knew what he had wasn’t just casual…”

“I do,” Y/N whispered. “I feel everything. And I want you. All of you. Not halfway, not almost, not sometimes. I want us.”

James exhaled shakily — a breath that sounded like release, like the ending of a long ache.

“Then be mine,” he murmured. “Not in-between. Not undefined. Be with me for real.”

“I want that,” Y/N said, voice steady for the first time. “I want to be yours. Completely.”

James laughed — a quiet, trembling sound full of disbelief and joy — before pulling them into his arms, holding them tightly, securely, as if afraid they might disappear again.

When they pulled back, he rested his forehead against theirs.

“So… you’re mine now?” he whispered with a soft smile.

Y/N nodded.

“If you’ll have me.”

He cupped her face again, gaze soft and full of months of restraint finally breaking open.

“I’ve always had you,” he said.

And when he leaned in and kissed them, it wasn’t like the scattered, hesitant kisses or rush kisses from before.It was slow, sure, certain — the kind of kiss that carried the weight of everything they had overcome and everything they were choosing now.

When they parted, Y/N felt light in a way they hadn’t in months.

James squeezed her hand — firm, warm, unwavering.

“I’m your boyfriend,” he said.

“And I’m not running anymore,” Y/N promised.

And for the first time, saying it felt like freedom instead of fear.

After their confession in the garden, neither James nor Y/N seemed ready to part ways. The air between them felt fragile but warm — like something that had been broken and carefully put back together, stronger than before.

James kept Y/N’s hand in his the entire walk to his place, their fingers brushing and tangling like they had been waiting years for the permission to do so.

James’s apartment was quiet when they stepped inside, lit only by the soft glow of a lamp near the couch. He locked the door behind them, then turned, leaning his forehead lightly against Y/N’s.

“You really meant it, right?” he whispered. “You’re mine now?”

Y/N nodded, smiling softly. “I’m yours. Completely.”

Something in James relaxed at those words — his shoulders dropping, his breath deepening, his whole expression softening into something open and relieved. He brushed a slow kiss to Y/N’s forehead before guiding them gently toward the couch.

“Come here,” he murmured. “I just want to hold you.”

Y/N didn’t need convincing. She curled up beside him, and James pulled a blanket over them both before wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist.

It was a closeness they’d shared before — but this time, nothing felt uncertain. This time, James didn’t hold back. This time, Y/N didn’t flinch.

Y/N rested her head on his chest, listening to the calm, steady thump of his heartbeat. James pressed his cheek against the top of their head, breathing them in like he’d missed them even when they were inches apart.

“You know,” he said quietly, fingers brushing slow circles on their back, “I used to imagine this. Not just the cuddling — the knowing. Knowing that we’re something real.”

Y/N’s cheeks warmed. “I imagined it too. I was just too scared to say it. I always acted like we are….lovers in my head”

James pulled back slightly, just enough to see their face. “Not anymore acting ,right?”

“Not anymore,” Y/N whispered.

He smiled — that soft, tender smile he only ever had for her — and she leaned in to kiss them. It was unhurried, gentle, full of gratitude and relief.

A kiss that didn’t ask for reassurance because she finally had it. He kissed her back, hands lightly resting on her hoodie, pulling her closer in a way that surprised even him.

James let out a quiet laugh against their lips. “You’re really mine now,” he murmured,

brushing another soft kiss to their cheek, then another to their jaw, then back to their lips. “I can finally kiss you without wondering if you’ll disappear tomorrow.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Y/N said, fingers curling in the fabric at his chest. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Good,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the tip of their nose. “I like being stuck with you.”

They settled back into each other, Y/N tucked securely against him. James ran his hand slowly through their hair, grounding, gentle, almost rhythmic.

Every now and then he’d lean down and place a soft kiss on their temple, or their forehead, or the corner of their mouth, like he couldn’t quite help himself anymore.

Y/N lifted their head a little. “What?” James asked softly.

Y/N didn’t answer — they just leaned up to kiss him again.

This one was slower, deeper in emotion, the kind of kiss that said thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you all at once. James cupped their cheek, thumb stroking gently as he kissed them back with a tenderness that felt almost fragile.

When they pulled away, James tucked a stray piece of hair behind Y/N’s ear.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said quietly.

Y/N felt their heart melt. “You too.”

He pulled them closer, legs tangled comfortably under the blanket, their bodies fitting together like they always belonged this way.

The evening stretched softly around them — no rush, no fear, just warmth and quiet breathing and the steady certainty of their new beginning.

James kissed the top of her head once more.

“Stay tonight,” he whispered.

Y/N nodded without hesitation.

And for the first time, staying felt easy. Safe. Right.

APOLOGY

Martin is the type to apologize before you've even fully processed what happened.

He'll replay the moment in his head a hundred times, pacing around, groaning into his hands, convinced he ruined everything even if it was something tiny.

When he finally finds you alone, he's already mid‑ramble - stumbling over his words, insisting he didn't mean it, and that he hates the idea of you being upset because of him.

And even after you forgive him, he'll check in again later... just to make sure you really meant it.

BORROWED

It's freezing at the RedRed shoot - the kind of cold that makes everyone miserable.

You're shivering, trying to warm your hands, and Martin notices immediately.

Without saying anything, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders.

It's way too big on you - sleeves past your hands, collar swallowing half your neck - but it's warm, and it smells like him.

You thank him, and he nods like it's no big deal...

But the second you turn away, he bounces on his toes in place, quietly freaking out because you look too cute in his jacket.

Then he forces himself to stand still and act serious when you look back - like he wasn't just having a whole internal meltdown.

COMPLIMENTS

Martin gives compliments constantly - loud, excited, and without thinking twice.

If he likes your hair, your outfit, your laugh, he'll say it right away, no hesitation at all.

But when you compliment him?

He turns red instantly, smiles too big, and mumbles a soft "thanks" while looking at the floor.

He'll pretend he's fine... but he's absolutely blushing for the next ten minutes.

          ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀           ⠀(•˕ •マּ ֶָ֢.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀꒰ ꒰ྀི 𓏼    ݃ ₘₐ𝓭ₑ  ᵇʸ ᵐᵉ

Fruit Mix Series (story based on fruits)

01- Juhoon🍓 02- James🍍 03- Martin🥭

“Pineapples are tangy and the acids irritates your tongue-

“Yall are cornballs” Keonho fake-gagged as he looked at your chat history.

“Shush” you said as you playfully shoved his face aside.

“I’m back with the wings” you hear your boyfriend, James, announce as he walked into the living room of your house.

“Yoo, I want some too” Keonho smiled as he jokingly begged you.

“What are you doing in her house anyways” James said as he walked towards you two. You looked up at him, a bit taken back by the question.

“Don’t kill me, I just want the food- not the girl” Keonho grinned before running away.

🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍

“You’re too scary” you sighed while James was still sulky.

“I’m not scary- I just asked why he was here! That’s all” he defended.

“I know baby, but it’s scary”

He huffed a bit and looked at you.

“Do I scare you”

The room fell into a subtle silence as you thought to yourself. Sure, James was the oldest so he automatically had more power against the members- but you never thought of him as scary.

“No, maybe a bit intimidating but not scary- not ever” you say with honesty.

“If I did, would you tell me?”

“Of course”

James smiled before pulling you in a bone crushing hug. You gasped a bit before giggling to yourself as you patted his head.

“I love you, so much” you smiled and kissed his cheeks. He grinned before pulling you in for another long kiss, his hands on your waist, head tilting slightly to let you gain more control.

Once you guys pulled away, he grinned and ruffled your hair.

“Love you too”

JAMES 🦅-

James is sitting on the floor tying his shoe, hair sticking to his forehead, breathing a little heavier than usual. He looks focused, serious - very "don't talk to me, I'm surviving."

You walk over quietly and place a small pudding cup beside him.

He pauses mid‑movement.

Looks at the pudding.

Looks at you.

Back at the pudding.

"...Is this for me?" he asks, voice low and a little confused.

Y/n x James (zhao yufan) , James loves y/n too much but how ever there are sometimes when he feels like he needs a break too and that’s how the argument start . But who know how will it end? Will the argument worth arguing or not! Let’s find out . Fluff , angst , break up , swearing . English is not my first language so I am sorry if u see any mistake .

( I have already write this fic down like roughly but not really plot going on but I found one on my feed on tumblr and had to finish it and change stuff here and there and is so heavily inspired by @lyanftw ‘s recent James’s text)

James had never felt mornings like this. The sunlight spilled through the curtains, warm and soft, but it didn’t feel warm. It didn’t feel soft. Because she wasn’t here.

Y/N had always been the first person to wake up in his apartment, the smell of her shampoo and the quiet hum of her voice greeting the day. James could still remember the way she’d curl her fingers around his hand, tugging him awake with a sleepy smile that made his chest ache with happiness.

“James… wake up, sleepyhead,” she’d whisper, brushing hair from his eyes, lips brushing his forehead. Or even tickle him.

They had spent countless mornings like this, tangled in sheets, cuddling , giggling over stupid jokes, or just staring at each other in comfortable silence.

The world could burn around them and they wouldn’t care. They were each other’s everything. AT least they “were”.

James reached over to the pillow beside him, and for a fleeting moment, he imagined she was there. And he wished she was there .

Her warmth, her smell, the faint tickle of her hair against his face. But when he opened his eyes, the pillow was empty.

The apartment was silent.

Too silent to call it a home , maybe just a house. House but never home.

He sat up, heart hammering, and reached for his phone. He’d done it every morning since the accident. Yeah the accident… .

“Good morning, love. Did you sleep well? Did u dream about me baby” he clicked sent.

No reply. Of course not. She couldn’t reply.

He left the apartment and walked down familiar streets, each one filled with memories. The bakery they had visited after their first date. The park bench where she had leaned her head on his shoulder and whispered, “I love you, James.”

A small fight.

That’s all it had been. Just a stupid, trivial fight about nothing. And now… she was gone.

He wanted to scream, to cry, to run, to throw himself into the world just to feel something beyond this crushing emptiness.but he didn’t . Y/n hated the aggression, y/n hated when he is mad and angry that’s why he calm him self and cry silently .

But it would be better if he just let it all out . He didn’t . He still regrets the way he raised his voice at her that day . The argument . She didn’t call that night after the argument . He thought she hated him . Just to hit with a new that she got into accident .

He blamed himself. Every hour, every minute, every second he wished he could take it back, go back to the moment before the fight, and hold her until she forgave him.

Martin ,juhoon , keonho and Seonghyeon had been trying to help. They knocked on his apartment, they sat with him for hours, they tried to pull him out of his spiral.

“Bro… come on eat something please ,” Martin said gently one evening, sitting beside him as James held her favorite blanket and the jellycat she loved the most named “jami”.

“I know how much you loved her, but she’s not coming back .” Keonho said softly trying to be gentle . The once loud kid was not being gentle to the oldest brother , james.

“Keonho , you know she said she wanted you as a child she said she would adopt you if we ever …..get married” james said half laughing dryly .

“ oh..” keonho smile at jame “yeah I get you but u have to take care of ur self too and accept that she’s gone.. hyung please”

James shook his head . “No! You don’t get it! She was mine. ..She loved me…And now she’s dead because I fought with her!” His voice cracked. “It’s my fault!”

Seonghyeon tried to calm him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “James… you didn’t—”

“I did , I did fight with her! We argued. I said things! She left angry! She… she never should’ve… she never should’ve left!”

He fell onto the floor, tears streaming, hitting the ground with sobs that shook his whole body. Martin and Seonghyeon looked at each other helplessly.

In the days that followed, James stopped eating properly. He stopped sleeping.

He wandered into her apartment, now locked and abandoned, and stared at the walls as if she might appear at any moment.

He called her repeatedly, texted her endlessly. “I love you… I’m sorry… I miss you… please…” Every message left him feeling emptier than before.

Then the small hallucinations began.

It started with faint whispers when he was alone.

A soft laugh, a brushing of fingertips against his arm. Sometimes, he thought he saw her standing at the kitchen counter, humming a tune he didn’t recognize. He reached out, and there was nothing.

But he couldn’t stop seeing her.

One evening, he stumbled into her own apartment again where he used to come to when he was a trainee cus it’s near his company , now convinced she might be there.

The door was locked, just as it always was, but he banged on it until his hands bled . “Y/N! Please! Don’t leave me! Please!”

A shadow moved across the hallway—was it her? He strained his eyes, and for a terrifying second, he swore she was standing there, arms crossed, head tilted, a faint smirk on her lips. “James… you have to leave ,” the voice whispered.

He fell back, choking on his own sobs.

The hallucinations grew worse.

Her laughter echoed in the apartment, her perfume filled the air, her touch lingered on his skin. Every memory became alive, vivid and cruel, reminding him of everything he had lost.

Martin and Seonghyeon tried to intervene. “Bro, this isn’t healthy. You’re losing yourself,” Martin said one night, trying to pull him away from staring at her empty closet.

Seonghyeon’s voice was soft. “James… You have to let her go.”

“I can’t! I can’t! She… she was everything! I loved her! I still love her! I should’ve held her tighter, said I was sorry , I should’ve done something … she left angry and she never came back to me …to her James”

The days blurred together. He would wake up, text her good morning, call her, and wait in vain for a reply.

He’d sit in the apartment, talk to her as if she were there, laugh with her, fight with her, kiss her pillow in desperation.

Friends came and went, tried to pull him back, but nothing reached him.

Every sound, every shadow, every breeze became her. And every time, it tore his mind apart, because he knew she was gone.

One night, he collapsed on the bed, clutching her favorite hoodie to his chest.

Tears fell freely. “I love you… I love you… I love you…” His voice was hoarse, broken. “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…”

He imagined her head resting on his shoulder, her fingers brushing through his hair. He imagined her whispering, “It’s okay, James… I forgive you.”

But when he opened his eyes, there was only the dark, empty apartment, smelling faintly of lavender, cold and silent.

Martin and Seonghyeon watched from the door, helpless. There was nothing they could do. He was already lost in her memory, in the pain, in the love that would never end, never fade.

James stayed there all night, talking to her, pleading with her, crying for her.

And though the world told him she was gone, he refused to believe it. Because love like theirs didn’t die. And maybe… maybe if he waited long enough, she’d come back to him.

But she didn’t. And will never

And James… James stayed, trapped between memory and madness, holding onto a ghost that would never return.

James was slumped on the floor of his apartment, knees pulled to his chest, his hands digging into his hair as if he could claw the pain out of himself. He wasn’t aggressive or anything just cold .

It feels like he’s someone , james the James he used to be is not him anymore a part of him died when she died . A part of him lost.

The room was cold, silent, but his mind was loud—too loud. He could hear her voice everywhere, see her smile in every shadow, feel her warmth where there was none.

It has been 2 weeks since the accident .but he still sees her , feels her .

He whispered her name over and over. His voice cracked, broken and raw. “I should’ve stopped it… I should’ve said sorry… I should’ve—”

He gasped for air, chest tight, tears blurring his vision. The grief was like fire in his veins, consuming everything.

And then the knocks came. Soft at first, then insistent.

“James… open the door!” Martin’s voice called. “Open the fucking door bro” he bang the door .

No reply .

Seonghyeon, Juhoon, and Keonho were behind him, their voices urgent but calm.

“ ZHAO YUFAN , open the fucking door bro DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID” Martin yelled out .

“ JAMES hyung ,James “ juhoon called out.

No reply.

Keonho added, “You’re not breaking alone, james . We’re here. All of us. Let us in.”

Finally, Martin leaned closer, pressing his hand against the door breaking the lock . But still couldn’t get in.

Then a noise came

Click .

A metal sound

Something sharp , maybe

“ zhao yufan , OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR” Martin yelled as he kick and break the door to jame’s room.

“James hyung , James hyung” keonho called out . We just want to see you James .

Another click .

Not a metal sound more like the sound when James open his window .

“Fucking hell bro STOP James” Martin yelled out so loud not with the anger but the fear of losing his brother , his bestfriend , his family.

“I don’t give a fuck anymore bro I am breaking this shit” Martin whisper under his breath and broke the door fully to get into the room.

“ STOP JAMES HYUNG , ZHAO YUFAN” seonghyeon called out as soon as he see James near the window zoning our he run and grab James before he do something stupid .

Something in James snapped. The dam of control he’d been clinging to shattered, and he collapsed completely, sobbing, his body shaking as if it could break apart. “I… I can’t… I can’t breathe… I can’t… she… she’s gone…”

Seonghyeon immediately knelt beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Shhh… it’s okay, James… it’s okay. You’re not alone. Breathe with me, alright? Just breathe.”

Juhoon and Keonho knelt on either side, each offering their hands. Martin gently pulled James into a hug, holding him tight as the sobs wracked his body.

“You loved her,” Martin said softly. “And you still do. That love doesn’t vanish, James. But you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. Let us help you carry it.”

James buried his face in Martin’s shoulder, the tears soaking through, the grief spilling freely. “I… I can’t… I can’t… it’s all my fault… I fought with her… I should’ve… I should’ve stopped it…”

Keonho rubbed his back gently. “Hey… it’s not your fault. You didn’t cause this. She knew you loved her. She… she always knew.”

Juhoon nodded, squeezing his hand. “We’re here now. You’re not facing this alone anymore. We’ve got you, James. Always.”

Seonghyeon brushed wet strands of hair from his face. “Let’s get you out of here. You need air. You need sunlight. You need to remember that the world hasn’t ended, even if it feels like it has.”

With the support of all four friends, James slowly let them guide him to the door.

He stumbled, shaking, exhausted from crying, but they didn’t let him fall. Martin held him up, Juhoon and Keonho steadied him from the sides, and Seonghyeon led the way.

Outside, the cold air hit him like a shock, but it was real. The sky was gray, but it was alive. He could hear the faint rustle of leaves, the distant hum of traffic, the soft laughter of strangers passing by. Life still existed, even if hers had ended.

The friend group make him shower and eat something before they went out.

Keonho , the silly loud kid, now quitely cleaning Jame’s apartment.

Juhoon , the quiet one , now trying his best to get a smile from Jame .

Martin , always the loudest , now holding James quietly .

They led him to a quiet park bench, and he sat, still trembling. Martin handed him a bottle of water. “Breathe,” he said simply. “Just breathe.”

James did, slowly. The sobs came in ragged waves, but he didn’t feel alone

. He felt supported. He felt, maybe for the first time in weeks, that he could survive this.

“I… I miss her so much,” James whispered, voice cracking.

Keonho rested a hand on his shoulder. “We know, bro. And it’s okay. You can miss her. You should miss her. But you don’t have to drown in it.”

“We also miss her too she was our mom of the group but yk she always want the best for you so u have to be ok not rn but day by day” Martin added .

Juhoon nodded. “She’d want you to live, James. To carry her memory, not your guilt.”

Seonghyeon wrapped an arm around him. “We’re not leaving. We’ll sit with you as long as you need. You’re not alone. Not ever.”

James let out a shaky laugh, tears still falling. “I… I don’t know how to… I don’t know how to be okay without her…”

Martin pulled him closer, soft and firm at the same time. “You don’t have to be okay yet. You just have to survive. One step at a time. We’ve got you. All of us.”

“U need to live for her james , u have to be more kind to the world and to yourself “ keonho added .

“Oh Mr wise man speaking now huh” seonghyeon added which made james laugh a bit .

James leaned into them, broken, raw, and human. For the first time since the accident, he let himself fall apart completely—and for the first time, he felt that maybe, just maybe, he could be picked up again.

Because he had them.

Because even in the darkness, he wasn’t alone.

A little angst for you guys before I leave tumblr for like 3 months due to personal stuff

Also! Credit to all the creators of the Gifs I dont own them ⭐️

JAMES 🦅

Backstage at a concert venue in America. 

It’s loud, chaotic, staff running everywhere, lights flashing, equipment being rolled past. The boys are getting ready for their next stage, and James is standing off to the side adjusting his in‑ears, focused and calm in that very James way.

You’re weaving through the maze of cables with a clipboard, trying to get to the stylist table. Someone calls your name, you turn your head for half a second—

—and your foot catches on a thick cable.

You stumble forward.

Before you even register what’s happening, a hand grabs your arm. 

Firm. Steady. 

Pulling you upright before you hit the ground.

You crash into someone’s chest.